


Rotten Heart

by NeverlandAwaitsUs



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Prince!Killian, Princess!Emma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-10 13:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 116,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3291281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverlandAwaitsUs/pseuds/NeverlandAwaitsUs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Princess Emma and Prince Killian are supposed to marry to unite the kingdoms, but neither are very keen on a marriage. They've never seen each other before and while Emma has to struggle with his attitude toward her, he has a dark secret he's keeping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may know the story, I'm bringing it over from FFN to here. Also for new readers, big hello!

_"I will take away what you love most."_

_The king never believed that something like that would happen just because he killed an animal. But he went too far into the woods of the witch; he hadn't noticed it was a special animal, and before he could have stopped his son, he had already shot the animal with a bolt from his crossbow. Only seconds later, the sky had become dark and the witch had appeared._

_"And you, you have to pay with your soul."_

_She pointed her finger at the young boy of fourteen years, and then she spoke the words that would change his fate. A cruel curse fell from her lips, and the boy was wrapped into a dark aura that disappeared into his body. A disease no one could stop. It would guzzle into his bones, eating him alive from the inside, and it would destroy his life and one of his loved ones. A few weeks was all he got. A few weeks full of suffering and the thought that he could die every day._

_For days, the king and the guards searched for a cure, but they couldn't find one. No books knew the old words the witch had spoken, no healer and no wizard knew what they could do. The king would lose his son, and the people would lose their future king. He couldn't let that happen. He needed to find a way, so he went through half the kingdom to a mountain everyone feared. At the top of it lived a witch, many years old, no one knew if she was good or bad, but he had to try._

_In the second it took to reach the door, she had already opened it. She knew. She saw it in his eyes before she looked to the boy, almost a man, but with this curse in his bones and his heart, he would never have the chance to grow up. His face was already pale, his eyes looked tired, and his body was weak. The disease had almost reached its high, and he would die soon._

_She let both in and studied the boy until she looked at the king with a face he couldn't read._ _"It's in his heart. His heart is dying. It's black and rotten."_

_The king swallowed hard, and the boy just took a deep breath, closing his eyes, but he didn't want to show any fear._ _"Is there-"_

_"A way? Yes. But it won't be pretty."_

_The king tilted his head, looked at the witch, not knowing if he should be happy or afraid. She kneeled in front of the boy, stroking a strain of hair out of his eyes and looking back to the king._

_"I have to take the heart."_

_Silence. She placed her hand on the chest of the young boy, could feel how he struggled with his breathing, could feel how the heart beat slowly._

_"I have to take your heart. The curse won't affect you anymore and you will live. But you will also lose the feelings that come from your heart. Love. Happiness. The good things. You will feel empty, hurt, and the darkness of the curse will still be in your bones and in your soul."_

_The boy looked to his father, then back to the old woman. He swallowed and didn't really understand what she meant, what consequences all of this would have. He was too tired, in too much pain, and he just didn't want to die. He wanted to be a great king one day. He wanted to make his father proud - he couldn't die._

_"Do it."_

_Whispered words from the weak boy was all she got and all she needed. The witch nodded and pushed her hand into his chest. He screamed, biting down hard on his bottom lip, tasting his own blood. Seconds later, the witch held his dark heart in her hands, putting it into a black chest and locking it before giving it to his father. The boy fell on his knees, breathing hard, trying to ignore the pain._

_"_ _You have to hide it. Keep it safe. If someone attacks the heart, your boy will die. Hide it."_

_The king nodded and took the chest, looking worriedly to his boy. When his son got up and looked him in the eyes, he froze. He saw nothing in his eyes. They were dull, and the bright blue was gone._

* * *

_8 years later_

Her butt hurt. Badly. This road was the worst, and she didn't want to be here. This carriage was annoying, and she would prefer to take her own horse to ride, but no, it was too dangerous. Yeah, sure. The only thing that could attack her here was a bunny.  
They were on the road since the early morning - since the first sunbeams were out - and she hated it. The sun was going down already, and the night would be here soon. Great. In a dark forest in a crappy carriage in a foreign kingdom. First a long journey with the ship and now in this damn carriage.

"What do you think? How long is it until we're there?"

Her friend and lady raised her head, looking up from her book. Ruby was one of her best friends and the only one that was allowed to come with her. Emma was glad that the other woman was coming with her because she was great. Alone in that big, strange castle with a man she never met before would be awkward. She knew no one in the other kingdom and would probably have no one to talk to.

"I don't know, but I hope we're there soon. Are you excited to meet him?"

Emma wrinkled her nose and tilted her head, shrugging slightly. Excited? No. Nervous? Yes. The arranged marriage was a stupid idea, but she understood why it was necessary. Both kingdoms had their weaknesses, and together they would be strong enough to face the coming war that was boiling up in the west. She did it for her kingdom and her people; her parents were really proud of her, but she wasn't very keen on the marriage. She never met the prince. She only heard stories of him, and they were…well, not very flattering. A womanizer, cruel, and ruthless. Some people even say that he has no heart. Emma didn't know what of that was true or not. She wanted to wait until she met him before she would say anything about him.

"No, not really, I guess. I still don't want to marry him. Hell, I don't even know what he looks like!"

Emma ran her hand through her hair and chewed on her bottom lip until she heard the laugh of Ruby. She raised an eyebrow at the other girl.

"What?"

"Well, I heard he's hot."

The blonde rolled her eyes. Of course Ruby had to say that.

"Maybe he's ugly as hell, and then I'm still stuck with him."

"Oh, come on, try to be positive!"

Emma sighed but nodded slightly. She really hoped it wasn't as bad as she thought because she had no idea how to survive with an ugly asshole for the rest of her life.  
She had basically been preparing for a marriage like this since she was fourteen. And now, six years later, she wasn't ready at all. She was kind of scared, even if she knew she shouldn't be. It was the best for her land, for her people, for her family. She did the right thing.

* * *

"Emma, look! We're here!"

Ruby's voice sounded excited, and she was about to jump up and down. Emma turned around and looked out of the window of the carriage. She could see the big castle, how it came closer and closer. It was an impressive building, and she was sure she would totally get lost in there.  
The carriage stopped and the door opened. A servant held out his hand to help the girls out. Emma got out first, and when she looked up, she saw a few people standing around, watching closely and interested. Then the heavy doors of the castle opened and a few guards came out, followed by the king and his son. She didn't even need to know them, you could clearly tell their positions. The king was wearing his crown, and his son had this arrogant look on his face that only royals wore. Great. He was arrogant.

"Oh, shit, he's hot."

She heard the voice of her friend behind her and next to her ear.

"Shhh, Ruby!"

Emma slapped her friend gently on the arm and waited for the men to come closer. Well, she couldn't really deny that he was handsome. He was tall, and she could see how his muscles moved under his clothes. Scruff on his face, dark hair, blue eyes. She frowned slightly. His eyes were dull instead of bright, and on his face was no smile, just a thin line. Maybe he was just as nervous as she was.

"Princess Emma!"

The king stopped in front of her and bowed slightly, taking her hand to place a kiss on her knuckles. She smiled softly when he straightened himself again and nodded to Ruby.

"I'm happy to welcome you and your lady to my court."

He seemed to be friendly, so that was at least a good thing. His son couldn't be so bad if the king was nice. Well, that's what she hoped.

"Welcome."

His voice was rough when he bowed before her but not caring to take her hand and kiss it like every other man always did. He didn't seem to be keen on being here, and she didn't like the way he was looking at her.  
"Well then, Killian can take it from here. I have some business to do in the throne room. We will see you for dinner tonight."  
The king smiled slightly and walked away, everyone watching him until he was back in the big castle.

"And you are…the princess?"

The prince raised an eyebrow, and she totally didn't like the look on his face, like he was something better than her. She bit her bottom lip slightly and nodded. That question was quite weird; he should know who she was.

"That I am."

He tilted his head slightly and shook his head then, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I guess I'll have to take a mistress then."

Her mouth fell open at his words, and she was extremely confused. A mistress? Why? She didn't even understand and gods, she wanted to slap that look from his face. It wasn't good that she already had violent thoughts against him.

"Excuse me? What does that mean?"

He rolled his eyes, leaning closer to her with a smug grin on his lips.

"Oh, I'm quite sure you know what a mistress is. I'm sure your daddy has a few of them."

He chuckled darkly, and something dangerous sparked in his eyes when he looked at her with this wolfish grin, like she was his prey that he would rip apart, and in that moment, she really felt like that.  
Ruby was about to say something, but Emma just held her hand up to stop her. She would be able to deal with him alone, but before she could say anything he was yelling after some servants.

"Your lady and your baggage will go with my servants. You'll come with me."

He smirked slightly, and Emma shook her head.

"Ruby will come with us."

She could see how he frowned, and it was kind of satisfying. Then he sighed and shook his head.

"You are at my court. You are are my future wife. You should listen to what I say before you or your friend end up in a cell."

What the hell was wrong with him? She wanted to answer, but Ruby put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's fine, Emma. I'll visit you later."

With these words, Ruby left with some servants and vanished in a side entrance. The little crowd around them also disappeared and the people went back to work. She was basically alone with this man she already kind of disliked because of his behavior toward her.

"Well then, my dear princess, let me show you the castle."

He held out his arm, but she ignored it, just started to walk towards the entrance. He chuckled slightly before he followed her, and it seemed like it would only be a game for him.

* * *

Two hours. It took them two hours to walk through the whole castle. This building was a monster, and she would probably need a map. He had explained to her a little bit about the castle, but not too much. She didn't get a lot information while they spent the time together.  
They were walking down another hallway, their steps echoing, but then she stopped. He had already walked around the next corner and didn't bother to look back at first. In front of her was a door made out of black wood and it looked…burned?

"Come on, don't waste time."

She heard his impatient words and growled slightly, turning around to face him.

"What's behind there?"

He raised an eyebrow and walked back to her, grabbing her arm.

"Quite nosy, aren't we? But that's none of your business," he said in annoyance and literally pulled her away from the door.

"I can walk on my own!"

"Then do it!"

Maybe it was just her mind playing games with her, but he seemed angry. Just because she stopped in front of that door? It didn't really help to make her curiosity go away. Maybe she could ask a servant later.  
They walked up a few more stairs and through several hallways before he stopped.

"And here is my room, in case you need something."

Emma huffed slightly. Did he really think she would go to him to ask for help or anything? If yes, he was probably the most stupid person ever.

"Great," she just said briefly and rolled her eyes. And he chuckled - again. He obviously had fun with annoying the hell out of her.  
He turned around and walked down the hallway, stopping in front of another door.

"And here is your room."

She blinked a few times at him and then at the door.

"Are you serious?"

"What?"

"My room is almost next to yours!"

"Problem?"

Gods she hated that smug grin on his face. She didn't want to be near him if he kept acting like a dick. His mistress comment still sat in her stomach. She didn't want to think about if her father had one or two. No, that was disgusting, he loved her mother more than anything else.  
She took a deep breath before she turned to him.

"Are you done then? Can I have my peace?"

He laughed and nodded, opening the door for her. Oh, now he wanted to be nice? She growled slightly and walked in, wanting to close the door, but he stopped her.

"I'll come and get you as soon as the dinner is ready."

And of course he didn't let her walk there on her own. Okay, maybe it was good because she would probably need some time to get there on her own, but she wasn't very keen on spending more time with him. Emma nodded slightly, and he let her close the door. She took in another deep breath and looked through the room.  
It was a huge room with a large bed. The sun shone right through her window. A table, a few chairs, a wardrobe…it was basically a normal room just…prettier, and it also seemed to be bigger than her room in her castle.  
She walked towards the window and looked outside and could see the garden. It was beautiful. The flowers, a little pond, and it made her smile, probably for the first time since she was here. Without him around it seemed to be peaceful. His presence made her feel…she didn't even know. She didn't feel safe around him, she didn't feel well in her own skin, and she just wanted to be away from him as long and as far as possible. Of course, it was a stupid thought if she had to marry him, but the king decided when the time was right, and he would probably give her a few weeks to get used to her new home.

She also still had hope that his attitude would change. At the moment, he was mean and rude, no real gentleman like she always imagined a prince. If he wouldn't change, she had no idea what she would do. Maybe steal a horse and try to get home. She missed her family, her parents, her friends, her court. She had a strange feeling when she was here - something wasn't right, and she just couldn't tell what it was.  
Emma sat down on the bed and leaned back until her back hit the soft mattress. She sighed. It was a good feeling to calm down for a moment. She closed her eyes and tried to think about nothing, tried to let all the worries go away, to find some peace and silence in being alone. She had to be positive about all this. It was a good thing for her people, for all the innocent people she would protect with this marriage. She understood how important it was to unite the kingdoms, otherwise they would lose the war that was raising in the west, and she just needed to find a way to accept this man at her side. To tolerate him. That couldn't be so hard. He couldn't be as heartless as he seemed, even he needed to care about something.  
A knock pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Please don't be him," she whispered to herself before she got up, fumbling with her dress a bit before she walked over and opened the door. Thank god it wasn't him, but it also wasn't Ruby.

"Hello, my name is Tinkerbell. May I come in?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: I was rereading this chapter before I posted it because I've written it quite a while ago and I cringed a little at my "old" work. Writing gets totally better, I think. It was my first fanfiction I've ever written when I first started to post this, so please bear with me *laughs*


	2. Chapter 2

Emma blinked a few times before she took a step back and let the woman in. Blonde hair and a green dress, she wasn't around in the crowd of people earlier.

"So you're Princess Emma, right? I heard you arrived today. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Tink pulled Emma into a brief hug, and she returned the hug after a few seconds of confusion. At least she seemed to be nice and about her age. Did she live in the castle?

"Well, then…Tinkerbell, what can I do for you?"

The other woman giggled slightly and sat down on the large bed, smiling up at Emma who was kind of insecure in the current situation. Gods, she wished Ruby was there.

"I just wanted to tell you that if you have questions or need help, you can come to me. I'm a Lady of the castle, and the king took me in after my father fell in a battle against the ruthless bandits in the woods. I have lived here all my life, and I know that Killian is probably not the right person to talk to about…things."

Well, she was completely right about that. Emma wasn't very fond of the idea of spending any time with Killian right now, even if she knew she had to deal with him during dinner later, but she had hope that he would behave since the king would be there, too.

She walked over to Tinkerbell and sat down next to her on the bed, turning slightly toward her.

"So Emma, how do you like it so far? The castle? The people?"

The princess laughed softly and raised an eyebrow, feeling sympathy for the other woman.

"Do you really mean the castle or just Killian?"

Tink chuckled slightly and smirked, shrugging.

"Both, I guess."

Emma scratched her neck before she bit her lower lip. She felt kind of bad saying something awful about Killian now. Tink must have known him since he was a little boy, so they were probably friends.

"Well, the castle is really amazing. So different from the one of my land. And Killian…well…"

She actually had no words to describe how she felt toward him, but Tink was faster with her answer.

"He can be a pain in the ass, I know."

Emma laughed and nodded; she totally agreed. She hadn't spent much time with him so far, but he didn't seem to care about her and even insulted her father.

Tink sighed slightly and looked at her with an encouraging smile.

"He wasn't always like that, you know. I've known him for years now, and some day something changed. I'm not sure what it was, but I'm convinced he's a good man somewhere inside."

Emma tilted her head to the side and wasn't sure what she should think about that. He seemed arrogant and mean, not much of a good man. She just shrugged a little, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I don't know. I hope his attitude toward me will change if we are to be husband and wife one day."

Tink patted her arm softly and stood up.

"I'll keep my fingers crossed. I have to go now before dinner starts. Remember I'm your friend here."

The blonde winked with a smile and walked toward the door but stopped in front of it.

"Oh, and in case you're looking for Ruby, I met her a few minutes ago in the kitchen."

Emma frowned slightly but nodded. What was her friend doing in the kitchen? Her cooking was horrible, and she was no servant.

"Thank you, it was nice to meet you."

Tink laughed and turned around, opening the door and leaving with a little wave.

But seriously, what was Ruby doing in the kitchen?

Emma groaned before she got up and left her room. She really didn't care about if Killian wanted to pick her up or not - she would find the way on her own…somehow. She would get used to this castle after a while.

The young princess walked down the hallway and was able to find the kitchen after some time. Before she even entered the room, she could hear Ruby's laughter and frowned for a second. This would be the first time that Ruby was happy to be in a kitchen around servants. She entered the kitchen and saw her friend leaning against a table with an apple in hand, talking to a man. Of course, a man. While everyone around them was working to make the royal dinner, she was flirting.

"Ruby!"

The other woman looked beside the man in front of her and waved slightly.

"Emma, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you!"

Emma walked closer and looked up to the stranger. Short blond hair and not in the clothes of a servant. She raised an eyebrow and Ruby started to laugh.

"I'm sorry. This is Victor. He's a guard. Victor, that's Emma, the princess."

His eyebrows rose, and he bowed, taking her hand and placing a kiss on it.

"Nice to meet you, Mylady."

Emma smiled and looked back to Ruby.

"Why isn't Killian like that?"

She laughed softly and could also hear the laughter of Victor.

"I guess he isn't what you expected, your highness?" he asked her with a knowing smile on his lips.

Of course, he knew Killian when he was a guard around here. Emma just nodded slightly and took a deep breath.

Before she could say anything, a woman approached them, smiling shyly.

"The dinner is almost finished, Mylady. You might want to go upstairs into the dining hall."

"Oh. Thank you, of course!"

Now, when she thought about all the food, she was really hungry. She looked to Ruby with a slightly lost look on her face before she could hear the voice of the guard again.

"I can guide you if you want, Mylady."

Emma hadn't even had the choice to answer because Ruby already nodded and grabbed her hand, following Victor out of the kitchen.

Great. Ruby already had a gentleman who she could flirt with, and she was literally trapped with this asshole of a prince. She really hadn't pictured her time here like this. The first day was almost over, and she already had the need to scream. She should just get a horse and ride to the coast, take a ship, and sail back home. But that would be really selfish and not how her parents raised her.

* * *

She didn't want to say this was the worst royal dinner she ever went to, but yes, it actually was the worst royal dinner. The first thing was that Killian didn't even bother to go. They sat there for around two hours, and he wasn't even there for five minutes. When the king sent his guards out to drag him out of his room, they came back and told him he wasn't even there. Actually, he wasn't around at all. They looked through the whole castle but weren't able to find him.

The second thing was that the king was called into the throne room because of an incident. He basically left her alone because he had to make some important decisions. So she sat there for an hour with Ruby and Tinkerbell while they ate and talked by themselves.

It was more of a meeting of friends than a royal dinner where she learned more about her future husband. They didn't talk a lot about Killian. Tink told them about the beautiful nature around the castle and the town, the deep woods, and the magic that was out there. Emma wasn't really a fan of magic. She knew it was out there, but most people had long forgotten that it was there. Many years ago, magic was present; she knew the old stories but now? People denied it was there because they were afraid. She never saw real magic, and she wasn't very keen on seeing it. Sure, magic could be something beautiful, but it could be dangerous, too.

Emma sighed while she walked slowly through the hallway of the castle on her way outside. It was night, almost everyone was asleep, but she needed some fresh air. She needed to think, to surpress her homesickness. Gods, she wished she could be with her parents right now but no, of course not. Why did she even agree to that marriage? She wasn't so sure if it was the right thing anymore.

The warm summer air surrounded her as soon as she stepped outside into the garden, a soft smile on her lips. No matter how scary this place could be, the garden was beautiful.

She was about to sit down on one of the benches when she heard rustling, and she jerked around, only to see Killian directly in front of her. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow while her chest moved heavily.

"You almost scared me to death!" she said, still in shock and glaring at him, but he just shrugged.

"You shouldn't be out here at this time of night anyway, love."

She rolled her eyes. Now he wanted to tell her what's good and what's bad for her? Besides that, she hated when he called her 'love'.

"You're out here too."

He chuckled and leaned closer.

"Well, my dear princess, I just came back from town and have a reason to be here."

Emma frowned slightly and took a step back, just to be sure. She looked up and down his body. He wasn't dressed like a prince, more like an ordinary man.

"What were you doing in town?"

Killian laughed and took a step closer, invading her personal space.

"You know, visiting the town can be fun if no one recognizes you…if you know what I mean."

There it was again. That wolfish grin. She never knew what was going on in his head, even if she could read people easily. But he was so hard to read.

"That's disgusting."

He placed his hand over his heart and acted like he was wounded.

"Oh, love, a man has needs, you can't blame me for that!"

He raised his hand and wanted to slide his fingers down her cheek, but she took another step back, and he growled in annoyance.

She chewed on her bottom lip and looked him over again before she took a deep breath.

"You were missed during the dinner."

"Oh, I know that. The guards searched the town, but I wasn't in the mood to spend time at a boring dinner."

Killian shrugged and turned around.

"We were supposed to get to know each other" she said, and he looked back over his shoulder.

"I know you, love. You're an open book to me."

With that, he turned his head back and started to walk back into the castle.

Emma snorted. Open book. He knew nothing about her. She was here for a day, and he had barely spent any time with her. The only thing she learned was that she didn't like him. Her gut told her that he was bad news, and she could always trust her gut. Even Ruby didn't like him, and Ruby normally liked every handsome man.

The young princess shook her head and took one last deep breath of the fresh air before she also walked inside slowly, hoping he was long gone and she wouldn't run into him. She had had enough of him for today, and she just wanted to go to bed and sleep peacefully. They would probably spend time together tomorrow after he missed the dinner and the chance to get to know her, even if she wasn't very keen on spending time with him. He would probably keep being an arrogant bastard with snarky comments, and she swore to god, if he tried to touch her, she would cut his hand off. She wasn't a person who liked to be touched by a stranger, and that was exactly what he was. A stranger. Not her future husband, a friend, or a prince. He was just a stranger.

* * *

The sun was rising and painted her room in a wonderful light. She was a awake, kind of. She knew the sun shone onto her face, and she knew she should probably get up, but she really didn't want to. Her bed was so comfortable, and she had never expected that she would be able to sleep so well in here. She had needed a while to fall asleep, but after that, she had a dreamless sleep.

She smiled slightly and turned around, eyes still closed, and she was about to fall asleep again when she heard someone clear their throat. Within seconds she sat up straight in bed, her whole body covered with the blanket up to her chin and her eyes wide open when she saw who was in her room. While she had been asleep.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" she yelled at him, her heart beating fast in her chest.

She didn't want to know how long he had been here. There in that chair, just watching her. Gods, what was wrong with him?!

And he just chuckled, again. She closed her eyes, trying to control her temper. When she opened them again, she had hoped he would have gone but no, he still sat there, his head slightly tilted with a smug grin on his lips while he watched her.

"Killian! Get out of here! I'm not dressed!"

She literally growled at him but he just leaned forward, placing his elbows on his thighs.

"You're not naked either, so stop freaking out."

Was he serious? She had the need to get up and slap him across the face, but she didn't want him to see her in barely any clothes.

"So what? You were sneaking around in my room and decided to watch me?"

He laughed and shook his head, leaning back in his chair with something in his eyes that she never saw before, but she also couldn't tell what it meant.

"Actually, I waited for you to wake up. Then your breathing changed, and I thought I could give you a hint that I was here."

She hated him. She hated him, hated him, hated him.

"Oh, and knocking at the door wasn't an option? Like a normal person?"

He shrugged and got up from his chair, walking closer to her bed, and she slid farther away from him to the other side of the bed.

"Get dressed, go eat something, and I'll see you in a hour at the stables. We're going for a ride."

She blinked a few times and didn't really understand, but before she could say something, he was already out of the room. He watched her sleeping to tell her they were going on a ride? She had no words for that. She never met a man like him, so arrogant, smug, and…creepy. Yes, that he was. Creepy. And one day, she had to marry him. Gods, she wished she never agreed to coming here.

The thing that was freaking her out was that she couldn't read him at all. She didn't know what was going on in his head; she didn't know what he was capable of. Right now, she believed he could do anything. Okay well, maybe not murder someone or anything, but he was very high on the creep level.

As soon as she calmed down a bit, she rested her head back onto the pillow and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She never expected that her visit here would be like this. She would love to be able to think positive about this ride. That they would go into the woods and have a nice time talking and that they could laugh together, but from what she saw of him and the way he acted, she didn't really believe that this was possible at all.

Emma finally got out of bed a few moments later and got ready for the day. Before she could leave the room, she heard a knock, and Ruby came in with a tray in her hands. A smile was on her lips while she walked over and placed the tray on the table.

"Look what I got! I thought we'd have breakfast here. You know, lady talk," Ruby said with a smirk on her lips and sat down in one of the chairs. Emma did the same and reached forward to grab some bread.

"Killian wants to go on a ride with me today," she said, her voice rather low, and Ruby immediately knew that her friend wasn't very excited about that.

"And?"

"And I think it will be as bad as the dinner."

Ruby laughed and took a bite, swallowing it before she continued talking.

"I doubt that because at least he will be there on your date."

Emma groaned and shook her head.

"It's not a date, Ruby!"

No. No, it was not a date. They were just going out on a ride, nothing more. He wasn't romantic, he wouldn't go on a date with her. He was probably only doing this because his father told him to. She didn't even want a date with him.

"He would rather ride with me in the woods and drown me in a river."

Ruby snorted and shook her head with a giggle.

"I highly doubt that."

Emma grinned and took a bite from her bread.

"Well, it could be."

They laughed for a while before a knock interrupted them.

"Come in."

The women looked to the door and waited until a guard walked in. Well, not just a guard, and Emma could see how Ruby began to blush, and a smile came up on her lips.

"Princess Emma. Prince Killian wants you down at the stables."

The blonde groaned slightly and rolled her eyes. The hour wasn't over, and he was already putting pressure on her.

"Fine, tell him I'm coming."

Victor bit his bottom lip and coughed.

"He wants you there now."

She sighed and nodded, getting up from her chair as she ate the last bite of her bread.

"Alright, let me change into my riding clothes, and then I'll come with you."

As soon as he was outside, Emma ran her hand through her hair and looked to Ruby who was still smiling at the door.

"Ruby! I have a problem here, stop acting like a young, lovesick girl!"

"Ugh, sorry!"

Ruby got up and helped Emma with her clothes until she was ready.

"Well, if he thinks you're not hot in these tight riding clothes, something is really wrong with him," said Ruby with a giggle, and Emma smirked slightly while rolling her eyes.

"He would never tell me that. He probably won't even look at me."

"You will survive, honey."

Ruby hugged her before she left her room while Emma checked again if she had everything she needed.

After she was sure, she headed down to the stables, trying to remember the way. To her own surprise, it didn't take long until she was there, and she could already see the two horses outside. Killian was sitting on a hay bail, playing with an arrow in his hand. As much as she didn't like him, he kind of looked handsome while he sat there in his dark riding clothes playing with that arrow. Oh, god. Did she just think he was handsome?

When she walked closer to him, he finally looked up with nothing on his face. No smile, his lips were in a thin line, and there was only emptiness in his eyes.

"Ah, I see. The princess finally got out of bed. What a surprise."

She rolled her eyes and stroked one of the horses briefly before she looked to him.

"Well, it took me a while to recover from an unwanted guest," she said with an innocent but annoyed smile.

He laughed and got up, putting the arrow back into the quiver.

"Why the weapons?"

Emma frowned a little while she looked to the bow and arrow, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Don't think the woods are safe, love. There are dangerous things behind every corner."

She knew he was going to kill her down there! And Ruby didn't believe her! He could basically just shoot an arrow through her or really drown her or just tie her up and let her starve, and no one would know because their beloved prince wouldn't do such a thing! She was so screwed.

Emma didn't say anything and just walked around the horse to get up in one swift movement. She loved riding, and she missed her own horse she had at home.

"Keira," he said while he got on his own horse, a black one, probably as black as his soul.

"What?"

"The name of the horse. Keira."

"Oh."

She smiled slightly, patted the neck of the horse, and almost missed the fact that he had already started to ride. After a quick movement of her feet, her horse started to walk, following the black one in front of her. So that would be their ride? He would ride in front of her, not talking to her until he was able to kill her? Wonderful.

* * *

She had lost track of time but they were in the woods for too long. He barely talked to her, ignored her most of the time, and all the attempts to talk to him were suffocated by him. He didn't want to talk to her and mostly rode in front of her to avoid eye contact. The more time passed, the more pissed she became. He had no right to treat her like that - she didn't do anything wrong!

When his horse became slower and slower, she decided to just pass by him. She ignored his slightly confused look after she just kept riding, and after a few seconds, she heard how he was following her.

"What do you think you're doing?", he asked her while he was next to her.

"Oh, now you're talking to me? Don't like it when I don't follow your lead, hm?"

Yes, she was pissed, and no, she didn't want to do what he said anymore.

He growled and looked around before he looked back to her.

"We can't go any further."

She rolled her eyes and ignored him, just kept riding. It looked like the woods became slightly darker, more trees but also more wonderful flowers. She always loved nature, and she really liked the forest around here. She had seen a few animals earlier, rabbits and deers, and the birds were singing their songs. It made her smile. It could have been a good ride if he wasn't there.

As long as he was there, she felt this dangerous atmosphere that came from him, and she didn't feel safe.

"Emma. Stop."

His voice was low and kind of threatening, but she didn't even look at him. She just kept riding, trying to make a point that he had no right to treat her like a servant.

"Emma!" he literally yelled at her and had already stopped, but she didn't turn around at all.

She was smiling because it was satisfying that he was obviously annoyed by her right now. But she would learn that it was a mistake to ignore him like that.

Only seconds later, an arrow hit the tree right next to her, her face only inches away from it. The horse neighed and almost threw her off, but she was able to calm the animal down before she hit the ground. With a glare, she turned around and saw him there with his bow still in his hand.

"What the hell?! Are you trying to kill me?!" she yelled at him, and the birds stopped singing, some of them even left the trees. He put the bow back and rode towards her, grabbing her arm.

"We go back. Now."

There was something in his voice that she hadn't heard before, and she didn't like it. She looked at his hand before she jerked her arm back out of his grip.

Without another word, she turned her horse around and rode back the way they came from. Killian looked behind him where the forest became lighter and the nature was more green than usual. He gritted his teeth before he clapped the spurs to his horse and followed Emma back to the castle.

* * *

Emma jumped from her horse and tied it to the stake quickly before he could catch her, but of course, he was faster than she expected. He grabbed her arm and turned her around so she was facing him.

"What?" she said with a growl. She didn't want to be near him anymore.  
He almost shot her! With an arrow in the middle of the woods!

"Don't be like that now."

"Like what? Pissed because you almost shot me? You could have killed me!"

He laughed, and the anger boiled up in her even more. The thought of her being dead was obviously quite funny to him. She could feel how his grip tightened around her arm, and she grimaced in pain.

"You're hurting me."

"Oh, don't worry, I know. I just want you to understand something. If I had intended to kill you, the arrow wouldn't have missed you. I'm the best archer in the realm. Killing you would be easy, so you better learn to listen to me."

A dark and wolfish grin settled on his lips while he gripped her tighter again, and she closed her eyes in pain.  
Then he was gone. The grip was gone, and she took a breath, opened her eyes, and turned around so she could see him walking away. She clenched her hand into a fist, trying to calm down. Something was wrong with him; that couldn't be normal.

Emma shoved her sleeve up and saw the red handprints on her upper arm and hoped it wouldn't leave bruises. She had no desire to explain to someone where they came from. With a soft sigh, she followed him inside, just wanting to be alone for a moment, but a servant caught her attention. He literally ran in the direction of Killian and stopped him.

She frowned and her steps became faster until she was behind Killian. The servant looked to her, then back to the prince. She could see how tight he gripped his bow, his knuckles white.

"What's going on?" she asked, slightly worried.

The male servant went away, and Killian turned around, looking at her.

"An incident in the woods."

She rolled her eyes. He was just as specific as always. It wouldn't hurt him to tell her more.

"What kind of incident?"

Killian closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

"They found dead bodies of children with their hearts ripped out."


	3. Chapter 3

Emma widened her eyes in shock. Dead children without their hearts? In the middle of the woods? That was…no. Just no. It made her sick to her stomach to think about innocent children. Who would do such thing? She wanted to ask him if it was true, but the look on his face showed her everything. It was true.  
She bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath before she looked back at Killian.

"Who would do that? Why? I mean-"

Her breath got stuck in her throat when she saw the look on his face. Dark and dangerous, more than before. She didn't even want to know what he was thinking about because it couldn't be good. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She watched him closely.

"I don't know but I'll go and try to find out."

Emma nodded. At least he seemed to care enough about that. She saw how Victor and some other guards came up behind him. She was quite curious about what happened but dead children…she didn't know if she could handle it. She had seen a dead body, once, when she was younger. But a child was something different than a man who had wanted to attack her.

Killian just started walking, without another word, back to his horse. He literally jumped back on the horse and waited for the guards to get ready before she saw them riding back into the woods with the loud clopping of the horses playing them out.

She swallowed hard and shook her head, trying to get the pictures out of her mind before she headed back into the castle. She had to talk to Ruby or Tinkerbell. Maybe they knew more than she did.

* * *

Killian slowed his horse down and could smell the scent of death all around this place. He raised a hand to tell his guards to stop before he got down from his horse carefully, giving the reins to one of the guards and then taking his bow. He walked forward slowly, looking around as if someone was going to attack them at any moment.

Then, he could see them. All the bodies of children. All dead, none of them breathing, and they had their chests open. He walked closer and looked down to one kid. The face showed the pain, the chest was wide open, and he could see that no heart was in there. The blood was already dry. How long have they been here? How much time had passed by since someone murdered all of these innocent children?

He looked around and tried to count, but he stopped when he was at fifteen. He didn't want to know how many bodies were buried under others. His guards would count them later.  
The closer he walked to the center of the bodies, the more his breath stuck in his throat, and he needed to stop for a second, closing his eyes. His hand moved to his chest where his heart once was, and he fisted the material of his shirt, biting his bottom lip hard.

A pain was shooting through his body, and he had a problem standing straight, but he wouldn't show weakness in front of his men. It took a long second until he had control back. It wasn't supposed to hurt. There was nothing in his chest, and he hated that it hurt. He hated that the only thing he felt was pain and in moments like this, every breath hurt, and he always thought he was one second away from falling into madness. There was a reason that it hurt right now. He knew it. It was his fault.

"Count the bodies. Take them back to the castle somehow before their parents start to complain they never got a funeral for their brats."

His guards nodded and walked around the bodies while he sat down on a stone near them. It made sense, in a way. But why so many hearts? Why children? They could just have killed adults, people no one would miss. It would have been easier. But then again, it would spread the fear and fear was poison for a kingdom.

Killian growled and ran his hand through his air, stood up again, and walked around the bodies. His chest ached, and he wanted to scream. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible. He went toward Victor and was about to tell him he had the command now, but then he heard a noise. Rustling in one of the bushes.

In one swift movement, he took his bow and an arrow, aiming and frowning. Victor had also drawn his sword out, holding it up. After a few seconds, a little head looked out from the bush, and the prince lowered his weapon, putting the arrow back and hanging the bow over his shoulder.

"Killian!"

The little boy ran toward him, right into his arms. He threw his arms around his neck, and the man lifted him up carefully in case the boy was hurt.

"What are you doing here, Roland? Are you hurt?"

The dark-haired boy shook his head fast, and Killian let out a deep breath. At least he wasn't hurt. Had he been able to run away before the person who did this could hurt him? Was he supposed to be one of the victims?

"Do you know what happened here?"

Roland shook his head again, clinging to the prince like his life depended on it. He knew something. He had seen something. Killian knew the look in the eyes of the boy. A long time ago, he had seen this look of fear in the mirror.

"He took us. A hooded man. He didn't speak."

Killian could hear in his voice how afraid he still was. He walked back to the horse, placing the kid on the back of the animal, looking at him to check for injuries even if he had said he was fine.

"I ran…am I a coward, Killian?"

The prince smiled slightly and shook his head, tousling the hair of the kid, trying to calm him down.

"Sometimes it's better to run, especially at your age."

Roland started to smile and looked around to the guards and the dead children, and his smile faded as he started to look sad.

"Can you bring me to my Papa?"

Killian nodded. He would bring the boy to the castle and inform his father that he was found. The boy was apparently the only survivor of this massacre, and he was so glad that he hadn't to explain to his father why his boy was dead. It wouldn't be easy to explain to an old…'friend' that their son was dead.

"Victor! Take care of the situation. I'll bring Roland back to the castle."

The guard nodded and turned around, giving orders to the other men on how to deal with the bodies while Killian got back on his horse behind Roland.

"Hold on tight, lad. We're in a hurry."

* * *

Emma stood in the large throne room with Tinkerbell and Ruby, watching the overanxious people running around and talking loudly while they waited for the king. The rumor of dead children in the woods spread faster than she thought, and soon the parents of the missing kids had appeared. They wanted an audience, but Emma knew the king was still together with his council, debating about what they should do and what was true about all the rumors. She literally had heard everything from rituals to a serial killer, and she had no idea what she should believe.

"The prince is back!"

The loud voice of a farmer ripped her out of her thoughts. He stood at a window and looked outside. Emma and the other two girls went over to him, and she tilted her head slightly. He had a boy in his arms, but he didn't look wounded. The guards tried to calm the worried parents down while Emma watched Killian come inside.

A few minutes later, he appeared with the boy in his arms and came to them. He looked around while he put Roland down before he put his tongue against his cheek, growling.

"Where's the king?" he asked Tinkerbell, and she told him that he was with his council. Killian rolled his eyes and wanted to turn around, but Roland stopped him, the little hand holding his big one. The prince raised an eyebrow before he hunkered down and looked at the boy, letting go of the hand.

"Stay with the girls. I'll get your father. You're safe now, lad." With these words, he turned around and left them. Emma huffed slightly. He had ignored her again, but it should be fine in this extreme situation.

"Roland? I didn't know you and your father were here!" Tinkerbell pulled the little boy to her body and hugged him. You could see that he was still afraid, and it wasn't helping that he had all the nosy eyes on him, looking at him like he was some circus attraction.

Emma wanted to ask him how he had survived, but because of his state, she thought it would be better to leave him alone so he could calm down. But Killian had this boy by his side when he came back, so he had to be one of the kids. She swallowed slightly, and it looked like he was the only survivor. She felt sorry for all the other parents.

"Make some room for the king!"

The guard yelled through the room, and the people walked toward the walls, making space for Killian, the king, and some other guards. The room became silent. You could only hear some whispering, but no one wanted to disrespect the king.  
Emma raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. The king looked tired -his face was kind of pale, and he didn't look good. What had they talked about that made him look like this?

"Papa!"

Roland had turned around and ran toward one of the men she never saw. He broke the silence of the room with his one simple word that said so much. You could hear how happy he was to see his father, how happy he was to be reunited with him.

"Roland!"

He grabbed the boy, obviously his son, and took him into his arms, hugging him while the boy threw his arms around his neck, pressing himself close to him. Emma smiled softly. The man must have went through hell, thinking his son was dead.

"Killian saved me!" Roland said joyfully and Emma raised an eyebrow. She wouldn't have expected that this idiot of a prince had a soft side for kids. She looked around for him and saw that he had just walked around a corner. She apologized to Ruby and Tinkerbell and followed him. Even if he was a dick to her, he obviously had a heart for kids, and that was a plus. They needed to have kids some day, too, and no matter how much she loved children, she didn't want some of her own for a long time. Until she accepted that it was basically her fate. But with him…? She wasn't so sure if she liked that.

"Killian, wait!"

They were in a lonely hallway, far enough away from the throne room, when she was able to stop him. He growled and turned around, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow at her, his face hard and serious.

"What now?"

She stopped in front of him with a teasing smile on her face, and she could see how much it irritated him because she had probably never looked at him like that before.

"I never knew you had such a soft spot for kids," she said and chuckled briefly, watching his reaction. He huffed and shook his head.

"You're ridiculous. I don't have a soft spot for kids at all, love."

"Well the boy quite liked you."

"Because he grew up in the castle while his father taught me archery."

Emma frowned before she remembered when he told her that he was the best archer in the land. So the man she saw before had been his teacher. Well, she was obviously getting to know him, step by step. Baby steps. Very, very small steps but better than nothing.

"But you do care for him. You saved him."

He laughed and took a step toward her, invading her personal space with a wolfish grin on his face again. It made her swallow slightly, but she didn't back off this time.

"I don't care for anyone, lass. Only for myself."

She looked him in the eyes, she was good at knowing when someone lied, but he…he didn't show any signs of lying. So he was either a damn good liar or he really only cared for himself.

"That's sad."

Emma shook her head, and he raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then he just shook his head again, taking a step back like he wanted to turn around, but she grabbed his arm. His gaze fell on her hand, then back on her face.

"What happened out there?"

He gritted his teeth and looked away for a moment like he had to think about what he could tell her. She tilted her head and let go of his arm.

"Roland was the only one who had survived. All the other children are dead, maybe three dozen. The guards are still counting them. They'll bring them here to the castle for a funeral, even if I would prefer if we just could burn them instead of having crying parents around."

The prince shrugged and smirked before he turned around and left her.

He confused her. Sometimes it sounded like he cared, then he acted like he didn't, and he wasn't lying to her in that way. Sometimes he talked to her, sometimes he ignored her, sometimes he just left her. She had so many questions about who or what did this, but he was already gone, and she sighed. No one had treated her like that before, and it was hard to get used to it.

* * *

The castle had became quiet again after the sad and shocked families had left. They were devastated and Emma totally understood that. They just lost their kids, the thing they loved most in the world, and they didn't even know for what reason. The king didn't share the details with the hearts, he just told them they were murdered by an unknown person or group. She didn't want to imagine the pain the parents were in right now.

She wandered through the castle like every evening after dinner. It was quiet and not hectic. She really liked this state since she had no real place where she felt comfortable. Sure, she had her room, but it didn't feel like home, and Ruby was busy with Victor, walking through the garden, and she didn't want to interrupt them. Tinkerbell was out of the castle for the evening and would return later, so she was basically alone. And hell, she wouldn't go to Killian for some company.

Emma shook her head before she heard some yelling. She raised an eyebrow and recognized the voice. Killian. She followed the noises and stopped in front of the royal chambers where the king lived. She swallowed and wanted to keep going when Killian caught her attention once more.

"He's back!"

She heard something shatter, maybe a vase. It sounded a lot like glass. Gods, she should feel so bad about eavesdropping, but it sounded important, and he was so angry. But who did he mean? Who was back?

"He was in our territory! I don't want him here!"

She frowned and didn't really understand what the king was saying, but it sounded like he wanted to calm his son down before he broke more things. She pressed herself closer against the wall, hoping no guards would catch her, trying to hear more. She shouldn't do it, she really shouldn't - she was a princess, not a spy.

"I have to protect my land!"

Emma chuckled slightly, so much for not caring about things and only about himself. It seemed like he cared at least a bit about the people. He should, he would be their king one day, and they should like him before they start a revolution and kill him.

"You don't even care about it or the people!"

The angry voice of the king made her grin fade. She had never heard him like that. Then, she heard a laugh from Killian, but it was a bitter one, an angry one, not full of joy. Then he growled, and another thing shattered.

"But I do care about my power,  _father._ "

He literally spit the word 'father' out, and Emma swallowed. If he caught her now, she knew she would be in trouble. He was mad, really mad. She didn't need to see him to know that.  
Then she heard some mumbling - something about the burned wing of the castle. She took a deep breath and held it when she heard someone coming to the door with fast steps. With her back pressed against the cold brick wall, she waited. It was Killian, storming out of the room.

"I want guards there! I don't care if it looks important then, but double the guards!"

He yelled back at his father while he stormed off, and Emma frowned. What was so important about that burned wing that he would need guards there? She decided to follow him quietly. She waited until he walked around the corner and followed him. She had only been there for a brief period of time, but she knew the way he was walking. He walked right to the burned wing, and she thought about it more often lately. It was weird to her, and it never left her mind.

When she walked around a corner, he was gone, and the big black door fell into the lock. She cursed in her head and walked quickly toward it, trying to open it, but it was locked. Damn. Now, she was even more curious what was so special about this burned wing and what happened there. No one had given her an answer so far.

Emma bit her bottom lip and looked at the closed door before he smirked and turned on her heels. She walked right toward the room of Tinkerbell. She should be back by now, and if not, she would wait. Tink had to know what happened there.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma arrived at the door of her new friend and knocked a few times, waiting for a simple 'come in' before she opened the door and walked inside. She looked around a little - the room was similiar to hers just more…comfortable. It looked more like a home than hers, but it was no surprise since Tink had lived there for quite a while now. When she spotted the blonde woman, she smiled and walked over to her, sitting down in the chair next to her.

"Emma! What can I do for you?"

She smiled slightly; Tink was probably the only person, besides the servants, who was nice to her here. Well, and Ruby, of course. But Killian wasn't very nice or gentleman like, and she barely saw the king. The guards didn't talk with her, and the servants only said something because it was their job. Ruby spent time with Victor, and she was sure that both of them already had a thing. Lucky her.

"I…well, I have a question."

Tink raised an eyebrow and turned her chair around so that she could look at Emma with a smirk.

"Of course! Ask me anything you want."

Emma laughed a little because she seemed to be excited. She scratched her neck for a moment and thought about what she could say.

"It's about the burned wing of the castle with the big black door that seems to be locked all the time. What happened there? Why is it locked?"

From one second to then next, Tinkerbell's face changed, and she looked down at her lap for a moment before she raised her gaze again. She ran her hand over her face, and Emma watched her closely, not quite sure if it was so smart to ask the question.

"You don't have to answer!" Emma added quickly, afraid that she could have made Tink feel uncomfortable with her question, and she didn't want that.

"No, it's fine. It's just something we normally don't talk about because it's a tragedy."

Tink shrugged, and Emma tilted her head. A tragedy? What kind of a tragedy? She didn't want to ask, not sure if her friend would tell her something about it or not, but when the other woman shifted, Emma knew she was going to get her answers.

"It's been a few years ago, I think…maybe six? I'm not sure anymore. It was in the middle of the night when the fire started in the queen's room. No one noticed at first, so it spread very fast, and in the end, the whole wing burned down before they could stop the fire. The queen and a few servants died, and people say it was a spy from the crown's enemies who set up the fire. No one ever enters that part of the castle since the fire, not really."

Tink's voice was kind of quiet while she spoke, and she sounded sad, looking to the ground a few times. Emma listened to her, and the more she heard, the more she widened her eyes. Is that why Killian went there? Because his mother died in there? So maybe he talked to her now and then when no one was around, when he felt safe? Maybe he was only able to let his walls down then? It would at least mean that he was just broken and not mean.  
Emma smiled sadly before she bit her bottom lip.

"Is that the reason why Killian is how he is? Because his mother died in there?"

Tinkerbell raised an eyebrow and shook her head a few times with a wry smile on her face.

"She wasn't his mother, she was the new wife of the king. Killian's mother died when he was a young boy," she told her and ran her hand through her hair, trying to avoid Emma's look.

The princess frowned and sighed. She figured that Killian was probably just a broken man who grew up without a mother most of his life and lost his second one after the king married again. But that didn't make it easier. How could she be mad at him now when he would just be rude to her again? She felt bad for him right now. She never lost someone like that. Not one of her loved one's died, and she couldn't imagine how horrible it had to be for him.

"But why are you asking?"

She heard Tink's voice and raised her head again, pushing her thoughts aside. Why was she asking? What should she tell her now? Emma sighed and shook her head slightly, biting her bottom lip. She felt bad for spying on him and for eavesdropping, for asking another person what was going on.

"It's just that…well, I saw Killian going in there, and it made no sense."

Tinkerbell frowned and gritted her teeth slightly, biting the inside of her cheek before she shrugged. Obviously, she didn't have an answer either.

"I really don't know why he would do that, but stay away from him. He doesn't like it when you try to spy on him," she said with a soft laugh and got up from her chair, walking to the door. Emma followed her. Both women knew the conversation was over.

"Thank you, Tink."

"No problem."

Both smiled before Emma left the room and walked toward her own. She knew she should probably get some sleep, but she was even more curious about what Killian was doing in that burned wing.

* * *

She couldn't sleep. She still had her clothes on because she couldn't stop thinking about what Tinkerbell told her and what she heard from Killian and the king. While she lay on her bed, everything went through her head again. The fire, the request for more guards in front of the door even when there was supposed to be nothing. Why did he go there? What was so special about a burned wing if no one entered it after it had burned down?

Emma closed her eyes and sighed heavily. Damn her, she needed to know. It was in the middle of the night, the full moon was up and shone into her room, the sky was literally awake, and she couldn't sleep. Everyone in the castle was probably asleep except for the guards, and on her way back, none of them were in front of the burned door. She needed to know.

After a few moments, she got up and fumbled with her dress before she made her way outside and down the hall to the door. On her way she looked around to make sure no one was there. She didn't want anyone to see her sneaking around the castle in the middle of the night. She was way too nosy, and she knew it, but how was she supposed to live here and marry Killian when she had no idea what was going on? She was suspucious of many things since she was a kid, she barely trusted anyone. It did get better, of course, but sometimes, her gut told her not to leave a thing alone until she knew what was going on. And this right now was such a 'thing'. She didn't trust Killian anyway, and now that he was acting so weird, she wasn't going to be able to sleep peacefully.

She walked down the empty hallway until she could see the door to the burned wing. She stepped closer and swallowed, grabbing the door handle, she tried to open it and…it wasn't locked. Emma frowned and bit her bottom lip before she walked through the door. The last time Killian was inside of here it was locked. Did this mean he wasn't here? Did he just forget to lock it up again? She had to be careful if she wanted to figure out what was going on in there.

As soon as she walked a few steps, she could smell the scent of burned wood. Dust was everywhere, some doors were broken and open, but nothing was inside. Grime covered the ground and spiders had put their cobwebs in all the corners. A shiver ran through her body; it was such a strange place and didn't compare to the rest of the castle. She actually loved this place - the castle was an impressive building and the garden was wonderful, but this here? No, this didn't fit.

A crack behind her had her jerking around, but nothing was there. She let out a deep breath before she continuing to walk slowly and in silence until she stopped in front of the last door. It wasn't burned or broken, not like all the others. She tried to look out of the window, but the dust and grime made it impossible, and she wasn't very keen on rubbing her dress against the glass to see something.

She shouldn't be here, she knew that. She should be in her bed, sleeping and not thinking about this part of the castle, but she couldn't help it. Gods, she felt like she was betraying someone, but maybe she would figure out why he was the way he was. Why he acted like that, why he talked like that. Maybe someone had broken his heart before and that's why he had his walls up? She knew the feeling, and that why she wouldn't be surprised.

The princess took a deep breath and opened the door, afraid of what might await her, but as soon as the door was open she frowned. The room was completely fine, no burned furniture. It seemed to be untouched by the fire. The brightness of the full moon shone into the room and illuminated it so she could see everything. Only a little bit of dust here and there on the things in the room, but besides that, it seemed to be fine. How was that even possible? Tink told her the whole wing burned down, and now she found a room where the furniture was still there, where the door wasn't burned, and where it looked like someone had been inside?

Someone meaning Killian. She swallowed. What would he do in here? It's not like he hadn't his own room that was probably way more comfortable than this one. It was kind of a big room with a bed, chairs, a table, and a few other things around. It almost looked like someone would be able to live in there if not for the dust.

She walked farther into the room and looked around until she found some old paintings leaned against a wall. She squatted down and took one of them in her hands. She was able to see the king and two boys. One had slightly curly hair, and the other one reminded her of Killian in a way, but they all looked similiar to each other. Did he have a brother? But if yes, why hadn't she met him? Or was he-

Another painting caught her attention, and she put the one in her hands back. The other one was larger and had a woman on it. She looked beautiful. Long brown hair and blue eyes, a smile on her face, and a crown on her head. Was this the queen? The first one? She looked a lot like Killian, actually. So maybe this was his mother, and because she died, they put her painting inside of here, trying to forget the painful memories? But that didn't explain what happened to his brother.

She really hated it when she didn't know what was going on. It drove her crazy. With a huff, she stood up again and walked over to the bookshelf. While she read the books that were there, she noticed that there was no dust in some places, like someone had removed the books. What the hell was Killian doing in here with old books? Probably just being creepy and mysterious because there was nothing else in this room. It was just an old room with a few old paintings as a reminder of the past. She sighed and was about to turn around when another door caught her attention. Had it been there before?

Emma shook her head and walked toward it. Some people wouldn't notice it because it was kind of hidden behind the shelf. She had been able to see it because the moonlight shone directly on the doorknob, and the sparkle had caught her attention. She looked at the door, not quite sure what she should think about it. A hidden door. In a room that was in a burned wing. Sounded great, eh? But she couldn't stop herself and reached forward. She had to know.

Her hand touched the cold doorknob. She was about to turn it to open the door, but something stopped her. Cold steal on her throat, a presence behind her. She swallowed hard and could feel the sharp blade on her skin. Another body was right behind her, and she held her breath, didn't dare to breathe or to turn her head. She let her hand sink down again and bit her bottom lip. The heavy breathing behind her wasn't very calming either. Did someone see her come inside? Did he follow her? Her gut told her it was a man, and she should be right about it.

"You shouldn't be here, princess," said a deep and dark voice right behind her. She swallowed.  
Killian? Her eyes widened, and she felt him creep closer, pressing his body against hers from behind, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her against him, his blade still on her throat. Why would he do that? Did he follow her, or had he been here before?

"What are you doing?"

She stopped when he pressed the blade further into her skin, not breaking it, not yet. What was he doing? Gods, she made a mistake. She should never have come here. Would he really hurt her? Too many questions right now. She needed to concentrate on the fact that he was pressing a damn knife against her throat. One wrong movement, and he could kill her.

"Shhh, princess. I don't want to hurt your pretty skin or your pretty face."

He removed the dagger from her throat and ran it across her face, nuzzling his nose against her hair. She wanted to scream or tell him to stop, but she had a huge lump in her throat. She shivered when he ran the blade back to her neck, pressing it against her skin even more this time.

"Afraid?"

Killian was playing with her, and she knew it. She just didn't know why he liked to play with her like that. Maybe it was his generel attitude because she really couldn't remember ever doing anything to him.

"No."

She wouldn't let him win this stupid game, but she also wouldn't play it. Of course, she was kind of afraid. She barely knew him, and she didn't know what he could do to her, and right now he had a knife pressed against her throat. A broken man could do a lot, she knew that. Broken people tended to be rude sometimes, and some people became killers when their loved ones died.

"You know, love, I'm really curious. Why are you in here? What did you hope to find?"

His voice was rough and husky right next to her ear now, and another shiver ran through her body, goosebumps raising on her skin. No matter how much she disliked him, his voice had something…special. It was deep and rough, a slight accent, and under other circumstances, it would probably be hot.

"I…I don't know."

Every time she spoke her larynx ran over the sharp blade, and she was afraid that at any second she could make a wrong move and would cut herself.  
She heard him laughing behind her and felt how he shook his head, pressing himself more against her, running his hand down her stomach.

"Some doors are supposed to stay closed, love. And more importantly, some doors should never be re-opened."

Killian took the dagger away and ran his hand up her body to her neck, closing his hand around it and lifting her chin up. She couldn't stop herself from swallowing, and he started to laugh again.

"So you  _are_  afraid, my love."

Gods, she wanted to tell him she was not his love, darling, or anything like that, but right now, as long as he had the knife still close to her, it wasn't smart. He lowered his head and pressed a kiss on the skin of her shoulder before he turned her around, pressing the tip of the dagger under her chin so she was looking up at him. She felt a brief pain, but she wasn't bleeding, not yet, but speaking was no option anymore now.

Emma would have swallowed if she could because she saw nothing human in his eyes. They were dark, dull, and dangerous, and she probably should be afraid. She really should, but she kept telling herself he couldn't kill her or do anything to her because he had to marry her. It was the agreement - they had to marry each other, otherwise both kingdoms wouldn't survive the upcoming war. The ogres were already close, and they still had no idea what was rising in the west since no one was able to break the magic barrier or even wanted to go close to it.

He slid the blade down her throat to her cleavage, but his gaze was fixed on her eyes. His hand was on her hip, her body close to his. After a few moments, he rolled his hips slightly forward, and damn her, her body responded. No, no this was bad. This was so bad, and the smirk on his lips didn't make it better. He knew. Or well, no, he didn't because there was nothing to know. She admitted he was attractive but nothing more.

"You shouldn't be in here, princess."

He licked his lips and raised an eyebrow while a dark and wolfish grin settled on his lips. She was in trouble, in so much trouble. He took a step forward, she took a step back. They played this game until her back hit the door she had found, and he stood right in front of her, tilting his head, sliding the dagger up to her neck again.

"I was really curious how long you would need until you came in here. I thought you would at least take a few days, thinking about the possibility that I might have noticed you while you followed me, but obviously this wasn't an option."

Her eyes widened while he spoke. He knew that she had followed him? Gods she wanted to scream; she felt so stupid. She had never seen anyone around, and now he told her he had known. Asshole.

"And running off to Tink wasn't a smart idea, sweetheart. Did you really think I wouldn't know?"

"Did she…tell you?" She blinked at him and was kind of relieved when he shook his head. She had thought for a second that Tink had betrayed her. She was her friend, and it would hurt to know she couldn't trust her.

"I have eyes and ears everywhere in this castle, love. Too bad she wasn't able to tell you the truth."

She could see how much he enjoyed this. The blade pressed against the side of her neck now, could still kill her if he wanted to. She really didn't know if she should be afraid or if he just wanted to play because he was bored. But what was he even talking about? Not the truth?

Emma bit her bottom lip and swallowed, feeling the blade against her skin even more before she looked to the ground for a few seconds, then back into his dark eyes.

"What do you mean with the truth?"

He chuckled darkly and slid the knife up to her cheek before he cut her. She hissed in pain and felt the warm blood running down her cheek. Bastard. But as long as he held the dagger close to her, it wouldn't be a smart move to insult him. She just took a few deep breaths, and it seemed to amuse him.

"You're a brave girl, love. I like that, but are you sure you can handle the truth?"

She was about to snort but held it back. Smug asshole, of course she would be able to handle the truth. That was at least what she wanted to show him. It was like with dogs. If you show them you are afraid, they would notice it and use it to their advantage. Right now, she felt like Killian wouldn't be different. He was probably some kind of sadistic asshole that had fun making people cry or scaring them, and yes, she was afraid, kind of, but she wouldn't show it. She would be a queen one day, a strong and independent queen.  
So she just raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him with just one look, and his wolfish grin got even wider.

"I did it. I set up the fire and killed all those people."


	5. Chapter 5

Emma swallowed hard, needing a moment to realize what he just said. He had set up the fire? He killed all these people? His own step mother? His own brother? That was disgusting. She was afraid to ask why he did it. Afraid to ask what would happen now that he told her because she doubted that anyone else knew about this. Maybe the king, but probably not. But she needed to know. She needed to know why this man did what he did because at the end of the day, she had to marry him, probably sooner rather than later, and she couldn't live a life with lies.

She was about to say something when he took a step back and walked toward the desk, grabbing a chair and putting it in the middle of the room before he sat down, playing with the dagger in his hand. He had an amused look on his face while she stood there close to the door, like her feet were frozen to the ground. She didn't want to move, but she wanted to get away from him. She didn't even want answers from him, not now.

"What? I thought you weren't afraid of me, love? I told you that you're not able to handle the truth."

He chuckled darkly and licked his lips, something dangerous in his eyes while the wolfish grin was still present. She bit her bottom lip and snorted; she wasn't afraid. Maybe it would become true if she told it herself over and over again. She had never met someone like him. Someone so cold-hearted but mysterious and interesting at the same time. Gods, what was wrong with her? She thought he was interesting after he told her that he killed a bunch of people?

"I handle it quite well, thank you."

Killian just raised an eyebrow before laughing when he saw that she was looking at the door. Damn him. Of course he had to see that she was trying to figure out how she could away from him as fast as possible. Even if there was something that told her to stay and to listen to him, most of her told her to leave right away.

"Don't even think about it. It's locked," he said with a smirk on his face before he reached into the pocket of his long red coat and pulled a key out. "I locked it. Don't want you to get out before we talked about everything." He winked, and she growled, biting her bottom lip hard.

"What else is there to talk about? You're a monster and a murderer," she said with a shrug like she didn't care at all. She saw how he gritted his teeth. Weak spot? Maybe.

"I'm not a murderer."

Emma laughed before she walking toward him while he still sat on that chair. She wasn't afraid. She wouldn't show her fear. He was just a man with a dagger, nothing else. No magic, no powers, just a man. She was about to say something, but he was faster than her.

"I quite like the few. How about you get rid of your dress? Or should I help you?"

She blinked a few times, but when she saw the smug grin on his face, she closed her eyes and shook her head. Disgusting. Just disgusting. He had touched her enough for weeks. She didn't want his touch, didn't want to feel his fingers on her skin, but damn, she still felt his hand on her body. Somehow.

"Only in your dreams."

He chuckled. It was still just fun for him. But what was she supposed to do now? She couldn't get out, and attacking was no option. She was literally stuck in there with him, and she hated it. And him. The whole situation was totally messed up. A few hours ago, he completely ignored her, and now he was like…this. Maybe he changes his attitude at night and becomes another man. Who knew. This was a strange place, she knew it since they had arrived, and it already felt like she had spent too much time in this place.

"Just let me out. I won't tell anyone," she said in a whisper, knowing that it was a weak try to get out and away from him. The young princess swallowed slightly and tried to avoid his gaze when she walked over and sat down on the bed, hoping he wouldn't follow her, and he just kept sitting there in his chair.

"Do you really think I would care about if you tell anyone? No one will believe you anyway," he told her with a grin before he took his chair and walked toward her, sitting down right in front of her, licking his lips and playing with the dagger in his hands. It surprised her that he hadn't cut himself yet.

"You know, I had a good reason to kill them."

She frowned and shook her head. That was wrong. There is never a good reason to kill innocent people, and she doubted that a servant or his step-mother could have done something bad to him.

"There's never a good reason to kill anyone. It's always wrong."

And then he started laughing. A deep and loud laugh but not full of joy. Just dark and evil. Yes, that's what he was. Evil. A sadistic, evil bastard who liked to play games. She wasn't quite sure what exactly he played or why, but all she could think of was that he wanted to push her to a breaking point so she would be willing to do whatever he wanted. So that he could be the king he wanted with two kingdoms to reign over, and she would be his queen, just nodding and agreeing to everything, but no. Not with her.

"Actually, no. You've obviously never killed someone. You don't know what it feels like when the adrenaline rushes through your body as soon as you have blood on your hands. You should try it from time to time. It gives you a feeling of being alive."

He dared to tell her this with a grin on his face while he wiggled his eyebrows. Her gaze dropped to the dagger in his hands, then back to his face. The prince was a murderer, and he would probably get away with everything. This wasn't good at all.

"But I didn't kill them for the feeling. It's hard to feel much these times," he told her with a shrug before he looked around the room, then back to her. "The queen, the new queen. I didn't like her. The king used her to replace my mother. I was fine with it, for a while. Then she got pregnant. Wanted to use the room here for her new child, the room of my dead brother. The king was okay with it. Couldn't stand the thought, so I burned them."

He shrugged again like he didn't care at all, and she could see in his eyes that he really didn't. All these lives he took, it was his fault, and he didn't seem to feel guilty or sorry or anything. She swallowed while he dug the tip of the knife into the armrest of the chair.

"Your brother didn't die in the fire?" she asked and tilted her head slightly.

"No."

She could take from his tone that she wouldn't get more answers on that topic, no matter if she would ask now or not. So this was indeed the room of his brother, and he burned all these people because he was…jealous of an unborn child? Did he see a threat in the child? Emma looked away from him. This was disgusting. She should leave court as soon as possible, but she knew she couldn't. At least he had told her the truth. Even if it was a gruesome truth, it was better than a lie.

Then she felt the dagger on her cheek, and he turned her head back so she was looking him in the eyes again. Deep blue but dull. They could be beautiful if they were bright. She swallowed again when he leaned forward, one hand on her thigh.

"We should go," he told her in a husky voice. She frowned and leaned back. He was too close in her opinion.

"Go where?"

"Well, back to our rooms. It's late, and you look like you have to think about something, and you should get some sleep."

She didn't trust him. He just told her that it was his fault that people died in the burned wing, and now he let her go? Just like that? He got up and walked toward the door, but she stayed on the bed for a moment, and he turned around to look at her, waiting for her.

"So you were jealous of an unborn child?"

Emma got up and walked toward him, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms in front of her chest. She wasn't afraid of him or his dagger or what he could do to her. He wouldn't. She saw how he gritted his teeth when he unlocked the door and didn't look at her for a moment before he turned around to face her.

"I'm quite sure you can understand that, darling."

He tried to hide his anger behind a smug grin, and she frowned, watching him open the door, and tried to figure out how to get past him, but he blocked the way with his body.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, do you really think you're just here to marry me? Looks like your parents didn't tell you they're expecting a new child. They're replacing you. With this marriage, they're getting rid of you. They don't want you back," he said with a shrug before he walked out of the door.

Emma just stood there, eyes wide with shock. He was lying. It was a lie. Her parents would have told her if they were expecting a child. They loved her - there was no way they would do that. She took a big step forward, grabbing his upper arm tight and pulling him back.

"That's not true!" she said, almost like she was panicking. He just looked to her, then to her hand, and back to her, and when she saw his look, she let go of him arm, swallowing hard. "You can't know this," she added in a whisper, looking down and feeling the tears gather in her eyes. The thought that her parents abandoned her hurt her. They couldn't do this. Not again.

"You might call me a murderer and a bastard, you might curse me in your mind, and you might be right with all of this, but I'm not a liar," he said, almost quiet, and when she looked up again she looked right into his eyes, and she knew. She knew he wasn't lying, and it hurt her.

"How do you know about this? That my…my mother is pregnant again?"

She swallowed and try to hold his gaze, but this time he was the one looking away from her, down the burned hallway. It took several moments before he finally answered, still not looking at her.

"I just know. That's what I do as a prince. It's politics. I have to know such things."

Emma bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath, gritting her teeth. If he was right, and her mother was really pregnant, then he might be right about them getting rid of her, at least for a while. She took a few deep breaths, trying to stay calm, trying not to be weak in front of him.

"Why did you tell me?"

He looked back at her and frowned. She saw the confusion on his face, then he just shrugged.

"To show you that it's not as bad here as you might think. This is your home now, and you should get used to it without sneaking around. You can't go back to your kingdom, so don't even try to tell the truth about the burned wing." His voice was dark and full of warning, and she had no desire to tell anyone when he looked at her like he would love to cut her throat with that knife.

"If I'm not supposed to tell anyone that story, why did you tell me in the first place?"

She didn't understand the point of telling her. He could have kept it a secret for the rest of their lives. No one would ever know what he did to the poor souls who died in here, but yet, he had told her. Killian just shrugged and turned around, walking down the hallway.

The princess huffed and shook her head. He was an arrogant bastard, but she preferred the truth. He was honest with her, and that was a start, right? But if he had told her this secrets and had secrets like that, what else was in his past? For her, it was like he was able to do anything he wanted to, and she followed him anyway.

* * *

They walked back into the hallway and toward their rooms, not talking to each other. He walked behind her, and she could feel his eyes on her back, making her cringe inside. She should freak out now that she knew what he did. She should tell someone, should do something, but she couldn't. She was close to a murderer, and she had no idea what to do just because he was the prince. Her future husband. Her family and her kingdom needed him and this marriage - without it they would lose the war. For now, they could hold the ogres away from the border, but they would need the strength of his kingdom to defeat them.

Emma yawned and opened the door to her room, thinking that he would just go away and to his chambers, not bothering her anymore, but of course he wouldn't leave her.

She just had slipped into her room and wanted to close the door behind her when she felt his hand against it. She raised an eyebrow and frowned, looking up at him. "What?" she asked him and sounded quite pissed.

"Do you think I'll just leave you now, princess?" He chuckled and shook his head, moving into her room and taking the key out of her lock, playing with it in his hands.

"Well, you're definitely not staying here, so I would prefer if you would leave me now." She growled slightly, and he looked at her with a pout, almost like a little boy, and it could have been cute if he wouldn't be like…like…damn, it was actually quite cute. Gods, she hated herself for thinking this man, this ruthless prince and murderer, was cute.

He just shook his head and closed the door behind him, leaning against it while watching her without saying anything for quite a while. Well, okay. She could play this game too, so she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him. Both said nothing for a couple of minutes until he finally laughed.

"Alright then. But don't try to get out, there won't be a way." Emma frowned and gave him an 'are you serious?' look until he held up the key to her room. He had to be shitting her. "Oh, sure because you have the right to lock me up and all." She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, but he didn't change his face. He was serious about this, and now he wasn't cute at all anymore.

"You have to be kidding me…" She shook her head and turned around, walking toward her window and looking out into the night. Footsteps told her he was following her, and when she turned around, he was right behind her.

"Is that how our relationship will be? You do with me what you want? Do what pleases you? That's not going to work." Emma shook her head and held her hand out when she noticed that he was trying to get closer, but he just took it into his hand and took the last step so he was right in front of her. Out of reflex, she took a step back, and the wall was behind her. Again. Why did they always end up like this? This wasn't fair, and she was probably cursed or something.

He chuckled darkly and closed the gap between them, invading her personal space so much that it was disgusting and hot at the same time, because damn, she couldn't deny that he had something that made him interesting even if she should be afraid of him. She couldn't. She couldn't explain it, she couldn't name it, but it was there, between them. "Oh, love. I'm not going to do with you what I want and what pleases me because that would end in another way. I'm just trying to keep you safe. It would be a shame if you got hurt."

She felt his hot breath on her skin, and she swallowed slightly, licking her lips while she was looking at him, holding his gaze because she wasn't afraid. "To keep me safe? You're talking shit. I'm safe and I won't get hurt!" she said, raising her voice without noticing.

"Oh, but you will if you try to open doors that aren't supposed to be open!"

He literally growled at her and gritted his teeth, glaring at her. He was mad, mad at her, and she could see the danger in his eyes. His emotions and his behavior could change so fast and yes, that was maybe a little scary, but she wouldn't show him.

She knew she should get out of there or get him out of there as soon as possible, but it didn't look like he would change his mind about locking her up. Her own future husband, locking her up like an animal. Gods, that thought made her sick.

"Screw you."

Killian raised an eyebrow at her harsh response, and a wolfish grin settled on his lips. Was he turned on now or what? Damn, she hated it. Hated him and his way of being too close to her all the time and she couldn't do anything against it because he would be the future king. If she screwed it up, her kingdom would go down, and she might start a war with his kingdom and no. That wasn't an option. But she wouldn't take any shit from him either.

"Ah, you know, I would rather screw you, my dear princess."

The prince licked his lips and bit down on them while he looked down her body, then back to her eyes, wiggling his eyebrows. She took a deep breath before she shook her head.

"Don't you dare touch me." Her voice was low and calm, but inside she was angry at him.

He laughed and leaned forward, his face only inches away from her.

"Sweetheart, do you really think your weak protest would stop me? I know how to read a woman, and I know that you want me. Your body is telling me." She would love to slap that smug grin away from his face, but she knew he would only get more angry at her. She closed her eyes for a second, tried to focus, but froze when she felt his cold hand on her cheek, running his fingers down her soft skin slowly. She swallowed.

"Afraid?" He spoke those words against her lips. She could feel his soft skin, and she shivered slightly. She shouldn't like it, shouldn't be interested about how his lips would feel against hers, she should hate it because this was so wrong, so damn wrong. She didn't want to admit that she was attracted to him in some weird way that was not possible, a way she couldn't explain. He was a bastard, an asshole, he played with women, he was gruesome, he didn't care about others and yet, she was still here, didn't push him away. "No."

He smirked more and leaned closer, placing his lips on her. Emma closed her eyes again, feeling a warmth pooling in her stomach and only for a second she responded to the kiss because she couldn't control her body.

Only a moment later, she pushed him back and heard the echo of a slap. She had slapped him right across his handsome face. He looked away from her, but she could see the handprint on his cheek. Crap.

Her chest rose and sank heavily, and she saw how he started to shiver. She had no idea what would happen now, and he was already too close to get away.

"I-" She wasn't able to finish her sentence because he looked at her again with pure darkness in his eyes. His grip closed around her neck, and he pushed her into the wall behind him. She hissed and whimpered, laying her hands around his wrist but he was holding her tight, and there was nothing she could do about it…

"Don't do that again. You won't like what might happen if you do." His voice was a deep growl, and she saw how hard he had to fight to control himself, like he didn't even want what he was doing, like he had no choice, and this right now scared her more than the fact that he was a killer because a man who wasn't able to control his body and his actions was terrifying.

The grip tightened for a brief moment, and in the next second she heard the door falling shut loudly, heard it lock. He went out and he had really locked her up. She was alone. Her whole body trembled, and she sank to the ground, covering her face with her hands when the tears started to run down her face.

* * *

Killian closed the door of his room behind him and leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths. He swallowed and ran his hand over his face before he walked toward his desk. He took a bottle of rum and gulped it down, calming himself. His chest hurt, his empty chest. It was driving him insane, and this girl didn't make it better.

It had been a mistake to agree to that marriage. It was a mistake to keep her around. He sat down on his chair, waiting for Victor. He had met him on his way back here and asked him for a request.

After another sip, he shrugged his coat off, sat there only in a white shirt while he waited. He ran his hand over his chest, feeling no heartbeat. One. Two. Three. He counted the seconds before he pressed his eyes closed and threw the bottle of rum against the door, listening to the shattering of broken glass. He had to calm down, right now, or he would do something stupid.

He looked down to his hand, saw how much he was trembling, and he tried to take some deep breaths. A knocking at the door pulled him back into reality, and he frowned, counting again before he got up.

"Aye, come in."

He leaned against his desk and looked towards the door, watching Victor come in. "She's here."

Killian nodded and waved his hand, telling his guard and kind of friend to bring her in. She walked into his room with a confused look on her face, but he just smirked.

"Hello, Ruby. I'm glad you came. Go ahead, get yourself comfortable. We need to…talk."


	6. Chapter 6

Killian nodded toward a chair in the corner, and Ruby obeyed, sitting down tentatively. He noticed that she didn't feel comfortable in her own skin, but he couldn't care less about the way she tugged at the sleeves of her dress or how she pressed her legs together. He poured some more rum into his glass before he leaned against his dark, oak desk - just watching her for a long moment before he cleared his throat.

"How are you enjoying the castle, Mylady?" His voice was soft - almost cordial - and a small smile played at his lips.

Her eyebrow raised slightly; she probably didn't expect him to be like this since he wasn't very nice during their first meetings, and he had mostly ignored her all the other times they met.

"It's amazing. I'm glad to be here, your highness."

He chuckled and took a sip, knowing that she was just trying to be polite to her future king and that her words meant nothing. The girls did enjoy their time, but he could see that she would prefer it to be at home. In her eyes was the same look that princess Emma's displayed. The look of a homesick child. Hollow and sad. He gritted his teeth before he took another sip and nodded in her direction.

"Get up and turn around."

She frowned but did as he told her; she had to since he was the prince, and it was kind of amusing to him that she didn't even ask why. He watched as the folds of her red dress swayed gently as she turned around slowly, and he licked his lips with a smirk.

"May I ask why I'm here?"

Killian chuckled and put his glass down, taking a step closer and turning her face to him with a wolfish grin on his lips.

"Why do you think, love?"

She swallowed, and he had to hold back a laugh. If he was honest, he had never expected her to be like this. This lady did not appear to be one who was usually shy or reserved with words, but now she was nothing but his prey - didn't even dare to answer him.

He turned around again and stroked his stubble for a moment before he just shrugged.

"I want you to watch over Emma for me," he replied flatly. When he saw the perplexed look in her eyes, he just groaned and took a deep breath, not very keen on telling her everything that was on his mind.

"I will be leaving the castle for a few days, and I want you to watch over the princess. As soon as I'm back, you will tell me everything, every small detail that happened. What she does, who she talks to, where she takes her meals…"

Ruby snorted and shook her head while he just rolled his eyes. Of course she wouldn't agree at first, he knew this. In fact, he had bargained on it.

"She's my friend, that's betrayal." She turned her head away, arms rising to fold over her chest. A weak defense in his opinion.

"And I'm your future king, so you will do whatever I ask of you," he snarled, raising a challenging eyebrow while he bit down on his bottom lip. In one swift movement, he stood in front of her, holding her chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing her to look at him. "It would be a shame if your secret lover were to get hurt, eh?"

She widened her eyes in shock and swallowed hard, wanting to turn her face, but he didn't let her. He was holding her so tight that it almost hurt. A sadistic grin crept on his lips while his face was only inches away from hers. He knew he was invading her personal space, but he couldn't care less right now. He could almost hear the pounding of her heart as his breath washed over her face.

"I can make his life a living hell just like yours. I can take you right here on this bed, screw you over and over again, and make him listen, maybe make him watch how I ravish the woman he pines for. Maybe I'll find a reason to behead him, who knows." He pinched his fingers tighter and tilted her chin so he could stare into her eyes with a devilish grin playing on his lips. "So you, my lady, can either let him suffer, knowing that everything that happens to him is your fault, or do what I say." His voice was husky and close to her ear. He could feel the goosebumps on her skin, and he enjoyed it way too much. Maybe he would fuck her one day. Just to hurt the little princess.

Ruby took a deep breath before shaking her head, and he frowned, slightly confused by her reaction.

"You won't hurt him. He's your friend." Killian blinked for a moment, and then pulled back some more before he started to laugh at her words, shaking his head a few times.

"I have no friends, love. I don't care about people." He leaned closer again, his lips close to hers.

It looked like she needed a moment to think. He could almost see the thoughts running through her mind. Would she risk it to lose her lover? There was no question that Killian knew what was going on. He had his eyes and ears all over the castle, and even Victor himself told him that he fancied this young lady in the red dress. He understood why. She was pretty -with full lips and pert breasts. Maybe she would be fit for a mistress, but he would decide that later.

Then he saw her finally nod, and he smirked before turning around and walking back to the desk, grabbing his glass again and taking a sip.

"You can go now, or stay for the night. Whatever you prefer."

He saw how annoyed and mad she was, how she bit her bottom lip, but he didn't care. She was about to open the door when he cleared his throat again. She turned around to face him, raising an eyebrow as a silent question that caused him to smirk wider.

"I don't think I need to tell you this is our little secret?" The way he spoke made the words sound so sordid and dirty, and he enjoyed the way she shuddered slightly. She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"Of course not, your highness." After these words, she gave a quick curtsey and left the room. He could only laugh at the way she slammed the door shut, imagining all her anger after this conversation.

* * *

Emma had been slightly confused at the fact that her door was open in the morning after he had locked her up the night before. For a moment, she had thought that everything had been a dream, but after a quick look into the mirror, she knew everything had been real. The little scratch on her cheek from his knife was more than real. She didn't know if she would be able to stay here for the rest of her life with him after what he had done.

Right now, she was on her way down to the stables to check on her horse since it was officially hers now. At least she had one friend when everyone else let her down. She was surprised when she heard that the prince and some guards were going on a journey for a few days. The servants talked, and the rumor spread fast. Why would he go? She didn't think that it was because of her and what he told her. He wouldn't run away. She asked a young lady on her way, but she didn't know anything more.

The princess sighed and walked toward the big gate where the guards and their horses already stood in position but no sight of Killian. She gritted her teeth for a moment and was about to ask Victor about what was going on when she saw him. In a suit of armor. Oh great, this just got better. Why was he allowed to wear that and look so handsome in it?Wait. No. He wasn't handsome; he was a bastard who liked to hurt people. Not handsome.

He held his helmet under his arm and rolled his eyes when he saw her walking toward him. The sun made his face softer, but he still looked serious and dangerous, not like a knight in shining armor, more like a dark knight on his way to destroy lives. Charming.

"Where are you going?" she asked him and tried to look him in the eyes, but he avoided her gaze and just kept walking until she grabbed his arm. Again. He made it clear last night that he didn't like that, but yet, she did it again. She let go immediately when she saw that she had his attention before she cleared her throat.

"Don't you think I should know where you're going? As your future wife?"

The way the words came out of her mouth made it clear that she wasn't very keen on being his wife. She heard him snort before he continued walking. Gods, that made her slightly mad. She hated to be ignored like that. She wasn't used to it.

"Killian!" she literally yelled, louder than she had planned. When every pair of eyes laid on her, she swallowed hard and smiled shyly for a second before her gaze met his, and damn, if looks could kill, she would be dead now. Twice.

He threw his helmet to one of the guards before he stomped back to her, grabbing her upper arm tighter than she preferred and dragging her aside.

"What?" he hissed and gritted his teeth. She could see the anger playing in his eyes. Weak spot. She was really good at finding out his weak spots and was sure that he would kill her one day for that.

For a long moment, she forgot what she was about to say until she shrugged his hand off her arm and took a deep breath. "I just want to know where are you going. No need to ignore me!" No matter what was wrong with him and how cruel he had been, she would stand up to him. He couldn't do everything he wanted, and she needed to show him that if this marriage was going to work.

She saw how he needed a moment to fight control, could see his body shake for a moment. "I'm going on a journey for a few days. Why and where is none of your business. And don't you dare make me look like a fool in front of my men again." He literally growled at her before he turned around and was about to walk away.

"Why did you let me out?"

It was confusing since he said he would lock her up for quite a while, so no reason to let her out, actually. He didn't even look back at her when he shrugged with his shoulders and walked over to his horse. After a few more minutes, the whole group of knights and guards was out of the big gate, and Emma remained alone with a few servants. She should use the time without him to her advantage as much as she possibly could.

* * *

Five days. Five days and no sign from him, and if she was honest, she was so happy about it. She had spent a lot of time with Ruby and Tinkerbell, exploring the castle and the city around it, talking to civilians and royals, having a lot of girl time while they were out on their horses in the woods and so much more. Without the prince around her, she finally felt safe and free. The king was barely there, mostly in his chambers, but she had accepted it. For the first time since they arrived at the castle, she had felt truly happy.

Without him, there wasn't this permanent presence of a danger. Of something that would hurt her. She knew it was stupid, but as soon as he was around, she didn't feel safe anymore. She felt like someone always watched her, like she could already feel the cold hand around her neck, just waiting to squeeze hard enough to take any air she needed to breathe. But now, without him, everything was better. She didn't even know why she felt like this, but if she was honest with herself, she didn't even want to know.

Tink left the previous day to visit some friends, so Emma and Ruby were alone most of the time since Victor was on the journey with Killian. Unlike Emma, the other girl missed her whatever he was to her quite a lot. She acted slightly different than usual, and the princess thought it was just because she missed the handsome guard, without knowing what was really going on and that her best friend was literally a spy.

They laid down in the grass on a blanket in the big garden of the castle, staring into the blue sky when Emma finally made a move.

"What's wrong, Ruby?"

She turned around to her side so that she was able to look at her friend, but she kept looking into the sky. Emma tilted her head slightly and frowned.

"Hey."

This time Ruby sat up, and Emma did the same until they finally looked at each other. She hated to see her friend miserable like that, but she also didn't know how to cheer her up this time since she wasn't able to bring Victor back just like that.

"It's just because of Victor. I miss him."

Emma frowned slightly when Ruby looked away again. She wasn't sure, but her gut told her that wasn't everything, but before she could ask, Ruby stood up and turned around, just looking over her shoulder down to her friend.

"I have something to do in town. I will see you tomorrow."

With these words, she turned completely and left Emma alone on the ground. She blinked a few times - this was a totally new reaction from her friend, and she started to worry. Ruby could always talk to her, and the girl knew that.

Emma let herself fall back on the blanket and took a deep breath. She was still wearing her riding clothes from their trip earlier, and it just felt good to be a little normal when Killian was out. Right now, she was no princess with an arranged marriage and a stupid future husband. Right now, she was just Emma without responsibilities or a whole kingdom to reign. Right now, she was just a girl, and she didn't have enough moments of that in her life.

She realized she missed her parents a lot. Even with their complicated past, she loved them more than anything else, and she was glad that she grew up in the castle for at least the past few years. Maybe she should go back into her room and write a letter to her parents. The sun was going down anyway, and it would get cold soon.

After she looked around quickly, she yawned slightly and took the blanket, walking inside of the castle. A few servants wanted to take the blanket, but she just shook her head. She was able to carry the piece of fabric on her own. She was wondering where Ruby went, but she also didn't want to annoy her friend. It was her problem if she didn't want to talk. With the hope that that would change, she walked back into her room, put the blanket down, and started to think about what she should write.

Honestly, she had no idea. She could barely tell her parents that her future husband was more of a scoundrel than a gentleman or that he was hiding something in a burned wing where he killed a part of his family because he was jealous of an unborn child. Or well, she could write that, actually, but that would cause war, and she didn't want the civilians to get hurt because of her. She would probably just tell her parents that everything was fine and that she missed them, hoping to see them soon. Yes, that should be enough.

* * *

He was exhausted, and he really wanted to get down from that horse. They were riding through the forest for hours now, and his butt hurt. He had already took his armor off because it was just too hot under it, and even after the sun had went down, it was way too warm with the summer air around them. Of course they could have taken breaks, but in some parts of the woods, you don't get down from your horse; you keep moving because otherwise you have a sword in your back or an arrow in your neck.

Killian was glad as soon as they came out of the forest and could see the castle in the distance. Home. Finally home. He hadn't planned on staying away for so long, but they had to make sure their coasts were safe from every ship that came from the west and the east. Well, actually, they needed to make sure every ship was friendly since there was some tension with the kingdoms of the west, and there had been attacks on the sea. Some of their ships had been boarded, and they lost their goods.

But now, after a few days, he had made sure that no one was attacking the ships anymore. With some deals and some gold you can convince anyone to work for you. What he did in the end was his secret. He didn't even tell his men what was the actual price for a safe coast and safe trade routes because he already knew they wouldn't approve, but he didn't care. His kingdom, his people, his choices.

As soon as they got to the stables, his knights and guards vanished rather quickly. Almost everyone had a family or wanted to get some rest while he stayed with his horse for a while, taking care of it while he drank some of his rum. He watched the dark castle in the night, almost no light was on since everyone except the guards should be asleep. It was really late, and he had planned on being here earlier, but of course, it didn't work out like that.

He stroked the back of his horse once more before he walked outside, and a small light caught his attention. Before he could walk far enough to see what it was, he heard voices screaming. His eyebrow rose, and he put his rum back into the pocket of his coat before he heard the voices again, but he couldn't quite understand what they were saying.

Then he heard an explosion, heard glass shatter, and a big flame struck out of the window. A devilish grin settled on his lips, and he heard another guard yelling.

"The fire! It's Princess Emma's room!"


	7. Chapter 7

Emma was peacefully asleep. It was one of the rare nights where she could actually sleep without over-thinking everything. She could dream about how her life could be much better than this, having a caring husband, wonderful kids and a kingdom full of people who loved the royal family. She dreamed of her family and her sibling, living together in the castle, and she loved being a big sister.  
She turned around in bed, but a weird smell caused her to wrinkle her nose while she was still asleep. Probably just because of the dream she had, but even when the scene in her dream changed, the smell didn't go away. Slowly, she opened her eyes and blinked a few times until she saw black smoke.

Immediately, she sat up straight in bed, watching the flames run high on her curtains and the furniture. A scream left her throat before she started to cough. The smoke was already too thick. She jumped up from her bed, running toward the door, but it was locked, damn. She didn't even remember locking it! She was on the way to the window when something exploaded. It shattered the windows, the glass flew around the door, and she was barely able to hide behind the desk. The only thing that wasn't burning yet. She was trapped, and the smoke would probably kill her before the fire.

Her instincts told her to go back to the door, but she couldn't; her legs didn't want to move, and she felt sick in her stomach. She couldn't breathe, and before she realized it, everything around her went black, and her head hit the ground hard.

* * *

His smile faded fast when he realized what the guards were yelling, and his gaze snapped back to the window. He saw the burning curtains, and he frowned. No, no, no, no! It wasn't planned like this, not like this. This wasn't right! It wasn't supposed to be her. Bastard.

Killian clenched his hand into a fist before he started running into the castle, up the stairs, and to the wing of the building where her room was. He needed to hurry. As soon as he could see her door, he saw some servants with water and some guards, trying to open the door but it didn't work. Of course it didn't!

He ran towards them, but before he could reach the door his chest ached. His fingers grabbed his shirt over his chest when he fell on his knees. He couldn't breathe, damn it! Not yet, not yet, he had no time. She would die in there.

"My Lord!"

One of the guards ran toward him and helped him up but Killian jerked his arm back, trying to catch a breath, shaking his head.

"I'm fine. Get more water." He tried to sound calm, but he wasn't - the pain in his chest ripped him apart, and he could barely stand, but he had to. Right now, he had to.

"But we can't get inside!"

Killian growled at the guard and glared at him before the other man nodded and went away, probably calling more servants to get more water.

He tried to catch a breath. One deep breath. Two. Three. Then he moved toward the door, could see the smoke coming out of it, could feel the heat on his skin. She would burn alive in there.

"Out of the way! Get more water!" he growled at the servants and the guards. One of them opened their mouth to say something, but when he saw the look on Killian's face, he shut his mouth.

The prince held the handle down, trying to open it before he threw himself against the door with a dark growl until his shoulder hurt. "Come on! It's me you want!" He literally yelled at the door and was glad that the guards and servants went away to get the water. After he took another deep breath, he threw himself one more time against the door and almost stumbled into the room when it opened.

The only thing he could see for a second was the black smoke until he saw the flames surrounding her. He could feel the heat on his face. It was almost too much. He felt like he would burn himself. Everything in this room was burning, except for her. He bit his bottom lip hard, looked around but couldn't find a way to her. He needed to go through the flames, god damn.

Killian looked behind him to make sure no one was there before he looked back at her, saw how the flames crept closer to her. "Really now?" He growled before he walked a few steps back. One deep breath. Two. Three. His chest hurt. Then he started running and jumped over the flames into the circle where she lie. He was about to pick her up when one flame attacked him. A low growl left his lips when he felt the fire on his arm, burning his skin but he couldn't think about this now; he needed to get her out of there.

He picked her up from the floor, carrying her in his arms, but there was no way he could jump with her. The flames got closer and closer, and he took a deep breath, ignoring the pain on his arm and in his chest. He needed to. There was no other way, and he wouldn't let her burn. One deep breath. Two. Three. He started running, right through the flames, could feel the heat around his legs while adrenaline was pumping through his veins.

As soon as they were out of the room, his legs gave in and fell, turning slightly so he fell on his back with her still in his arms before he crawled as far away from the fire as possible until his back hit the cold wall. The guards and servants came back, trying to extinguish the fire, trying to make it stop but he didn't care. His whole body was on fire. He felt like he would burn alive right now, everything hurt; he couldn't breath, it was ripping him apart before he also lost consciousness.

* * *

He woke up in his room with an aching pain throughout his whole body. He took some deep breaths, his chest rising and sinking heavily. Everything hurt while he was trying to remember what happened before it hit him. Without thinking, he sat up in bed and regretted it one second later as everything was spinning. He held one hand against his head and heard footsteps.

"My Prince, you're awake. The healer just left to look for the princess. Shall I call him back?"

Victor was right beside his bed, looking at him, but Killian just shook his head slightly. It was better to look for Emma. He didn't know how much of that smoke got into her lungs. She could die. He just had a burned arm and burned legs. Wait. His legs.

He threw the blanket away and saw that they were completely fine. A new pair of pants, but no bandages, no blood, nothing. That wasn't possible - he had run straight through the fire. There was no way they could be without any wounds. His gaze went to his left arm and saw a bandage and could feel the pain. He was hurt there, but why the hell were his legs okay?

For a moment, he wanted to ask Victor, but he wasn't there during the incident. He gritted his teeth slightly before he grabbed a cup of water from the nightstand, gulping it down. His throat was way too dry.

"How long have I been asleep? How's the princess?"

The guard looked at him for a moment before he sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Seven hours, maybe a bit more. You were exhausted, and then the whole fire thing. And as for the princess, I'm not sure. No one was allowed to go into her room."

Killian frowned and swallowed slightly; it was never a good sign when the healer acted like this. Not like he would care.

"What about the king? Did he ask for her or me?" Victor swallowed and shook his head slightly, biting on his bottom lip, and Killian let out a deep growl.

"Victor. What's wrong?" he asked and had to fight to control his temper. Something was wrong, and he already didn't like it. "The king isn't in the castle."

"What?!" Killian widened his eyes and rasied his eyebrows. What the hell was going on?

"According to some other guards, he left the castle a few days ago to meet with some royals from the north." He saw that Victor almost felt bad for telling him and avoided his eyes. Killian growled before he got out of bed, almost falling on the ground because his legs didn't want to carry him. Victor jumped up to hold him.

"Why the hell did he leave while I wasn't here? He left the castle unprotected! They could have attacked us, and that bastard didn't care!"

Anger was boiling up, and he could already feel the adrenaline come back, but Victor sat him back on the bed.

"You can't walk, Killian. And stress is the last thing you need. Try to calm down."

This wasn't the guard speaking anymore, it was his friend or whatever they were. A long time ago, he would have called him a friend, but now? He threatened his life, he blackmailed Ruby with it, and he wasn't even sorry. Killian gritted his teeth and bit his bottom lip before he let himself fall back on the bed, taking a few deep breaths while he held his arm still.

"I can't stay here," he said in a whisper. He had to look for Emma. It was his fault that she got hurt. This hadn't been his plan. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

"You can't go out either. They want answers, and since your father isn't here, they want them from you. The people are insecure." Victor was right, and he knew it. But he didn't want to tell them the truth and first of all he had to check for Emma. He turned his head and looked out of the window, it was barely noon. He flicked his tongue over his bottom lip before he sat up straight.

"I'll go and check how she is before I deal with them. Fetch me my shirt."

* * *

Emma felt like she had slept for days when she slowly opened her eyes. A pain shot through her head, and breathing was kind of hard. She tried to remember what happened, pictures of smoke and fire flashed behind her eyelids before her memories came back. But how was she here? How did she get out? She couldn't remember. She must have lost consciousness at some point. There was the explosion and the locked door and the breathing problems.

She opened her eyes and sat up. For a moment her vision was blurry before she was able to look around. The sun was already up, so maybe it was afternoon? It was also not her room and not her bed. It seemed to be some kind of a spare room because besides a bed, a table, a few chairs, and a small wardrobe, the room was quite empty. A cold room. She shivered out of reflex even if she wasn't freezing.

Her eyes wandered around to the right side of her bed, and she was surprised to see him there. Sitting in a chair with black leather pants and a black shirt, his hair messy like he just ran his hand through it, and his arm was covered with a bandage. Did he? No. No, he didn't. He wouldn't care if she burned or not, but what was he doing in here?

He wasn't even awake, and it made her smile for a moment. No matter how ruthless he seemed, how cruel and careless he acted, right now she could see nothing of that man. His eyes were closed, his chest rose and fell slightly and steadily, his face looked so soft and peacful while he was sleeping in that chair. He seemed to be so young and innocent. For a moment, she had the urge to run her hand over his cheek, to feel him, but then she realized who he actually was, and she pulled her hand back. She had reached out to him without realizing it.

After a long moment of just watching him, she cleared her throat loudly, hoping he would wake up from that, but he didn't. He just shifted slightly and turned his face to the other side, and she couldn't hide her smile. It was kind of cute.

"Killian," she whispered, not wanting to wake him up too harshly, and this time, he mumbled something before he opened his eyes and yawned, turning his head to her, and she could swear that there was a little smile on his lips for a brief moment.

"Ah, the sleeping princess is awake," he said and chuckled before he sat up straight and leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs and his head in his hands, looking at her with those incredible blue eyes.

She bit her bottom lip for a moment and then cleared her throat again. "What happened?" she asked, still slightly confused about the whole thing. It made her feel insecure that there was a fire in her room without any signs, just like that.

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "Well, there was a fire in your room, and I think you lost consciousness because of all the smoke and because it was hard to breathe in there." Wow, thank you for that information. She already knew that. She shook her head slightly, and her eyes landed back on his wounded arm before she nodded in that direction.

Killian didn't need words this time; he knew what she wanted to know. He understood her. He just laughed and shook his head. "Someone needed to get you out of there." With a shrug, he leaned back in the chair, but his eyes never left hers. So he had saved her like she thought.

Emma looked down for a long moment and bit her bottom lip, not quite sure if she should ask the question that was on her mind, but as soon as she looked up, she couldn't help herself. "Why?" She could see how he frowned, and she knew it was a dumb question, but it was such a huge difference from the moment in the burned wing to now, and she just needed to know. "I mean, it would have been easier to let me burn there, so you wouldn't have to deal with me. I mean…you did it before. You killed people before with fire."

She could see how he tensed up and gritted his teeth, clenching his jaw, and she knew she had asked the wrong question. For a moment, she expected him not to answer, not to say anything. She expected him to leave without a word but he just leaned forward again, staring into her eyes with a glint of darkness in his own. It almost looked like he had no answer for this question, and she knew she was right when he just shrugged.

"I was away for days. I couldn't set up the fire, eh? Besides that, I have more from it if I marry you." There was a hint of a growl in his voice, and she wouldn't get further into this. He had seem so innocent while he was asleep, and now he was like that again. She didn't need to get him mad at her for asking questions she wasn't supposed to ask, but right now, she actually just wanted to go.

"Do you know what caused the fire?" she asked him anyway, not more than a whisper, avoiding his eyes while she sank back into the bed, leaning against the headboard, just looking at him for a moment. He needed to think about the answer. She could see it in his eyes and the way he breathed.

"Yes." Well, she didn't expect that. So he knew who almost killed her? Who wanted to get rid of her? She opened her mouth to ask but he cut her off. "And I'll take care of it." With these words, he got up and was about to leave her room but again, she reached out, and this time she grabbed his hand, looking up at him. As soon as her soft hand touched his skin. he gasped and flinched slightly. Did she hurt him? She had touched his right hand, it should be okay, not like his left one. She frowned, but then he looked over his shoulder, down at her, starting to breathe heavily.

"Please, tell me." she begged him and didn't let go of his hand, and he didn't pull it away. Did something happen in the days he was away that changed his mind toward her? Maybe he just had a few good fucks to let out all the anger. The skin on his hand was rough and calloused while hers was soft. Only after another long moment did he pull his hand slowly back, touching the left half of his chest with it like he was trying to ease the pain before.

"Magic. I'll let you know when I get more information. Get some rest." Before she could say more, he had already left her room. Magic? She didn't even know anyone who was able to use magic so why would someone try to kill her, especially now when she was protected like this?

Emma sighed and put her head back into the pillow, and she dosed off to sleep only a few minutes later.

* * *

Killian sat on the king's throne in the empty throne room. He had wanted it clear because he wanted to think, and as long as the king wasn't here, he was the one in charge. Even if he was still mad at this joke of a ruler for leaving the castle and the people unprotected, he couldn't let the business down. Someone needed to reign, and for now, it would be him.

The rumor of the fire had spread as fast as the one with the dead children, and he didn't like it at all. Rumors spread way too fast, and too many things were happening. Why right now? Had it something to do with Emma's arrival? Were their enemies afraid of the moment when they would marry and unite the kingdoms? Possibly.

He knew the reason for the fire - it was payback, but he couldn't tell this to his people. They needed something good. He didn't need more insecurity in his kingdom. People who were afraid tended to do stupid things, maybe even start a revolution, and even if he didn't care about the people and what would happen to them during a war, he did care about his power, about his kingdom as a whole. He wanted to be king, and he would be, no matter what it would cost.

One leg streched out in front of him as he leaned back into the throne. He sat there, elbow on the armrest and his head in his hand, a bored look on his face while he tried some lines in his head that would sound good. A knock at the door confused him for a moment before he sat up straight.

"Aye, come in." He yelled toward the door, and the heavy wood opened. For a moment, he had thought that Emma had come to visit him, but it was Victor, and he sighed with relief.

"Your grace. The people are getting nervous because you didn't tell them anything yet." Victor stopped in front of the stairs that lead up to the throne, his gaze fixed on the prince, and Killian growled slightly, standing up while he bit his bottom lip.

"You know what caused the fire, right?" And there it was again, the look in the eyes of his guard that told him that he was concerned. The prince rolled his eyes but nodded. Why had they become friends again all this time ago?

"Of course I do, it's just something we can't spread around. It would damage the kingdom only more, and we can't take more insecurity and damage inside of the nation. We have to tell them a lie because the same person who set up the fire might be the same person who killed the children." If Victor was a normal guard, Killian wouldn't even share this information with him, but they were kind of friends, and he could trust him more than any other man in the castle. The other man was loyal and would always be, that was also the reason why he was the commander of the guards.

Killian walked down the stairs and to the window, looking out at the garden. The only thing that was always peaceful and free from danger. He had loved this place as a kid. Victor was silent but followed him. The prince sighed.

"It's because of what we have done at the coast. The fire was probably the payback, and it was supposed to hurt me, not her." He gritted his teeth slightly when he heard how Victor took a deep breath behind him. He turned around, looking at his friend.

"Please don't say what I have in mind. This can't be." The guard sounded almost terrified while he looked at him with wide eyes and an open mouth, shaking his head over and over again, but Killian just took a deep breath and nodded.

"It is. If I'm right, the Dark One is back."

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight dub-con warning for the beginning of their smutty encounter ;)

Killian had given a speech to the people in his throne room about the fire. Emma had been there too, had listened to him and his…well, bullshit. Everyone was leaving the room right now except for her. She just stood still and nodded to a few people while they left. He had lied to all of them, and she knew it. She saw him sit down on the throne again with a loud sigh as the big door closed and everyone was gone, even the guards, just not her.

"Do you think it's a good move to lie to them?" she asked him and came out of the shadows, saw the surprise on his face for a moment before he controlled himself again. He sat there, completely bored and obviously annoyed with her presence. She could hear a growl but didn't care as she moved closer to the throne until she stood right in front of him.

"I don't know what you mean," he said and leaned back, raising an eyebrow at her. Emma huffed. For being in politics, he was quite a bad liar, at least to her. Maybe it was just because she knew it when people lied, at least in most of the cases.

"You and I, we both know that wasn't an accident. I know you just want to calm your people, to take their fear away, but what if they find out?" She tilted her head and had something soft in her face when he leaned forward, placing his arms on his legs as he looked up at her. For one second, he wasn't the ruthless prince she always saw. For one second, he almost seemed desperate, not knowing what to do.

"Listen, I have no desire to talk with you about such things. The people are informed. It doesn't matter what they believe, but I did what needed to be done to avoid disturbances in my kingdom." He gritted his teeth slightly before he stood up, moving to stand right in front of her. She was able to look into his incredible blue but dull eyes, and she sighed.

"Will you tell me the truth at least?" she asked him with a soft voice, hoping he wouldn't pull away from her, but as soon as she had spoken the words, his face changed, became harder than before, and he shook his head.

"No. I'll deal with it, and it won't happen again." Lie. He lied right to her face, she was sure of that. She swallowed and opened her mouth to say something but closed it when he moved right past her to leave the room. She grabbed his arm again. This was going to be a bad habit of hers, apparently. He stopped immediately and looked back at her with a deep growl leaving his throat, warning and agressive.

"Please. I'm going to be your wife and your queen. You should at least be honest with me about such things. In maybe a few weeks, we will have to face such things together." She tried it in a peaceful way since insulting him hadn't brought her very far. But she just heard him huff as he jerked his arm free, turning around to her.

"We might get married, but that doesn't mean you have a word to say in ruling my kingdom, Princess." His voice was barely more than a growl, and it scared her for a moment. She took a deep breath and shook her head, knowing that talking this way wouldn't help her either. He was a hard nut to crack, but there had to be a way. She felt slightly angry at his behavior again. If they unite the kingdoms, one of them was her home, and she didn't want him to rule it like he always owed him and like he could rule the world, even if that was probably his plan in the big picture. Yeah, she could totally imagine that.

He started to walk, and she followed him, not quite sure what words to use to talk to him about the next topic. When she had tried to get into her room this morning, it was locked, of course. But obviously she wasn't able to sleep in there anymore, and the room of the healer was no option for her.

"Where am I supposed to sleep now after the fire? My room is locked and seems to be ruined," she asked him, and her voice was stronger and serious now, not as soft as before since it hadn't helped her at all. If he wanted to play asshole then fine, she could do the same.

She didn't expect to hear him chuckle the way he did, something dark in it when he stopped walking again shortly before he had reached the door, turning around to her again. He had this look again where he was the predator and she the prey, and she already didn't want to hear his answer anymore.

"Well, my room of course," he answered with a dark grin on his lips, leaning against the door that lead to the hall, crossing his arms over his chest. Oh great, he wanted to play this game again, blocking her way so she wasn't able to get out. Great move. It was so smart of her to stay alone inside of here with him.

At his answer, her face literally dropped, and she just blinked at him, not quite sure what to say. His room. Sure. That was what he dreamed of at night, but hell no, that wouldn't happen. She would rather sleep in a cell than in his room or — even worse — his bed!

"I won't share a room with you and definitely not the same bed, Killian!" She raised her voice while she spoke, not quite sure if it was because she was mad or just way too shocked that he actually said that. She had known that at some point, she had to share a room and also a bed with him, sleeping with him, having sex with him, but she had thought it would be in the future, weeks, maybe months, who knew when he was ready to marry her or when his father decided to have them married. She tried to get past him, but no way, so she somehow had to keep her anger under control.

He treated her like a child again, like a girl he could push around all he wanted, like someone who didn't matter, and she hated it. She was a princess, and he treated her like some servant or like a dog, something in between that. His laugh brought her back from her thoughts, and she gritted her teeth at his expression. He was already having way too much fun with that.

"Oh, you have no choice, darling," he said and licked his lips, wiggling his eyebrows, and she wished she could just slap him again, slap that stupid grin off of his face.

"I'm still not your darling!"

He walked closer to her, and she took a step back. They were playing this game again. Lion and lamb, but she didn't want to be the lamb again, didn't want to be helpless because of him. Yesterday, he was so different with her, showing at least some kind of affection toward her when he sat at her bed, waiting for her to wake up, and now he was like this again. She swallowed hard and glared at him.

"You are my darling. You are my sweetheart. You are my future wife."

The way he pronounced wife made her sick in her stomach. She still wasn't used to the fact she would get married at all, but here she was, with her future husband who looked like he would be able to kill her any second. He wasn't the man she always dreamed of, not the prince she had in her head when she lay in bed, dreaming about her future life. Yes, she knew that in most cases the royals didn't get married for love but for power, but because it was different with her parents, she had hoped it would be different with her marriage, too. That she would be able to fall in love with a stranger, but right now? No. He was not a man she could love, not now and not ever. He was disgusting, rude, and ruthless, no prince certainly but more like a pirate, taking what he wanted without caring about others. He would take what he wanted and when he wanted it just because he had power, because he was the future king. Her future husband. She wanted to vomit.

"I hate you," she spit out in a growl, biting her bottom lip a second later to keep herself from insulting him more, making him mad, because the last time didn't end that well for her.

"Oh, I know that my dear princess. But that's fine, I can live with your hatred," he said, and she felt her back hit a wall. Oh, wonderful, this got better and better. She knew he would be fine with a wife who hated him, and she hated that. She wouldn't be his lamb, his stupid wife, his dog. She wouldn't do everything he told her to please him like she had no free will. She would speak her mind, no matter what the consequences were.

Emma closed her eyes when she felt his lips brush over her cheek, and she shivered, wanting to push him away, but her arms didn't move. She felt his breath close to her ear. "Can't wait to share my bed with you tonight, Princess." She took a deep breath, and he was gone. The door fell shut loudly behind him. She hated him. There had to be a way to get around this, to get her own room. Hell, she would even sleep on the dirty floor or in the garden as long as it was warm. Ruby also had a small room they could share. Yes, that was a good idea.

She waited a long moment and took some deep breaths before she also moved out of the throne room into the hall. After she made sure Killian wasn't there anymore, she walked over to the part of the castle where Ruby's room was, with the hope her friend would be able to take her in. Sure, she doubted that Killian would let her stay there for long, but she wouldn't let him drag her around like a sack of potatoes.

When she arrived in front of Ruby's door, she heard some weird noises but just shook her head before she hammered against the door with a fist, hoping her friend would open up soon. She knew that there was someone in the room so she was quite impatient and wanted to knock again when the door finally opened.

"Thank god you're here, I have to tal-" Emma stopped immediately when she took a closer look at her friend who was leaning against the door to hide a big part of her body. Then Emma's facial features were gone within seconds, taking another close look at her friend. Messy hair, eyes dark, small marks on her shoulder and neck, a blanket around her body, red cheeks, and she was panting. Oh, wonderful, she had just interrupted her best friend during intercourse. That was embarassing. Really embarassing.

"You know what, I'll…just talk to you later. Keep having your fun," she mumbled and turned around to leave, going down the hallway, and she could only hear her friend saying that she was sorry. Emma just assumed that Victor was inside there with her, and she was actually happy for her friend that at least she found someone she actually liked and could spend her time with. At least Ruby found love or at least someone to pleasure her needs while they were here.

Time for some fresh air, and she would need some time for her alone to think about the good and bad things to sharing a room with him since Ruby's room was occupied, and she had no desire to see her friend actually doing the…thing. Emma was still a virgin, not like her friend. Normally, she should be one, too, saving herself for the man she will marry since not many men would take a woman who's not a virgin anymore, but Ruby had made some mistakes in the past and was basically free to sleep with whoever she wanted.

The princess arrived in the garden and took some deep breaths while she walked in the sun, looking at the flowers and taking in their scent. The pavilion seemed like a good place to think, at least for a while.

* * *

The time alone had helped her a little to get her mind free, thinking about all the stuff she had forgotten since the fire. She wasn't sure if she should let her family know what had happened or to hope that the news wouldn't reach into her kingdom. If her mother was really pregnant, she didn't want to bother her with such things, stress was poison for the baby. The answer to her letter hadn't arrived yet, and she just hoped it would soon. She needed answers and not the one from Killian, all shady and mysterious without any explanations.

But speaking of him, they needed to talk about the room thing again. She had given him a few hours to calm down and to calm herself, and now it was time to try to talk to him again about her own room, preferably far away from his. She walked back inside the castle and down the hallway with rather fast steps. The sooner she was there, the sooner she could get away from him again. But her steps became slower and slower the closer his room came. She took a deep breath and didn't bother at all to knock. This was not the time for manners.

She just opened the door but regretted it only a few seconds later. He stood there with his back to her. His bare back. Strong shoulders and scars on his skin. She swallowed hard, and her eyes went lower and lower and- oh god. He was naked. Completely naked right in front of her, only a few steps away.

"See something you like, love?" he asked her in a rough voice, and her eyes snapped back to his face. He looked at her over his shoulder with a cheeky grin on his lips, and she swallowed slightly at the look she saw on his face. He reached forward and took his black shirt, and she saw how his muscles moved and fuck, he was really attractive right now. Okay, no, wrong thoughts.

Killian turned around to face her, playing with the shirt in his hand but didn't put it on. She tried, she really tried to keep her eyes up, but she lost the game when her eyes fell to his crotch area, and it made her swallow even more when she looked right between his legs, only for a few seconds, but it was enough. She looked back into his eyes, feeling her cheeks become hot and red, and her stomach cramped slightly in…anticipation? No. No way, this way bad. She took a few breaths, trying to calm herself down, but the wolfish grin on his face while he walked closer to her didn't help. Gods, couldn't this man just get dressed?

"Let me guess, you never saw a naked man before?" He chuckled and stopped, moving his hips a little, and she bit her bottom lip hard, trying to hold his gaze but her eyes fell back between his legs for a second. She hated herself. She was so pathetic, and she wished she would have the strength to leave, but no, here she was, aroused by him.

And no, of course he was right again, she had never seen a naked man before, only heard the stories from Ruby or read about the anatomy of people in books, and of course the bastard knew. She may not know much about men, but she knew that this thing between his legs…was huge. She gritted her teeth, refusing to give him an answer, and he just started to laugh, treating her like a child again.

"Of course you never saw a naked man before. You're way too innocent for that, aren't you? Always protected by your family, you grew up in a golden cage and don't even know what it feels like to be touched by a man. But you want it, right? Want to know what it feels like to have someone buried inside of you, the strong thrusts that take your breath before you start to tremble and you see the stars in front of your eyes when you fall over the edge, screaming the name of your lover before he shoots his release right into you." His voice was rough and husky, and she knew she wasn't the only one who was affected by this situation, no matter how wrong it was right now.

His voice didn't help her to calm down, and his words shot heat right to her core. She shook her head, trying to avoid looking at him. He was right, and she hated it. "Stop," she whispered in a weak protest. She didn't mean it, at least she wasn't quite sure what she meant right now. She had always imagined her first time all sweet with a man she loved, being playful and cute while they made love to each other but now? Making love with the man in front of her was impossible.

She heard him chuckle, and he took some more steps until he stood in front of her. His shirt had met the floor again. "Why? Because you're dripping for me? Because you want me? You know, all you have to do is ask, and I'll show you what it feels like to be a real woman." Hell no, she wouldn't ask him or even worse, beg for him to take her like some desperate whore. They would have sex sooner or later, but she would wait until she had no choice anymore. It would be embarassing anyway, and she would just let him take her, closing her eyes until it was over.

He reached forward and took her chin in his hand, raising it up so she had to look at him, into his blue eyes, and she noticed how dark they were, dark with desire. She needed to get out of here before she stepped over the point of no return. Now.

Too late.

She swallowed when he took her hand and played with her fingers for a second, and both looked down between them. He moved her hands down between them, wrapping her hand around his cock. His other hand came to rest on the wooden door right next to her head and he lifted his own, looking at her with a smirk.

"That's a good girl. Now stroke it." She hated the grin on his face, but she started to move her hand anyway, without really knowing what she was doing. She had never done this before. Her hand moved slow and shy at first, but when she heard a strangled moan from him, she gripped him tigther, moving her hand up and down faster. He seemed to like it. Maybe he just wanted to come in her hand and would let her go then.

He looked down between them, and thrusted his hips into her hand before he looked at her again. He leaned closer and apparently searched for something in her eyes before he kissed her. She stopped the movement of her hand and wasn't quite sure what to do, so her body reacted on its own again. She kissed him back, and this time, she didn't break the kiss to slap him or to push him away. He smirked into the kiss, and she started to stroke him again, slow and teasingly without knowing it when his tongue flicked out over her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth with a gasp, letting his tongue slide inside. This kiss was so much different than the last one. It was passtionate, kind of rough but not unpleasant. Gods, what was she doing here?

Emma pulled away from him, pressing herself more against the door and shook her head. "We can't. I can't." And yet, her hand was still around him, moving up and down slightly while he tilted his head to kiss her neck and fuck, she felt how ready she was for him. At least her body because her mind screamed no. "You can. It would be bad form to leave me here like this. Finish what you started," he whispered against her neck, and she shivered. His voice was the worst.

Fine, he would get what he wanted. Maybe he would leave her alone then. She took her hand away from his cock and heard how he growled, biting down hard on her neck, and she hissed at him, arching her back slightly against him. Her hand moved to his chest, feeling the dark hair under her palm before she pushed him away, but her hand stayed on his chest, only pushing him more toward the bed. She felt so stupid because she had no idea what she was doing, but as long as he let her do everything and didn't take control, it was fine.

His legs hit the edge of the bed, and he fell into a sitting position, and she straddled his lap, kissing him again, and this time she was the one who moaned when his hand trailed down her back to open her dress. She had never been bare in front of a man before, and she was nervous, but she would let him do it. They didn't break the kiss for a long moment until she felt her dress open. She got up and got out of it and wanted to sit on his lap again when he shook his head.

"Turn around," he said, his voice even rougher than before.

"Why?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest to cover up at least something, pressing her legs together because she knew she was wet because of him, and that was actually the last thing she wanted to do.

"Just do it," he growled, and she turned around until he stopped her. She bit her bottom lip when he smirked at her. "On your knees, Princess." She shook her head, and he raised an eyebrow, grabbing her hand to pull her close, pressing her against his body. "I know you want to get me off, and the best way to do that is to get on your knees."

She looked him in his dark blue eyes and swallowed, looking down between them, his cock hard against her bare thigh. "Let's make a deal," he whispered in her ear, and her eyes shot back up to his, seeing his wolfish grin. "If you can get me off with your mouth, I'll do the same for you, but I won't take you. That's what you're afraid of, right? The pain of you first time? Especially with me? In the end I'll take you anyway, but it doesn't have to be now and you have more time to prepare." Even these words turned her on, the way he spoke to her, much softer than before. She didn't answer him and just got down on her knees in front of him.

He grinned down at her and licked his own lips, tangling his hand in her hair and playing with it for a moment until she felt his tip against her lips. "Open up, love." She hesitated for a moment until she opened her mouth and let him slip in. She had never done this before and just moved her mouth up and down to see if he liked it, her eyes on his face all the time. She pulled back and her tongue twirled around his tip, licking the sides before she moved her mouth down on him again, taking him in as far as she could. He thrusted his hips forward, making her gag for a moment, but it wasn't as unpleasant as she thought.

When she noticed that he liked it, she moved her head up and down faster, humming around him and smirking slightly when she heard him groan. His cock grew even harder in her mouth. For a moment, she let him slip out, used her hand and then her mouth again. "Fuck," he groaned, gripping her hair even more to hold her in place when he started to thrust into her mouth. It was rougher and faster than her pace, and she wasn't sure if she could take it. One hand slipped between her legs, touching herself carefully and crap, she was dripping.

"Don't." She looked up at him and saw him glaring at her so she took her hand away. Right, he wanted to get her off, probably with his mouth too since he had promised not to take her. Her jaw started to feel sore, and he made her gag a few times. His thrusts became sloppy and erratic, the grip on her hair almost painful, and after one last thrust she felt how he came inside of her mouth. She had no choice but to swallow it since he held her head, and it tasted…weird? She didn't even know, it was too fast before he let go of her and sank back into the mattress of the bed while she kept sitting on the ground, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Come here and get comfortable." She gritted her teeth and looked at his cock, how it softened, before she crawled up on the bed, letting herself fall on her back. Her hand ran over her jaw for a moment, it hurt, and it would probably be worse in a few hours. He moved toward her and settled between her legs, his length against her thigh while he looked down at her.

"You promised-" she started, but he leaned down to kiss her roughly, biting her bottom lip and her hand moved into his hair. "I know what I promised. Don't worry about that." She let out a sigh of relief, and he started to kiss her neck, leaving bites and bruises. His hand palmed her breast and she arched her back into his touch, moaning softly. She had had her own thoughts about being pleased by someone, but this wasn't what she had imagined. It was better.

He kissed down to her other breast that he wasn't massaging with his hand to take a nipple into his mouth, pulling and sucking slightly on it, biting it briefly, and she groaned, rocking her hips up without knowing it. Her center was aching, aching for him, and she wasn't quite sure if this was a good thing. She would start to overthink all of this now, but as soon as one of his hands slipped between her legs, she was gone.

Killian chuckeld while he let a finger slip through her wet folds, smirking up at her while he flicked his tongue against her nipple. "For someone who pretends to hate me, you're quite wet for me, love." Her grip in his hair tightened. She didn't want him to talk, not now. He apparently understood that and kissed down her stomach until his head was between her legs. She closed her eyes, but he growled at her.

"Look at me." After a moment she looked down, seeing how he smirked at her before he started to kiss up her right thigh, then her left one, always stopping right before where she needed him. "Gods, Killian," she whined, and it was quite frustrating that he didn't give her what she wanted. Her hand fisted in his hair, moving it closer to her center, and she rocked her hips up, wanting him to do something.

She heard him chuckle and wanted to say something, but then his mouth closed over her clit, and she moaned loudly when he started to suck. But after a moment, he was gone again, only flicking his tongue about her sensitive spot, and she wasn't sure if she was able to handle it. Her body was on fire. It was too hot, too much.

His tongue slid through her folds like his fingers before, and she rocked her hips up again. Whatever he was doing to her, he knew how to do it. He thrusted his tongue inside of her, and she leaned her head back, closing her eyes and her free hand gripped the sheet of the bed. He did this for a long moment, and she felt herself get closer to the edge, but then he pulled away again and she looked down at him, almost in shook, but he just winked at her and moved his hand between her legs again.

"Wait," she said, jerking her hips slightly back, but he held her in place with one hand pressing down on her stomach. He frowned and saw her shaking. "What?" he asked, sounding a little bit annoyed. "Just…don't use all of them. And..not too deep." He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly before he started to laugh and shook his head, trailing his finger up and down between her folds.

"I know what I'm doing. Just relax." And she did. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again, feeling how he pushed his finger into her, and it wasn't how she imagined it. She was wet enough. He slowly started to move it, respecting her wish not to use all of them while his mouth closed over her clit again, sucking on it. He growled softly, and it only drew her closer to the edge. She was already panting when he moved his finger faster, slipping a second one inside. For a moment she held her breath, even two of his fingers were painful, but he let her get used to it. The moment she rocked her hips up, he started to move them.

After a moment, it wasn't unpleasant anymore, and she moaned, his name slipping over her lips without her realizing it, and then he hit the right spot inside of her that made her see stars. "Come for me," he whispered against her soft skin before he flicked his tongue over her clit again, and she did what he said, coming violently and with a loud moan that the guards outside in the hall were probably able to hear, but she couldn't care less.

He rode her orgasm out, moving his fingers slowly until he pulled out, smirking up at her, his scruff glistening with her wetness while he crawled up to her again, kissing her to make her taste herself on him. She moaned softly, and he rolled off of her, turned her on her side to settle behind her. Only when she came down from her high did she realize that it was utterly wrong what they had just done. She felt dirty, feeling the taste of him still in her mouth.

The prince wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. She could feel his cock right at her ass. "Could you…get dressed?" she asked him, still heavily breathing, but he just huffed, shaking his head. "No." He only pulled her closer, and she sighed. She was too tired to argue with him, and it was in the middle of the afternoon. He wouldn't let her go, at least not yet. She would deal later with him and what they have done. For now, she just wanted to rest.

 


	9. Chapter 9

When she woke up again she couldn't feel the warm body behind her anymore. The presence was gone, and she shivered. What had she done? Gods, she had kind of slept with him, not in the traditional way but still. They had been intimate with each other and now? Now she felt bad, dirty, and used. Her jaw was sore. It hurt, and she swore that she could still feel a throbbing pain between her legs from what he had done with his tongue and his fingers. But maybe, just maybe, he would leave her alone now, at least for a while, at least until they got married.

She turned around on the other side to see him laying there in the light of the sunset that came into the room through the window. In a different situation, this would be romantic but now? No. It was everything but romantic. She hated herself, and she hated him for the fact that he made her feel  _ good _ , that she wanted  _ more _ , but hell no, this was wrong, so wrong.

On the other side, she chouldn't deny the weird attraction she felt towards him, the invisible bond that pulled her closer to him. He was interesting, mysterious, so different than all the other men she met. He wasn't the typical prince, no gentleman. Other royal men she met always treated her with respect, but he seemed like he didn't even know that word.

She looked at his back, his muscles moving with every breath he took, and in the light she took a better look at his scars, all over his back, his shoulders, one even on his neck. She moved a little closer to him, careful not to wake him up even if it wasn't the time for sleep at all,be but no one seemed to looking for them, so they were fine for now. And right now, his presence didn't felt dangerous anymore, not like always. She usually got the urge to leave as soon as he entered the room, but right now it was nothing like that. Probably because he was asleep and couldn't kill her.

Emma shook her head slightly, and she couldn't stop herself from reaching out for his back. She traced a long scar carefully with her index finger, then another one. She could feel how the skin was different, and right now he looked more like a broken man, covered with scars from the past, and she would love to hear the stories behind them.

"What are you doing?" His voice sounded a little sleepy but also rough. He didn't turn around to her, just kept lying where he was. She didn't know if his eyes were open or not, the movement of her fingers stopped immediately, but she didn't remove her hand, placing it flat on his back.

"I…where did you get all these scars?" she asked him, her voice low and soft like she could break something with it. The room was filled with silence, except for their breathing and their voices, and she didn't want to ruin it with speaking too loudly.

"Life is not a fairytale, Princess. It's war. A never ending war, and you can't escape." She felt a lump in her throat while he spoke, a sadness settled in her eyes. What had happened to him? Why was he like that? His sigh made her look to him, and she watched him get up. Her fingers left his skin. He sat at the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair while she pulled the blanket up to cover her naked body some more.

Then he stood up and walked across the room to get dressed. She didn't dare say anything, his words echoing in her mind. His movements in the room were slow; he wasn't in a hurry. "Where are you going?" she asked him shyly and sat up in the bed, taking the blanket with her so her breasts were covered.

He turned around to her, and for once she had no idea how to interpretate the look on his face. It was…she didn't even know. Like there was nothing. Like he was empty, and that look hurt her in a way she couldn't explain. Gods, what was he doing with her? He shouldn't be able to confuse her so much. She shouldn't care what he was doing or how he looked, he was just her future husband out of an arranged marriage, nothing else.

"Out. You can stay here, and I'll tell the servants to bring you some food." She heard in his voice that he wouldn't share where exactly he would go, so she just nodded. The urge to move wasn't big, she was still pleased and her body hurt a little. Her gut told her to stay in bed so that was what she would do. She would get dressed later when he had left the room. The servants would probably start to talk if she was naked in his bed, even if it shouldn't be that surprising since they would get married anyway.

He gave her a nod and left the room while she sank back into the bed, taking a deep breath. This was so wrong. All of it. She shouldn't share a bed with him, he shouldn't make her feel good, they shouldn't be naked together, not now, it was way too soon. He was probably going to look for another woman he could take like he wanted since she hadn't allowed him to. But that was a good sign, right? That he had at least respected her wish not to lose her virginity this time? Hell, she didn't know anymore. Did she regret it that she had been intimate with him? Yeah, maybe.

* * *

The sun was already swallowed by the horizon when he stopped his horse in the middle of the Darkwood, the darkest parts of the forest that surrounded the castle. The trees were so thick that barely any sun reached the ground, and he stood right at the border of the part of the forest that belonged to the witch that had cursed him back then. He didn't know if she was still there or long dead. He also really didn't care about it. Worse enough that Emma had almost entered this place on their ride together from the other side. The illusion worked every time.

He huffed and tied his horse to a tree, walking around a little. "Come on!" he yelled and heard some of the birds leave, flying away. He walked deeper into the wood, looking around for something or well, someone. He ran his hand through his hair and became angry. Damn bastard.

Then, out of nothing he was pushed against a tree, an invisible hand closing around his neck, stealing his breath while he struggled against it, gasping for air. Seconds later, he hit the ground, coughing and trying to catch a breath while he leaned his head back against the tree before getting up.

"You're brave, dearie."

And there he was. The Dark One, right in front of him. Killian tried to control his breath while he looked at the damn crocodile before he found himself pinned at the tree again. Branches came around his body to hold him there. He growled deeply at the other man, if you could even call him a man.

"These aren't your woods, crocodile. This isn't even your land. What are you doing here?" He tried to control his anger while the branches pressed into his body, pressing the air out of his lungs, but he held the gaze of his enemy. He hated this man more than everything and now, after all this time, he had come back.

"I'm here for you, of course," the Dark One said and laughed like a little kid.

Killian just rolled his eyes, struggling against the branches for a second but could only feel them tighten around his body. He growled deeply and bit his bottom lip. "Oh, so you wanna finally kill me?" He tilted his head and lifted an eyebrow. He wasn't afraid of death, not at all. His face was cold while he held the gaze of the other man.

"Oh no, not yet. Too soon. I just want your heart." For once, Killian was the prey and was circled by the wizard. He swallowed while his eyes followed the movement, tensing up with every step he made around him. That bastard knew that the prince didn't have his heart in his chest so he wasn't able to rip it out.

"Just tell me where it is, boy, and nothing bad will happen."

Killian growled and gritted his teeth, his eyes never leaving the other man, especially not when he stood right in front of him. He felt the other put his hand around his neck, applying pressure, taking his breath away, but Killian didn't move at all.

"There's nothing bad you can do. I don't care what you do. You don't wanna kill me so what could be so bad? That little fire that was in the wrong room?" he said and chuckled slightly, raising an eyebrow while he felt how the grip became tighter. The Dark One leaned closer with his mad grin while Killian growled darkly at him.

"Who said it was in the wrong room?"

For a moment, Killian lost control over his face, confusion flashing through his eyes. He had planned to set the fire in her room? Why? He started to struggle against the grip around his neck and the branches, feeling how they only pressed more into his flesh, but at least the hand of the other was gone. The prince narrowed his eyes, glaring at his enemy. He wanted to ask, but he felt more like provoking him.

"So…no more killing me? No more taking revenge for taking your wife? For taking Milah away from you? Fucking her hard while you sat alone with your boy?" The branches tightened around him only more and Killian let out a scream of pain before the branches were gone and he sank on his hands and knees, breathing heavily before he was kicked so he landed on his back, a sword pressed against his throat.

"Don't do…that. You're only asking for your death."

Killian licked his lips and tasted a little blood but smirked up at the Dark One anyway. "You need my heart. You can't even kill me." He didn't know why that bastard would need his heart, but he wouldn't get it. It was safe where no one would find it. No one could tell the crocodile where it was. He always knew that any talking about Milah would break the usual control wizard had. They had history, and it was something he could use against the other. He wasn't afraid. Not at all.

Before he could say another thing, the wizard was gone, and Killian leaned his had back into the grass, taking a deep breath. He would have bruises tomorrow, but maybe he could say he had rough sex with someone, that should work. No one needed to know that he met the Dark One, especially not since Victor was the only one who knew that he was around again.

He got up and needed a moment to catch a breath, holding his side for a moment where his ribs hurt, leaning against the tree with his shoulder. The only question was why that damn monster would try to burn Emma. She hadn't anything to do with him, didn't know where his heart was, and he also couldn't say it would bother him if she would have burned alive. But why did he save her then?

He shook his head and growled when he made the first steps back to his horse before he rode back home. The moment he appeared at the castle, he could see many guards riding into the court, and he knew the king was back. Finally. They needed to talk. Now.

* * *

It was already dark and late in the night when he came back. Emma was already in bed, trying to relax and enjoy the time without him. Now that they shared a room, time alone would be quite hard. She didn't open her eyes when he came in, just kept trying to sleep, but his groan made her frown. She sat up and leaned her back against the wall, dressed in a light dress for summer nights like these while she watched him in the candle light. She had lit them so he didn't have to find his way to the bed in darkness, even if she would prefer him to sleep on the ground.

Something was wrong. She could see it in the way he moved. He didn't walk straight like always and fell into the chair at the table, reaching for the bottle of rum. He lit another candle, and she did the same with one right next to the bed before her eyes went back to him. He didn't say anything, just breathed heavily.

"Are you alright?" she asked him but didn't get an answer back. She got out of bed and walked toward him, lighting some more candles so the room was bright, mixed with the light of the full moon that came from outside. She stood in front of him but still didn't get an answer while he gulped the rum down.

Then she saw it, and her eyes widened slightly. "You're bleeding." There was a cut on his shoulder, his shirt was torn apart. For a moment she just stood there and took deep breaths, not sure what to do. The best option was probably going back to bed, but she couldn't let him sit here like this. She walked to the other side of the room, grabbed a towel and a bucket of water, and went back to him.

"Let me help you." Still no answer. He just looked down at the bottle of rum in his hands while the other arm hung down by his body. What happened? As soon as Emma reached out and tried to remove the shirt at least a bit to get to the wound, he growled and slapped her hand away. She sighed and tilted her head, putting the things down on the ground and moved to the opposite end of the table, sitting down.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Instead of answering her, he took another sip from his rum, and she rolled her eyes, reaching forward and taking the bottle away. Then he finally looked at her, and she swallowed. He looked so damn angry. "Go back to bed." Oh, he could speak. Wonderful. And his words were so nice again.

She sighed and did what he said. He didn't want her help, and she would respect that. As soon as she slipped under the covers again, she could see how he tried to get his shirt off after he emptied the rum. His growl filled the room when he wasn't able to get it off properly, apparently in too much pain for that. Emma flinched when he kicked the chair across the room, and she shook her head, getting out of bed.

When she came up behind him, he turned around, glaring at her. She took a deep breath and placed her hand on his chest, looking up at him and frowning for a moment when she couldn't feel a heartbeat before she shook her head. "Let me help you." He held her gaze, and after a moment, he dropped the hand that tried to get his shirt off. A small smile played around her lips, and she reached for the hem with both hands, trying to take his shirt off without hurting him. He growled when the fabric made contact with his wound, but he didn't move at all.

She threw the bloody fabric on the ground and took his hand. For a moment, both just looked down where her soft fingers touched his rough hand before she walked him over to the bed, pressing down the not wounded shoulder so he was sitting there, and then she moved over to get the water and the towel.

He groaned in pain when she started to clean his wound, and she could see that it was the wound left by a sword or a knife. Someone did that to him, and she needed to know who. "Who did this? What happened? Talk to me, please." She sounded almost like she would beg, and she had no idea why she actually cared, not after everything he did to her. He treated her like shit, and here she was, cleaning his wound and caring more for him than she knew.

"The king is back." He turned slightly on the bed when she sat down behind him, running the wet towel carefully over his back, cleaning it, removing the dry blood, even though his wound hadn't stopped bleeding yet. It wasn't bad, but not good either. She frowned but nodded; she had heard that his father had come back when one of the servants had entered her room.

"That's good, isn't it? So you don't have to take care of all the business alone anymore." He huffed, and she put the towel back into the water before she moved up to clean his chest from behind briefly. For a moment, it was silent in the room, she only heard their breathing, almost the same silence that had settled earlier.

"You wanted to know where these scars came from. There you go. At least some of them." She stopped immediately and turned him around to her, could see the hardness in his face. He was angry, but he didn't show it to her except through his eyes — his eyes spoke more than he did. "He did that?" Killian let out a deep breath, obviously trying to calm himself. This moment was different than all the others they had spent together. This moment was almost as intimate as they were before, just in another way.

"He's no king. He's a desperate man without a way to let it out except through war. War is his only way. And when there's no war, he starts one." Emma swallowed before she got up, feeling his eyes on her back while she looked around for a bandage to make the bleeding stop. When she came back, he had his eyes closed and his hand ran through his hair before he looked at her again. She kneeled in front of him while she applied the bandage.

His father had done this to him, and his scars told her that this was going on for a long time. Maybe since he was a kid. Maybe he had become the man he was today because of that. But could she be mad at him now after knowing that his father, the god damn king, had treated him like this? It would explain a lot, but he didn't even seem to care that much about another wound. His body was covered with them, and he said that only some of them are from the older man. He had more history than that.

When she was done with the bandage, she stood up and looked down at him. She couldn't forgive him. Not completely. He had hurt her in a way, and just because he had a sad history with his father, he couldn't use it as an excuse to act like an idiot. She had felt the same pain, long ago. Maybe she would tell him the story one day, maybe not, but in some way, she understood him. His pain was hers for at least a second, and she smiled at him before she moved around the room, blowing the candles out and then slipping back into bed.

She watched him while he sat there for a long moment before he also moved to lie down. He groaned in pain, and he turned around to her, the only way his shoulder wouldn't hurt. His eyes met hers, and they just looked at each other for a long moment. "I'm sorry," she whispered in the darkness. The moon gave them the light they needed to see each other's eyes. "Hm." Well, that could count as a reply. She smiled at him sadly one last time before she turned around, showing him her back like he had done before.

His breathing was heavier than hers. She could hear him. He wasn't moving. She closed her eyes and cursed herself before she moved back a little so her back was pressed against his chest. "What-" He wanted to say something, but she just shook her head, telling him not to talk, and so he didn't. Another groan of pain filled the room, and seconds later she could feel his arm around her. This time, she didn't even mind. They fit together perfectly, and it was scaring her.

Time passed, and she had no idea how long she was actually awake, but she knew he was awake, too. "Killian?" she asked in the darkness, hoping she was right, and he was really awake. "Hm?" She smiled when she got the reply, placing one of her hands over his on her stomach. She tangled her fingers with his, not really knowing why she did it, but right now it just felt good. In the morning, she would probably hate him again, curse him for his existence, but that was tomorrow and now was now.

"Thank you…" She swallowed slightly and wasn't quite sure if she should even end that sentence. "For saving me." She closed her eyes when she felt him pull her closer to him. "Hm." She let out a small laugh and shook her head. He was weird, but so was she. They didn't seem to be so different at last. For now.

 


	10. Chapter 10

He was rolling around in bed, to the left, to the right, too deep asleep to recognize the slight pain in his shoulder that was still there. His body was sweaty, his hair hung down in his face, and he was panting heavily.

He mumbled her name in his sleep over and over again. "Milah." Soft whispers of despair in the middle of the night while the nightmare started to eat his mind. He couldn't escape the nightmare, couldn't wake up. It was painful.

_"Killian, I love you."_

_"I know."_

_"Milah, where are you?"_

_"Milah!"_

_"NO!"_

With a thud, he landed on the floor right next to the bed, finally awake but in pain. He looked over at the bed, saw that Emma was still asleep, and sank back down on the floor, breathing heavily. He ran his hand through his sweaty hair and noticed that he was shaking. His body was doing the thing again, something he couldn't control.

Killian closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to control his mind, but it didn't work. He couldn't, his whole body was on fire, and not in the good way. He felt sick, his stomach was clenching, and his chest hurt.

In only a few seconds, he jumped to his feet and was at the other end of the room, leaning one hand against a wall while he threw up in one of the water buckets. His other hand held his stomach, and he had his eyes closed, pictures of his former love flashing before his eyes.

"No. No, god damn, no!" he growled and held his breath, trying to hold back the irritation of throwing up again. One deep breath. Two. Three. He leaned back against the cold wall, still shaking. He looked at his hands, saw them trembling, saw blood on them where no blood was. He closed his eyes and sank down against the wall, covering his face with his hands.

"Killian?" He heard her soft voice in the dark, still sleepy when she sat up and looked through the dark room. He sighed and lifted himself back on his feet, taking a few more deep breaths. "What are you doing there?" Gods, why did this girl have to ask him such questions all the time? He gritted his teeth and walked back over to the bed.

"Nothing. Sleep." For a long moment she looked at him before she sank back into the pillow with a sigh. He lied down on the bed again, taking deep breaths before he pulled the blanket back up over her, not needing one of his own. He still felt like he was going to burn alive. His shoulder hurt, his head hurt, his damn chest was killing him.

He closed his eyes while he lied on his back, trying to sleep this way because he didn't want to turn around to face her. Not now. He hoped she wouldn't remember or would think it was a dream. She didn't need to see him miserable because of something that happened a long time ago. It was the past, it didn't matter anymore. Milah was dead just like his hope. When she had died, his hope had died with her.

* * *

He hadn't been in the room when she had opened her eyes for the morning, so she had gotten ready and went out in the hallway, looking for him to make sure he was fine, even if she wasn't quite sure if it was real what she had seen that night. Maybe a dream, maybe not, but he probably wouldn't tell her anyway.

The thing she noticed was that the servants were running around the hallways with fast steps, carrying things from one place to another, everyone was in a hurry, and she didn't understand. What was going on? Flowers, decorations, dresses. She frowned slightly and shook her head while walking through the castle. Too soon for the marriage.

Emma found him standing on a small balcony from where you could see the garden. A soft smile settled on her lips before she opened the glass doors and stepped beside him. No one said anything for a while, both were just leaning over the balcony, looking down into the only calm place at the castle right now. It looked like he loved the garden as much as she did.

"What's going on here? Why is everyone in such a hurry?" she asked him eventually and looked at him. She got lost in his features — his strong cheekbones, his jaw, his stubble, and the messy hair. She got the urge to touch him, to run her hand over his face. Was it only because she felt sorry for him because of what his father had done? She didn't even know.

A huff from him pulled her out of her thoughts, and she frowned. "He arranged a ball. Lords and Ladies will arrive today, and the ball will be tonight. No one was prepared for that, so everyone is running around like dogs, doing what he says." She heard something bitter in his voice, and she swallowed. He obviously didn't realize that he was doing the same with her from time to time, treating her like a dog.

Normally, she would tell him that now, but she really didn't feel like doing that. It was peaceful, and ruining it would do nothing good. "I don't have a dress for such occassions." She chewed on her bottom lip and looked down in the garden for a moment, saw him shrugging out of the corner of her eye.

"That's why I told the servants to bring you some dresses to my room. You can see which one you like." Her eyes widened slightly, and the smile was back on her lips. She didn't know why he was being so nice to her right now. It could be a trap, or maybe he was just tired of fighting with her. Maybe sleeping in the same bed helped, maybe it was because they had been intimate with each other. She didn't know what had happened, but she didn't mind. If he was nice to her, she would be nice to him.

She took a deep breath before turning around, walking back to the door. "I'll go and look at the dresses." With these words, she vanished from the balcony, leaving him but not without looking back. What if he was actually a lion in a cage, waiting for his time to break out? He had been so angry last night, and what she had seen in his eyes had scared her, but right now he was showing none of it, and she could only hope that it would stay like this. No one needed a lion on the run.

On her way back, she used a longer way to look at the throne room that was beautifully decorated. Flowers in every corner, tables for the food, candles and everything. It almost seemed ready, but the hurry of the servants told her that there would be more and more until the King was pleased. Speaking of him, she couldn't see him, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

She smiled and turned around to get back to her room, but instead she bumped into someone and almost lost the ground under her feet, but a quick hand on her back was holding her. For a moment, she looked confused at the arm behind her, then up to the face of the person who had caught her, and a big smile appeared on her lips.

"Graham? What are you doing here?" she asked as he helped her to stand up straight. She pulled him into a hug and heard him laugh. She loved his laugh. She had missed him.

When they parted, he looked at her with his usual smirk. "Well, I heard there would be a ball here, and the King invited all the Lords and Ladies he could find. So I thought I'd take a look at how my favourite princess is doing." He winked at her, and she blushed slightly. She had grown up with this man, his father and her father were good friends, so they had spent a lot of time together as kids. There was even a time they wanted to get married as kids. Back then, it was a game, but now marriage was so real.

Graham had always seemed like he felt something for her, more than friendship, especially when they had become older and got into the age where you first fell in love. But she, on the other side, had never been sure about her own feelings. It was all so confusing given her history. She didn't trust easily, but she trusted him. The last time she had seen him was probably half a year ago at the last ball in her castle.

That's why she was even more surprised to find him here, now that she was almost married. But he was looking out for her, and it made her smile. He had always been good at making her smile and laugh, and she could really need that here.

"How long will you stay?" she asked him and hoped to have him around for a while. She got a quick shrug as an answer. "I'm not sure. Maybe until tomorrow. Maybe you can convince me to stay longer." He winked at her, and she slapped his chest playfully. "Please, I'm your princess, you have to do what I say!" She giggled slightly and grinned at him when he bowed before her. "But of course, your highness."

Emma tousled his hair before he straightened himself, looking around for a moment. "Where is your husband?" She could hear something teasing in his voice, and she just rolled her eyes, looking around for a moment herself. "He's not my husband yet, and I would prefer it to stay like that." A sigh left her mouth, and her friend could see that she wasn't happy with the thought of marrying Prince Killian, so he shot her a sad smile. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head and smiled at Graham. "It's okay. I can handle him." Well, she actually wasn't sure if she could handle him. She reached forward and linked her arm with the one of her friend and lead him out of the throne room. "How about you help me pick out a dress? Ruby is probably busy with Victor again." She chuckled briefly and got a raised eyebrow from Graham. "I'll tell you on the way." He nodded and smirked back at her.

* * *

It had taken some time for Emma to pick a dress because damn, there were so many pretty dresses. If Killian had chosen them for her, he had good taste. She had picked a red ball gown, and it fit her perfectly. Graham liked it too ,and she had already promised him a dance.

They were sitting at the table and sharing old stories with a glass of wine, laughing with each other and for the moment she felt really good and free. She hadn't much to laugh about here usually. She couldn't do that with Killian, Tink was still gone, and Ruby neglected her, being busy with her new love or whatever it was she had with Victor. That was okay, she was happy for her friend, but now and then, she felt a bit lonely.

Graham just told her a joke again and she was giggling when the door opened. Killian stood there, looking at the two with a raised eyebrow. "What is he doing here?" His voice was already an angry growl, and Emma got up from her chair just like the other man. She went over to Killian and smiled softly.

"That's Graham. He's an old friend and-"

"I know who he is. I wanna know what he's doing in here."

She saw his body tense up, and he was obviously not pleased with the fact that another man was in the room. Was he jealous? Of Graham? That was stupid, really stupid. Yes, the Lord was handsome, but she wouldn't do anything with him.

"We were just talking, it's okay." Emma tried to reach for Killian, try to calm him down with some contact like she always did, but she pulled away. He was literally glaring at the other man who hadn't said anything yet, probably intimidated by the prince.

"I guess I should go. Emma, remember your promise." He winked at her and got a smile back before he walked out of the room, his shoulder meeting Killian's for a second. Both looked after him, and she saw how he moved a hand over his chest for a moment before he turned around to her.

"Stay away from him," he said, still tensed up while he gritted his teeth, glaring at the closed door. Emma huffed and shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "No. He's my friend. Why should I stay away from him?" He growled and looked at her, taking a step closer while she took a step back, feeling the desk behind her.

"Stop asking questions, and do what I say," he hissed and narrowed his eyes, glaring at her for a long moment. She put both hands on his chest to push him away. "Stop treating me like a dog or like your pet! I can do what I want. I'm not a kid nor an animal, Killian!" Wow, this had probably been the first time she had spoken her mind so directly to him. She got a huff as an answer, and it pissed her off even more.

"So what, you're jealous now? Of an old friend? That's pathetic, really." She knew she was pushing him. She knew she was provoking him, but gods, she couldn't keep her mouth shut, not right now. There was nothing dangerous about Graham, he was an old friend, almost like an older brother, the brother she never had.

He raised an eyebrow at her, and an arrogant smirk settled on his lips. "Please. I'm not jealous. I'm looking out for you, but you can't see the enemy when he's right in front of you." She laughed, frustrated, and shook her head, going back to the dresses. "He isn't dangerous," she mumbled and took the red dress she had picked to show him, trying to change the topic.

"Do you like it?" she asked him while she held it in front of her body, but he didn't even look at her, searching for someone in his wardrobe. "Killian!" He groaned and turned around, looking at her for a moment before he nodded. "It's nice." With these words, he was done with her again, turning back to pick his own outfit for the ball.

She put the dress back and walked up behind him, looking over his shoulder into the wardrobe. "I like that one," she said and pointed with her finger at it. Blue vest, white shirt. Should look good on him. He frowned slightly and turned his head. She could feel his breath on her skin. "You think?" She smiled up at him and nodded before she took a few steps back, waiting for him to put it on so she could see if she liked it on him. Well, he could actually wear whatever he wanted and would look good in it.

He sighed and took the outfit she had chosen and also a pair of black leather pants. She had never understood why he always wore them, but she also didn't want to ask him things about his pants. Emma was about to turn around when he grabbed the hem of his shirt and went to pull it over his head. She blinked at him and got the urge to get out again. The last time she saw him with his bare back they ended up in bed.

"W-Wait you're gonna change now?" She hated that her voice sounded more panicked than it should. He couldn't do that now, it was torture. He huffed and looked at her over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at her. "It's not like you haven't seen me naked before." A light blush crept up her cheeks, and she looked away before he was able to see it. He was right about that but still, this was a completely different situation.

"Care to lend me a hand? My shoulder is still…damaged." He turned around to her and let go of the hem of his shirt, holding his arms out like he wanted to tell her to help him. Was he serious? Now she had to help him out of his clothes? "You have servants for that." She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head until she saw the look on his face. That bastard dared to pout at her!

She gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes before she moved forward and helped him out of his shirt, avoiding looking at him so she didn't see the smug grin that had settled on his lips. And for a second she ran her hands longer than necessary over his naked skin, through his dark chest hair while he let his arms fall down again.

"There you go," she growled at him and knew too well that she was blushing. "What about my pants?" She could literally hear the smugness in his voice, and she wished she could just slap him. Or push him against something to kiss him. Wait, what? No. Wrong thoughts. Especially now they were very, very wrong. "I'm sure you can handle your pants alone. You're a big boy, aren't you?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and seemed to be amused, rocking his hips slightly forward so her eyes fell down and oh great. Ohhh great! His little -okay huge - friend was calling for freedom. Literally. "Killian, what is… _that_." She pointed at his bulge like she had never seen it before, and he started to laugh. This time, it was different. It was almost genuine. She couldn't help but smile for a second before his voice pulled her back into reality.

" _That_  is your fault, actually. Now, are you going to help me out of the pants or not?" He was way too amused with this situation. He was so bold, and she hated him for it. Why wasn't he a cute and shy man who would blush instead of rubbing his erection in her face? Not literally, of course. At least not yet. Oh god, what was wrong with her. Or him.

"Why are you even wearing leather pants all the time? It's like you're yelling 'Oh look, here is my cock, look at how huge it is!'" she asked him with a sarcastic tone when she started to fumble with the laces of his pants. Why she helped him, even though she knew he could do it alone? She had no idea. Probably because she was weak, and he was a handsome bastard.

"Oh, so you think my cock is huge?" He raised an eyebrow, and the cocky grin was back on his lips while he leaned back against the closed side of his wardrobe, rocking his hips up slightly against her hand. She could feel him and no, this was bad. He started again, and she knew once he started she wouldn't be able to get out of it anymore.

"No! I mean…not like that." She was stumbling over her own words now, and she just wanted to die. That was embarrassing. "Care to elaborate?" he asked her with a chuckle, and she glared up at him for a second before her eyes went back down to his laces. "I'm not going to stroke your ego," she grumbled the words out and shoved his pants down. Thank god he knew what undergarments were. She could have bet some gold that he didn't wear any, but good for her that he did.

"You can stroke something else if you want." Why was she even surprised he said that line? And yes, her eyes might be focused on that huge thing that was hidden in the undergarments, and no she wouldn't. He moved to get out of the pants, standing almost naked in front of her and damn, it did things it shouldn't do to her.

"In your dreams," she huffed at him and shook her head, grabbing for the other pair of pants. She moved into a squatting position so he could step into the pants, and no, she wouldn't look up. No. Damn her. It was right in front of her. Emma swallowed and licked her lip before she heard him chuckle.

"Go ahead, Princess." He rolled the last word over his tongue, and it sounded declicious. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she pulled his pants up fast, and she knew it would hurt his friend between his legs at least a little bit. He only let out an amused huff instead of screaming in pain, but it was better than nothing.

She smiled innocently at him and wanted to reach for the other clothes when he caught her wrist. "You should be careful. You shouldn't hurt something that will make you happy one day." He winked before he reached into the wardrobe for her, handing her the outfit before he lifted his arms again. Yeah, happy. She wouldn't be happy with him, not now, not after the marriage, not ever. He wasn't someone she could fall in love with. He was handsome and talented and sometimes even funny but no. He wasn't her type, he had secrets, a dark side he couldn't control. Would probably end up like his father.

After she closed the last button of his vest, she took a step back, inspecting her work before she nodded, pleased. Yes, he looked good and maybe she would even dance with him. "Thank you, Princess." She smiled up at him, but it was a smile of mischief, and he saw that, raising an eyebrow at her, a silent question on his face. Time for payback.

"You know, I could use help with my dress." She whistled at him while she walked over to the red ballgown, holding it out to him. "It has some laces on the back I can't knot myself." He went toward her and took her dress while she was shrugging out of her own dress for the every day life. She stood with her bare back toward him, and she could feel his gaze on her. She smiled slightly and didn't even want to know what was going on in his head right now.

He handed her the few things she needed before she finally put the dress on. It was actually impressive that he hadn't touched her like she thought - maybe even hoped - he would. He also was so quiet that she was almost worried something was wrong with him. "The laces, Killian." She looked over her shoulder at him while she moved her hair over her other shoulder. He was staring at her instead of making a move. Was something wrong?

She frowned before she cleared her throat again. "Killian!" Only now his gaze snapped to her eyes like he had been in his thoughts for a long time. "The laces," she said with a soft voice and he swallowed, gave her a little nod and took a step closer, closing her dress. Every time his finger tips brushed against her skin, she shivered slightly. She kind of missed his touch all over her. Wait no, this was so wrong. She shook her head slightly before he took a step back, and she turned around to him.

Emma gave him a small smile while she twirled around one time. "And? Do you still think it's nice?" Again, he didn't answer her and got that staring look. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" she said a little louder, and he cleared his throat, nodding slightly. "Looks…good for a ball." The way his hand moved in front of his face and he turned around immediately made her think for a second that there was a small blush on his cheeks, but that was impossible…right?

"I'll go now. See you at the ball. Don't forget, the first dance will be ours." He sounded serious again, and it was almost sad because that man would look really cute with a blush on his cheeks. But that wasn't him, right? Prince Killian didn't blush. He wasn't that kind of a man. Before she could say something to him, he was already out of the door, and she let out a sigh. What was wrong with him?

 


	11. Chapter 11

Instead of going to the throne room, he went straight to the burned wing, looking around one time before he entered it, walking past the destroyed rooms. He could almost hear the voices scream, his victims who died because he wanted his step mother to die. His breathing became faster, the world started to spin for a second, and he put a hand on the wall to brace himself, stopping the fall. What the hell was that? He pressed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, and then kept walking. He was losing control, and his body ached.

He literally fell into the old room of his brother, falling to his knees with a gasp. He felt dizzy, everything was turning and spinning around him. Closing his eyes didn't help. He let out a growl and punched the hard wood under him, feeling the pain in his hand. After a few seconds, he rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the buzz in his head to vanish.

What was this bullshit? He had no idea what just happened, but he knew he had never felt like this before. Never so helpless, and for a second, he blamed her. Her beauty. Her tenderness. Her everything. Just the fact that she seemed to care about him. This was wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to break under his dominance so she was willing to do whatever he said. She was supposed to be his wife one day who kept her mouth shut. He just wanted her kingdom, nothing else.

He wasn't supposed to feel like this. Actually, he wasn't supposed to feel at all without his heart. That witch had taken his happiness, his love, and everything else away from him, only leaving darkness and pain. The few weeks he had with Milah had made him…different for the first time. He had felt things he wasn't supposed to feel, but they were also connected to a lot of pain, to nightmares, to things that made him feel bad again. And after her death, he had fallen back into the darkness that she had pulled him out of.

Since Emma had arrived, things had happened, so many. The Dark One was back, apparently because of her. At least he had tried to kill her. But then he was also here because of his heart and bloody hell, he couldn't put the pieces together. Thinking about such things hurt. He shouldn't care about it at all. He moved his hand to his chest, right above the place where his heart should be. Where other people would feel a heartbeat, he only felt a void. A void left by selfishness and cruelty.

He wasn't supposed to be alive. He should have died long ago because his heart was rotting more and more every day. He shouldn't have grown older than sixteen, maybe seventeen. His body was supposed to be under the earth, being eaten my insects so only his bones remained. But here he was, alive without a heart and feeling never ending pain in a life called war.

Killian sighed and got up, walking toward the hidden door Emma had found when she was there the first time. He ran his hand over it before he unlocked and opened it, walking inside. It was dark, but he knew the way down the vault. As soon as he was there in the round room, he lit a few torches and sat down in a chair, looking at the box in the middle of the room. It was such a cliche to put his heart into a vault to protect it, but what other choice did he have?

It wasn't his favourite place. He didn't like being close to his heart, mostly because of the reason that he could hear it. He could hear every single heartbeat, almost like it was beating in his own chest. It was locked away right in front of him, and he hated it. He closed his eyes and listened to it for a few seconds before he got up and walked over.

He stared down at the wooden chest before he opened it, looking at the disgusting piece of meat inside. It wasn't anything else anymore. A piece of meat that you would feed your dogs or cats. It didn't even look like a heart anymore. It was black and rotten and utterly disgusting. He could see it move, pounding every few seconds, and it was so god damn loud in his head that he felt the need to run outside.

"Tell me what to do, brother," he whispered and closed his eyes for a moment, the scenes of the death repeating in front of his eyes.

_ "Liam!" he screamed loudly through the forest. _

_ Killian ran over to his brother who was falling to the ground right at that moment, but he was able to catch him. Blood ran out of his mouth, but a weak smile was still on his lips. The young prince didn't know what to do, could only shake his brother's body, whispering words of encouragement to him. _

_ "We will fix it. You'll survive," he said while his voice started to break. _

_ But Liam knew better and shook his head. The pain in his body became too much. Killian could feel his brother getting weaker and weaker with every second, and tears gathered in his eyes. _

_ "You can't leave me! Not with him! I can't lose you too!" _

_ Instead of saying something, Liam put his hand over the heart of his younger brother, and Killian held his breath for a moment. _

_ "I won't leave you. Just like mother, I'll always be right here," his brother said, and his voice was soft but weak, not afraid, not like Killian. Liam applied pressure to his chest, right where his heart was pounding fast. _

_ "Always in your heart, little brother." _

_ He used his last breath to whisper these words before his body became heavy, and he closed his eyes while he continued to smile. Killian saw his tears fell down on his brother's face, and he pulled the dead body close to him. _

The prince remembered how he had held his brother like this for hours, even after the guards had found them, he hadn't want to let go of his brother. His words ran through his head over and over again, and that was the only reason why he came here, in this vault, to visit his brother. He had said he would never leave him and stay in his heart, and here they were.

He felt sick while he looked down at the piece of meat before he reached forward and took it. It wasn't the first time he had held his heart in his hands, thinking about just crushing it, but he was too selfish to do that. He wanted the kingdom, he wanted power, and above all, he wanted revenge for everything. After that he would be reunited with his family, maybe.

His heart looked worse than the last time, and he swallowed, applying light pressure to it, and he felt it right in his body, in his bones, even his mind hurt. He gasped when the pain ran through him before he threw it back into the box, breathing heavily. What was he even doing here? Why was he here? He didn't even know. He was looking for answers for questions he didn't know. Trying to figure things out about something he didn't understand. He was looking for peace in a world that was drowning in war while his own mind was consumed by a darkness he couldn't control.

* * *

Emma made her way down to the throne room, meeting a lot of people who were also on their way. Right in front of the open door she saw Ruby and Victor and walked toward them with a big grin on her lips.

"My princess," said Victor and bowed slightly, a light redness on his cheeks when he saw her look at him and then at Ruby, who just groaned at her. "Don't look at us like that, come on, I don't want to be the last one!" She grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her inside of the big room.

Flowers, lights, food and many people. Lords and Ladies were talking, making new alliances or dalliances, depending on who was talking to whom. When she was younger, she had loved balls like this, but the older she got, the less she liked them. In the end, she always had to find a perfect suitor to marry and was annoyed by all of it.

"Did you know Graham was here?" she asked her brown-haired friend next to her and got a nod as an answer. "I met him a few minutes ago. I'm so happy he's here!" Emma laughed softly and was about to say something when she felt a hand on her back, turning her head to the side where she could see Killian, looking forward to where his father was standing up from his throne. She could see in the face of the prince how his features hardened, and she could understand why.

The king was making a speech about how grateful he was that everyone was there, and that he hoped they would enjoy the ball. He also added a few words about her and Killian, and she just smiled at all the people who were looking at them before she felt another hand close around hers.

"Told you, first dance is ours." He pulled her with him, and she followed to the middle of the big throne room. All eyes were on them while he placed her hand on his shoulder, a small smirk on his lips. "Afraid?" he asked her, and she huffed at him, shaking her head. "Please. I've done this a thousand times." Well, she did it a lot, dancing with people at a ball, but she actually never shared a dance with someone while everyone was looking. Normally, her parents had started the first dance before other people had joined them.

She swallowed slightly when the musicians began to play, and he pulled her closer to his body. His scent was all over her when they started to move, and it made it hard to concentrate. "Focus, Princess." Her eyes snapped up to him, and she realized her gaze had gone around to all the people. Now, she was looking into his deep blue eyes, and she couldn't hold the small smile back that settled on her lips. When he looked like this, he didn't seem to be dangerous. The little voice in her head who always told her to get away from him was gone for the moment.

The longer they danced, the more she forgot everything around them. She was just looking at him, at his eyes, his lips, the scar on his face, his stubble, just everything that caught her attention. He was still tense, his jaw clenched from time to time, and he could only give her a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. At least he was trying to keep calm around his father. She was okay with it, he was just doing what he had to.

Other couples joined to dance around them, and when the music became slower, he pulled her closer once again, and she rested her head on his shoulder for a moment, not quite sure why. It felt good, for now, but then she felt him shaking. She lifted her head to look at him and saw how he was glaring at someone or something. "Are you alright?" she asked him softly, and his eyes fell back to her, and he nodded. Emma sighed; she knew that he wasn't, but he still wouldn't open up to her.

After a few more steps, she followed his eyes and could see where he was looking. She let out an annoyed groan when she saw that he was looking at Graham who was leaning against a wall with a glass in his hand, watching them. "Are you serious? Stop glaring at him." Her voice wasn't more than a whisper, but she knew that he could hear her. He looked at her and raised an eyebrow, gritting his teeth. "Don't tell me what to do," he growled at her, and she was done with him.

She had no desire to put up with his shit and especially not when it was about her best friend. She let go of his grip and pushed him away slightly, walking over to Graham and leaving Killian alone on the dance floor. Hell, she knew that the prince wouldn't like this at all, but she wanted to show him that she wouldn't just take all of his crap. Graham had done nothing wrong.

While she went over to Graham, she could literally feel Killian's death glare on her back, and she knew this wasn't a good sign, maybe even dangerous because she had still no idea what he was capable of. She smiled at Graham when she was in front of him, taking the glass out of his hand and putting it down on the table.

„You promised me a dance, Mylord. I hope you remember that," she said in a playfully tone, and he laughed, taking her hands in his and smiling back. "I doubt your husband likes that idea. He's been glaring at me for a while now." Emma just shook her head and shrugged, pulling him toward the place where all the other people were dancing. "Not my husband and I don't care about him. He's possessive, but he doesn't own me. He needs to learn that. Now come on, I want to share a dance with my best friend!" With these words, she had completely pulled him into the crowd of people.

Killian was watching them in the meanwhile, leaning against a pillar. He could feel his anger boiling in his blood, and he didn't even really know why he was so angry. He just didn't like this guy, and something about him was wrong. He had felt it when he had bumped into his shoulder, the void in his chest had ached, but he couldn't tell what it was.

He took a sip from his wine and watched them, and he would love to go over there and punch him right in the face. She belonged to him and he didn't like when anyone touched his possessions. A deep growl left his throat, and he grabbed behind him without watching, catching Ruby's arm before he walked around the pillar.

"What do you want?" she hissed at him, trying to get out of his grip, but he only held her tighter. He took another long sip from his rum, looking over to Emma and Graham before he focused back on the girl in front of him. "I want you to tell me about him." He nodded toward the Lord, and Ruby raised an eyebrow, shaking her head.

"I already told you enough, I'm not playing your spy." He tightened his grip and heard her whimper in pain, raising an eyebrow at her. "You're hurting me." He shrugged and grinned darkly, leaning forward a bit. "I know. And I can break your bloody arm if you don't start talking." His voice was a deep growl, and he could see the horror in Ruby's eyes for a moment before she sighed and nodded. He let go of her and tilted his head, waiting for her to answer.

"I really don't know what to tell you about him. They've been friends for a long time. They wanted to marry, and I think they shared their first kiss together. He was in love with her once, and I'm not sure if he's still in love with her, but she never had the same feelings for him, I think." While she spoke he tensed up more and more, clenching his hand into a fist. She noticed but sighed softly, shaking her head. "Please, don't do anything stupid. He's a good man."

No, he wasn't, something was wrong about him, and it was driving Killian insane not to know it. His gaze fixed back on the Lord who was still dancing with Emma and another growl left his throat. "Can I…go?" Ruby asked him, and he just nodded without looking at her. He was wondering if that girl was really so afraid of him that she told him everything. At least he hadn't had to use Victor for blackmailing this time. He just hoped she would keep her mouth shut.

Killian didn't realize how tightly his grip got around the glass until it shattered in his hand. He could feel the pain in his palm when the pieces of glass cut his skin, but he didn't care, not even when the blood started to to run down his hand. He was in a rage and didn't know how to make it stop, but he had to leave before anyone noticed. One last glare toward Emma and Graham, and he was out of the throne room.

Emma hadn't noticed his last look at her, busy dancing and talking with her old friend, but as soon as Killian was out of the room, she felt the death glare gone from her back. She raised her head which she had rested on Graham's shoulder and looked around. She frowned when she couldn't see Killian.

"We'll keep dancing later, alright? I think Killian left and I don't want him to do anything stupid," she told him as an excuse, and he understood. She was grateful he didn't ask more questions, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and walked outside of the throne room and over to Victor.

"Did you see Killian? I think he left and…" She wasn't quite sure how to end that sentence. And what? She was worried about him? She wanted him around? She wanted to be with him? Gods, she didn't even know, but Victor just smirked at her. "He left a few minutes ago. I think he went toward his room, but I'm not sure."

Emma nodded, shot him a smile, and then walked the empty halls to his room. It was actually their room, but she still wasn't used to it. She wasn't used to any of it, not used to him, but here she was, going after him because he vanished without a word, and after seeing the looks he had given her while she was dancing with Graham, he had her all worried.

She walked up to their room and opened it without another thought but stopped immediately when she realized what was there right in front of her. His pants hung low under his ass while he was moving his hips in a brutal pace. She could also see his hand pressed down between the shoulder blades of a woman, a servant she assumed, who was whimpering and moaning while his noises were nothing more than grunts of anger.

Only the loud scream of the woman pulled her back into reality, and she clenched her thighs together for a second before she threw the door completely open. "Killian! What the hell are you doing?!" She knew that he heard her, and it looked like the woman wanted to raise her body, but he pressed her down more with a deep, warning growl and kept thrusting inside of her.

Emma walked forward and pulled him back by his shoulders, afraid he might hurt the servant. It surprised her that he actually let her pull him back. She looked at the other woman in disgust and shook her head. "Leave now." Only a second later the black haired girl was gone, closing the door behind her, and Emma slapped him hard across the face so his red cheek was right in front of her, and she could see the red print of her hand while she tried to keep her eyes up at his face and not down at his hard length. "What the hell were you thinking?! You could have hurt her!"

He said nothing, pulled his pants up, and was about to leave, but she grabbed his arm. She felt him shaking with anger. "For gods sake, Killian, what is wrong with you!?" This was it. He snapped. He grabbed her arm and threw her on the table, bending her over, his mouth close to her ear. "What is wrong with me? Well, I'm sorry, but a certain princess won't let me fuck her, so I have to get it somewhere else." He put his hand between her shoulder blade like he had with the woman before, and Emma hissed when a brief pain shot through her.

"And you were busy with your beloved lord anyway, so why the fuck do you care?" Yeah, why did she even care? He could actually do what he wanted, but seeing him being with that woman had made her mad. Someday he would be king, probably with a mistress because she wasn't enough. She had never been enough, and she hated that feeling.

He growled close to her ear and raised his hand. Emma used the moment to turn around, but he grabbed her throat so she stopped moving immediately. "Gods, so you're really jealous of Graham? I'm not yours! I'm not your possession!" He tightened his grip, and she gasped, still believing he wouldn't hurt her.

"Oh, you think that, Princess? Sorry to disappoint you, but you are mine and only mine, and I hate it when other people play with my toys." His voice wasn't more than a dark growl, and she tried to push him away but failed, his hands catching her wrists. She grimaced in pain when his tight grip closed around them. He nudged her knees apart with his leg and settled between them while she was sitting on the desk.

"Gods, I hate you!" She literally spit the words at him, and instead of another reply, he just started to laugh, pure darkness in his eyes. She felt the fear creeping up her spine because she had seen a similar face back in the burned wing but never like this. "So you hate me? Don't want to be around me anymore? Do you want to be free from me? From all of this?"

"Yes! Hell, yes! I'm so sick of you and your god damn attitude! You treat me like a dog, like one of your toys, but I'm not! I'm sick of putting up with your shit, and I hate being stuck in here with you I-" She stopped when he put one of her wrists in his other hand, holding her wrists with one while his hand reached over the table, grabbing a dagger. Only then she realized what she said, and for a second, she was afraid for her life.

But instead of doing something to her like she had thought he pressed the handle of the knife between her hands and held it to his throat. "Then kill me. End it. Save yourself." The tip of the sharp blade was already on his skin. He still held her hands with his. She couldn't pull away and could see how a little blood began to run down his neck.

"What?" she gasped and stared at his neck before her eyes snapped to his face. She just had to move her hands forward, he would let her. He wanted her to kill him. This was messed up, so messed up. Tears gathered in her eyes, and she shook her head, trying to get rid of his grip, rid of the weapon in her hand.

"I don't want to kill you! I want you to change so this whole thing can work for our kingdoms!" He just laughed, shaking his head while he clenched his jaw and glared down at her. "I can't change. People don't change. They become only more of what they are, reveal who they really are, and right now is your chance to end my life to get you a better one. Don't waste it." She had no idea what to think anymore. People could change, could become a better person, so could he. Or maybe he was one of the rare exceptions. He did kill people, probably more than she knew of. Maybe he had to pay for his sins.

"No. I won't kill you." Her words were low and almost a whisper while she looked down, saw tears fall down on the ground while he still held her hands, dagger pressed to his neck. He growled and let go, throwing the dagger away. "Then accept you're mine." He leaned over her so that her back was on the table now, and she swallowed, looking up at him. She didn't know what it was, but his face changed, and for a moment he just looked at her. She was shaking and trembling, unable to hold the fear back anymore. She was afraid of him, and it was so dumb, but she couldn't stop it, as much as she couldn't stop the tears.

"Leave." She frowned and sobbed, swallowing while she was still holding his gaze. She had thought he would just take her now to let his anger out, using her how he wanted since he had just told her again that she was his. She opened her mouth to say something, but he took a step back, his eyes never leaving her. "Leave! Get the fuck out of here!" She wanted to ask why, wanted to know what changed his mind, but she just moved the back of her hand over her eyes before she got out of the room as fast as possible.

* * *

After she had gotten out of his room, she hadn't known where to go, but she didn't want to be around people, so she had left the castle, walking through the garden to a small lake that was farther away from the castle. She could still see the lights from here, but there was no one, not even guards were around. She had sat down on a jetty and sobbed a little. Her eyes were burning. She still felt his grip around her neck, and her wrists were hurting. She would probably get bruises there, and she would have to wear gloves to hide them, in the middle of the summer.

She didn't know what was so wrong with him. During their dance he had been so…different. Gentle and…she didn't even know how to describe it. The way he had looked at her, how he had touched her. During the dance, everything was better, but as soon as she had dragged Graham to dance, he had totally changed, and she didn't know why. And then when he had been in the room with that servant.

Emma swallowed and bit her bottom lip, trying to get the thoughts out of her head. Worse enough that it had affected her more than she wanted to admit. For a moment, she had wished she was that woman under him but no, it was wrong, she didn't even know if she had given her permission or if he- She shook her head again, didn't want to think about such things. She needed to calm down and go back before someone came looking for her. The feeling of being jealous was absolutely not right, and she shouldn't feel it at all, not with him, not after what she had seen.

Hell, she didn't even know what to think anymore. He had wanted her to kill him, to slam a dagger in his throat, to free herself. But to free from what? From the marriage? From him? From something way worse? She didn't understand how he could change so fast, how he could be the vulnerable man she had met when he had come back after the fight with his father, then the flirty man he had been during the dressing, and then this…animal during their fights. This dark and dangerous person she had met the first time while she had been in the burned wing.

Emma didn't know who of them was the real Killian, didn't know how many masks he had. She didn't know what he was hiding. She laughed at the thought that she had to marry this man, sooner or later. He was possessive, he was an asshole, he had treated her like shit, even hurt her a little, but she was still wondering why he had let her go. It wasn't like she had a chance against him. In fact, he could do what he wanted and get away with it because he was the prince. He could even get away with murder, and no one would care, too afraid to raise their voice against their future king.

Right now, she was disgusted and confused, wishing she could get the thoughts out of her head about how he had held her in bed, pleasured her with his tongue, how he had touched her, because right now she didn't want to think about it, but it was also something that was always present. She always thought about it. His touch was burned on her skin, and she could feel it. Always. He had left an invisible mark, and she hated that she still wanted him in some kind of twisted way. She hated herself. Gods, she was disgusting. He had his little toys, the servants who bent over when he wanted. He didn't need her for these things.

The princess took a deep breath and looked up to the stars and the moon, trying to think of something else, but no matter what she was trying to think of, she always ended with thinking about him, what he had done, and what was wrong with him. Did he regret what he had done? Did he feel sorry about it? Would he apologize? Would he go on with his shit? What would he do after what she had told him? And why had he given her the chance to kill him? Why would he want to die?

She ran her hand through her hair and didn't know an answer to any of those questions. It was driving her nuts. After she took a deep breath, she got up and was about to go back to the castle, maybe finding Ruby to talk, maybe even Tink, or maybe she would just go into his room with the hope that he had returned to the ball.

When she was about to make her way back, she saw two shadows a little ways away, and she narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out who it was, but she couldn't see anything. Maybe only guards. She shook her head briefly before she walked closer, seeing one person push the other one to the ground, and they rolled around in the grass. So no guards at all. She walked a little faster, and her breath got stuck in her lungs when she saw that the shadows belonged to Killian and Graham who were rolling around in the grass, hitting each other.

"Stop!" she yelled and lifted her dress a little so she could run faster until she stood right next to them, not quite sure what to do. Killian took some hits and groaned, then he rolled the other man over, hitting Graham in the face. Emma yelled for guards, but both men totally ignored her and no guards were coming. It was way too fast how they were rolling through the dirt, and it was so dark, she didn't know what was happening and who took more hits.

In the end, Killian sat on top of Graham and was punching him in the face a few times when Emma took her chance and pulled him back by his shoulder. "Killian! Stop!" Gods, she had enough of him after everything that had happened tonight. For a moment, he kept punching Graham's face while Emma was still trying to get him off of the other man.

"Killian, please!" she begged, and he stopped, his bloody fist still in the air while he seemed to stare down at the Lord for a long moment before Emma used her chance to take him off guard and pull him away. In seconds, she was kneeling next to Graham, looking down at his bloody face. One of his eyes had already swollen, and it was his nose that was broken. He looked bad, really bad, and his chest was barely rising and falling. She took him into her arms, lifting him slightly off the ground.

"Graham, can you hear me?" She shook him briefly while she heard Killian groaning next to her. She looked over at him laying in the grass, obviously hurt, but she didn't care about him, not right now. Her eyes turned back to Graham who was coughing, blood coming out of his mouth. She wiped a strand of his hair out of his face and looked over him all worried.

"We need to get you up so someone can take care of it." She could feel how his body got heavier in her arms, and she shook him harder, tears gathering in her eyes again, and within seconds, he stopped breathing. For a moment, she looked down at the dead man in her arms. Her eyes widened in shock before she looked at Killian who was trying to get up, holding the left side of his body like his ribs were hurt.

"You…you killed him."

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

He had lost control over his own body, and he hated it. In moments like this, the darkness consumed him, and he had no control over what he was doing. Or did he? He didn't even know. It was like his personality had split, that he had two sides, two personalities now, one more dangerous than the other. All he knew for sure was that he shouldn't have treated her like that. It had been wrong, and he had seen the fear in her eyes. She was afraid of him, and that was what had stopped him. The fear in her eyes, the tears on her cheeks — it had made him stop, and he didn't know why she had this effect on him.

A while ago, he wouldn't have complained about that. She was just a woman he had to marry to unite the kingdoms, just another toy in the game of thrones and power. He had played this game ever since his brother had died and he was going to be king. But since she had been there, something had changed. His greed for power had vanished when she was involved, reminding him about things he had long forgotten.

He leaned against the table and looked at the closed door, wondering where she went. He could still feel her wrists in his hand, and his cheek still hurt from when she slapped him across the face. Probably her right. But on the other side, why did she care who he fucked? They weren't married yet, he didn't belong to her, she didn't make the rules in his castle, so he could have fun with anyone he wanted to, and he had really needed to get the anger out of his system, and he was quite sure that she didn't want to be the one who had to take his anger.

Anger that was actually caused by her. He wasn't jealous. He had never been jealous. He didn't know how it felt. That was what he told himself. The void of darkness that was there since the witch had taken his heart just got bigger and bigger every day. Milah had stopped it for a while, and sometimes, he even missed her. His Milah. The first woman who had made him feel something he couldn't describe, but she died too soon, was murdered too soon by the Dark One. He hadn't have enough time to answer questions that were burning on his tongue.

His hand clenched into a fist, and a growl came out of his throat just thinking about how he had held the woman he…loved during her death. Did he love her? He couldn't love, it was impossible, but there had been something between him and Milah, something that had been good, and the Dark One had taken it from him just like that, ripped her heart out and crushed it right in front of him, and he swore he would kill that bloody demon one day.

All of these plans had been put on hold when the king had told him that he had found a match for him, and only a week later, Emma had arrived and had turned his world upside down, and he knew that he did the same for her. An unamused laugh left his mouth when he thought about what she had said, that she hated him and wanted to be free from him. Freedom. The only thing he had always wanted, but he was trapped in this castle, heir to a throne he never wanted, not really.

But the older he got, the more power he had wanted, caused by the darkness that was running through his veins, something he couldn't stop. He had become a killer, a murderer, a sinner, and he probably could never make up for it. He didn't want to, didn't feel regret even if he should, but he just couldn't.

Killian sighed and shook his head. People don't change. He would forever be that man that hated himself in a way he didn't understood, and one day, the darkness would consume him fully and turn him into a monster. He wouldn't even mind, monsters got killed, and he would be happy to get out of all the crap he got into. Reunited with Milah in some world that came after death. If there was even something.

Maybe he would die during his last quest to kill the Dark One, who knew. He had been surprised by the fact that Emma didn't kill him. He had given her the chance, but she didn't use it. She could have gone home to her family. Could have been happy. He wanted her happy. Did he? He didn't know. He was confused over what was going on in his mind.

He let out another growl, ran his hand through his hair and walked toward the door with the urge to find her. He should apologize or something like that, he had hurt her and yelled at her and…it wasn't right. With a sigh, he walked out in the halls, asking a few guards if they had seen the princess before he got the information that she was outside. He walked in the direction where he knew the little lake was, but he had just managed to cross the little bridge that was over a small river that marked the end of the garden when he saw someone. Lord Graham.

The prince groaned loudly and could only figure he was looking for Emma too. Damn bastard. He had no idea why the presence of the other man made him so angry, but he knew that something was wrong with the other. Ever since he had bumped into him he had felt the ache in his chest every time he had seen her and whenever that happened, something was going on, and it wasn't good.

"You should be at the ball," he told Graham and tried to sound at least a little polite, but he just got a raised eyebrow as an answer and a shrug. "I wanted to see where Emma went after she had wanted to check on you, your highness." Killian raised an eyebrow and took a few steps forward so he could see Graham better.

"She's none of your business anymore. Stay away from her." His voice had turned into a growl. He didn't like the situation. Something was wrong, and he could feel it. It was almost like the whole atmosphere around them changed. Graham let out a groan and shook his head.

"You know, you really have the talent to show up at the most…unwanted moments, dearie." Killian opened his eyes at these words and wanted to draw out his sword before he realized that he had left it in his room. "No sword? Poor boy." Graham grinned at him, and the prince let out another deep and warning growl.

"So what now? You stole the heart of a Lord to sneak up to the ball? To do what?" he asked and clenched his hand into a fist, looking at the other person with a death glare. It was no other than the Dark One, controlling the Lord, speaking through him. He didn't even want to know how that bastard got to the heart. "I just wanted to talk to the princess."

Killian huffed. "Sure, if I remember right you tried to bloody murder her!" He swallowed and didn't know what to do. He didn't want to hurt Graham, at least not that badly, but he had no other choice when the Dark One was going to hurt Emma. He gritted his teeth and watched the other man carefully.

"Oh, you're right. Maybe I wanted to finish it before you showed up. Who knows." Killian's eyes widened some more, and he stepped right in front of Graham, biting his bottom lip before he pushed him away a bit. He didn't know what to do. The Dark One had his heart and could do with that man whatever he wanted. "If you hurt her, I'll rip you apart!" he growled but only got a laugh as an answer.

"You said that after I killed Milah, and here I am, still alive. You're too weak. You'll never make it. And you're quite a bit overprotective for someone without a heart, eh? Did I miss something?" He bit down on his bottom lip hard again and swallowed, trying to control his anger, hating the Dark One for bringing up Milah. But his words were right. He had been too weak to protect Milah, and now he wanted to protect Emma for reasons he couldn't explain. It was like an instinct.

He clenched his jaw and tried to figure out a plan, but it was too late. A fist made contact with his jaw, and he stumbled backward before the other man pushed him to the ground and started punching him in the face.

Killian growled and tried to wiggle out of the tight grip before he was able to move his knee up far enough to kick Graham, rolling them over. He couldn't punch him, but he didn't have a choice because in the next second he took another hit in the face, and he fell off into the grass with a groan. Graham grabbed his collar and punched him in the face some more before Killian threw them over again.

He started to punch him, still having the thought to stop when the other man couldn't move anymore. This was so wrong. The Dark One had had Graham's heart the whole time. This was the weird feeling he had gotten as soon as he had touched Graham. That god damn bastard. He punched the other man again before he got a kick in the stomach.

After a while, he didn't know what was going on anymore. He got punched and kicked. He gave them back, they were rolling in the dirt, and he could hear a female voice calling for them to stop. Emma? Gods, she had seen them. For a moment, he saw her standing there when he took another hit in the face, could feel blood running over his skin.

He was in rage. He couldn't stop himself when he rolled Graham over again, sat on top of him, and just started punching his face over and over again. He heard how she called for him to stop. Didn't she understand he just wanted to protect her? Another punch to Graham's face, and he got back another kick but ignored it, only hissing in pain. Now that she was here, close to the enemy under him, he couldn't take the chance that she could get hurt.

Only when he heard her begging for him to stop, heard the desperation in her voice, did he stop, holding his bloody fist in the air while he stared down at the other man. What had he done? It looked like he had broken the nose of Graham and there was blood everywhere, and his face was swollen, but he was alive, breathing heavily under him.

In the next moment, Emma has pulled him away and his back hit the ground again, a groan leaving his throat. He lifted himself up on his forearms to look at how Emma took Graham into her arms. No, this was so wrong. It wasn't Graham any longer, it was the Dark One playing his games with both of them. Was this his goal? Separating them? She would certainly hate him now for beating up Graham.

His hand moved to his side, feeling the pain in his ribs. He had trouble with breathing while he tried to get up. He coughed and saw blood coming out of his mouth. This wasn't good at all. He was kneeling on the ground, one hand in the grass, literally grabbing it while he tried to hold himself up. The other hand was on his ribs, looking over at the other two people before he heard her words.

"You…you killed him."

His eyes widened. No, no, this wasn't possible. He didn't kill him! He crawled over to the two and looked at Graham, but he really had stopped breathing. He shook his head, one time, two times, coughing again. "I didn't kill him!" he panted, looking at Emma and seeing a tear run down her cheek.

He got up slowly and looked down at them. That man didn't die because of a few hits he had taken. Was it possible that the Dark One crushed his heart and killed him in that way in the right moment? Killed him like he had killed Milah? Gods, he hated that crocodile. He put a hand on Emma's shoulder, but she pulled away before she got up.

"This is your fault! You beat him up like this!" She yelled at him, not even trying to keep her voice down and pointed down at the dead man. He wanted to say something, but she slapped him again, not caring about his already wounded face. "I should have killed you when I had the chance. Graham would have been alive then!"

He could feel the anger coming back, and he bit his bottom lip, shaking slightly while he tried to control it, keeping his mouth shut so he could actually think about his words before he just threw something at her. "You're a murderer!" His eyes snapped back to her face, and he shook his head, even through he knew she was right, not just in this one case.

"I didn't kill him! The Dark One had his heart, he controlled him, crushed it, and killed him at the right moment! He wanted to hurt you! I protected you!" The words just spilled out of him in pure desperation, so much for thinking. It was the truth, but the way her face changed told him that she didn't believe him. She slapped him again, pushing him in the chest to get more distance between them.

"Do you even hear yourself talking?! Stop making excuses for what you did! You're a monster! You killed Graham, and you fucked that servant like an animal. Did she even agree, or did you just take her?!" She was still yelling in anger, trying to mourn the death of her friend, and he could see how hurt she was, and he had no idea how to make it better.

"I would never take a woman without permission, otherwise I would have taken you long ago! Don't make accusations without knowing what's going on! I might be a murderer but not in this case! Please, believe me. I can prove it!" He saw her frown at him, and he hated how desperate his voice actually sounded. He shouldn't care what she thought about him, shouldn't care if that man was actually dead. He wasn't supposed to feel like this.

"You have proof? I really doubt that." She crossed her arms over her chest, and he ran his hand through his hair. The plan he had wasn't that good, but it was the only chance he had. "He has no heart. Let the healers check. If he really has no heart, it's like I said." He saw how her face fell apart, and she closed her eyes for a second, shaking her head.

"A man without a heart?! That's not possible! The Dark One is long gone, no one has seen him for years, and he's the only one who can do that!" She sounded bitter and hurt, and he hated it, hated himself. If she would understand the irony of her words, it would almost be amusing. He let his gaze drop to the ground, sadness and desperation replacing the anger around them, and they went quiet. The only thing he heard were her sobs. He felt horrible, and it wasn't supposed to be like this.

He didn't need her permission for letting people check on Graham to convince her, he would just do it. The only thing he needed was a good excuse, and he was the prince, so it shouldn't be so hard to find one. He heard footsteps and raised his head, seeing how some guards, including Victor, were coming toward them.

"Emma, I-," he started, but she just shook her heard, kneeling down again.

"Save it."

* * *

The young princess sat down on a bench in the calm garden while the warm summer air was all around her. Two weeks had passed since Graham's death. Two weeks since Killian had vanished at night without a word, and no one knew where he was. The guards were looking for him every day, but there was no sign that he was alive or of what had happened.

After the guards had picked up the body to bring it into the healers room to check on it like Killian had ordered, she had returned to her room, ignoring the ball that was still going on, but the prince had stood outside, looking after her and not saying anything. She had been mad at him for hours while she had been trying to sleep, but he had never come back to their room.

The next days had been pure chaos after everyone had realized that the prince was gone. Rumors had spread fast, but the guards tried to keep it in the castle so none of the normal people in the town started to talk and get all worried. She didn't know if it had worked. The only person who didn't seem to be worried was the King. Even she was worried to a certain level, but she still hated him for what he had done, at least a bit.

The thing was, she knew that he had told her the truth that night. The moment where he had tried to explain himself, she had known that he wasn't lying to her, and she had still pushed him away, hadn't believed him, had ignored his words, and she felt utterly sorry for it, felt guilty for making him feel that bad. After a few days, the healers had told her that Graham was really missing his heart, and they couldn't explain how it was possible. Killian had been right all the time, and she had been so full of anger and sadness that she hadn't believed him. It was still hard to believe.

Over the two weeks, she had gotten more questions every day, and she still had no answers. Killian was the only one who would be able to answer them, but right now she didn't even know if he would come back or what would happen to her now that her future husband was away.

But if she was honest, she had enjoyed the time without him, at least for the first few days when she had been thinking that he was just out to get a free head after killing someone. It had given her enough time to mourn the death of her old friend, and she had started to feel better, getting support from Tink and Ruby, even Victor. But even the guard who seemed to be very close to the prince had no clue what was going on.

Also, his whole talk about the Dark One was scaring her. Was he really back? He was literally the only person she knew of who could use magic and rip hearts out. But he also was just a story you told your kids when they didn't listen to you. You would tell them the Dark One would get them if they disobeyed their parents.

Emma sighed and ran a hand over her face before she heard the fast footsteps of someone coming closer, the armor of a guard making noises, so she turned around and saw Victor coming over to her. She raised an eyebrow when he stopped right in front of her, slightly out of breath. He needed a moment to get himself together before he cleared his throat.

"Killian, he-," he started, but she didn't let him finish his sentence, jumping up to her feet. "What is with him? Did you find him? Is he alright?" She was worried about him even more now. She cared for him in some strange way, even after everything that had happened, and now hearing that something was going on with him made her even more worried. What if they found him dead? Or wounded?

"He's back. He wants to see you, in the throne room." Victor said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. She got a bad feeling in her gut immediately and swallowed slightly.  
"Is he okay?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper because she felt that something was going on but couldn't say what it was. She was happy that he was back, but…she couldn't explain it.

"Yes, just…please hurry." Emma nodded and walked with Victor back into the castle and toward the throne room. "Since when is he back?" she asked and turned her head to look at the guard who was looking straight ahead. "He arrived just a few moments ago. After a quick talk with the King, he demanded to clear the throne room and wanted to see you." An empty throne room so she would be alone with him? A shiver crept up her spine, and she couldn't even say if it was good or bad.

They reached the big door, and Victor opened it for her, shoving her inside the big and empty room, giving her a last glance. The expression on his face wasn't good at all, but she wasn't quite sure what to think of all this. She stared at the closed and locked door behind her and bit her bottom lip for a long moment before she turned around to see Killian sitting on the throne. His legs were crossed, one hand on his sword that was right next to him, his head on his hand, looking at her like he was bored. A black heavy leather coat was around his shoulders, not red like he usually liked to wear, and a black cotton shirt under it where she could see his dark chest hair clearly.

The room seemed to be cold, and there was a hint of danger in the air. For a moment she even shivered. She didn't understand it. He vanished for two weeks without a word to anyone, no one knew where he went, the guards had looked for him every day, but no one had been able to find him, and now he was back, just like that. He stumbled back into her life, and she wasn't prepared to see him, especially not like this.

And here he was again, still looking at her, but something was different. He was different. The way he looked at her, the way he sat there, the way the guards in front of the throne room had acted and how Victor had acted when they had brought them here. Something was wrong, and it had to do with him. What had happened to him in those two weeks?

"Do you want to stand there forever?" His cold voice made her shiver again when he spoke, and she looked directly at him, swallowing slightly when she walked up to him, stopping in front of the few stairs that led up to the throne. She looked for something in his face, something in his eyes that told her…she didn't even know what she was looking for, but it was in vain anyway. There was nothing in his eyes.

"I didn't know you were back." He raised an eyebrow, and he huffed, licking his lips. She didn't even want to know what was going on in his head right now. "Where have you been?" He didn't give her an answer but was literally undressing her with his eyes. There was that look on his face again, the one where she was the prey, and he was the predator — a look she hadn't missed in the time he was gone. Or maybe she had? The feelings she had or didn't have for him were still confusing. There was lust, a need she wanted to satisfy, but also hate and disgust toward him.

She decided to change the topic since he obviously didn't want to give her an answer. "The thing with Graham and his heart, I-" The dark growl that came out of his throat stopped her, and she frowned, looking up at him in confusion. "Don't talk about that. That's not why you're here." Oh right, he had actually called for her instead of just going into their room to see her. She let out a huff and shook her head. She wanted to apologize, and he wouldn't even let her!

He put his sword down on the ground and sat both of his feet down, sitting in front of her with opened legs while he leaned back against the back of the throne, a devilish grin on his lips, and the first thing that flashed through her mind was that this was an unspoken invitation. Well, more like an order and not a request, but she refused to believe that so her eyes looked down between his legs for a moment until she looked back up him. She wanted to laugh at him and turn around to leave. This was ridiculous.

Another annoyed growl left his throat, and his eyes became darker while he leaned forward a bit. "You understood. I can see it." He smirked darkly and licked his lips slowly. Yes, of course she had understood. She could feel the heat rushing down between her legs, and she could also feel her cheeks become red at his…invitation. But that didn't mean she would take it.

She crossed her arms over her chest, more because she wanted to cover her breasts than because of anything else. "You are kidding, right? You come back after two weeks without a word, without anyone knowing where you went, and the first thing you want from me is to…" She used a hand to gesture to his crotch area, and he chuckled, waiting for her to finish the sentence, but she never did.

He leaned back on the throne again, and the look in his eyes made her shiver. He really wasn't kidding. She huffed and shook her head, refusing to do anything for him before they at least talked. Not that she didn't want to. She had loved the taste of him the last time, but right now, it was the wrong time, and hell, totally the wrong place. Someone would hear them, and it would be embarrassing.

"Too bad. Could have worked." He shrugged and got up while she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He would give up? Just like that? She frowned when he took something out of his coat, something that looked like a letter. "Maybe this little letter will change your mind?"

Her eyes widened in shock when she realized that this could only be the letter from her family, and she bit her bottom lip, walking up the stairs just to see his idiotic smirk back on his lips while he held the letter up in the air, out of her reach. She pushed against his chest, hoping he would fall back, but he didn't, grabbing her chin to hold her head up, forcing her to look at him. "So we're in a rough mood today?" She hated the look in his eyes because she loved it.

After she had jerked her head out of his grip and stared at the letter, trying to snatch it from him. "Come on! Give it to me, it belongs to me!" He laughed and raised an eyebrow, tilting his head. "I found it first, so it's mine."

"Killian!" she almost yelled at him. She had waited for this letter way too long, and for a second, she wondered how he even got it, but in the next moment, she realized that they were way too close again. His scent was in her nose — he smelled like rum and sea like he always did, even though she never saw him visiting the water that often, but he still smelled like it, and she loved it.

She got a little distracted, staring at him a little too long, and his chuckle brought her back. "What are you willing to pay?" He had this cocky smirk on his lips, and she growled inwardly before his free hand ran down her bare arm, leaning slightly down to whisper in her ear. "It's been a while, love. I know you want to pleasure your needs as much as I want to help you with it."

Emma swallowed hard and bit her bottom lip when he pulled back, looking into his blue eyes that still held darkness in them, and she gritted her teeth. The knot in her stomach was pulling together and heat was rushing down, her heart pounding loud in her ears. She felt the anger boiling up in her and with another strong push against his chest, she had him sitting on the throne

"Fine, you win. Bastard." He only gave her a chuckle as a reply while she was kneeling down, and he leaned back, playing with the letter in his hands. Her eyes were on the paper before he put it back in his coat. "You better keep your promise," she mumbled while fumbling with the laces of his leather pants. He actually didn't win and they both should know it. It was a simple deal and she actually didn't mind doing it. The last time it had been uncomfortable at first but she had started to like it and now? Well, she couldn't get enough for him and she didn't know why. It was like something was pulling her to him, his touch and she was addicted to him in a way that was just dangerous.

"I always keep my promises, Princess."

For a moment, she wondered where the man went she had met the night Graham died, the one who was desperate to explain himself to her, but she had no time to think about it now. She opened the last lace, and he lifted his hips so she could shove his pants down, letting them fall to his ankles. His cock was already half hard, and she wondered if it really was only because she had an effect on him. At least he couldn't say he didn't think she was attractive because his cock was telling the whole story.

She took him in her hand and gave him a few experimental pumps to see what he liked. The last time was still more like some kind of a hazy dream than an actual act, especially since the last time had been the first time ever she had pleasured a man with her mouth, and she still had no idea what they liked and what not, so she waited for a reaction from him. She tightened her grip a little and kept pumping him, getting a low groan from him, and she smirked. It was a good feeling to take the control, to take some of his power away because right now, he needed her, he wanted her and she couldn't even deny she wanted the same. Him.

After a moment of more pumps, she removed her hand and leaned forward, running her tongue over his warm, throbbing member, noticing how he grew even harder with every wet kiss she placed on there, and she couldn't help but get turned on the more she watched how his face changed, how his breathing got faster, even though he tried to keep it under control.

She licked down his lenghth on one side and licked up on the other side before she started to suck on his tip for a moment, removing the pre-cum that was already there, and he bucked his hips up. It was actually surprising that he didn't speak, but she didn't mind, taking him in completely and moving her head up and down on his cock, humming around it to make him shiver.

"Fuck." The simple word that escaped his mouth encouraged her only more, so she moved her head faster, and it was like the last time. Her body felt like it was on fire and heat was all over her. She clenched her legs together, trying to get at least a little friction down there. He rocked his hips up again, but she put her hands on his thighs, holding him down. If he wanted to play, fine but she would make the rules in this game, control this game as long as she was getting through him, catching him off guard like right now. His cold walls were down, he was a man seeking for pleasure and she was the one who could give it to him or not.

He moved his hand into her hair, playing with her blonde locks for a moment before he pushed her head down so she took him in completely, holding her there for a moment until she felt like she needed to gag, and he pulled her back. She looked up at him and got a grin back while he was winking at her. "That's a good girl". She huffed and shook her head slightly but a small smile pulled the corner of her mouth.

The next time she moved her head down all on her own, waiting there until she got the weird feeling back in her throat again before she pulled up, his grip tightening in her hair. She licked him from the base to the tip again before she started to take him in, moving up and down at a fast pace, and he groaned loudly, trying to rock his hips up, but she held him down. One hand moved up his thigh under his cotton shirt, drawing patterns on his lower stomach, and for a moment he stilled his attempts to thrust into her more and just looked down at her.

She noticed it but didn't try to look up and removed her hand again from his lower stomach, gripping his length again while she sucked on his tip. "Fuck, Emma. You really like that, eh?" he groaned and bit his bottom lip, moving her head down on him again. She chuckled briefly, and while one hand was on his thigh to hold him at least a bit down and to maintain control over what she was doing to him, her other hand moved down her own body, palming her breast for a moment before she pressed against her center that was aching for his touch, moaning around him.

Even though the fabric of her dress was in the way, she pressed against her clit, not wanting to let go of his cock to get better access to her hot flesh under the dress. He watched her for a moment before he growled warningly, rocking his hips up to bury himself deep into her mouth. She gagged for a moment when he took her off guard, glaring up at him to meet his narrowed eyes. "Don't," he growled and after a moment, she removed her hand, putting it back on his thigh with the thought that he wanted to give her some relief later, and she was anticipating his mouth and fingers already. This was so wrong but she couldn't deny that she liked it.

Emma could literally feel him getting closer under her, tensing up until she felt his warm release exploding in her mouth, coming out just like his loud groan of pleasure. She swallowed it all down before she licked up and down his cock more, cleaning him from everything she couldn't swallow before she licked her lips and stood up, looking down at him. His cheeks were red, probably as red as hers, and he looked wrecked. She really got into getting him off, and for a moment, she even forgot why she was actually doing it because damn, she loved his taste, the look on his face, the sounds he made during it. One day these little games would get out of hand. She knew that, and it was probably going to be sooner rather than later.

When he also stood up, she expected him to do the same for her now just like the last time. Telling her to bend over or sit down on the throne so he could use his mouth, his tongue, his fingers, something like that, but it never came. He looked at her with a grin, his eyes roaming over her breasts and hardened nipples before he pulled his pants up and tucked his cock inside again.

He was breathing heavily, but she wasn't any better actually. She felt the warm wetness between her legs. It would drip down her thighs if she didn't wear her panties, probably all damp anyway, so it wasn't much of a difference. She watched him reach into the pocket of his coat, pulling the letter out, rolling it together and putting it down in the valley between her breasts before he took his sword and started to walk away.

"Wait, you're leaving?" she said confused while she was still all flustered, taking the letter out and turned around to him. He stopped and looked to her over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow as a silent question. "That was it? You're leaving me here like this?" A dark laugh echoed through the empty throne room, and he looked at her with his cocky grin again. "You never said you wanted pleasure for yourself from me, love. It was all about your letter. Use your hands." He winked and was about to leave the throne room when someone knocked loudly.

"Aye?" he said and was already down the stairs, Emma behind him to tell him how much she hated him for leaving her high and dry, but both kept silent when a young man came inside, breathing heavily. Emma and Killian tilted their heads at the same time, watching the stranger fall down on all fours, trying to catch a breath. She held the letter in front of her dress where she knew his seed landed, no one needed to see that.

She wanted to move toward him to help him, but Killian stretched his arm out so it was in front of her body, holding her back. His features changed again, the playful mask was gone, and he was almost glaring at the other man who was still stuttering something no one could understand. Emma swallowed and held the letter in her hands tight, hoping that nothing bad was happening.

"Do you want to say something?" the prince asked, clearly annoyed, and let his arm sink down again, crossing them both over his chest. A few moments later, the man straightened himself again, and she wondered for a moment how he hadn't stopped breathing at all. He looked like he had been running here for a while now, head all red. The man cleared his throat with pure fear in his eyes.

"Black sails in front of our coast, Your Majesty! They're all sailing under the crimson flag!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given the fact that I posted this fic on FFN too a while ago and got some reviews about this chapter regarding their smut scene and before people on here get it wrong or confused too, I'll add the note I wrote for this chapter. If you're completely fine with that smut scene, just ignore the following text ;)
> 
> It wasn't smut for the saken of smut, there was plot behind it. Emma has met different facades of Killian now, but never this one she met here but she still isn't putting up with the bullshit. He has this letter and wants to provoke her, she didn't have to get on him, could have waited until he just gave her the letter or whatever. She has pride yes but she's also attracted to him, more than she admits, more than she wants. She chose to do what he wants and after a moment she didn't really care about the letter anymore. She chose to blow him because she wanted to, because she likes it, she just has no desire to admit it directly, especially not when he's around. She had missed him, his touch, his everything, she's just conflicted and they have a complex relationship. He didn't pressure her in anything, it was all about her choice.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be the mention of rape and an almost rape situation, also some violence and drinking, masturbation and voyerism. You've been warned. Enjoy~

Emma swallowed hard and turned her head to look at Killian, watching him tense up. Pirates. In his kingdom. Gods, since she was here, everything was turning into a mess, and pirates were the last thing she needed. She had heard all the stories about them, was almost captured by them that one time she and her parents had been at sea and no, just no. She hated them. They scared her. Stealing, raping, murdering.

"Victor!" Killian yelled and pulled Emma out of her thoughts. The guard came inside, looking at both of them. "Bring him out." Victor nodded and brought the man out, the door closing behind them. Killian bit his bottom lip like he was thinking, completely ignoring Emma.

"What are you going to do about them?" she asked him and looked at him with furrowed brows, tilting her head. His gaze snapped up to her, and he raised an eyebrow. "Leave. I have to talk to the king about this." Emma sighed at his answer. Of course he wouldn't give her an answer. She just nodded and left the throne room, going into his room while she fumbled with the letter in her hand.

Only now did she realize that she had actually really missed him — his eyes, his face, his touch, his voice. She wasn't sure what she was feeling for him, but she knew there was an attraction that was between them, as weird as it might be. She liked him, no matter if he tried to play the cold prince who didn't care about others. She knew he cared. He had tried to protect her on the night of the ball. He might not care much about her, but she still didn't get why he cared about her at all.

For now, she felt kind of dirty and used but also kind of satisfied with the fact that she had got him off and that he had looked totally wrecked. She had seen in his eyes that he didn't expect her to take the deal, but getting him off for a letter from her family seemed fair to her. It hadn't been the first time she had put her mouth on him. She liked having control over him, especially since he normally tried to get control over her. Wouldn't be bad for his huge ego to take some power away from him.

But there was still that burning ache between her thighs because that bastard had left her high and dry, and she was dripping only because of the wonderful sounds he had made and the way his body had reacted to her. The way he had felt in her hand and her mouth and god damn her, she shouldn't like it so much, but she did. She loved it, every second of it, and maybe she should feel ashamed, but she didn't. Her mother had taught her that it wasn't a mistake as long as you liked it, and well, she did. Every second of it.

The letter could wait. She bit her bottom lip and slipped into his room. Their room. Whatever. She shrugged out of her dress, letting it fall to the floor. She needed to change anyway since he had ruined her dress with his seed. Lucky for her that she was able to hide the little stains when the man had come in. It would have been embarrassing if anyone would have seen them.

Emma put the letter on the nightstand and after she removed any other fabric, made herself comfortable in the bed, shivering for a moment when the cold air was all around her. She removed her soaked panties and threw them over to the dress, taking a deep breath. To be honest, she hadn't done this a lot, always quite shy when it came to her body, but she couldn't stop herself this time because of him. Now she just needed to fall apart.

One hand slid down her body slowly, over her breasts, her stomach, right between her legs. She spread them open and moaned as soon as her fingers made contact with the aching bundle of nerves down there. Her other hand palmed her breast, tugging on her nipple until it was hard, doing the same with the other while her thumb ran over her clit.

She slid one finger down into her wetness, thinking of him, his fingers, his mouth, his stubble against her thighs, and another moan left her mouth. Her finger spread the wetness all over her throbbing center while she cursed him in her mind for not being there to do it instead of her. Not that she would let him after he had left her like this. This was his fault, his mess, and he should clean it up, but no. Or well, maybe she would let him. Only maybe.

Her silent moans filled the room, and she didn't even notice the door open while her eyes were closed, and she gave in to the pleasure she was giving herself. Not noticing the man who started grinning as soon as he saw what she was doing there. He closed the door silently and leaned against it, watching her while he bit his bottom lip. He really hadn't expected that.

Emma on her side was way too close already, pushing two fingers slowly in and out of her, a mix of pain and pleasure settling in her caused by the slight burn of stretching herself while two fingers of her other hand rubbed furiously at her clit, her moans getting louder and louder. Her hips bucked of the bed the closer she came and hell, she was so close it was burning her. It wasn't like it had been with him but it was better than all the times she had done it to herself before.

She arched her back and screamed his name when she fall apart, rocking her hips up against her hand one more time, her fingers drawing lazy circles over her clit to ride her orgasm out as much as possible, but she couldn't keep it up, letting her hands fall down to her sides while she was shaking, but there was a satisfied smile on her face, her forehead slightly covered in sweat.

The clapping of hands caused her to snap her eyes open, and she grabbed the blanket immediately, covering her naked body while she was panting, only to hear him chuckle, pushing himself away from the door and walking closer, stopping in front of the bed with that teasing grin of his on his wonderful lips.

"I'm impressed. Never thought you would moan and scream my name while you touch yourself," he said and had this smug grin on his face. For a moment, she was actually shocked that he had watched her and didn't know what to say, only stared at his face before her eyes fell down to the very prominent bulge in his pants.

"I hate you. You could have said something!" she growled at him and pulled the covers up some more while he just shrugged at her, leaning against the bedpost. "It's my room. I don't have to do anything." He licked his lips and smirked down at her before she grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, not quite sure what else to do.

He ducked away with a laugh. "No need to be hostile. You know, just a word, and I could pleasure you properly." The prince rocked his hips forward to support his words and she rolled her eyes, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. The pure and raw attraction between them would kill her one day. It would be her undoing, but for now, she wasn't ready to let him have her body. She was still surprised he actually accepted that.

She shook her head and glared at him, cursing him in her mind but way too sated to start another fight. He instead kicked his boots off, shrugged his coat down, and crawled in the bed on top of her, and she let him, curious what he was about to do. His hands were right next to her head, his body between her still spread thighs, only the blanket and his clothes covering them. Why had she let him? She had no idea. He had invaded her personal space, had watched her while touching herself without a word, but right now, she didn't mind having him here. It had been what she wanted, right?

Neither of them said a word. They just stared into each others eyes, sea blue and forest green. She got the strong urge to kiss him, to pull on the necklace to get him down to her, to bite his bottom lip. Any normal person would see the sparks flying between them, feeling the tension that had built up over all that time, with every fight, with every moment they had spent together.

Emma knew they were there. She knew it, but she refused to believe in anything that told her that it was more than natural attraction because of his handsome face and the mysterious side he had, refused to believe she could actually like him for the man he was. One of her hands lifted almost on it's own and ran through his dark hair, they still remained silent, not saying a word. She loved his hair. It was fluffy and soft. She had loved it since the first moment she had ran her hand through it.

He rolled his hips and his erection against her, and the blanket was way too thin to ignore that. A moan left her mouth, and she gripped his hair, another roll of his hips stealing another moan. He started to smirk at her, and she waited for some kind of sassy remark, but it didn't come. He seemed so different now, not the man she had met only a few minutes ago in the throne room, not that cold, selfish bastard who had sat on the throne.

This man here was so much different. His eyes were soft but still dull. The movement of his hips gentle, his features not hardened like before. He rolled his hips against her center again, and she moaned, grabbing his necklace to pull him down, placing her lips on his. A passionate, raw kiss, the air around them getting hotter with every moan and groan that came from them.

He rocked his hips against her stronger, and she felt the second orgasm building somewhere inside of her. This wasn't planned, it wasn't supposed to be like this, and still, she couldn't stop it, didn't want to. His tongue slipped inside of her, fighting with hers before she pulled back and bit his bottom lip hard, getting a growl from him as an answer.

She forgot about the pirates, about what he had done, about Graham, the servant, about everything. His touch made her high, and everything around her was blurry. It was just him right now, nothing else. He kissed her neck, and she leaned her head back, giving him more access. He bit down, and she yelped in surprise, but he was running his tongue over the spot, soothing the pain before he sucked on it.

The feeling of a mark settled on her neck. He had marked her as his but if she would accept this was another question…for later. Her grip tightened in his hair, and he groaned, rocking his hips against her, giving her signs of how much he wanted to take her. Her other hand slipped down to his bulge, palming him through his pants and he gasped, looking down to her hand for a moment before he kissed her again, tugging on her bottom lip.

She untied the laces of his leather pants, shoving them down until his cock sprang free. It was hard and throbbing, and she reached for his length, giving him a few strokes while he rocked into her hand. His hand closed over hers and pulled it away after a moment before he grabbed the blanket she was still holding, shoving it to the side slowly while his eyes never left hers, probably checking if she was okay with it.

Only when the fabric was totally gone she realized that she was actually bare in front of him and he was about to take her. So much about that she wasn't ready for. She looked down at him and his erection, feeling him against her inner thigh, and she swallowed, starting to breathe heavily. He frowned at her but lowered his hips anyway.

When she could feel his tip against her center, she jerked her hips away from him, shaking her head and started shaking. No. She couldn't do that. This was too intimate, too soon, too much of everything. She looked away from him, her eyes pressed shut to keep the tears inside that had gathered in there, and she felt him move his hips away.

"I…I can't do that. I'm sorry," she stuttered, not looking at him, but he felt how much she was shaking under him, and he grabbed her chin, making her turn her head to look at him. "Emma. Emma look at me." She refused for a few moments, trying to catch a breath before she opened her eyes and looked in his, and he actually seemed worried.

Her whole body was trembling, and she knew why, but she didn't accept the reason, trying to shove the dark thoughts away and just swallowed hard. "It's fine. I'm not going to take you. Just breathe." She heard his words but couldn't actually believe them. He was so gentle, so caring, so different. She tried to catch a breath, to calm down, and it was helping, his touch was helping, the look in his eyes was so calming.

A tear ran down her cheek, and he stopped it with his thumb, wiping it away before he ran his hand down her body to her center like she had done before. For a moment, she thought he would take her anyway, and she started shaking again, but he looked at her, shaking his head. "I'm only going to make you feel better. Trust me." He had stopped his hand, drawing circles over her lower stomach and waiting for her to say something.

She couldn't get a word out, not quite sure what to say. Could she trust him? Probably not. Did she? Right now, yes. So she just nodded, his fingers moving over her clit in gentle movements before he took his length in his hand and slid the head up and down between her wet folds, both groaning at the contact of their hot flesh and for this moment, she trusted him not to do anything. He just moved his tip between her wetness, rubbing it against her before he lifted himself up on his knees, moving his hips slowly while the thumb of his free hand came down on her clit. It felt good having him there. It made her relax even through the building release, and for a moment she was even curious about how he would feel inside of her.

After a few more strokes, she cried his name out and fell apart under him, gripping the sheets. She was feeling better indeed. The tears didn't fall anymore, and the last one that slipped out of the corner of her eye was stopped by his lips on her cheek. He let her breathe for a moment but didn't stop with his movements down at her center.

"Keep still," he said in a whisper, almost like he didn't want to frighten her, and she nodded, not quite sure what he wanted, but then she saw how he stroked his rock hard cock faster, spreading her wetness that was on the tip over it with every stroke. He leaned back over her, and she moved one hand in his hair, caressing his scalp almost gently while he groaned until he found his release, moaning her name out and spilling his hot seed on her stomach.

Killian pulled his pants back up and tucked himself inside again before he looked at her one more time with his stupid smirk and moved off the bed backwards, going toward the wardrobe to find some clothes to change. She groaned at him but couldn't hold the chuckle back that came afterward, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Am I supposed to stay here like this now? With your seed on my stomach?" she asked, shaking her head at him. He was so bold that she wanted to slap him. But she couldn't help it, the situation had something. First she tried to get off, did it, and he had watched her, got aroused by it, was rubbing against her, and if she wouldn't have started crying they would have had sex. She was just glad he had stopped, so at least he hadn't lied about the part that he would never take a woman without permission.

"Well, do you want me to lick it up or what?" he asked and tilted his head, a grin on his lips. She didn't believe for one second that he would do that so she looked around for something to clean up, a towel landing in her face only a second later. She took it from her head and glared at him but saw how he laughed, and she giggled briefly, holding her hand over her mouth before it would get worse.

"There, clean yourself," he said and turned around before another pillow flew around the room, hitting the back of his head this time. "Oi!" He turned around to her and glared at her while she giggled again, the towel in her hands and an innocent smirk on her face.

"I thought you'd lick it up?" There was something teasing in her voice that he couldn't ignore, and she knew that. He never refused a challenge, and he really came to her, leaning over her body, his face close to her stomach. She tensed up, but he just snatched the towel from her hand, rubbing it over her body to clean her up.

She ran her hand through his hair while he cleaned her, pressing a kiss on her skin afterwards. "And here we are, the big bad prince cleaning me. Aren't you cute?" He raised his head at her words and threw the towel into an empty bucket next to the bed, rolling his eyes at her. "Don't push it, Princess," he said in a growl and straightened himself, going back to the wardrobe.

He took his black shirt off and pulled a white one out, played with it in his hands but put it back, grabbing another black one to put on. She got a brief glimpse of his shoulder that had been hurt by his father, but it seemed to be healed. She smiled briefly before she sat up, moving the blanket over herself, watching him for a long moment.

"Killian?" she asked shyly, not quite sure how to phrase her question that had been burning since he had come in here. He stopped in his tracks, about to change his pants when he looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. "What?" She chewed on her bottom lip and watched him how he changed his pants too, waiting until he straightened himself again and was looking at her.

"Why are you so different?" She swallowed after asking, and he frowned, tilting his head to the side like a dog that didn't understand the question, but she knew he had. "I don't follow," he replied, shrugging slightly and walked over to a chest on the ground at the other side of the room.

Emma sighed and shook her head, her eyes never leaving him. "Back in the throne room, you were cold and ruthless. You kind of blackmailed me into doing it and-" She stopped when he shot her a glare and clenched his jaw. "You liked it."

"Yeah I…I did. But that's not what I meant. You were different when you were on top of me. Almost gentle. The look in your eyes was different from the one I saw in the throne room. Your whole body language was different. One day you're mean to me, you yell at me, and the next, day you're gentle and almost caring. What is it that changes you?"

They looked at each other in silence for a long moment. She hoped that he would just try to figure out how to answer. She saw in his eyes that her words got right into his bones. Did he know that he was a changing person, a person with different masks? When he still didn't answer her after a long while, she sighed, biting her bottom lip. "I just want to get to know the real Killian."

He tensed up, grabbing his black coat, and she took a deep breath when he walked over to the door, already knowing she wouldn't get any answers tonight. "I have to take care of the pirate problem, love. I won't be back before tomorrow. Sleep well." He opened the door and was almost out of it when she called after him once more. Killian stopped and took a step back into the room so he could look at her.

"Be careful," she said, and a soft smile was on her lips while she looked at him, getting a nod as an answer.

* * *

He had told Victor he would go and see the guards at the port who had sent the messenger to the castle before he had jumped on his horse and started to ride at a fast pace but not to the town down at the coast. His path lead him more to the east where he know about a small port of smugglers, out of the reach of the crown because it was deep down in the bog, surrounded by a deep forest. The only way to go there if you didn't know the way was with a ship, but the port was surrounded by mysterious storms, and only the best sailors could get through it. The royal navy didn't take any risks with it, so pirates and other scoundrels were safe there.

Emma's question was still burning in the back of his mind, her words repeating over and over again in his ear. _'What is it that changes you?'_  He had wanted to scream at her, to yell, to flip the table that had been next to him because she didn't see it that she was the one who caused his different behavior. He had spent two weeks without her, the darkness had started to consume him, the blood on his hands after he had rammed his sword through the back of another man.

He had come back to the castle with the dark blood pumping through his veins, and as soon as she was back in his life, it had faded. He had started to see clearer again and god damn, he wished he had yelled at her that she was the reason he acted like this, turning his world upside down, and he couldn't even try to push her away properly because she always came back to him, and he knew the answer for her question. He knew it, and he was afraid of it.

She had become the only light to his never ending darkness.

And he hadn't even noticed it but refused to admit that, refused to let the feeling in, refused to let her in. He had other problems. He had his revenge, had to kill the Dark One, had to get on the throne, and he had to deal with these god damn pirates, probably sitting in the Golden Whore, drinking and fucking around like they always did.

A deep growl left his throat when his horse started to ride slower. He didn't know for how long he was riding, but it must have been hours. The bog was already near, he could smell it and see the deep forest in front of him. He would be there soon and if he could, he would just stab everyone there. He told them not to come back so soon, but they didn't listen, and it pissed him off.

He rode directly into the woods. He knew the way to the little town full of smugglers, murderers, scoundrels, pirates, and whores. But they were dumb enough not to notice him as the prince. None of them had probably seen his face while he wore his white shirt and his red coat, running around as a prince because they were busy doing…whatever they did all day.

After another long ride where he tried not to get stuck with his horse, he finally saw the lights of the town and let out a heavy sigh. He could finally deal with them. Actually, he didn't even know if they were here, but if they were in one place on earth after being so near to the kingdoms coast, they would be here.

He rode into the town and tied his horse down at the stables, giving the boy who watched the horses some money before he looked around for a moment, seeing some ships in the port. After a quick walk, he could already hear the noises that came out of the tavern, and he rolled his eyes, unable to hide the small grin on his lips. It was a mix of screams, yelling, and cheering and he didn't even need to go inside to know that the pirates who had been in front of the coast were here.

The prince opened the door of the Golden Whore and walked inside. The warm air filled with rum and sweat hit him in the face, and he made a disgusted face before he closed the door behind him. The tavern was filled with pirates and whores. The landlord didn't even raise his head to see who had come inside, the building filled with loud noises.

He was about to approach some of the men when he heard a woman screaming right on the floor next to him. "No, no, please, no." He raised his eyebrow, and she was begging for her life, trying to get the man away that was behind her and had her pressed on her hands and knees in a corner of the tavern. No one else seemed to care. Of course not, it was nothing special that a pirate tried to rape a…barmaid. Yeah, he was sure it wasn't a normal whore who had been paid for her services.

Killian let out a heavy sigh at the view of the pirate ripping her dress down and tried to open his pants, already quite drunk. He shook his head and walked over to the scene, kicking the man hard in the rips so the heavy body hit the ground with a loud thud. The woman looked at the prince in shook and tried to cover her breasts while he just nodded, and she jumped on her feet, trying to get away.

The pirate on the ground shot him a glare, but he just looked down at him with a bored expression. "She was mine! Get your own!" Killian bit down on his bottom lip to hold back a laugh, a dark and warning look in his eyes before he kicked the other in the stomach again. "And I would prefer if you wouldn't rape any woman while I'm around. Or ever. That's bad form, mate."

With these words, he turned around and noticed that it was quiet in the tavern, everyone looking at him. He heard a crack behind him and tensed up but didn't turn around, waiting for the other man to run up to him. He took a step to the side so the drunken guy was running past him before Killian grabbed the hair of the other and slammed his head down on the edge of the table a few times, hearing the crack of bones, probably the nose.

He let go of the sweaty hair and rubbed his hand against his pants, kicking the other one in the back so he fell on his hands and knees. "Not quite the perfect position, hm? I guess that poor girl didn't like it either," he said with a low chuckle, and the pirate turned on his back, glaring at him while blood was running down his face but was holding his nose instead of saying something before he got up on his feet and ran outside.

Killian felt a presence behind him but didn't flinch when a hand landed on his shoulder. "You should really accept that some pirates take women when they want." He groaned and turned around, slapping the hand away before he shook his head at the other man. "And you, my dear Jefferson, should really know that I don't accept such behavior, ever. Was that one of yours?"

Jefferson shook his head, and Killian nodded, that was enough answer for him. The other man put his arm around the shoulder of the prince and led them to their desk. They sat down and another barmaid brought them new drinks, smiling at Killian and whispering a 'Thank you'. He smiled back briefly. He knew how the barmaids were treated here all the time and that their life wasn't pretty.

He took a sip of rum from his jug before he looked over at Jefferson. "Three questions, and you better answer them truthfully and quick because I'm close to ripping your face off." He saw how the other man tensed up but nodded.

Killian raised his free hand, lifting one finger. "One, why are you already back and not in the west?" Before the pirate could answer, he lifted a second finger. "Second, where's the old sea dog?" Another drink from his rum before he lifted his third finger. "Third, where's the Jolly Roger?"

Jefferson swallowed hard, and the prince knew immediately that something was wrong. He knew the other man long enough to read his body language, and a deep growl left his throat. "Well, Killian…the Captain is on board of the Jolly Roger, hidden in a bay nearby. He told us to get out and have some fun, said something about wanting his peace."

Killian took a deep breath and massaged the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger while his eyes were closed. "You missed one, Jefferson." His voice was a warning growl, and when he opened his eyes again he could see how the other was about to jump up and get away. "The Dark One attacked us, and we lost one of the ships. The Captain ordered us to get away as fast as we could and we didn't get back there after out two weeks of fun."

He growled and leaned over the table, grabbing the collar of Jefferson to pull him close. "Bloody cowards! Bring me to him, I need to talk to him." He gritted his teeth and glared at the man, ready to punch him in the face if he would refuse. He felt the heavy breath of Jefferson under his grip and let go of him, pushing him back a bit more.

"He doesn't want company, and he's in a really bad mood about losing The Drunken Whaler." Killian rolled his eyes at the comment, shaking his head before he took another big sip of rum. "I don't care about that bloody ship, I'll give him a new one. And the sea dog is always in a bad mood. It's not like he would kill me."

Jefferson laughed before he got up, shrugging. "You're probably right about that. Alright, I'll bring you to him, but the crew really need their whores tonight." Killian shrugged and emptied his jug before he got up, pulling out a bag filled with gold, throwing it toward the bored landlord who caught it. "I'll pay for the crew, let them have their fun." He got a nod as an answer before he followed the pirate and first mate outside.

It took a while to get to the Jolly Roger in the bay, but after a long while they finally reached the ship. Killian stood up and climbed the latter first, followed by Jefferson. As soon as he jumped from the railing and his feet made contact, he drew his sword out, only to feel another one at his throat in the same second his own was meeting skin.

"Ugh, really?" came from Jefferson, who got on board behind him, and Killian looked at the man in front of him, dressed in red and black, a stupid hat on his head and pressing the tip of his sword into the throat of the prince.

"I thought I told you I don't want any visitors and to keep your dirty asses on land tonight?" growled the Captain at his First Mate, but he just shrugged, nodding towards Killian. "His fault." He felt how the tip pressed more into his throat, but he didn't lower his sword either. They stood there for a long moment until both man started to laugh and put their sword back at the same time before they came closer in a quick embrace.

The Captain patted Killian on the back a few times. "It's good to have you back." A laugh escaped the prince when he pulled back, shrugging. "Can't stay long. We just really need to talk." The older man raised an eyebrow and tilted his head and Killian let out a sigh when some other man of the crew walked on deck.

He was about to say something when someone ran up to him and jumped into his arms, and he had no choice but to put his arms around the person, otherwise they would have fallen down. A chuckle left his throat when he realized who it was, and he put her down on the ground, giving a kiss on the cheek. "What's a mermaid doing here?" he asked her, grinning, and the red-haired girl slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "Checking on your boys, you know they're lost without me while you're not here." She rolled her eyes but grinned at him. He stuck his tongue out before he turned back to the Captain.

"We really need to talk." He got a nod as an answer and followed the older man down to the captain's cabin. As soon as the door closed behind them, the Captain sat down on his desk, but Killian remained standing, leaning against the door.

"I really wasn't expecting you to miss us so soon, boy. We were out for two weeks, and now you come back after two days?" There was a tone of amusement in the voice of the older man, but Killian just rolled his eyes, shaking his head before he grabbed a chair and pulled it toward the desk, sitting down and taking the bottle of rum in front of him.

"The thing is, I told you to sail west and not to pass by our coast. I told you to go on with the job I gave you weeks ago. I can't afford more attacks from the west. And here you are, letting your crew fuck every single girl in the Golden Whore while the merchant ships are out there unprotected. I need their resources." He growled slightly but kept his temper in check, taking another sip from the rum while he looked at the other man.

"We plundered ships of the west for the last two weeks, you should be happy about it." Killian groaned and stood up again, kicking the chair. "It's not helping if we get the resources in the illegal way. It draws attention," he answered and ran his free hand through his hair, trying to breathe calmly. For a moment, they were silent, Killian looking out of the small window.

"Jefferson said the Dark One destroyed one of the ships and that's why you called them back from doing your job. You didn't have the balls to tell me while I was with you for two weeks. Any explanations?" he asked and turned around to glare at the pirate before he walked over there and sat down again, trying to stay calm but felt how he started to shake in anger.

"I wasn't very keen on sacrificing my crew for your cause," the Captain growled back, and Killian snapped. He grabbed his collar like he had with Jefferson before. "You made a fucking deal, don't forget it! You want the kingdom, fine. I don't care, but until then you have to do what I say or this whole thing won't work!" he growled back and let go of the collar to drink some more rum, feeling the burn in his throat.

"Or is the big bad Captain Blackbeard afraid?" he asked after a moment, getting up again. He felt restless, he couldn't sit still, and he tried to keep the darkness out of his mind. He got a laugh back, and the other man got up from his chair, taking the bottle to take a sip, too. "I'm a pirate, boy. We aren't afraid." He nodded and grinned at the man. "Then you'll go back?"

"Aye, my prince." Killian laughed and shook his head, biting his bottom lip briefly, a dark smirk on his lips. "Set sail in the morning and make sure that no ships of the Royal Navy see you. I have shit going down at the castle about the fact that there were ships sailing under the crimson flag in front of the coast."

Blackbeard laughed and shrugged his shoulder. "I told them not to sail by, but you know Jefferson, he likes to provoke. But I can promise you, they didn't see the Jolly. She's safe." A brief smile appeared on Killian's lips, and he nodded. He had always loved this ship. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. Too many memories of a better life.

"Sounds like I need to punch him if he disobeyed your orders," he said jokingly but would totally do it as soon as he was back on deck. He took one last sip from the rum before he put the bottle back on the table. "I think we're done here, eh?" The Captain nodded and Killian was about to walk up the stairs when the other man called after him once more.

"If you need us, we will be here. Just send a raven." Killian smiled at him briefly and nodded before he went up the stairs to see Jefferson flirting with Ariel. A groan slipped out of his throat, and he walked over there, punching Jefferson hard in the face. "That was for sailing close to the coast."

Jefferson landed on the ground with a loud thud and groaned. "I knew I should have gone. I knew he would tell you." The prince laughed and held his hand out to pull his old friend up, patting him on the cheek. "You're a big boy, you can handle it. Get ready to get back to the Golden Whore, I still have a night to spend."

The other pirate grinned at him and went away so he could pay attention to Ariel who looked at him and was judging him with her look. "What? What did I do now?" She leaned against the mast and shook her head. "I might be a mermaid, but I know you have a princess in your castle you have to marry soon. You should be there instead of drinking with pirates and fucking the whores down there."

"You're always the voice of reason, aren't you?" He groaned and moved his hand over his neck for a moment, not quite sure what to tell her. "We're not married yet. As soon as we are, I will be king, and the kingdom will be in the hands of pirates. They will probably kill her, with luck one of them will keep her as his personal whore, and I will be gone. Why should I care?"

Only seconds later he felt the throbbing pain on his cheek caused by a slap from the mermaid. His cheek went red and he groaned. "Really now?" he said and glared at her, but her look was so intense that he swallowed for a moment. "You're talking shit, and you know it. Men are all the same, all big liars but failing when it's about a woman. Be honest with yourself." He frowned and looked at her, slightly confused what she was talking about.

"Killian, please. I've known you since you were a little boy. I was with you from time to time during those two weeks, and you acted like a total asshole, you murdered and plundered like you never did anything else. You were no prince, you were a pirate through and through. But now, after you returned to the castle and came back? You seem different. There's a light inside of you, and I can only guess that it's because of her. What was her name again?"

"Emma," he said in a whisper, knowing that Ariel was right. He looked down at the wooden planks under him. Why did he suddenly feel so bad about the fact that she would suffer under the deal? He didn't want her to get hurt like that barmaid in the tavern or even worse. She didn't deserve that.

"She means something to you even if you can't recognize it. I've watched enough humans to know it." He raised his head again and looked at Ariel who looked back at him with a warm smile around her lips. "If you leave the kingdom, at least take her with you or take her home." He huffed and gritted his teeth, shaking his head.

"Why do you even care?" he asked in a growl and glared at her, trying to push away the thoughts he had about Emma, who would be alone in her bed tonight while he was enjoying his freedom, even if it was just for one night.

"Because I know that your mother wouldn't want you to be this man."


	14. Chapter 14

_His tiny hand held the bigger one of his mother while they walked out of the big house the royal family used for vacation. It was surrounded by a beautiful forest and was very close to the sea. He had always loved the sea and was so happy they were here now, away from the castle. He never liked to be trapped between the cold castle walls._

_"Mommy? Where are we going?" he asked, and a boyish smile came across his lips when his mother looked down to him, ruffling his hair with her free hand._

_"To the sea." Killian's eyes started to shine, and he grinned. "Are we going to see Ariel?" He sounded almost excited, and it made his mother laugh before she lifted him up and sat him down on his shoulders. "Among other things."_

_"Awesome!" He threw his little arms in the air, almost falling backwards before he put them around the neck of his mother, hugging her while she held his legs so he wouldn't fall down._

_"But why can't Liam come with us?" he asked, his voice lower than before, and he put his chin down on his mother's head, pouting slightly. "He has to study with your father. You'll get to do it at that age too." Killian groaned and shook his head, leaning back to play with her black hair._

_"I don't wanna study. I don't wanna be a king or prince." He exhaled heavily and got a brief giggle out of his mother who shook her head slowly, her fingers caressing his little leg, and with this single touch, she could express all the love she had for the little boy._

_"What do you want to be then?" The little boy was silent for a moment, not quite sure what to answer before he put his chin back down, sighing heavily. "Free." He couldn't see it, but the happy smile that had been on his mother's lips was replaced with a sad one._

* * *

"Hey, wake up!"

Killian groaned when he heard the female voice and felt her slapping him against his leg, opening one eye, still tired after his long night. He looked into the unamused face of Ariel and groaned loudly, his arms spread out over the bed, two women in his arms, their heads on his chest, playing with his chest hair and drawing circles on his stomach.

"Why, why do you have to wake me up? I had a rough night." He still had one eye pressed shut while he looked at her, gritting his teeth slightly. Her presence was annoying him but more so because he was hungover, and he had two women in his arms and really better things to do than having a conversation with the mermaid now.

"Yeah, Killian, I can see that. Now get your ass out of bed you…have to go." He could see how she was side eyeing the girls, and he growled again, sitting up in bed. "Leave," he hissed at the girls, and they pouted at him, but he just slapped one of them playfully on her ass while they got up and dressed, and a few minutes later the door fell shut behind them.

He pulled the blanket up a bit more to cover his lap as good as he could, the woman in front of him didn't need to see his prominent erection. He ran his hand through his messy hair and tilted his head, looking at her. "What do you want?"

Ariel groaned loudly and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him. "I want you to go back to your castle and do what's right!" Killian tensed up at her words and let himself fall back into the pillows with a sigh, shaking his head before he put his arms behind his head. It was easy for her to say that, she didn't have to do it.

"How can I do the right thing when I don't know what's right and wrong anymore? My world is grey, nothing is black and white, good or evil." His voice was almost a whisper while he looked up at the ceiling. He spoke the truth, he couldn't lie to her, it felt wrong. The colors in his life had started to fade as soon as his heart was taken, and not even Milah had been able to bring them back. His life was grey and so was his morality, not sure what's good or bad.

"What do you feel, Killian?" Ariel said, and her voice was calm when she sat on the bed next to him, looking down with a soft smile. He frowned at her question and turned his head so he could look at her, lifting himself up on his forearms. "Nothing." He shrugged and looked away but heard how she huffed.

"I'm serious, Killian. You're changing. Close your eyes and think about it again." He groaned at her suggestion, really not in the mood to play, but he listened to her anyway, probably because he respected her more than anyone else. He closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, missing the sound of the heartbeat in his ears.

Killian shook his head slightly. "I…I don't know." He sighed and looked up at her again, biting his bottom lip and didn't understand what his words actually meant. "I don't know what I feel." Ariel smiled and ruffled his hair like he was still the little boy she saw in him instead of the ruthless prince he pretended to be. "That's what I mean. You feel, you just don't know what it is, right?"

He frowned again and thought about her words, letting out a gasp, and his eyes widened slightly. "You're right-" He felt something and just didn't know what it was. This couldn't be, it wasn't possible, it wasn't supposed to be like this. His hand moved to his chest where the void was, and he gritted his teeth, shaking his head. "That's not right. It's not possible. It's a lie, the same with Milah." He shook his head more and more, refusing to believe, but she put a hand on his cheek, making him look at her.

"You know the thing with Milah was different. It was his fault, not yours. She fell in love with you, and he enchanted her, you had no choice. The feelings you had for her - if you can even call it that - weren't real." He swallowed hard and sat up, leaning against the headboard while he looked down, shaking his head. That bloody demon had used his own wife to get to his heart. Enchanted her so he would think he would feel something for her, but he never did. As soon as she died his world had fallen apart, and he had sworn revenge. But Ariel was right, this time was different. He was quite sure Emma was untouched by the magic of the Dark One.

"I know that, thank you for reminding me," he growled at her and rolled his eyes and shifted down so his back was pressed against the bed again. The memories still hurt him in a way.

„Move over." He looked at her and raised an eyebrow but saw her impatient look before he moved from the middle of the bed to one side, watching how she laid down next to him.

For a moment, they were silent, both staring at the ceiling.  
"What's happening to me, Ariel?" He swallowed and gritted his teeth when he heard the slight hint of desperation in his voice, closing his eyes for a long moment, feeling like a little boy who was lost in the world. It had never been like this before. The reaction of his body was so different. That one time he almost collapsed must have something to do with his feelings coming back or whatever they were doing, and it scared him.

"I'm not sure. I heard stories while I was in another land, another realm, not so different from this one, but I'm not sure how far they apply to here." He frowned, the folds on his forehead deep. Another realm. He had always wanted to go to different worlds, but he was a prisoner of his own life. "Tell me about it." He felt the mattress shift, and she turned around to him, her eyes on his side. When he was younger, he had always loved the stories she had told him. For a while, he could pretend to have another life, pretend to be somewhere else. He had listened to her with his eyes closed while she told him about another world with more magic, more mysterious things, and he had been the hero. But now? Now he was the villain in his own world.

"Have you ever heard of a soulmate?" she asked him, poking him in the cheek with her forefinger, trying to get his full attention. He groaned and turned on his side, the blanket still over his hips to cover himself up some more, even though she knew how he looked naked but still, he was grown up now.

"Yeah, all the romantic books with love stories have it." He shrugged, and it wasn't a big deal for him. He had read a lot about this thing, but for him it was utterly unrealistic. "Oh, you're reading such books?" she teased and poked his nose, and he groaned, slapping her hand away with a small smirk. That woman was unbelievable.

"Get to the point," he growled warningly but still in a playful way, and she seemed to think about what to say. She ran her hand through his hair, waving some strains out of his face like she had done with him when he had been a boy.

„It's not exactly like in the books you read, but it's similar. In these lands, they were stories about people who were drawn to each other like they were connected with an invisible bond, stronger than anything, and they say it makes people feel with their soul instead of their hearts. And the soul feels stronger than any heart. They can take your heart but not your soul."

He was silent while she spoke and tried to understand what she was saying. Feeling with the soul but without a heart? It sounded really strange to his ears, but he also couldn't ignore the part with the invisible bond. He had felt something like that between him and Emma, that's why he used a servant girl for his anger and not her, that's why he had the huge urge to protect her from the fire and the Dark One. He couldn't deny the attraction towards her, and now that he was thinking about it, he was really different around her.

She was his light.

"Please, those are just stories," he huffed and shook his head, trying to deny it somehow. A moment later Ariel had put his nose between her forefinger and thumb and was pulling on it. "Oi! What the fuck are you doing?!" he scolded and pulled his face back, glaring at her while he was rubbing his nose.

"You're talking shit again. I can see that you at least thought about what I told you, and you know that I'm not completely wrong. To find a soulmate is really hard and only a few people find theirs, sometimes they're worlds apart," she said in a calm voice.

"Oh, and you think Emma is my soulmate?" he huffed and raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly while he lifted himself up on an elbow, head in his hand. "She might be. I can't say for sure, but when she's the one who makes you feel…don't miss the chance. Take it. Take the chance to become the man your mother wanted you to be. Protect this girl, no matter what."

Killian wasn't even quite sure if he wanted to feel again. He felt a lot of pain anyway, but what if he would feel even worse as soon as his feeling would come back? He had nothing to be happy about in his life but a lot to hate, a lot that caused him pain. What if she brought his feelings back and he drowned in all the bad things? Hate, guilt, pain? It would swallow him alive.

He gritted his teeth and tensed up when she mentioned his mother again, his gaze dropping down on the dirty sheet under him. "Stop mentioning her…" His voice wasn't more than a whisper and a hint of sadness was in it, but Ariel took her hand and lifted his head, smiling at her. "But she's the only one who can get through to you, despite your heart problem. A bond between mother and child is stronger than that. I think she is the reason why you're not completely drowned in the darkness yet." She let go of his head, and he snorted, nodding slightly.

The prince knew what she meant. Normally, he should be consumed by the darkness inside of him, but he wasn't, something inside of him was still holding him up, only a little spark like a warrior, protecting him. He started to feel guilty because he hadn't become the man his mother wanted him to be. "You don't need a heart to love your mother, Killian, and she doesn't need to be alive to give you the love she has for you. She's watching over you, every second, guiding you until you don't need her help anymore, and I know you want to make her proud. I can't say for sure, but I think as soon as you forget her, the little light in you will be gone, and you'll drown. That's why I keep mentioning her, for your own good."

He swallowed and closed his eyes, trying to control the feelings that were inside of him. Maybe she was right, maybe she talked shit. She had told him such things for years now, pulling the mother card over and over again, but the woman beside him had never phrased it like this, and he had been blinded by the way the darkness was consuming him. He still wasn't able to control it, was still insecure, but the thought that his mother wasn't proud of him killed him inside. Could the red head be right? Could his mother be the reason he was still able to think straight? Not always, not often, but sometimes in the little moments that were important?

"She probably hates me." He laughed unamused and sat up in the bed, but Ariel just shook her head. "She could never do that. She loved you, and she still does. You were her everything." She reached forward and pressed her hand against his chest where no heart was beating. "She's always with you, you just keep forgetting. The darkness tries to destroy your memory of her."

He smiled slightly and took her hand, pressing a kiss to the palm. "I should really go." He knew his slightly hopeful mood wouldn't last long, he knew he would make mistakes, but he also needed to figure out if the story she had told him was real. Soulmates. It sounded strange in his head, not real, not possible and here he was, feeling something, not quite sure what it was, but it was there and it was killing him.

* * *

Emma had fallen asleep last night way too fast and after she had woken up this morning, she had tried to keep herself busy, not able to deny the fact that she was worried about him. She had met up with Ruby who wanted to make a girls night in the next days because they barely got together anymore. Emma had agreed, some time with her friends wouldn't be bad.

After some lunch and wandering through the castle, she went back to his - their - room. She was restless, not sure when he would come back to the castle, back to her. The princess knew how pirates handled the high born people, kidnapping them to get ransom for them. On the other hand she knew that Killian was able to defend himself in case something happened.

She sighed and sat down on her bed, seeing the letter that was still on the nightstand. She had been so eager to get this piece of paper but now that she actually had time to read it, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. What if he had been right about the baby and the sending away thing? What if the letter wasn't what she had expected?

Emma bit her bottom lip before she reached over and grabbed the letter, opening it carefully. For a moment, she just held the folded paper in her hand before she opened it slowly. She started to read and within seconds her face fell apart. She blinked. Once. Twice. Anger rising up in her chest, and she gritted her teeth. That damn bastard. Her eyes flew over the note again.

_»Sorry, darling, were you looking for a letter from your parents? Not here yet. Oops. But I really enjoyed your mouth on me.«_

She clenched her hand into a fist to crumple the piece of paper up in her hand, groaning loudly in annoyance. "Bastard!" she yelled, not caring if someone on the floor might have heard her. He had tricked her! That stupid asshole had tricked her! Gods, she had been so stupid and dumb. How could she believe him, how could she trust him? Despite everything, she did to a certain level, and she didn't even know why.

From one second to another the worries she had turned into anger. He had known all along that this wasn't the letter from her family she waited for, and he didn't say a thing, not even after the incident in the throne room! She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths before she decided to get out to get some air before the anger would eat her up.

Just in the moment where she opened the door, she bumped into someone. When she looked up, her face became harder, looking into his blue eyes and seeing his little smug grin in the corner of his mouth that made her feel like she needed to slap him again.

"In a hurry, princess?" he asked and tilted his head. She could see hickeys on his neck. For a moment she wondered if he had even dealt with the pirates at all or used it as a reason to get in town to sleep with some woman. She wrinkled her nose in disgust before she shook her head and grabbed his arm, pulling him inside, slamming the door shut behind her.

She made him sit in the chair in front of the desk, and normally she would smirk a little about the confused look on his face, but right now she really didn't feel like it. "You are a fucking asshole!" she yelled and threw the ball of crumpled paper in his face. He seemed to know what she was talking about but didn't seem to care.

"Oh, come on, it was just a joke. No reason to freak out." His voice was calm, and he shrugged, about to get up, but she put her hands on his shoulders, pressing him down to keep sitting. "Keep sitting. I'm not done with you!" she literally growled at him, and he raised an eyebrow, leaning back in the chair, interested in where this was going.

"You know I waited days for this letter, and it's still not here! I hate it that I'm not able to be with my family. Not hearing from them is killing me, and then you come along, letting me think this is a letter from them just to read your stupid note!" She stood in front of him, throwing her arms in the air in anger and despair, not even sure why she is telling him this. He didn't need to know about how she felt, it wasn't his business, and yet here she was, letting her walls down even if it was in anger.

She heard him chuckle and wanted to say something, but he started talking first. "I never said it was from your family. You automatically assumed it." A cocky grin was on his lips and she stopped for a moment, actually thinking about it. She tried to remember his words but wasn't able to recall them all, just shaking her head.

"That's not the point! I feel like an orphan again in these walls. I have no one! Sure, Ruby is here, Tink is here, but they can't replace my family! This letter is so important for me, and you don't seem to get it!" She groaned in annoyance and walked up and down in front of him, rubbing her hand over her face, trying to find the right words, not really thinking about them anyway.

"We're all orphans." His voice was low, and when she looked in his eyes, she recognized the look. She had seen the same one many years ago when she looked into the mirror. For a moment she frowned, not sure if he was playing with her or if he was being honest, her emotions all over the place. "At some point in life, we are all orphans. Some stay orphans forever, some don't." He shrugged, and she was surprised how honest his words were, making her think about what had happened to him that he would say that. Was it because of his mother? His brother? His father was still here, but he acted like a mad man, so maybe he meant that.

She decided to ignore his words and focus on the anger. This time he wouldn't get under her skin to stop her from complaining. "The thing is that you're acting like a complete ignorant asshole to me most of the time. How did you even become such an idiot?" She didn't even want an answer from him, but as soon as the smug grin was back on his lips she knew he would give her one.

"Ah well, I train hard every day," he said and grinned at her, shrugging slightly. She groaned loudly and shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "Well, maybe you should tell me how you do it so I can become an asshole that doesn't feel, just like you. Maybe it's better for the marriage!"

For a moment he didn't say anything before he tilted his head a little, the grin gone from his face. "Who says I don't feel?" Well, that took her off guard. There was something in his voice and his eyes that was different in this little moment. She swallowed slightly, not quite sure what to say, and the longer she looked into his eyes that told her a story she couldn't understand, the more she was calming down, the anger almost gone when he got up from the chair.

All she could do was look into his eyes that were so full of sadness right now that it almost scared her. Only when he stood right in front of her was she was able to look away from him, crossing her arms over her chest and turning her head to the side to look out of the window.

"Listen, Emma. I'm sorry. It was a really stupid joke. I didn't know that letter meant so much to you." She hated that he sounded honest, but she was still avoiding looking at his face again, just huffing slightly. He groaned, and she turned her head to see how he scratched the spot behind his ear slightly.

"Can you use a sword?" he asked, and she raised an eyebrow, surprised by the question. "A little." He nodded and bit his bottom lip for a moment, not looking at her. The anger was gone as fast as it had come to her, but her feelings were still a mess with him around. "How about I teach you how to do it? Now that the Dark One is after you for some reason and…" He stopped, and she waited for him to finish the sentence, but he never did.

"Meet me in the afternoon outside the stables. If you want to." A small smile was on his lips before he turned around, but she grabbed his arm again. "We still need to talk about the whole Graham thing." She felt how he flinched under her but nodded. "If you decide to meet me later, we can talk."

Emma licked her lips and looked at him for a long moment before she let go of his arm and he went out of the door. Gods, she hated that she couldn't control her feelings as good as usual when he was around. She was angry in one moment and calm in the other and all because she had looked into his eyes. He seemed to be her anchor, something to hold on to when the storm was raging inside of her, even when he was the reason why she was angry. Sometimes, a simple look was enough.

And somewhere deep inside of her she knew that she was falling for him.


	15. Chapter 15

Emma didn't even know why he had offered to train her in sword fighting. Most men had the opinion that woman shouldn't fight, especially when they were royal, and here she was, on her way to the stables in some fitted clothes. A pair of brown pants and a white shirt, something she felt comfortable in, and she was sure she could move way better like this than in a dress and a corset. It was quite warm outside, but she enjoyed the sun on her face and the blue sky above her.

When she walked over to the stables, she could see him, his hand stroking the mane of the black horse. For a moment, she stopped to watch how he touched the animal gently, his soft side showing when he thought no one was watching. He seemed to love animals. She didn't blame him, they were easier to handle than humans. They didn't lie and were loyal. One more reason why she was thankful that he had given her a horse when she arrived here.

She walked up to him and cleared her throat slightly, smiling at him when he turned around. "Didn't expect you to come, Princess." His voice was low, and he came over to her, tilting his head slightly while he looked at her. "And why is that?" she asked him, crossing her arms over her chest, huffing slightly at his comment. When she took a closer look, she could see that the hickeys on his neck had started to fade. Better for him, she might have puked if she would have seen those any longer. She couldn't help but feel jealous thinking about him with another woman, and she hated it.

"Who knows, you may be afraid I'll hurt you again." He shrugged and walked away from the horse over to a pair of swords. She frowned at him and his words. There was something in his voice that sounded…disappointed? Sad? Maybe even guilty? He had hurt her in the past, but it was never bad, and for some reason, she couldn't hate him for it. Every time he had been this different man with the dark aura around him, every time her guts had told her that he was dangerous, but right now she didn't feel it.

"I'm not afraid of you," she answered in almost a whisper but loud enough that he could hear it while he picked up the sword. Actually, she had expected him to use wooden swords or something, not real swords. "Maybe you should be." She raised an eyebrow and held her hand out when he gave her the sword, not answering him. Maybe she should, yes. Maybe it was the smart thing to do. But in moments like these where she just looked him in the eyes, those beautiful, sea blue eyes, she couldn't be afraid.

He cleared his throat and drew the sword out, letting the sheath fall to the ground, and she did the same. "So, you said you can handle a sword?" He took a step back, and she could see a spark in his eyes when he was handling the sword, and she couldn't help but smile a little at his actions, almost like a young boy trying to impress a woman. "I said I can handle it a little. I know how to hold it and how to attack."

Killian bumped the tip of the sword in the sand in the sparring circle so he could lean on the hilt a little, watching her closely. "Then show me." The princess sighed and shook her head with a small smirk before she took the hilt in both hands, trying to find the right position to stand, but she never did because he started to laugh at her. Not a sarcastic laugh, not a dark one like always, it sounded real.

Emma groaned and stood up straight again, letting the tip of the sword fall back into the sand before she glared at him. "What? I haven't even started yet!" He just shook his head and put his sword down on the ground, walking over to her. "You look like a savage holding club, love." She rolled her eyes and lifted an eyebrow, looking at him as he stood right in front of her before she swallowed slightly when she noticed the look on his face that was wandering over her body.

"Here, let me help you," he said and walked around her. She was about to turn around, but he held her shoulders in place and nudged her legs apart with his foot. "You have to find a safe stance before you raise the sword." Emma didn't realize how close he was until she could feel his breath on her neck, wandering up to her face. She could see his face right next to hers when she was looking over her shoulder, taking her hands in his.

She swallowed and her heart started to beat a little faster, a heat pooling in her stomach. He put her hands on the hilt of the sword and raised it with her together, his chest pressed against her back. "See, this is how it works." He chuckled and let her hands go, holding the sword alone. "Much more like a civil person, not like a savage," he teased with a grin and walked back around her, picking his sword up. While she had to hold the sword with two hands, he could hold it easily in one, the other one on his back.

"Now attack me." She swallowed when she saw the challenging look in his eyes. When she didn't move at first, he chuckled slightly. "You know, the pointy end goes in the other one." She groaned at his comment, the smug grin on his lips, shaking her head a little. "I could hurt you." He raised an eyebrow and licked his lips, nodding toward her. "Try it. Pay me back for what I did to you."

Great, now they were back on the emotional level. First, he wanted her to kill him, and now he wanted her to hurt him. She would never do either of them, so she just rolled her eyes at his comment and jumped towards him with the raised sword, letting it fall down on him, but he simply stepped out of the way so that she stumbled forward. His arm wrapped around her waist before she could fall to hold her up.

"I can see, love, you're a real warrior," he teased again and laughed, letting go of her waist before he took another step back. She blew a strand of hair out of her face and held the sword up again, trying to attack him another time, but he stepped out of the way again. "You're moving too much." His voice was slightly annoyed but amused at the same time.

"Well then, show me how to do it right if you can do it better." He smirked and licked his lips, biting down on his bottom lip for a moment before he raised his own sword again. "You need to stop jumping around like a frog. Be elegant. Move lightly. You need to feel the ground under your feet." He moved around a little like he was fighting with an invisible person, almost dancing in the sparring circle, and she was kind of amazed. He always seemed rough and heavy, especially with his big leather coat, but right now, wearing just his leather pants and a light white shirt, similar to hers, he moved like it was nothing for him.

She didn't realize she was staring until he stopped and looked at her, tilting his head slightly and asking her with just a look if she got it. For a moment she blinked at him but nodded, trying to make the same movements like he had done before. She didn't need to see herself to know that it looked more awkward and clumsy than it looked with him, but she was trying. "Better," he said after she finished, and he started to circle her, walking around him while she tried to catch a breath.

"Is it true? The thing you told me on the night Graham died?" The question came out of nowhere but she needed a quick break and now it seemed to be the right time to ask this question, if there was ever a right time for this. He stopped in his tracks, looking at her with a light frown before he sighed and walked over to a bundle of hay, sitting down on it, the sword in his lap. She followed him, sitting down next to him on another bundle.

"So you believe me?" he asked and leaned back against the stable wall, looking over to her with a raised eyebrow to see her shrug with her shoulders. She had no idea if she could believe him. "They found no heart in his chest," she said in a whisper and swallowed, pressing her eyes shut, trying not to remember too much from that night.

"Like I said, the Dark One took it. I caught him when he was on the way to you, he wants you for some reason, not sure if dead or alive. He also caused the fire." He clenched his hand into a fist and gritted his teeth, feeling anger rising in his chest just thinking about that the Dark One might hurt her. "And you saved me both times."

For a moment, he was quiet and looked down in the sand, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek, and she would give a lot to know what he was thinking right now. In the end, he simply nodded, and she shot him a brief smile when he looked at her again. "What is your connection to him? You seem to hate him for some reason."

He swallowed and bit his bottom lip, knowing he couldn't tell her the full truth about the heart thing. He just couldn't. It was too dangerous for her to know. It was his secret, his cross to carry on his back. "Long story. Not one for now." He shook his head and got up again, taking the sword back in his hand and nodded back toward the sparring circle.

Emma let out a heavy sigh. She knew she wouldn't get more answers, and she was as far as she was in the beginning, but now she knew he had told her the truth. The Dark One was after her. That was crazy. He wasn't supposed to be around, and now he was hunting her since she was here. But why? Gods, she should be afraid and hiding in her room, locked up and with guards in front of it, but for some weird reason she felt safe when Killian was around and like…this. Open, gentle, teasing, and playful. She knew that this side of him would protect her.

"Come on, love. Try again."

* * *

A couple of hours passed by fast, and he was training her until twilight. He was actually impressed that she got better in such a short period of time. She was a natural, apparently. She worked better with her feet and her arms, could block some of his moves and even though he would never admit it, he had a little fun training her, spending time with her, being around her. Maybe Ariel was right. Maybe the blonde woman in front of him was really soothing the pain of the past. Maybe she was really able to cure the darkness in him.

He was sweating slightly, and his lose white shirt clung to his body while he heard her panting on the other side of the sparring circle. She was drinking from her water bottle and for a moment, he was watching her, pushing his tongue inside of his cheek before he could draw his gaze away from her and took his shirt off, trying to cool his body down as much as possible.

"What are you doing?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow and wiped the back of her hand over her mouth before she put the bottle back down, her eyes wandering over his body, his lean body and his muscles, he could see her swallow a little. Killian just shrugged and licked his lips, smirking at her for a moment before he took his sword.

"It's hot." That was all he said before he raised his sword again, throwing her a challenging look to tell her to get ready. She nodded back at him and got ready before she started another attack on him but failed miserably. The princess groaned in annoyance and tried again but failed. This worked better a couple of minutes ago.

He chuckled slightly and bit his bottom lip when he saw the look on her face. "What's wrong, Princess? You're better than this." A loud groan left her throat, and she raised her sword again, trying to attack him but he just took a step to the side like in the beginning. It was almost as if she had forgotten the last couple of hours. He had an idea why it was like this but he wanted to hear it from her.

"Yes, well, it would be easier if-" she hissed but stopped when he shot her a curious look and took a step toward her. He could feel the heat radiating from her body, some of her golden locks clung to her forehead with sweat. "If what, love?" He tilted his head and smirked, challenging her with a simple look like he always did.

"You know what? No." A frown came up on his forehead when she spoke and took a step back, letting her sword drop to the ground just to pull her shirt over her head, standing in front of him in some linen bra. No wonder she could move around better, she wasn't even wearing a corset. Town women wore such things like she did right now, way more comfortable. His eyes wandered down to her stomach and back up, scratching the spot behind his ear while watching her.

"Well, if you want to fight like this." He gritted his teeth slightly. She just took his distraction card and used it for herself because he would be certainly distracted now. Speaking of that, she was already starting another attack and he could barely raise the sword to block her - for a woman - strong hit. He could hear the sound from steel meeting steel, it was ringing in his ears before he lost balance, tripped over his own feet and landed on the ground, but not without grabbing her wrist to pull her with him.

They ended up in a little cloud of sand, both coughing for a moment before their eyes met. "That was a mean trick to best me," he said with a low chuckle while he was laying in the dirt, smirking up at her. Her hands were next to his head, her body between his legs. "But I bested you," she said laughing, not even mad that he had pulled her down with him. "Besides, you started it."

"Hey, it was just too hot in clothes!" he protested and pouted slightly, not able to hide the small smirk on the corner of his lips. She raised an eyebrow at him and nodded. "I know. That's why I took my shirt off." She winked and stuck her tongue out in a playful way, not even minding about the fact that he was beneath her and both were kind of half naked. There was nothing they hadn't seen of each other before.

For a moment, they were quiet until he lifted himself up on his forearms, his face closer to hers. A soft breeze made him shiver for a moment before he leaned up a little more and pressed his lips on hers gently. He really didn't know why, it was the moment, the heat of her body, the glint in her green eyes, the small smile on her face, but he couldn't name a real reason. Maybe he was trying to find answers. Maybe.

It took a moment until he felt how she kissed him back carefully, almost like she was afraid of something. A second later, she pulled away and looked at him with a confused look in her eyes. "What are you doing?" she asked him in a whisper, almost carried away by another little breeze of summer wind. "Kissing you," was his simple answer, and a genuine smile lit up his whole face.

He leaned back down a little and it felt like minutes until she smiled back at him, lowering her body down to his. "Then keep going." This time she was the one who pressed her lips on his, and his hand found it's way to the back of her head, playing with her hair. Her lips were soft and tasted like…he didn't even know, but he knew that they fit perfectly against his. That it made him feel good, and that was also the thing that was scaring him. She made him feel.

On the other hand, he couldn't care less in this moment. He sat up, his lips not leaving hers, and he wrapped his arms around her body, her hands going around his neck. They pulled apart slightly, panting, the sweaty skin of their bodies pressed together, an electric feeling running through him. His chest arched slightly, and he closed his eyes for a moment before he could feel her forehead against his, and he smiled again.

"What are we doing, Killian?" she asked him, and he just chuckled, brushing his nose against hers. "I don't know." She laughed softly and leaned back a little, tilting her head, and he would give so much to read her mind now. He huffed and chewed on his bottom lip for a moment.

"What are you thinking, love?" He swallowed when he asked the question, not quite sure if he even wanted to know the answer. For a moment, there was a confused look on her face before she just shrugged. "Nothing, really. Maybe you should kiss me again to make me think of something." She smirked at him, and he leaned in again, licking his lips.

"As you wish, Princess." And he was kissing her again, as gentle as before. No rushed kisses, no rough lip biting, just their soft lips pressed against each other, tasting each other, enjoying the moment. Right now, he felt so vulnerable like never before, and maybe he would realize that he was scared later. Maybe. But not now.

After a few moments, the kiss turned more passionate. He was growling into the kiss, rocking his hips up against her a little more. He felt how her hands fisted in the hair at the back of his head before she bit his bottom lip softly, catching a low chuckle from him while his hand ran down her spine slowly, making her shiver, her back arching so she was pressing her breasts into his chest more.

"Emma?" A female voice made both of them pull apart, turning their heads to the direction of the stables, only to see Ruby a second later. Within seconds, Emma's face was bright red, and Killian started to laugh, sinking back into the sand, his hands covering his face to turn the loud laugh into muffled sounds. The princess - who was still sitting on his lap - was slapping him playfully on the chest before she looked back at her friend.

"You know what, I'll just come back later or…I would say I would visit you in your room but…just visit me when you're…done." Ruby gestured with her hand from Emma to Killian and back to Emma before she vanished back behind the stables but not without shooting Emma a knowing smirk. As soon as the dark haired woman was gone, the princess groaned loudly and buried her face in the chest of the young man beneath her.

"She is going to ask me questions. Every kind of question," she mumbled against his skin, his chest hair tickling her softly. He ran a hand through her hair, playing with the strands. "As long as you tell her I'm good." He laughed again, and he had no idea that she already loved the sound of his laugh more than anything else.

"Killian!" she cried and raised her head, bright red again with an embarrassed expression on her face. "Oh, got you! You think I'm right." He rocked his hips up against her, not really able to hide the for now small bulge in his pants pressing up against her. Of course he was aware of the fact that they never had sex the way it was supposed to be, but he knew it was just a matter of time. When they were married, they had to with everyone watching. He wasn't sure if she could handle it.

"I'll just go and talk to Ruby. I'm sure it's just about tonight," Emma said and got up from him, walking over to where her shirt was before she pulled it over her head. He moved into a sitting position again and was watching her for a moment, tilting his head. "What is tonight?" he asked her, not remembering anything important.

"Girls night. So we can tattle about you guys." She stuck her tongue out and put her sword back into the sheath. "Oi! You're not allowed to tattle about your future king!" he protested with a small laugh before he got up and threw his shirt over his head and brushed off the dust on it. "No, but I can tattle about my future husband."

He groaned at her comment and shook his head slightly, taking her sword to lean it against the stables like he did with his after putting it back into the sheath. "See you tonight," she said and smiled at him, pressing a kiss against his cheek, and before he could say anything, she was behind the stables and on her way back into the castle.

Killian took a deep breath and sat down on a bundle of hay, grabbing his aching chest for a second before he moved his fingers to his lips. Kissing her had hurt him in his chest, but it had also soothed his pain in the same second. It wasn't the first time he had kissed her but it was the first time he had kissed her that way. For once, he couldn't deny he was feeling good, that he was feeling something at all. She was causing him pain but was curing him at the same time. She was pushing his darkness away but was scaring him in the same second.

After what Ariel had told him, he wanted to believe it in some way. Wanted to believe that Emma could cure him in a way he didn't understand. Since the witch had taken his heart, he had been alone, feeling alone. After Milah, he had fallen into this big hole of darkness, and now the princess was pulling him out of it. He was afraid, but she also gave him one thing he had lost a long time ago: Hope.

The prince had tried to open himself up to her with that kiss, his mind,  _his soul_  told him to. He wasn't sure if he wanted to change, was afraid of the guilt that might come over him after everything he had done. But just the fact that he was actually afraid, that he could feel fear to a certain level was a huge step. Was it just because of the kiss? That simple gesture of pressing the lips together that made him feel different? Made him feel at all?

Ariel's words were still in his head, words like soulmate and the talk about his mother. For a moment he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He missed her so much. Maybe Emma was the way to change him so his mother could be proud. He just wanted her to be proud of the little boy that grew up way too fast and fell into a darkness without having a real chance.

Killian ran his hand through his hair, pressing his eyes shut again. For a brief moment, he felt utterly horrible about everything. It was his fault his mother was dead, and he didn't redeem himself in any way in all these years where he had lived without her. He wished he could get her back, trading his life for hers. She was a better person than he was, but as fast as that feeling came, it was gone again, and he could take another deep breath, trying to control himself, trying to shut the feelings away. He wouldn't be able to handle the pain, the hate and the guilt without Emma around, but he also couldn't be around her all the time.

He needed to learn to control, somehow. But he also needed time to get his thoughts straight. He didn't know what to think, was confused, but he knew one thing for sure:

He was screwed.


	16. Chapter 16

The princess was on the way to Ruby's room with slow steps, not very keen on getting into an interrogation with her friend after what she had seen minutes before. Killian and her, her sitting on his lap while their lips were crashing against each other. She still had no idea where that came from, but for the moment it had felt right. Being in his arms, being around him, spending time with him. Normally, her mind told her to get away from him, that he was dangerous, but today had been different.

She couldn't really explain it, but thinking about kissing him like that made her stomach flip a little in every positive way. Thinking about it made her smile and a little giggly. Knowing that he could be a different man made her happy. Maybe they would have a chance together after all if he would let go of the darkness that was surrounding him. Apparently, he could be a good man if he wanted to and then he was this…villain. He had two sides, two faces, probably more actually. He could be charming and manipulating, he could be rude and cruel, he could be loving and gentle and yet, she had still no clue who was the real Killian even though her heart told her that the man she had just kissed was the real one. But why would he hide that?

As soon as she was in front of Ruby's door, she stopped briefly and took a deep breath before she pushed it open only to see Tink and Ruby sitting on the bed together, looking toward her with small smirks on their faces, and Emma was about to back out when Ruby jumped up and ran toward her, closing the door and pushing her more into the room.

"You're not leaving! You tell us everything." She nodded and grabbed a chair, placing it in front of the bed to push Emma down there by the shoulders before she sat back next to Tink, elbows on her thighs, head in her hands, looking like a little kid waiting for a story.

Emma scratched her cheek slightly with a shy smile, a little confused about what exactly she should tell. She could imagine what Ruby wanted to hear, but there were things she wouldn't tell them, even though they were best friends.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to," Tink said with a soft smile, but her eyes were as curious as Ruby's. "Hush, of course she has to!" Emma groaned at the words of her friends and shook her head with a soft smile, leaning back into the chair a little, crossing her legs.

"We just kissed. It wasn't that much of a thing," Emma said and shrugged, trying to play the whole thing down a little, but when she saw the glimpse in Ruby's eyes, she knew that she wouldn't get out of here until she told every little dirty detail.

"It looked like much of a thing to me. You sitting on his lap, kissing each other, little grunts and hips thrusting and-," Ruby was about to continue when Emma kicked her against the knee, earning a chuckle from Tink. "I was there, okay?! No need to tell me again. You're the worst." Emma laughed softly and shook her head, running her hand through her hair.

"Do you like him?" the other blonde asked and took Emma slightly off guard with this question. Ruby raised an eyebrow, supporting the question, and the Princess took a deep breath, not really sure what to say. Did she like him? Yeah, probably. How much did she like him? Obviously enough to kiss him and almost have sex with him.

She shrugged slightly. "I guess, yeah. I wouldn't kiss someone I don't like." For a moment, she chewed on her bottom lip, but before she could say anything else, Tink took the word again. "I know he can be an ass, but he's a good man somewhere behind that. It's okay to like him." She gave her an encouraging smile, and Emma nodded back, but Ruby seemed even more curious now.

"How much do you like him? What things do you want to do to him?" she asked and wiggled her eyebrows, earning a groan from Emma. She took another deep breath, seeing the image of the smiling and laughing man in front of her eye and couldn't hide a little smile that appeared on her lips.

"I don't know. I mean, I have to like him, I have to marry him in maybe a few months so it's nothing bad, eh? And I don't want to do anything to him! Kissing him was nice, sure but…I don't know." She shook her head with a small giggle, pictures of him between her legs flashing in front of her eyes, a small blush creeping upon her cheeks.

"Emma. Dear Emma. We've been friends for so long now, and I can see you're hiding something from me. So please, for all the gods above us, tell us everything." Another kick against Ruby's kneecap while Emma blushed harder, hating her friend for knowing too much. "You're a pain in the ass!" The dark haired woman just shrugged slightly, not really caring about it.

"Maybe we did more than kissing. Maybe we did some stuff while…naked." She almost swallowed the last word down so the other girls wouldn't hear it, but in the second she spoke it both pair of eyes went wide, and Emma wanted to crawl under the bed to hide. She never liked talking about such things.

"You had sex?!" Ruby asked and shifted closer to the edge of the bed, but Emma shook her head. "No. He wanted to, but I didn't. He was okay with it. Gave me pleasure with…other…body parts." That was embarrassing, and she knew why she didn't want to be here. But Ruby just laughed and wiggled her eyebrows again. "So he used his tongue? Fingers? Was he good?"

"I think this is my time to go," Emma said and was about to get up but Tink shook her head, catching the attention of the Princess who sank down on the chair again. "That's not his usual behavior." The other blonde in her green dress shook her head slightly, scratching her chin.

"What do you mean?" Emma tilted her head slightly, curious about what Tink had to say. "Well, as far as I know, he was never okay with it when a woman denied him. Not that they did often or that he took her anyway, but he was always really grumpy after it." Ruby raised an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes, shifting closer to Tink to look at her.

"Did you two have a thing?" The blonde just laughed at the question, shaking her head a few times. "God, no. We're really good friends, nothing else. Even though he started to keep his distance a few years ago, I still know him quite well. I can see that he's changing, especially after what Ruby told me."

Emma groaned slightly and shot Ruby a glare before she turned back to Tink. "What did she tell you?" Tink laughed and winked at her. "Besides the obvious stuff with the kissing and touching and groaning? That he seemed happy. That he laughed and smiled. He wasn't like this for years. After his last girlfriend he hadn't been happy."

The Princess froze and frowned. His last girlfriend? He hadn't told her about a girlfriend, she just knew about the women he took to sleep with. "What girlfriend?" she asked and got a confused look from Tink who tilted her head. "Milah. He didn't tell you about her?" Emma shook her head and felt her chest ache slightly at the thought that he had been happy with another woman.

"No. What happened?" Tink swallowed at the question and sighed, shaking her head before she gave Emma an apologetic look. "That's not my tale to tell. Ask him, he hates it when other people tell such things when it's about him. But don't push it, he hates talking about it." Emma nodded and was wondering what happened if he had been so lucky with her. She doubted that he had killed her like he had killed his step mother, but she obviously wasn't around anymore either.

The Princess was deep in her thoughts when Tink's voice pulled her out of it. "Do you love him?" If any other question didn't take her off guard, this one did. Hard. For a moment, she just blinked at the other blonde woman before she could even catch a breath. Love? The last time she thought she was in love ended in a huge mess. Did she love the Prince? Did she feel more than just a liking and pure natural attraction to him?

"I…I'm not sure." She really wasn't. On the one hand, she liked him a lot and being around him as long as he was the man she learned to like, not that asshole that was pushing her around like a dog. On the other hand, she wasn't quite sure how real love was supposed to feel, the last time just an empty promise of not being alone anymore.

"Let me give you advice. Find out. I think he really likes you and cares about you. Saving you from the fire and all. He might have a soft spot for you and it would be a shame if it would be in vain because he barely cares about people anymore. How about you two spend more time together alone, like going on a ride or something?" Tink smiled and Ruby laughed, the other two raising an eyebrow at her.

"Going on a ride sounds good to me," she said and wiggled her eyebrows, another kick meeting her knee. "I swear, Emma, if I get bruises it's your fault!" Emma just laughed and stuck her tongue out, sighing slightly. Maybe Tink was right. Maybe they should really spend more time alone, learning more about each other.

"I guess I'll try that. Thank you." Tink gave her a nod back and Ruby was about to say something, but Emma cut her off with a mischievous smirk on her face. "What?" the dark haired woman asked and noticed how Emma shifted closer with her chair.

"Now that we talked about Killian and me, how about you talk about you and Victor?"

* * *

He leaned on the windowsill with an aching chest while he looked out in the darkness that came over the land as soon as the sun had vanished behind the horizon. A little ironic thinking about how the sun could be Emma for him, and as soon as she was gone, the darkness came back. He realized he couldn't lose her, he knew it very well, but on the other side he was afraid to get too close. Afraid that she got too close.

His past was still full of mysteries and secrets, things she could never know, things that would put her in danger. If he would tell her about his missing heart, about the fact that he was hiding it in the castle, the Dark One would get her and torture her until he got it out of her, maybe kill her afterward, and it would be all his fault. He needed to keep his lies up to protect her, and he hated himself for it.

All his life people have lied to him to protect him, and he got the urge to push Emma away from him now that he had let her in, had been able to feel what it means to feel good and whole. With her, he had felt complete, like his heart wasn't missing at all. Maybe it was the soulmate thing, maybe it was her laugh, the little shocks that run through his spine every time she had touched him. Maybe it was her smile that had pressed up against his lips when he had kissed her. He didn't know.

He was torn between a life in darkness but without feeling anything, without feeling guilty, without feeling hate and a life with her in it, with the light to his darkness, soothing his pain from the past but also with bringing all of his feelings back, maybe not able to stay by his side like he needed it. He didn't know what would happen if he started to feel everything, wasn't sure if he could handle it or if he would go insane. Maybe he would hurt her while the pain in his chest drove him mad.

"Killian?"

The prince didn't turn around when he heard her voice, couldn't see the small smile on her lips when she closed the door silently, not wanting to destroy the peace in the room. A few candles and the moon lightened the room up so she was able to see him while his eyes were locked on the dark forest outside the castle.

"Girls night over?" he asked her with a low chuckle and heard how she came over to him. He felt her wrapping her arms around him, and he tensed up for a second but relaxed when she put her head on his back, hugging him slightly. It was almost like they would fit perfectly together, her smaller body pressed against his taller one, a silent gesture of affection.

He couldn't hide the small smile on his lips when she was so close to him. He could take in her scent and closed his eyes for a moment. He had no idea what was happening to him, between them, but he didn't complain. It was okay.

"Why do you like me?" he asked in a whisper and took her slightly off guard, could feel how she raised her head. "What do you mean?" A low laugh escaped him, not a happy one for sure before he turned in her arms, leaning against the windowsill, his elbows on it, but her arms never leaving his body, still wrapped around him, her head falling on his chest.

"A few weeks ago you told me how much you hate me and now here you are, hugging me after I kissed you," he spoke softly, almost afraid he could ruin something from what he didn't know was already there, growing between them like a little flower. "I'm not a man to like, Emma. I'm more of a monster, I'm dangerous, I can't control myself. And yet you're still here, by my side, knowing I could hurt you."

She lifted her head from his chest and smiled up at him, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his lips before she shook her head. "You won't hurt me. A monster is just someone who's alone, who isn't loved. But you're not alone anymore if you decide to let me in. Let me help."

For a moment, he could feel the darkness rising in him, making him angry. He wanted her to tell him that he didn't need help, that he could handle it on his own. The urge to push her away was strong and he started to shake, embarrassed that she noticed, but she just wrapped her arms around him again, pulling him close so that he couldn't do anything else other than wrap his arms around her too.

"Don't push me away."

He froze at her words for a moment and pulled away slightly, tilting his head but just got a smile back from her. She had done the same, he could see it in her eyes, those beautiful green eyes. For a second, he chuckled before he spun her around in his arms so that he was the one who was hugging her from behind, turning them so they were able to look out of the window.

"Killian?" she asked in a whisper while she pressed herself against him more.

A small "Hm?" was his simple answer, and she laughed softly, placing her hand on his that rested on her stomach. "Would you mind going for a ride with me tomorrow?" She hoped that Tink had been right and he would agree. She wanted to get to know him better.

"I would never mind you riding me, love," he laughed and tugged on her earlobe for a moment before she slapped his arm playfully with a groan. "You're just as bad as Ruby! Oh my god." She shook her head and tried to hold back a childish giggle. "If you were friends, I would be in trouble," she admitted with a soft laugh and looked up at him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged slightly. "She doesn't like me, but to answer your question like a gentleman: No, I wouldn't mind going on a ride with you tomorrow. But why are you asking?" He looked down at her and tilted his head slightly, his fingers interlacing with hers.

"I want to get to know you. The real Killian. Not some asshole, not that charming but manipulative prince. I want to get to know the man that is holding me right now and makes me feel safe." She swallowed hard and her eyes were locked with his, it almost looked like they started to shine again instead of being dull like they had been all the time.

The prince was silent for a long moment, and she was afraid he wouldn't agree with the reason, but then he nodded, pressing a kiss against her temple. "I can't promise but I can try."

Yes, he would try, for her. He didn't know much about her either and with Ariel's words in his ear, he could at least try to get her to know, try to find out why he was feeling the way he did when she was around. Normally, he hated this kind of physical contact. Sex was okay, but a hug or these kind of kisses were so different, and he had never allowed it but here he was, holding her in his arms without any idea why it made him feel good. He simply did it because he wanted to, because something inside of him told him to.

What they had was so simple but complex at the same time. Maybe he let her touch him this way because he actually craved it way too much. Maybe he just wanted to be held like she had done it because he was afraid of breaking apart if she didn't hold him. Maybe he was the weak one, not she.

"And Emma?" he said quietly after a long moment of pure silence between them.

"Yes?" she answered, something curious in her voice, not quite sure what would come out of him now.

"I like you too."

* * *

It had been a night full of cuddling and stolen kisses, holding hands and stolen glances when the other one had been already asleep. When he was asleep, he had looked like nothing had ever hurt him, like a young man who had grown up way too fast without being able to stop it. But he had looked peaceful, and she had loved the expression on his face while tracing her fingers carefully over his features for quite a while while the other hand had been holding his.

When she woke up this morning, he was gone as usual, and she couldn't hide the little hurt feeling inside of her. He always left her, every morning, and for a moment she thought that he might be afraid of waking up next to her, of getting too attached to her but she shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her head.

She looked at the empty side of the bed and frowned when she saw a piece of paper before she grabbed it, her name on it. A smile settled on her lips, and she opened the folded paper to read a little note.

"Meet me in two hours at the stables. Get riding clothes. Want to show you something," she read out loud and her smile grew wider, curious about what he wanted to show her. She hadn't seen much of the kingdom so far, only the little part of the forest where they had been riding through before he had ended it. Maybe she would not only learn more about him but also about the kingdom, the landscape, maybe some animals her kingdom didn't have.

She smiled down for a long moment at the letter before she rolled on her back and closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. She may not know much about him, but she knew that she was falling for him, harder and faster than she had expected to.


	17. Chapter 17

Two hours later she met him at the stables and as soon as she saw him, her whole face lit up. He smiled back at her almost shyly while stroking the mane of his black horse, hers already next to him. She could also see his usual weapons, remembering how he had told her the woods aren't as safe as they used to be but she was sure that he take them too far away from the castle.

"Good morning, love," he greeted and bowed slightly in front of her, he seemed to be in a good mood and she was glad. She knew his other moods and didn't care to spend time with him when he was being an asshole.

"Morning, handsome."

He quirked an eyebrow at her chosen greeting. She stopped in front of him and wasn't quite sure if she should kiss him, hug him or just do nothing but before she could act, he had already turned around and stepped next to her horse, holding his hand out. She smiled and took it, allowing him to help her mount.

Emma let her hand ran over the mane of her horse and frowned slightly when Killian gave her a small basket. "Hold this for me, love." He grinned before he turned his back to her, getting on his own horse.

She lifted the blanket that was above the basket and could see all kinds of food inside. Bread, fruits, cheese, sausage. "Never thought of you as a romantic," she said and looked at him, watching how he scratched behind his ear. She had seen this quite often now, always when he was unsure or nervous, it was rather endearing, actually.

"I'm not, this was Tink's idea," he mumbled and started riding in front of her while she was following him with a small smile on her lips.

"So you got rendezvous help from Tink?" she asked, holding the basket close to her body, hoping she wouldn't lose it as she gently laughed. Unfortunately, she couldn't see his face because she was still riding behind him, he probably had done that on purpose.

He sighed loudly and shook his head. "Well apparently she knew better than I did when I met her this morning. She gave me the basket and told me not to screw this up. I don't even want to know what you three talked at girls night."

She couldn't see it but knew he was smirking slightly while she was the one who was blushing now. Damn it, Tink!

She was quiet for a few minutes until the forest around them changed a little, it wasn't as dark as before and she frowned a little. "Where are we going?" she asked and tilted her head a little, smiling when a rabbit passed by and the birds started to sing around them. It was almost like they were in a different forest now.

"Just a little further, you'll see it." He laughed and turned his head towards her with a small grin on his face. She really, really liked this side on him. Kind of carefree, not like a prince, more like a boy. A man who could be himself when he was out of the castle. Maybe, just maybe, it was the fault of those cold brick walls he was surrounded by every day that made him that darker version of himself, perhaps she wasn't the only one who spent many years of her life in a golden cage.

His horse trotted slower and slower until they finally stood in a glade with a blue sea in the middle, connected to a waterfall. For a moment she was stunned. The water was sparkling, the sun breaking the light in it while the birds sang their songs.

"You coming?" His voice ripped her out of her thoughts, looking over to him only to see that the water had almost the same shade of blue as his eyes. It made her smile and she gave him the basket before she jumped down from the horse, tying the reins to a tree, right next to those of his horse.

When she walked back to him he had already put the blanket down in the grass, laying upon it with closed eyes and his arms behind his head.

"What are you doing?"

It looked a strange, him just laying there on the blanket, not saying anything sarcastic or trying to flirt with her. Instead of opening his eyes or speaking, he just patted the blanket next to him with his hand before he put it back under his head.

Emma sighed and shook her head before she sat down, looking at his peaceful face, before sinking down until her back hit the soft, red blanket.

"I'm listening," he finally said and she frowned, turning her head to look at him. He was still not looking at her, his eyes closed with a small smile on his lips.

"To what exactly?" He just chuckled and lifted his hand, drawing it around in the air in circles.

"Everything. Close your eyes and try it. Focus." She actually wanted to tell him that he was being stupid, but there was something in his voice that convinced her to try it anyway. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, arms placed straight next to her body.

At first, nothing really happened and she huffed impatiently but then she felt his hand took hers, twisting their fingers together, and she could feel the blush creeping on her cheeks, hoping he had his eyes still closed so he wouldn't see it. She relaxed more and more, heard the wind around them, a soft air draught while the birds were singing around them, the water was falling down in the background and it had something magical.

She heard him moving, the blanket rustling under them and when she opened her eyes, she was looking in his blue ones, his hands placed next to her head. She raised her hand to let her fingers slide along his jaw, feeling the rough stubble under her fingertips before she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, only to feel him putting more pressure into the kiss until he pulled back and rolled off her into a sitting position.

"It's a part of the Light Forest. We have the Dark Forest, where no one ever goes and where mysterious thing take place and this around us is it's counterpart - the Light Forest."

For a moment her mind went back to the first ride they had together and she frowned. "I almost rode into it, right?" He didn't seem to understand her question and she sat up, pulling a little on her brown riding shirt.

"The day we rode together the first time and you almost killed me with that arrow." The confusion faded from his face and he nodded, remembering quite well now how she almost rode over the boundaries of the Light Forest right into the dark land where witches and bandits were at home.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked while she reached over to the basket to get some bread and cheese, acting like it would be a casual conversation.

"Not a good thing to scare a princess off you have to marry." He shrugged and moved to get an apple out of the basket. She was quiet for a moment and chewed on her bottom lip, it didn't sound like he wanted to marry and for some reason, it made her sad. The urge in her told her to ask him if he really had no desire to wed her but she just shook her head slightly, she couldn't ask that. They would marry each other, no matter if they wanted to or not. But a part of her still yearned to be wanted by him.

Both of them were quiet, caught in their own thoughts while they ate their food. Sometimes he looked at her and she smiled at him, he smiled back before his gaze wandered around to the sea and sometimes she was the one who looked at him first. They didn't need to talk to understand each other and the silence wasn't uncomfortable.

What they didn't know was, that two pairs of eyes were watching them from behind the bushes and trees, trying to be as silent as possible.

"Why do we need to hide? We could get over there and say hello..." Victor whispered and looked over to Ruby who looked rather too happy to see the couple on the blanket near the sea. Good thing that Tink knew Killian's favourite spot in the forest.

"Are you daft? We're not interrupting them!" she huffed and shook her head at the man she was falling in love with. "Besides, I can totally see what's happening." She giggled and Victor wondered how she could change her mood so fast: probably a woman's thing.

"What exactly are you talking about?" He tilted his head while crouching behind the bush, trying to get a better look but Ruby took all the space.

"They don't even have a clue. They will fall in love. It's magic around here, a romantic atmosphere, it's perfect," she told him and snickered slightly while he narrowed his eyes at her words before he grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on it.

"Then we should go and leave them alone," he said in a whisper and smiled at her, getting a nod in reply before they both left in silence.

Emma frowned slightly and turned around, looking into the forest. "Did you hear something?" she asked and looked back, a little confused when she saw Killian standing but he just shook his head with a smirk on his lips.

"What are you up to?" She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, opening her mouth a little when he kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head, not bothering to answer her. When he opened his pants, her eyes widened and she hated that smirk on his face.

"Killian, I swear to god, if you want to show me your-" she gestured in the direction of his crotch while he was fumbling with the laces, "-then no thank you, I don't want to see it."

He just laughed at her and shook his head, sliding his pants down until he was only in his undergarments in front of her with a wide smirk on his face that grew even wider when he saw her blushing. She was really cute, actually. He had never expected to call her cute, even if it was just in his head but he had also never expected to show her his favourite spot of the whole kingdom.

"The sea is quite warm around this time of the year," he finally said with a wink before he ran over and jumped into the water. She jumped to her feet and walked over to the edge of the sea, looking around for him while shaking her head with a giggle. He was an idiot. An adorable idiot, when he wanted to be.

She couldn't put her finger on it what she was feeling for him or what he was feeling for her but the way they acted with each other, the way he could be gentle when he wanted to was a good sign for the coming marriage. She didn't know how long it would take the king to decide for the best time, maybe only a couple of weeks more.

If he stayed this way, she was convinced that they would do good in living together to reign a kingdom. Sure, she was still not certain about the words he had said - about only him being king and she being his puppet but for now, it didn't seem like he wanted to hold on to that. They were equals and he didn't treat her like his dog or his toy, it seemed like he had accepted her.

"Do you want to swim with your clothes on?" he suddenly yelled out from the middle of the sea and pulling her out of her thoughts. He laughed loudly and waved at her, making a sign that she should come into the water with him and she just shook her head.

"I rather stay here and watch you," she yelled back and shook her head, crossing her arms over her shoulders when he swam back to her, the sea still so deep that he was barely standing, the water just below his neck. He tilted his head and used his puppy eyed look on her and she just huffed, shaking her head.

"I could just pull you in." He chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows slightly while she took a step back out of his reach.

"Don't you dare!" she growled and he lifted himself out of the water, walking towards her with a wolfish grin, holding his arms out like he would just grab her, toss her over his shoulder and throw her into the water with her clothes on. She held her hands out for protection, glaring at him but couldn't hide the small smile that was on her lips.

Gods, she hated the ridiculously boyish smile on his lips - all the while his whole body was dripping, the linen pants he was wearing were soaked and barely hiding his body beneath, his chest hair was clinging to his skin just like some of his wet hair strands to his forehead. She shook her head, how could he be so adorable, handsome and dangerous at the same time?

He took her off guard when he made a quick step forward, throwing her over his shoulder in one swift movement and she shrieked loudly, could feel the water from his skin through her clothes and she hit his back a few times with her hands, trying to wiggle out of his grip while he walked back towards the water.

"Let me down, Killian! I swear, let me down now or-" she started to protest but his laugh cut her off and he stopped walking, slapping her ass playfully.

"Or what?" She could hear the challenge in his voice but she didn't even know the answer to his question - she had no idea what she would do if he wouldn't let her down so she just sighed.

"Fine. Let me down and I'll get rid of the clothes to go swimming with you." She groaned and tried to sound annoyed but she really wasn't, it could be worse. Like them swimming completely nude.

He watched how she walked towards the blanket where his clothes lay on the ground and smiled when she started to get out of her boots. She was beautiful and stunning, why hadn't he realized this earlier? That she was caring and loving, that she was probably one of the few people who truly cared about him? Maybe because he was stubborn, maybe because the darkness was still pooling somewhere inside of him but now that she was with him, her light made him shine and suppressed the darkness in his veins.

She meant something to him, he knew that. He found himself dreaming of her, pulling her closer while she slept with the urge to be as near as possible to her. She made him feel safe and confident, not lonely anymore and it was that that sparked a belief in him that maybe she would be able to cure his dark past. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he wasn't supposed to feel anything for her. He wasn't supposed to feel at all. But here she was, pulling her shirt over her head without any care because he had seen more of her and every part of his body was humming with want for her.

He was cursed and not even supposed to be alive but with her, everything seemed to be easy. Living was easier when she was around, not just surviving as he had previously done for years. After he had lost his heart, he had only survived and never truly lived. But now he was playfully when he was around her, enjoying her presence, enjoying life: with her. Together. He wouldn't let her go anymore. He wanted her by his side, as his queen, as equals. He had no idea if it would actually work, if he could really control the darkness inside of him but he could try. Maybe his mother would be proud of him.

"Stop staring at me like that!" she whined slightly when she turned around, only her linen undergarments on and her arms crossed over her chest, shooting him a glare that made him smile.

"Like what?" he asked and tilted his head, taking a step closer to her only to see that she didn't take one back like she usually did. They weren't playing this game anymore where he was the predator and she was the prey, both knew it.

She huffed angrily and shook her head. "Like..." she started but stopped, causing him to chuckle while she gestured with her hands, trying to find the right words. He took another step closer, standing right in front of her now, could feel the heat from her body.

"Like you're beautiful?" His voice was soft and his gaze full of awe, a smile on his lips before he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Because you are and I have every right," he whispered against her neck and pulled back to find a blush on her cheeks.

Killian laughed softly before he threw her over his shoulder again, carrying her to the sea. She protested and cursed him loudly but he couldn't care less before he threw her into the water, jumping right after her. When he came back up he saw her running a hand through her hair, trying to get the wet locks out of her face before she shot him another glare.

"You're an idiot," she mumbled and splashed some water over to him. He huffed and shook his head, splashing some back at her. If someone had have told him he would ever act like this, he would have laughed. But now? It felt like he was a young boy again who was living out his life with his first love.

Love.

He was not in love.

Was he?

He didn't have time to think about it, another wave of water came over him and he plunged under to swim over to her, coming up right in front of Emma with a grin on his face. They were back in the area where both of them could stand and she raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to make a move but he wasn't quite sure what she was expecting.

"If I get a cold it's your fault," she whispered and her hands came around his neck, pulling him a little closer while she tumbled back a little until her back hit the rocky edge of the sea, dirt pressing into her back but she couldn't care less and neither could he.

His hands came to rest on her hip under the water, playing slightly with the waistband, dipping a finger underneath and he saw how goosebumps were building on the skin of her arms and chest, a shiver running through her body. The thumb of his other hand ran over her toned stomach and drew small circles while he kept smiling at her.

"That's a cross I'm willing to bear. I'll take care of you," he promised and winked playfully at her.

"You're an idiot," she whispered, feeling how he pressed closer to her - his breath hot on her face, not able to hold back the smile that was on her lips just because he was close… She loved when he was near to her, she loved when his hands were all over her body - loved the way he talked to her and the way he looked at her. She loved everything he did.

_She loved him._

"I know. But only for you," He chuckled breathlessly before he pressed a kiss on her lips, one that was gentle but quickly turned more passionate. His tongue ran over her pink lips and she opened them, letting his tongue slip inside to battle with hers, soft moans escaping both of them while the water lapped against their bodies.

She bit down on his bottom lip and pulled on it slightly, he followed and groaned into the kiss, her hands finding their ways into his wet hair, tugging on it slightly while they tilted their heads to get better access to the mouth of the other. His fingers were digging into her waist, trying to hold her steady in the water, possibly leaving some bruises but both couldn't care.

When they pulled apart, both of them were panting but smiling at the same time, he raised a hand to move a wet, golden lock behind her ear, gazing at her in a way that made her shiver again. His fingers were still on her hip, the taste of him on her lips, the lingering sensation on her cheek where his fingers had brushed her.

Her heart skipped a beat when his fingers dipped under her waistband again. He was hesitant - he didn't seem sure if she wanted him to go further or not and she was glad he was waiting for her to make a move, being a gentleman. The gentleman she had never expected him to be.

Without thinking she rocked her hips forward a little, meeting his in a thrust and she saw how he swallowed, biting her bottom lip as his hand moved more into her undergarment, his fingers sliding between her folds and brushing over her clit briefly. Her legs shook at the touch and a low moan escaped her but she held his gaze, his eyes seemed to be more blue than usual.

"You're wet," he whispered when his fingers slipped lower and brushed over her entrance. She slapped him gently against the back of his head before she twisted her fingers in his hair again and blushed at his words - his coarseness and loose tongue still jarring to her.

"We're in the sea. Of course I'm wet." He didn't reply and instead placed another kiss on her lips, softly running his tongue along her bottom one before he dipped two fingers inside of her - slowly, almost teasingly so.

She could feel the heat consume her as he eased inside and her head fell back a little, rocking her hips against his fingers, trying to get as much friction as possible, letting the water support her weight.

He started to move his fingers in and out of her slowly, while his thumb brushed over her clit every so softly, making her shiver with every touch and she felt like she would burn alive. He made her feel things she had never felt before and she loved it, loved him and she never wanted it to stop. There was passion between them, a tension that was building up more and more with every word they said and every move they made and she knew one day they would let it out. All of it.

"Fuck," she groaned and rocked her hips against his fingers, getting a chuckle from him. "You like that love?" he asked playfully and she fisted her hand in his hair more, yanking on it a little, urging him to go on with what he was doing. His other hand moved to her ass, squeezing it tightly and pressing her closer against his hand and his body. She closed her eyes when she felt herself coming closer.

"Come for me," he pleaded softly in her ear when she suddenly shook her head and grabbed his hand, pulling it out of her undergarments. A confused look appeared on his face and for a moment he was afraid that he had done something wrong, afraid he had ruined their moment - their time together - but seconds later she rocked her hips against his again, feeling him hard against her and he groaned loudly.

"Come with me," she whispered in a low tone and kissed his rough stubble briefly while she moved a hand down to the front of the linen fabric that was covering his cock, squeezing him slightly. She had no idea where all this lust was coming from but she just knew that she didn't want to come alone, wanted to see him falling over the edge for her, with her, together.

He shook his head slightly and grabbed her wrist. "I'm not going to take you, Emma. Not like this." His voice was only a whisper and she shushed him, placing a kiss on his lips, shaking her head a little before she wiggled her wrist out of his grip.

"That's not what I mean. I want it like in our room - the other day. You know like...you know." She blushed even harder and it made him gasp, a sound so full of unexpected tender emotion - emotions she had been looking for so long and now she had finally found them - no he finally showed them - she barely had the time to process her surprise.

But when he pushed his linen pants down far enough so his cock sprang free and she could grip him, stroke him and make him moan, she knew that he had understood what she meant even without that she needed to explain it. Dirty talk was not her thing, she was inexperienced - she barely had pleasured another man before him so it was almost completely new. Reading books didn't help much with that, so talking was his thing, not hers. But she loved him talking - gods how she loved it. His rough voice like music to her ears.

He moved her back against the rocky earthen edge more, trying to find the best position to stand, shoving her own pants down a little, moving his hips against hers before he covered her hand with his. Gently he hitched her leg around his hips and then the other - she splayed one arm along the bank holding herself in place.

Slowly he slid his cock between her wet folds, not enough to slip into her or to take her maidenhood, but far enough to coat him with her arousal and it made him groan, made him stutter - she just felt so perfect. Hot and wet and soft. The urge to take her properly rose in his veins but he couldn't, he wouldn't, until she allowed it, gave a clear yes to him. He didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to scare her, he just wanted to pleasure her like she deserved, like she needed, like she wanted.

Her hand grabbed his necklace, pulling him to her into a rough kiss with lip biting and panting and strangled moans while the water around them swirled as their hips rocked against one another in a searing rhythm. His free hand found his way to her clit, rubbing on it and she threw her head back again in a moan but he just growled at her.

"Look at me. I want to see how you fall apart." A simple request that meant so much more, to both of them. Her eyes found his, green met blue and what she saw in them was so strange. It wasn't the dull blue anymore, it wasn't even that little shiny blue from earlier, it was deep blue, sea blue, blue like the winter sky and the water that surrounded them, his eyes telling a story of loneliness and pain but at the same time they were showing so much more.

She knew that look and it made her smile, causing her bury her fingers more into his hair, holding his head. His eyes never left hers, turning only more blue, dark blue, dark with passion and lust and all because of her and she could feel herself blush because he was like this because of her, she made him like this and she loved it.

Both were panting faster and faster, their movements of hip thrusting because more sloppy, more erratic until both of them started to groan at the same time, still trying to hold the gaze of the other, trying to read the other, using the eyes at the mirror to the soul, finding answers of question they never really had before.

And while he saw all of what he had seen before, the care she had for him, the feeling he had seen but never accepted, she saw the face of a man who adored her to no end, who maybe even loved her without knowing it and maybe she would have been scared if the haze of lust wasn't around them. Maybe. Or maybe she would accept hat he finally opened up to her and she would let him in like, he would let her in.

In the mists of incoherent thought, they climaxed in tandem. His release spilling onto her stomach and his head falling to her shoulder. As soon as both were able to catch a breath he put on hand on the edge behind her, the other one moving to hold her hip, trying to support himself and her while he smiled in the crook of her neck, placing some kisses there. He pulled back and smiled at her, looking a little tired, drunken from lust and his orgasm.

Once more she moved her hand through his hair before she nodded towards the blanket. "Let's get out of it before it gets too cold." She smiled and wiggled slightly out of his grip, whining briefly at the lost of the contact of their skin touching, quickly washing away his release, before she moved out of the water, padding over to the blanket to let herself fall down on it with a sigh.

She lay back and turned on her stomach, grabbing a strawberry from the basket. Only seconds later she could hear Killian coming over and lay down next to her. She smiled and wanted to roll over on her back but he was too quick and moved around to spoon her from behind. He met her halfway.

"You're still wet," he mumbled close to her ear and she just groaned and rolled her eyes before she closed them, slapping his arm when he wrapped it around her, pulling her closer.

"And you're an idiot," she murmured and put her hand in his, twisting their fingers together while she smiled over to the sea, the blush still on her cheeks.

"I know," he whispered and placed a kiss on her neck while he waited for the sun to dry them a little more. It was okay for her to call him an idiot because he was  _her_  idiot.

Time passed by quickly, prince and princess both falling asleep quite fast, both dreaming about each other while he held her in his strong arms as if he was going to protect her from everything in the world but knowing that she should need protection from him the most. He knew that he wasn't good for her but selfishly he knew she made him better - she liked being with him and he wouldn't let her go just because of his fear. The fear of himself that was holding him back.

And she seemed to know that she didn't live with a monster, a murderer and a killer. He might have done some bad things in the past but she saw that he was changing, for her, because of her and she accepted him like this, all of his sides, the good and the bad without knowing his darkest secret. She knew now that he was feeling for her like she was feeling for him.

He nuzzled his nose against her neck when he slowly woke up again before he rolled on his back and sat up, hearing how she whined slightly when his warm body left hers. After a few more seconds she also opened her eyes and he smiled at her, leaning down to press a kiss on her forehead. She hummed in approval and he smirked before he got up and pulled his pants back on, followed by his shirt.

"I liked you better without," she said and laughed a little, sticking her tongue out. He groaned and rolled his eyes but grinned at her anyway before she reached out with her hand and he took it, pulling her up on her feet.

"We should get home, hm?" Both looked towards the sky that had gotten a little redder, a sign that the sun was going down and he nodded, not really keen on spending more time than necessary in the woods when it was dark.

Emma nodded and pulled her clothes back on, happy about the fact that her undergarments have dried while she was sleeping in his arms, a small smile coming over her lips. Her gaze moved over to the basket with food and she chuckled.

"Too bad we barely ate anything." She looked at him and he caught her in an embrace, hugging her from behind, running a hand down her stomach before he placed some kisses on her shoulder, causing her to shiver.

He chuckled behind her and smirked against her skin. "We still have a whole night ahead of us. I'm sure we can find time for some food."

The king had started to behave strangely, Emma had noticed. Since then, Killian didn't like to eat in the big hall anymore like they all used to, he had started to take his meals alone and she had started the to do same, had found themselves eating together in their little room but she didn't mind.

Killian was about to answer her when a brief pain shot though the void in his chest and he raised his head immediately, taking a step away from her to look around with a frown on his forehead while he gripped his chest, fisting his hand in the material of his shirt. He tried to hide it somehow, taking deep breaths but of course she noticed and turned around to him, placing a hand on his arm.

"What's wrong?" she asked him but he just put a finger on his lips, giving her a sign to keep quiet while he moved over to the horses to take his belt and sword, putting it around his waist and taking the bow and arrow. He drew the bow and she frowned at him but kept quiet like he had told her.

He walked back to her, the pain in his chest getting stronger and stronger while he stood in front of her like as if to protect her from something that wasn't there. His hand gripped the bow harder and he panted, having trouble breathing and holding the bow at the same time and suddenly, the pain was gone. The sign of magic was gone.

With a frown he let the bow dip a little and let the sinew come back a little but as soon as both heard the whine of the horses their heads snapped around to see a man standing by the mares, holding their reins and Killian drew the bow again, only to be stopped by a dark and thick voice.

"I wouldn't do that, prince." The voice came from a man right in front of them, and he noticed they were surrounded by some shady looking men, dressed in brown and black clothes, some wearing masks, all with swords raised and he let out a growl, throwing his bow and arrow down to draw his sword out.

"This is not your territory, not at all, you should leave while you still can." The voice of the prince was nothing more than a warning growl, he was clearly not amused.

"Oh but with less guards and the help of the Dark One, it was so easy to get in here," the apparent leader said with a grin on his face, showing his yellow teeth and Killian snarled, holding an arm in front of Emma automatically, thinking about the words of the wizard about killing her or taking her.

"If you touch her, I'll let you suffer before I kill you." His voice was deep and warning, not more than another growl and Emma was slightly shocked about his sudden change in mood while she stood behind him, taking a step back and closer to the sea to make sure no one else was coming from behind, looking at the grinning and laughing men around.

They had no idea. No idea how lethal he could be when he was threatened and she could see the anger that was boiling up in him but and she didn't know what to do. She had no weapon, the horses were in the hands of these bandits and running away would be stupid. Gods, she hated that he needed to protect her and she couldn't do anything.

"We just want her, you can go. The Dark One wishes an audience with the future queen." Emma looked to the leader, then back at Killian, only seeing a little of the side of his face. He wouldn't do this, she knew he would protect her.

"Try your best," he growled at them and gripped his sword tighter, moving into the position he liked to fight and waited for them to attack. One move of the leader's hand and the man rushed towards him. Emma took another step back and watched them attacking with horror in their eyes, steel met steel, pants and low screams were disturbing the silence of the forest that was so peaceful only a few moments ago.

She saw how Killian's sword went right and with his leg he kicked one of the men away while he thrust his sword right through the stomach of the other, drawing it up a little and deepening the wound. Only a few seconds later the sound of a death rattle reached her eyes and she looked away - didn't want to see all that blood and all that pain in the eyes of the man, it didn't matter if he was an enemy.

The fight went on and more men came to attack Killian, for every man he killed, another came. Overwhelmed, the prince fell to the ground and was almost expecting a hit when he saw and heard the man above him scream. Seconds later he rolled to the side, out from under the man who was laying on his back in pain now, only to see that Emma had apparently hit the man with a sword she had picked up from the ground.

"Aren't you full or surprises," he chuckled before he shoved her aside, not able to raise his sword far enough but able to block an incoming hit with his arm so Emma wouldn't take it. He hissed in pain and growled, ramming his sword through the body of the other man. He fell to the ground and it was quiet again.

Bodies around them, blood coloring the grass red and only Killian's heavy panting disturbing the silence. The birds had stopped singing and the horses were nervous but still there. Had he killed them all? He didn't even count, didn't pay attention to faces or clothing. It seemed safe. They needed to go, send some guards and talk to Victor about why some simple bandits could have broken through, even if the help of the Dark One, it shouldn't be so easy. Normally there were guards in the woods on patrol to keep it safe but this right here was not safe.

He looked around once more before he let his sword fall down and turned to Emma, placing his hands on her shoulders and looked up and down her body, ignoring the pain of his arm and the blood dripping down on the ground, he needed to know she was safe first, not injured, she couldn't be in pain.

"Are you okay?" he asked and could hear the fear in his voice, a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. He was afraid to lose her, afraid that she would leave him alone with his darkness again. She just took his face in her hands and wiped away some blood from his face before she nodded and smiled, placing a kiss on his lips.

"I'm okay but we should get you home," she said and smiled, nodding towards his wound at his arm. He chuckled briefly before he pulled back and smirked at her, scratching the back of his neck with one hand.

"Ah, that's just a scr-" He wasn't able to finish his sentence when a pain shot through his body and he looked down to see the tip of an arrow looking out of his chest and he stumbled forward, right into Emma's arms. He gasped and she let out a scream, both tumbling to the ground because she wasn't able to hold his full weight. She could see the arrow piercing his back and coming out of his chest and sudden fear enveloped her, her whole body shaking as she held him in her arms, not really knowing what to do.

"Killian! For gods sake, Killian, say something!" she yelled at him, tears blurring her eyes as she shook his shoulders and he could hear her but wasn't able to reply. The pain was shooting through his body and he could feel her trembling under him, could hear the fear in her voice but he just gasped, trying to catch a breath but he wasn't able to breathe.

The last thing he saw were the tears running over her cheeks before he closed his eyes.

The last thing he felt was one of her tears falling on his face before everything stopped.


	18. Chapter 18

_Killian opened the door of his brothers room quietly, sneaking into his room and crawling into bed with him. He watched his brother sleeping for a moment before he poked his cheek with his finger a few times._

_"Wake up," he whispered, but Liam just groaned and turned around, pulling the blanket up some more. Killian huffed angrily and climbed on top of his brother, straddling him before he started to jump up and down._

_"Wake up!" he said louder now, and Liam turned on his back, opening one eye to look at his little brother, glaring up at him._

_"It's the middle of the night, Killian. What do you want?" The voice of his brother was rough and thick from sleep, and the younger one could see that his brother just wanted to sleep in peace, but he couldn't care less right now. He dropped forward a little and leaned against his brother, snuggling against him, and after a few moments, Liam raised his arms and pulled him into an embrace._

_"I wanna play," Killian said and yawned a little, suddenly way too tired to keep jumping and bugging. Liam just laughed and ruffled the hair of the young boy._

_"How about I let you sleep here?" Liam asked softly and smiled at his brother who raised his head a little and nodded a few times before he slid down next to him, moving under the blankets with a soft sigh and a smile on his face._

_The brothers stayed like that for a little while before Killian tugged on Liam's shirt. The older one rolled around so he could face his little brother, raising an eyebrow at him._

_"Liam? Why doesn't Papa love me?" he asked quietly, almost afraid someone could hear them. The question took Liam slightly off guard, and for a moment, he didn't know what to answer before he pulled Killian close and hugged him._

_"I'm sure Papa loves you as much as he loves me and Mama." Killian just pulled back and shook his head a few times, a sad look on his face._

_"He never spends time with me," he said, and it sounded more like a broken sob than anything else. Liam sighed. He had noticed it, too but didn't have a real answer for it, probably just a preference of his father that he should do more with the heir of the throne than his second son, but he couldn't tell his brother that._

_Liam shot him an encouraging smile. "Papa never spent much time with me when I was younger. I guess he just needs an older boy he can train in sword fighting or with the crossbow. The older you get, the better it will be, I promise." It was a lie, but he didn't want his brother to be sad._

_"Sleep now," he added and pulled the blanket up a little further._

* * *

"Please, I need to see him!" Emma begged the guards who were standing in front of the healer's room where Killian was, but they just blocked the door with their halberds and shook their heads.

"No one goes in or out. Orders from the king." The words were almost cutting through the air and she hated it, hated the king, hated that she couldn't be with him! She needed to know how he was doing, if he was even alive, but she could do nothing.

"But-" she started, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. When she turned her head, she saw Ruby who just shook her head slightly. Now her best friend was against her? Oh, this just got better. Emma huffed angrily and tried to wiggle out of Ruby's grip.

"But I have to see him! It's my fault he's wounded. I need to know if he's okay!" she literally yelled through the hall, but Ruby just sighed, and for a moment, Emma was a little shocked by herself. She never reacted like this, but now when she was so close to loosing him, she was more worried than ever.

"He will be okay, but they won't let you in." Emma gritted her teeth and shot one more glare at the guards before she stomped away, followed by Ruby. She just couldn't believe that he was hit by an arrow because of her. If Ruby and Victor hadn't found them briefly after the arrow had gone right through his chest, that bandit leader might have gotten her too and dragged her away to the Dark One, and she didn't even want to think about why he wanted her so badly.

She didn't do anything, but since she had arrived, hell had broken loose with the return of the wizard and with everything else. Without realizing it, she walked down to the garden, ignoring Ruby's voice behind her. She didn't want to talk, she just wanted to see him — check if he was okay. When they had arrived here with his almost dead body, he was barely breathing, and when the King had seen him, he had sent his son to the healers, and since then the door was locked.

One thing that scared her was the fact that he didn't go when he had the chance to. He could have left her, but he didn't. He had protected her with his life, had fought for her, but in the end, he hadn't been careful enough. Gods, she was so stupid. It was all her fault. He cared for her, and she had never really accepted it and now, now she was losing him without telling him how much he actually meant to her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Ruby sat down next to her without a word and pulled her into an embrace. Only then a quiet sob fell from Emma's lips before tears followed. Her best friend pulled her a little closer.

"I can't lose him," she sobbed out, ignoring the fact that some guards could probably see them. Right now everything was so unimportant to her except him. He needed to survive. He needed to be okay. She needed to tell him how much he meant to her. That she loved him.

The imaged of the arrow coming through his chest flashed in front of her inner eye. She had no idea if it had hit his lungs or his heart or something other important organ, but he looked so pale when they arrived at the castle. For the first time in her life, she was so afraid of losing someone that she scared herself. She didn't know where this feeling suddenly came from. A few days ago she had believed she just liked him, no more no less but now? Now, it felt like her world would crash if he didn't make it.

"I know, Emma. I know." Her friend stroked her back slightly, but it didn't feel calming, it just made her miss him more. His strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her close, his fingers sliding over her bare skin. Another sob escaped her. She couldn't lose him. No matter what he did in the past, no matter how many masks he had, she had fallen for him, and now when she was so close to losing him, she just knew.

* * *

_Killian was watching his brother — how he was trained with the sword by the King personally. They were in the throne room and were fighting in the middle of it while the younger boy sat on a chair in a corner, his legs under him, sitting there indian style while he watched how steel met steel, and he wanted to do the same so badly._

_He pouted slightly when he heard both men laughing when they took a brief break before someone opened the door and came inside quietly, ruffling Killian's hair a moment later. He turned his head and started to smile widely when he saw that his mother had come inside._

_She hunkered down next to him to be on the same level and smiled at him while he threw his tiny arms around her and hugged her. "I want to do the same, Mama!" he said when he pulled away and pointed to the fighting men who already started to use the swords again. The break had been over quite quickly, and none of them paid attention to the little boy._

_A small smile settled on the lips of his brother when she got up and lifted him in her arms, placing him down on her lap while hugging him from behind. "Soon, Killian. You need to get older first." He groaned loudly and pouted again. He wanted to use a sword, too! Or a bow or crossbow or something similar. He wanted to be a knight or a hero, having his own adventures._

_"Mama?" he said quietly and turned his head slightly so he could look at her while she tilted her head and smiled down at him. "Why is Papa never playing with me?" The smile of his mother faded for a quick moment before she leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead, running her hand through his hair._

_"He is a very busy man, Killian. As a king, he has many responsibilities, and he has to care for his people. He's spending more time with Liam because he will be king one day." Killian looked at her for a moment before he turned his head back forward to look at the rest of his family members. The boyish smile came back on his lips._

_"Does that mean I don't have to stay at the castle? Can I go out and have adventures?" He turned in her lap and looked at her with his big blue eyes, filled with hope. "Can I become a pirate?!" he added in a cheerful voice and hopped on her lap a little but stopped as soon as he saw the confusion on his mother's face._

_"Why would you want to be a pirate, Killian?" she asked him and pushed a strand of hair out of his face. He actually didn't have a good reason. He often heard how pirates were supposed to be evil, but he never met one, and for a kid like him, being free and sailing the world, doing what you wanted to do, sounded just amazing._

_"They're free to do what they want! And they can use a sword all the time!" He threw his hands up in excitement but just got a low chuckle from his mother before she ruffled his hair again. Did she not take him seriously? Mean. He knew he was probably trapped here for a lifetime, but he could at least dream._

* * *

Two days passed by without anyone telling her anything. She didn't know how he was doing or if he was alive. Sometimes she had waited outside of the room where he was for hours, but the only people who came and went were some kitchen boys who were bringing the healers things they needed, but she didn't know if it was for Killian or not. He was not the only sick man inside there. Some wounded guards after a fight had arrived a few hours after him two days ago.

In the end, she had locked herself in their room without talking to anyone, not Tink, not Ruby, not Victor, no one. She only let the servants in who brought her food while she was cursing the King for not letting anyone in or out of the healer's room. It was really not too much to tell her if he was alive or not for gods sake!

In the two nights she had spent without him, she had realized how much she actually missed him. His touch, the calm breathing behind her when he was spooning her, his strong hand pulled around her, holding her close, his chest hair tickling her back, his nose nuzzling against her neck in the morning hours before he whispered a good morning into her ear. Now, the nights were cold and lonely, and she didn't even know when she had gotten that used to him. It somehow happened and now she missed it. Missed him.

Instead of wearing a dress, she wore a shirt of his with the hope that she would feel closer to him. His smell was all around her now, telling her he was here even when he wasn't, and she got the urge to cry again like she had done so many times in the last 48 hours. It was driving her insane that she couldn't do anything until someone knocked at the door, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Emma, let me in! It's important!" Ruby's voice came from outside the door, and normally she wouldn't have opened if she wouldn't have heard that little thing in her best friend's voice that told her that it was really important. She sighed and walked up to the door before she opened it to look into the eyes of her friend.

"Get dressed and hurry. Victor and Sam can let you in for a couple of minutes, but we have to hurry!" Emma couldn't quite believe what she heard but didn't bother to ask any questions before she pulled some pants on, not caring if she was still wearing his shirt before she pushed past Ruby and walked with fast steps toward the healer's room.

It was quite late already, so no one was in the halls while they made their way to the door that was literally impassable since two days. When she saw the two men, she could see how they looked around already, checking if anyone was coming before they opened the door. She shot both a smile and got a nod back while they tried to keep quiet before she sneaked inside. Both men could lose their heads, and she was grateful that they did this for her anyway.

For a moment, she simply looked around until she found a separate area. He had to be there. She walked past a coughing, but sleeping, wounded guard and swallowed when she saw how horrible he looked but couldn't really care about the fate of that man. She went past the barriers that blocked the view of the separate area and suddenly stopped. He was there.

Her heart was pumping loudly in her chest when she took a few steps closer, her expression changing, showing her worry when she could get a clear look at him. He was pale, almost white as snow. His lips were blue, and it looked like he could be cold, but when her hand touched his, he was literally burning but alive. He was alive.

She let out a sigh of relief and sank down on a chair that was next to his bed, holding his hand while a tear rolled down her cheek. He was alive. Thank god, he was alive. She was about to break down from that simple thought because the fear in the last two days had been horrible, the things she made up in her head about how he was dying, screaming in pain, the nightmares that came back every night and no. Just no.

Emma shook her head slightly and tried to get the thoughts out of her head, taking his hand in both of hers, shifting a little closer to his bed while she looked at him. She knew she didn't have much time, but she suddenly didn't know what to do anymore. He was here, he was alive, but she had questions he couldn't answer. Would he be okay? Was he going better? Was he getting worse? She would need to ask a healer, but they wouldn't give her an answer, would just kick her out.

"Don't leave me," she whispered and swallowed hard, another tear rolling down her cheek. "Please, Killian. Don't leave me." Her voice was broken and only a sob, but he was the only one who would be able to hear her whispers, but his eyes were closed, and she didn't know if he was sleeping or close to dying. She knew nothing, and she hated it. "I miss you."

A loud knock at the door pulled her out of her thoughts, and she literally jumped up, letting go of his hand. But before she could move to hide or get out, she met the pair of eyes from a young woman. She had seen her around a few times but never actually talked to her, deducing that she was a nurse according to the uniform she was wearing.

"You shouldn't be in here," the girl said calmly and Emma nodded, chewing on her bottom lip before she looked back at Killian one more time.

"I'm sorry, I-" Emma started, trying to explain herself, afraid that this girl that was barely older than she was would tell the healers or some guards or even the King that she had been in here, even though it was forbidden.

But the look on the girl's face stopped her. She saw understanding in the eyes of the other and watched her coming closer, looking down at the wounded prince and how he looked almost peaceful. Emma turned around and followed her look, her heart still beating fast in her chest.

"I know how it feels like not to know what's going on." The brown haired girl spoke quietly and looked to Emma, the eyes of the girl telling a story she might never hear.

"If you can tell me anything…" Emma started but stopped when her voice was about to break again, fisting one hand in the white shirt she was wearing — his shirt — while her other hand moved to his, sliding her fingers gently over his skin.

"I'm just a simple nurse. I can't tell for sure what's going on, but the arrow went right through his chest. It's a wonder it didn't kill him, but the poison might. He might never wake up."

Suddenly, it was silent in the room. Poison. He was poisoned, that's why he looked like that. Her fingers gripped his hand and squeezed slightly while she closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears inside, trying to look strong even if she was breaking inside.

"A healer will be here soon to check on him. You should go now," the nurse said, and Emma opened her eyes, blinking away the tears that had gathered and nodded.

"Thank you," she said and tried to smile before she let go of Killian's hand and walked back outside where Ruby was waiting.

* * *

_"Come on, Killian. Dinner should be ready!"_

_The Prince grabbed his little brother and threw him over his shoulder while Killian just laughed loudly. They had been swimming in the water for quite some time while their parents were in the vacation home._

_After they walked a little, Killian slapped his brother on the back a few times. "Let's do a race!" Liam stopped and tilted his head slightly before he put his little brother down on the ground, ruffling the dark hair a little._

_"You're gonna lose!" the little boy said and grinned wide at his brother, sticking his tongue out. Liam just nodded and both got into the position. They would need to run up the hill and through a little bit of forest._

_"Go!" Killian yelled and started to run, taking his brother off guard so that he needed a few moments before he started running. (Or maybe he just wanted to give his little brother a chance). The younger prince was up the hill faster and out of Liam's view for a few seconds, but when the older one got to the top of the hill, he saw his brother standing at the end of the forest._

_"Mama?" he whispered, barely loud enough for Liam to hear before Killian started running again. Only then Liam saw what was going on. The house was on fire._

_"Killian, wait!" he yelled after his brother and started running, faster this time so he could catch the little boy and took him into his arms, trying to hold him even though Killian tried to wiggle out of his grip while he was cursing angrily._

_"But she's inside!" he yelled and hit his brother hard, but he just turned the boy in his arms so he couldn't see the fire. It only took a few seconds until he heard quiet sobs from his brother, and he buried his face in his chest._

_"Boys?" The deep voice came from the side, and both children turned their heads, seeing the king coming to them, covered in dirt and with glazed eyes._

_"Father!" Liam breathed, relieved, and let go of Killian to hug his father while Killian just looked at the house, the fire burning in his eyes, and for a moment he could swear that he could hear a scream, the scream of his mother burning alive inside._

_"Is mother…" the older one asked, but he didn't even need an answer, the look on the adult was enough. He turned around to look at his little brother who fell on his knees, falling forward and started to punch the ground while the tears were falling from his face._

* * *

Emma walked up and down in front of the big door that lead to the throne room. She needed to talk to the King, but she couldn't find any words for it. How could she explain to that man how much she needed to see Killian? That it might help him?

After she took another deep breath, she opened the heavy doors and saw the King sitting on his throne, a cup in his hand, staring up at the ceiling and only looking in her direction when she cleared her throat and took a few steps forward so that she was standing in front of the little podium.

"Ah, Princess Emma. Isn't it a wonderful day!" His voice was rough, and he sounded slightly drunk. She wondered what was inside of that cup. It was only early afternoon, and it would not be a good thing for a king to drink around that time of the day.

She made a curtsey and bit her bottom lip when his words ran through her mind again. His son was dying, and he didn't even seem to care about it. Killian was fighting for his life, and the King was drinking. She even doubted that he had visited him once.

"I have a request, Your Majesty." She chewed on her bottom lip when he took a sip from his cup, gesturing with his hand around in the air, telling her to go on.

"I want to see the Prince. As his future wife, I can't accept that I have no right to see how he is doing," she said and was about to add something, but then she saw how the face of the King became harder and his eyes darker, literally glaring at her now. It was a look that sent a shiver down her spine, and she swallowed hard, tensing up a little, but she kept her chin high, looking him directly in his eyes.

"I thought it would be in your interest if he died. People told me you have problems with him, and if he dies, you could go home."

Emma couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. He didn't even seem to care! He was probably right, she would be able to go home, the marriage wouldn't be a thing anymore, she would be free to go back to her family and go on with her life as before. But she didn't want to. She couldn't just leave him behind.

Her mind has changed. She wanted to marry Killian, wanted to live with him, helping him with whatever issues he had. Just being with him would make her happy, and her heart told her that her presence would help him to wake up, to make him better, to heal his wounds — the one on his body and the one in his mind. She knew he was as damaged as she was.

"Perhaps I've had a change of heart…Please. I care for him, and I need to see him." Her voice was way weaker now than before, but it didn't seem to bother the King who still looked at her with a glare. For a moment, she looked down to the ground before she raised her eyes again, seeing how he took another sip of his drink.

"Fine. I'll talk to the healers and let you know when you can see him."

Her face lit up with a happy smile and a nod. She made another curtsey and whispered a "Thank you" loud enough for the King to hear for sure before she turned around on her heels and left the room and the cold atmosphere in the throne room.

Only a few hours later, a knock on the door made her get up from the bed where she had been reading a book, one of his favourites. A story about a young woman and a farm boy who fell in love. When she was a young girl she sought comfort in such stories and now, she did the same.

When she opened the door, she met the eyes of Victor who was grinning at her like an idiot. She raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what he wanted to tell her with this grin.

"You can see him tomorrow and since then every day for a couple of minutes. That's all we could do," he told her with a smile, and only a second later she was hugging him, pressing against the heavy and cold armor he was wearing but couldn't care less. His arms wrapped around her, and she let out a happy sigh.

* * *

_Killian was out at the sea his mother liked to take him to, the waterfall and the birds the only noises around him while he looked down in the blue water in front of him. His mother had always said it was a magical place and that he would be fine as long as he was close to the sea._

_Bullshit._

_He wasn't fine, not even here, even if it was one of the places where he felt close to her. She'd been gone for over three months now, and it still hurt like it was yesterday. The fire was still burning in his eyes, the images didn't fade away, and he had nightmares every night covered in sweat. Deep circles under his eyes were the sign of his insomnia, and it didn't stop, no matter what he was doing._

_Killian threw a stone into the water. He wanted to go out on the ocean, sailing the realm. He just wanted to go far away from everything. No matter where he went or what he did, he was reminded about his dead mother. People looked at him with this look he hated, like they felt bad for him._

_He pulled his knees up to his chest and dropped his head on them, starting to sob quietly. He missed her. He wanted her back. It should have been him, not her. She had been a good person, too good, and now she was dead, gone, would never come back, and he just couldn't handle it._

_"Killian?" A voice appeared behind him but he didn't bother to turn around, could hear that it was his brother who was here to look for him. Liam was the only one who tried to calm him, to sooth his pain, but he never had luck with it._

_"I miss her," he just sobbed out and raised his head a little, wiping the tears away with the sleeve of his shirt while he saw Liam's worried look. He got a nod as an answer and a sad smile._

_"I miss her, too. But remember what she always told you?" his brother asked, and Killian frowned slightly, tilting his head before he shook it. He didn't know what Liam meant until he placed his hand on his chest, right over the place where the heart was. Killian's face lit up, and the confusion faded._

_"She told me she will always be in my heart," he choked out, and Liam nodded, his smile growing a little wider. But even if she had told him that all the time, right now he couldn't believe it, she was gone, left him alone with everything._

_"She's watching over us, brother. She always will."_

* * *

Six days had passed by since the incident, since three she was allowed to visit him for a couple of minutes every day. In her mind, her presence was helping him as much as his presence helped her. She didn't miss him that much anymore, could at least be close to him but still. His rough voice was missing, his stupid grin on his face or just his simple, genuine smile. It was missing, and she needed it back even if it sounded so selfish.

The healers didn't know what kind of poison it was, maybe a creation of the Dark One, maybe the bandits just got lucky, no one knew. They also don't know how to cure it, so she had to pray that he was fighting against it on his own.

She had sat down on the chair next to his bed again in the late night hours, holding his hand like she always did. He was still burning, his body was full of sweat while his chest was covered in a bandage, the spot over his chest colored in blood. The healers had told her that the wound was closing really, really slowly, so he kept bleeding and all they could do was put pressure on it and wait.

Emma was holding his hand and mostly just sat there, watching him in silence, but today, she didn't feel like keeping quiet. No one else was here while she was normally surrounded by other sick people or healers but not today. It was way too late but she had needed to see him once more before bed. The big, empty bed where she felt lonely and cold when he wasn't with her.

She let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes, holding his hand up with both of her hands, pressing a gentle kiss on the skin that was so much colder now than a few days ago. He was doing better, at least a little.

"Oh, Killian," she sighed and looked into his pale face, not quite sure where to start or to end, what to tell him or what not. She knew he couldn't hear her anyway so it actually didn't matter. "This is so stupid. I…I don't even know what I'm doing." She knew she didn't have much time with him before someone would come check and kick her out again.

"Is it stupid to think that my voice might help you? My presence? Probably, I guess." She let out a humorless laugh and played with his hand in hers, imagining how he would tell her how stupid she was for thinking it could help. They weren't in some kind of book, living their fairytale.

"You know, I've not always been a princess…" she started and swallowed for a moment, looking around a little to make sure that no one else was here while she let him know one of her secrets that barely anyone knew.

"I grew up as an orphan without knowing who I really am, far away from the castle. Got separated from my real parents after the fire that had broken out and destroyed the castle. I had quite a miserable life as a kid." She wondered if the people of his kingdom, that was so far away from her own, knew the story about the lost princess that had returned after many years.

"But they found me. Brought me home. Made me the woman I am today. That's why it had hurt me to hear you saying that they might have another child. I'm just afraid they want to replace me with that child after they couldn't see me growing up." She swallowed down the sob that was rising in her throat when pictures of her past flashed in front of her inner eye, memories coming up while she told him her story. He wasn't even able to hear her, to understand her, and he would probably never know this side of her.

"I blamed them my whole childhood, thinking that they had abandoned me. I can't do this again…" Her voice became more quiet, and she squeezed his hand a little, smiling sadly at him but with hope in her eyes.

"Please, don't abandon me. I can't lose you."

* * *

_He was running through the woods, his chest bleeding while he pressed his hand against it, running away from something he didn't know. Why was he running? Where was he? What was going on? He could barely breathe, and he felt like he was on fire, didn't know where to go or where he came from._

_Suddenly, he stopped running. The sky above his head turned red while the forest became darker and darker. His stomach twisted, and he felt sick before he pressed his eyes together. Nightmare. This was a nightmare. Was he dreaming? Was he awake? He had to be dreaming. This wasn't real, no memories, not like the other dreams he had since a few nights. He just never woke up. He was trapped and helpless._

_A scream escaped him, and when he opened his eyes he found himself in the garden of the castle. He lifted his hand to look down at the blood covering it before he pressed it back on his chest, right over the void where his heart was supposed to be. No beat. Nothing._

_He narrowed his eyes when he saw someone moving and turned his head only to meet the familiar face he'd been missing for so long._

_"Mama?" he whispered in disbelief. He felt like a little boy again when she ruffled his head, running her hand through his hair. A dream. He was dreaming, but he couldn't wake up no matter how hard he tried. The pain was real. It was the only thing that was real, and it was ripping him apart._

_"My boy." The voice of his mother was so soft and worried when she pulled him into an embrace, and he needed a moment to return it. The pain stopped while he hugged her tight._

_"My beautiful boy," she whispered when she pulled away, her hands on his shoulders to look at him. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes for a moment, blinking away the tears. Even if it was a dream, it felt so real, more real than anything, as real as the pain that slowly came back._

_He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to answer, knowing as soon as he would wake up that it would be gone, that she would be gone again. Normally, he never dreamed of her that way, mostly he had nightmares about old memories like the other times before but this time? It was different._

_"I missed you," he said and pulled her back, almost thinking it was real the way she smelled like flowers, the way her arms were around him, but he wasn't her little boy anymore. He had grown up faster than he ever wanted._

_"We don't have much time, Killian." Her voice sounded serious, and he pulled away, let go of her only to be met with a pain in his chest again, getting the urge to pull her back close to him so that she could protect him from the pain like she always had when he was younger. He missed her so much._

_"You can't stay here, it's too soon for you. The longer you stay, the dangerous it gets. You have to wake up." Why? Why did he have to wake up? He wanted to stay here, with her. He didn't want to go back. He needed her. He was just a boy that wanted his mother back._

_"Please, don't send me away! I want to stay with you." He was almost pleading with her, but she just ruffled his hair again, actually had to raise her arm to do it because he was bigger than her. The look in her eyes was tired but still so familiar that it hurt. His mother just shook her head._

_"I will always be with you, Killian. Always watch over you, and you know that." He bit his bottom lip when tears gathered in his eyes, feeling like that lost boy that had just lost his mother all those years ago, sitting at the sea, hoping that she would return but knowing she would never pull him into a hug again or ruffle his hair._

_"But she needs you." He frowned at her words, not quite sure who she meant. Who would need him? The King certainly not. His brother was dead. For a moment, he raised his head more and looked around. Maybe Liam was here, too? Hope was rising in him to see his brother again, at least one more time, but his mother stopped him._

_"Emma."_

_Emma. His Emma. The princess he was supposed to marry. The girl he had fallen in love with. How could he forget about her? A small smile settled on his lips at the thought of her, and then he looked back to his mother. She was really watching over him, but that meant she had also seen all the things he had done, the bad things, and he felt guilty again._

_"You need to wake up for her, it's important." He saw how tears started to run down the face of his mother, and a single one dropped down his face, too. He had always hated to see his mother crying, and now it was even more painful because he knew it was the last time he would see her. He just knew._

_"But why?" he choked out, not able to keep his voice together, but it was okay. It was his mother, and he could just be the little boy he used to be before he lost her, and before his life had started to take a turn he never wanted it to take._

_"One day, you will understand. Everything will make sense. Trust me." She gave him a sad smile and pulled him into a hug, the pain fading again, and he pulled her even tighter while more and more tears were falling down, and he let himself feel again for the first time, letting the feeling rush through his body — the hate, the angst, the pain, the fear, but most importantly, the love he had for his mother._

_"I will avenge you, I promise." He swallowed hard when his mother's hand went to the back of his head, and she cradled him like she had done so many times when he was still a boy._

_"I know." She pulled away, and the world around them started to fade a little. The colors were fading, and the green garden that was full of flowers started to become grey._

_"Mama." The simple word was falling from his lips when the greyness came closer, followed by the darkness that was surrounding them. His mother took his face in her hands and stroked his cheek with her thumb, wiping away the tears, seeing just a little lost boy._

_"I love you. Please, wake up."_

* * *

"I love you. Please, wake up."

Emma's face was pressed against his chest, careful not to hurt him while she whispered the words, crying in the silent of the night, begging him to wake up because she needed him.

Only when the body under her started to move did she raise her head, looking right into his bright blue eyes that were filled with tears, one of them escaping the corner of his eye.

"Emma?"


	19. Chapter 19

Emma's whole face lit up into a bright smile when she heard him saying her name, and she threw her arms around him reflexively until he coughed and hissed in pain. She immediately pulled back with a blush on her cheeks and sat straight on the chair.

"Sorry," she said and tugged on one of her hair strands, smiling like a little kid. "I'm so glad you're awake! I was so worried." She couldn't stop herself when she reached forward for his hand, playing with his fingers a little while he just smiled back at her.

For a second, she wondered if he had heard her confession, the three magical words that had slipped from her lips, but if he had, he didn't seem like he wanted to say anything about it. Instead of talking, he tried to sit up, but she stood up and put one hand on his shoulder and pushed him slightly back, shaking her head.

"You shouldn't move until someone checks on you. You were out for a few days with poison, and for a while they thought you wouldn't make it and-"

He stopped her by gripping her wrist and pulling her toward him, his soft lips finally back on hers. She pressed the palm of her hand that had been on his shoulder on the bed to hold herself up, having no desire to crash against him while he was still wounded. Her other hand was still holding his, squeezing it for a moment before they both pulled apart panting.

"What was that?" she asked and felt the heat on her face, but when she tried to pull back he held her wrist close to him, not wanting to let her go.

"I'm just happy to see you." He bit his bottom lip, and a huge smile was on his face. It made her happy to see him like this. He was somehow different in a way she couldn't explain. She sat down at the edge of the bed so she could look at him, and he finally let go of her wrist.

The princess lifted her hand and brushed a sweaty strand of hair out of his face with a gentle touch, and he hummed slightly.

"I missed you." Her voice wasn't more than a soft whisper, and he nodded as an answer. She knew she should tell someone to come by, to check on him, but she wanted to have a moment with him alone, to live the bliss in her bones because he had finally woken up again.

"How are you? What happened after I…passed out?" Emma looked down at his wound for a moment and bit her bottom lip, tears filling her eyes just thinking about how he had almost died back then. She had almost lost him.

She tried to blink the tears away before she lifted her gaze to look at him. "I'm fine. Ruby and Victor found us. He killed the last bandit, and they brought us back as fast as they could. First, your father ordered that no one was allowed to see you. I snuck in because I had to, and I talked to that girl that told me you were poisoned and…I'm just glad you're awake."

Then he just started laughing, loud and full of joy before he shook his head with a grin on his face. "You snuck in?" He was obviously quite amused with that fact, and she blushed again, nodding slightly. She wasn't quite sure why he was so amused by this, but it was good to see him like this. Laughing, grinning, awake, and alive. After the troubles and fears of the last days, it was just good to be there with him.

Suddenly, the door that led to the healers room opened and an older man came in. Emma had seen him a few times during visiting Killian. She wasn't sure what his name was, but he was the most friendly healer they had here, and she was glad that he was taking care of the Prince.

"He's awake," she told the man with a smile on her face that only grew bigger when the face of the man changed into a really surprised look. He came closer, and Emma got up from the bed, letting go of Killian's hand with a sad smile but with a nod. She would love to stay here, but she knew that they had to check how he was doing, if he was okay.

"Wait in our room," Killian told her before two nurses came in, and Emma bit her bottom lip when she wasn't really able to see him anymore, people blocking her view. She didn't know if he would already come back tonight, if they would let him. It was already quite late, but she would wait, at least until she fell asleep.

* * *

She had fallen asleep faster than she had planned to and also slept longer than she should have. After she had woken up, she had tried to get to Killian but the guards wouldn't let her in again, and Victor told her that Killian would probably be able to go back to their room during the evening when the healers were done with him.

Knowing that arguing wouldn't help, she had accepted it, had spent some time in the garden reading a book from Killian's room before she went to get some food. A quick chat with Ruby and Tink cheered her up even more before she vanished to her room. She wanted to be there when he got back.

When she was in their room again, she walked to the open window and looked out with a smile. He was okay. He was alive. He hadn't left her like everyone else. It brought a smile up to her lips, but the more she thought about it, the more she wondered. How had he survived? The arrow had went right through his heart, then the poison and everything. She had held him in her arms when his breathing went flat. She would have to ask him, and he hopefully wouldn't hide it from her. Maybe he didn't even know himself.

The door jumped open and Killian came in groaning loudly while glaring at a woman behind him. "No, Ella, I'm fine. I will be fine, can you just go now?" Emma turned around to look at him, how he scolded the nurse who was bugging him. He was tense and annoyed, but she couldn't keep a chuckle inside.

That drew the attention of the two people toward her, and the nurse just sighed and nodded before she left and Killian walked inside with a soft smile on his lips, relaxing as soon as his eyes wandered over her body. He had a white cotton shirt on, but the wide neck revealed the bandage under it.

"What did she want?" Emma asked and pushed herself away from the window, walking over to him before she stopped right in front of him, smiling slightly.

He just groaned as an answer and shook his head. "She wanted to play nanny. Completely useless." Another shake of his head before he let out a heavy sigh, sinking down on the chair next to the table. Emma pulled the other chair closer to sit in front of him.

"So, how are you feeling?" She tilted her head slightly, wanting to know how he was doing, but he just huffed, rolling his eyes.

"I'm fine. Really. I could go back out there and hunt down the Dark One for- Ouch!"

She had poked him right in the chest with an unimpressed expression on her face, right where his wound was. Not hard enough to harm him but enough to show him that he was not fine and that he should think about what he was saying.

"Ugh, alright, maybe I'm not completely fine, but give it a few days, and I will be."

Emma laughed softly and smiled in victory before she bit her bottom lip, not sure if she should ask what was on her mind. How he had survived. How he could be that fine after he was out for a week. After he was shot and poisoned, after he was bleeding for quite a while.

"Killian?" she started shyly, not quite sure if she could find the right words for it.

"Hm?" He tilted his head slightly, like a dog who was waiting and who didn't really understand.

"Do you know how…you know. How you survived? The arrow went right through your chest, right through your heart, then the poison that should have destroyed your system and…I just want to understand."

She saw how his eyes widened for a moment before he looked away, freezing slightly in his movement. He chewed on his bottom lip and she leaned a little to the side, hoping that she would be able to see his face. Something was definitely going on.

_(He couldn't tell her. He would put her in danger, get her killed. He couldn't risk it.)_

"I don't know." He stood up and shrugged slightly, walking over to the window to close it. She sighed, knowing that he just wanted to shove the topic off, pushing her away like he always had when she asked questions he didn't like.

"Please?" Her voice was low and only a whisper, a silent plea.

_(The void in his heart throbbed. It hurt him to see her like this. He shouldn't lie to her. He shouldn't but yet he did.)_

"There is nothing to tell. Just be happy I survived, that's all that matters." He spoke harshly, his words cutting like a blade through the air, and she frowned, wanting to take a step closer to him but stopped in her tracks when something dark pooled in his eyes — not lust this time, something else.

"Of course, I'm happy you did but…there is no chance that a normal person could have survived this…" She swallowed hard, not even thinking about him having no heart. She was way too focused on the change of atmosphere in the room, the change of attitude, the change of his eyes which became more dangerous.

_(Darkness was rising up to protect him, protect her from the truth, to protect his dirty little secrets. He wanted to tell her, wanted to let her know why he was like this, but instead the anger came up, the reflex of pushing people away who got too close. "I'm sorry mother.")_

"Do you always have to ask so many questions?" he growled at her and gritted his teeth, his jaw set hard while he clenched his hand into a fist. Back then she would have been afraid of him, would have taken a step back from the fear he might hurt her, but now she wasn't afraid of him. He wouldn't hurt her, and she just knew it somehow. He was just putting on a mask to protect himself. She had done the same many years ago.

"Killian, please. I like you, I care about you, of course I ask questions. I just want an honest answer." She was literally begging him to talk to her, but he just huffed and took a step closer, literally towering over her now, and Emma shivered at the look in his eyes, so hurt and lost at the same time.

_(He was a fool, just a lost fool who didn't know how to react to this kind of situation. Truth, lie, black, white, wrong, right, good, evil, love, hate, letting in, letting go. Such a coward.)_

He walked past her toward the door, ready to leave, and her heart literally hurt from seeing him like this. She didn't know what was wrong with him, why his attitude had changed so fast, but it felt like he didn't want it to. The gentle and loving man was gone, replaced by this figure of sadness and anger.

"Just leave me alone." And here he was, pushing her away like a dog you didn't want anymore. She closed her eyes for a moment, the feeling and memories of being abandoned rising up in her, but she took a deep breath, shaking her head before she made two quick steps forward, wrapping her arm around him to press her body against him from behind, her head on his shoulder, pulling him into a strong embrace.

"Please, don't shut me out, Killian."

There was a long silence while his hand was still on the door handle, her face pressed against his rough cotton shirt, her hand around his body, not letting him go, holding him back in the best way. She felt how he relaxed under her, the tension in his muscles fading the longer she held him, and he let go of the handle, sighing heavily.

_(The darkness faded more and more, escaping the light she brought into his life, and he couldn't be more grateful. She didn't give up on him, and he knew it. He loved it, loved her, so much.)_

"I'm sorry." His voice sounded broken and sad, apologetic, but she just smiled against the fabric. It was okay. Completely okay.

She let go of him, and he turned around, smiling slightly at her before she moved on her toes and placed a quick kiss on his mouth. "You're not getting rid of me anymore, my prince." She wasn't mad at him. She understood he had walls for some reason she hoped to know one day.

"I would despair if I did," he whispered back against her lips with a grin before he leaned down, pressing a stronger kiss against her lips while his hand wandered over the soft skin of her cheek. His sigh broke the kiss, and he pulled back, running a hand through his hair.

"Give me time, okay? I can explain…everything, but I need time."

A smile lit up her face, and she nodded a few times, grabbing him by the front of his shirt to walk them over to the bed. "That's fine. Take all the time you want. I just want to get to know you. The real Killian."

He laughed softly, and she gripped the end of his shirt, raising it up slightly to pull it over his hand. She figured he would still hurt too much to do it himself. For a moment, her eyes were on his chest, the white fabric of the bandage wrapped around him.

"You will," he replied in a whisper and leaned down again, brushing his nose against her before he kissed her one more time.

* * *

The Prince had woken up before his princess. His body had been so close to hers, his strong arm wrapped around her, and it felt good to be back without nightmares, without memories, without something torturing his soul. But sleeping had been easier than being awake. When he was awake, he had to confront the reality. He sighed and pulled his arm away from her before getting out of bed.

He walked over to the window, opened it carefully, trying not to wake her up. He leaned over the windowsill and sighed, looking over to the sea where the sun was rising slowly. What had his life even become? A few weeks ago, he had been this dark prince who didn't care about anyone or anything and now? Now, he was in love, he had seen his mother in a death dream, and his feelings were coming back, slowly but surely, and they were so confusing. He had spent too many years without.

And her question last night had pushed him over the edge. He didn't mean to get mad at her, to snap at her, it just somehow happened because he was an asshole, because he had no heart, and most of all because he was a coward, not able to tell her the truth. He was telling himself it was to protect her, but he knew that he was just trying to calm his conscience. She deserved the truth.

His eyes wandered over to her, and he smiled when he saw her lying in his bed, peacefully asleep, only her underwear on, and the blanket wrapped around her. Yes, she deserved the truth. Because he loved her, because she loved him. He had heard her confession. Had heard everything she had told him in the background while trapped in this world between life and death. And maybe she would share her story with him one day, too.

But today, it was his move. His time to tell her the truth about everything. His heart, the Dark One, maybe even Milah, he didn't know. Gods, how was he even supposed to start? To find words? He turned his gaze back outside and took a deep breath. He should take the time he had before she woke up to figure it out.

Emma woke while the sun rose low over the ocean, coming up from her nighttime hideout below the horizon. She slowly opened her eyes and yawned, reaching behind her where Killian normally was. He had finally been back, and falling asleep in his arms again was one of the best things she had ever experienced. The sound of him breathing, his warm body pressed against her, his arm wrapped around her, holding her close. She had missed it so much, had missed him, and she was so happy he was better now.

A frown appeared on her forehead when her hand couldn't find him, and she sat up, looking around in the room that was covered in red light caused by the sunrise. She saw him at the window. He was only wearing his leather pants and leaning over the windowsill, looking out of the open window where she knew the sea was. A small smile settled on her lips, and her eyes wandered over his back, the lean muscles she loved, the scars that were covering his back, and she knew there were more of them under the bandage. She still didn't know where they came from, and one day, she would ask him. Maybe. But that day was not today.

After a few moments, she threw the blanket back and got out of the bed, putting her morning gown on before she walked over to him. She knew he could hear her coming, but he didn't move at all. Her fingers wandered over his back, tracing the rough scars on his back up and down when she was next to him, leaning against the windowsill with one side.

He tensed up under her fingertips for a moment but relaxed again quickly. Then she turned around and went into the same pose as him, looking out of the window, watching the sun going up over the sea, coloring the world with something magical.

"I'm sorry." His voice wasn't loud but rough from sleep. She knew what he meant. Last night he had been so different, so dangerous maybe but not to her. She knew it, and she wouldn't give up on him ever.

"It's okay," she said with a soft smile and leaned over, placing a kiss on his cheek, his stubble tickling her slightly so that her smile grew bigger. She had no idea why, but she loved to feel his stubble on her skin, the rough scratch that was never painful but always pleasant.

"No, it's not," he answered with a sigh and pushed himself back from the windowsill. She did the same, looking at him with a frown. There was something in his eyes that wasn't usual. After he had woken up yesterday, she had noticed that he was different, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Killian started to tug on the ends of the bandage that was around his chest and shoulder, but she caught his hand, shaking her head. "It would be bad." He huffed and raised an eyebrow, pushing her hand aside gently until he got rid of all the white fabric that was slightly covered in blood.

She could see where the hole had been where the arrow had hit him, but it looked much better now. For a moment, she got the urge to run her fingers over it to check if he was really okay, but then she swallowed. It really was directly over his heart. She hadn't been mistaken. There was no chance that he could have survived it.

When she lifted her gaze she met his, sea blue eyes staring at her like he wanted to tell her something but couldn't find the words. Suddenly, he took her small hand in his and placed her palm on his chest, right over the hole, right over his heart. The seconds passed by, and she could hear her own heartbeat in her ears, but she couldn't feel his. She pressed her hand more against him, closer to his chest, the warm skin under her palm growing hotter and hotter until her eyes widened.

No heartbeat.

He had no heartbeat.


	20. Chapter 20

Emma literally jerked her hand back in shock, and something in his face broke like she had just crushed all his hopes and dreams, like his whole world shattered. He dropped his head forward and stared at the ground, not saying anything, more looking like a sad boy than the man she knew.

Then her memories came back - the thing with Graham, that the Dark One had taken his heart and crushed it. Fear ran through her bones. Did the wizard have his heart, too? Was he in danger? Was he even himself?

"Are you...you know...controlled?" she asked, and her voice was slightly shaking. It was a dumb question. If he was controlled, he could just pretend that he wasn't. But something inside of her already told her that he was himself even through he was shaking his head, still not looking at her.

She swallowed hard before she started to fully understand. If he had no heart, it was no surprise he had been acting like he had. Being dark and dangerous and mean and just this asshole she hated in the beginning. What she didn't understand was how he had changed and become this broken person in front of her. Maybe he had always been that broken and was just very good at hiding it. That, on the other hand, meant that he trusted her because right now he was vulnerable.

Her eyes became soft, and she smiled before she took his face in her hands and lifted his head so he was looking at her and she could see the fear in his blue eyes, the fear that she would reject him now because of the fact that he had no heart.

"It's okay," she said in a whisper and kissed him for a long moment, feeling how he relaxed more and more. Then he pulled away and looked into her eyes, taking her hands from his face in his, shaking his head.

"It's not. I have no heart." The words came from his trembling lips, and even though she was still shocked and confused, she wouldn't show him now. She had to be here for him, from lost girl to lost boy.

She tightened the grip around his hands and pulled him over to the bed. "Do you want to tell me the story?" It was a shy request. She wasn't sure if he was ready to tell her about the whole thing, but then he nodded and she smiled, taking her morning gown off again and slipping under the blanket. He walked around the bed and moved on it before she threw the blanket over him.

In her mind, this talk would be easier if both of them were comfortable in a warm bed. It was early, probably no one awake, and cold outside, so they had a few more hours until someone would come by and interrupt them.

He leaned with his back against the wooden headboard and looked into his lap for a long moment, apparently thinking about what he wanted to say. Her eyes hung on his chest and the wound for a moment until he lifted his head and looked into her eyes.

"It's a really long story," he said with a slight shrug, but she just chuckled and moved to straddle him, trying to get comfortable on his chest without hurting him.

"We have all time in the world, Killian." She crossed her arms on his chest, careful not to put them over his wound before she put her chin on her arms, looking up at him.

"It started when I was just a boy. I made a huge mistake and a witch cursed me. My heart would keep rotting until it would simply stop and kill me. A different witch took my heart to keep me safe, but it also took all of the positive feelings. All the things I loved meant nothing to me after this. I learned to live with it, my heart safe...somewhere. But the older I got, the darkness in me kept getting worse until I had no control over it anymore. That's until I met you."

He stopped for a moment to look at her face, to look for a reaction, and she chewed on her bottom lip, trying to understand the things he said, and it made sense. Everything made so much more sense now. His behavior toward her, his anger issues, his sudden regret, and his gentle touches from time to time, but it also sounded really weird in her head. Magic was rare in this world. She had never heard of witches in this region and yet, she believed him because there was nothing but honesty in his eyes. She was about to ask him what she had to do with all of it before he started again.

"I don't know why you. A friend of mine had told me a theory that might be possible, but I actually don't know. After you arrived, something started to change slowly. That's why I ran for a few weeks. I didn't want things to change. With all these years I did so many things and now that I feel again, I hate myself for it, and I just didn't want things to change because I knew as soon as I could feel again, I wouldn't be able to handle it. But running like a coward didn't change anything."

He chewed on his bottom lip for a long moment, insecure about how she would react, but instead of saying something, she just lifted her hand and traced the features of his face, his nose, his jaw, his lips, and just smiled at him encouragingly. She had no idea how it was possible that she was the reason for him to change, but she was glad that he was changing because she knew that she was in love with him and fell in love with him more and more every day.

"I realized that you're the light to my darkness. You're chasing the darkness in me away, Emma. You make me a better man and..."

For a second he stopped and took her hand, placing a soft kiss on it before he looked into her eyes, a shy smile on his lips - something she had never seen before.

"And I think I'm falling in love with you."

Emma's face lit up into a huge smile, and she leaned forward to kiss him. Maybe she was foolish for loving a man without a heart, and she didn't understand how he might love her without it, but she didn't care. It was magic and it was beyond everything she ever understood. He wasn't even supposed to be alive, but he was, so why shouldn't he be able to love her in his own ways?

"Can I ask you something?" she said as she leaned back, sitting up in his lap while he propped himself up on his elbows, tilting his head with a puzzled look on his face as he nodded.

"Who was Milah?" The second she asked, she felt him flinch under her, and he looked to the side, chewing on his bottom lip, and she knew it was a bad topic for him, but she needed to know.

"My first love. At least that was what I thought. The Dark One's wife. She ran from him and apparently fell in love with me, but I couldn't love her back for a while, but one day I could. Then he killed her, and I found out that he had enchanted her so I would fall in love with her. It wasn't real. It had never been real, and I was so angry that he had tricked me that I swore revenge." His voice started to shake in anger and sadness and he gritted his teeth, taking a few deep breaths.

She placed her hand over his chest, the place where his heart was supposed to be, and she could feel nothing. It was scaring her in a way, but she wasn't afraid of him. Now she knew that he was just a broken man, a boy that got lost too son, they weren't so different. Both had a past of lost children, and maybe she would tell him one day.

"What does the Dark One want from you?" she asked carefully, not quite sure if it was his fault that the wizard was after him, but he just shrugged when she rolled off him to her side of the bed.

"I really don't know, but I will find out. For some reason he wants you too, and I won't let anything happen to you," he answered and looked toward the ceiling, then toward her when she settled her head on his chest, wrapping an arm around her and yawning. Everything would be okay. One day both of them would be happy, together or not.

He placed a soft kiss on her hair and pulled the blanket up some more before he moved down the bed a little more so he could put his head on a pillow. They would have a while so a small nap couldn't be bad. She would have time to deal with everything later. It was a lot to take in, and for now, she was just tired, not even sure if it was a dream or not.

Briefly, before both drifted off to sleep, she opened her eyes once more and looked up at him. His eyes were closed, but his breathing told her that he was still awake, so she smiled and closed her eyes again, snuggling more into his side.

"And I love you too," she said and drifted off to sleep, knowing that he had heard it.

She couldn't see the smile on his lips when he pulled her a little closer to him, whispering, "I know."

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when someone knocked on her door and Emma just smirked, knowing it was Ruby. Tink was out with Killian, doing some stuff in the town so the princess had some time to talk about everything with her best friend. Well, not everything, she would keep the whole heart thing a secret, but not the fact that he was falling in love with her. Right now she was in absolute bliss that her life had gotten so much better, and she just needed to share.

She had had all day to think about everything he had told her, and she decided to try to accept it. Him not having his heart, his love for her, she would probably need some time, but in the end she wouldn't leave him alone. For some reason, he made her happy and he was good for her in a way she would never understand. Being around him didn't make her uncomfortable anymore. She felt safe when he was there and knowing that someone cared for her was just everything she ever wanted.

Ruby came in with a slightly puzzled look on her face before she sat down on the chair at the other side of the table in the room.

"So, what was so important that you called for me instead of coming over?" The brunette looked at her with narrowed eyes and Emma just grinned, putting her book aside that she had been reading to distract herself from the heartache in her chest now that Killian was gone, even if it was just for a few hours.

"He loves me. Or is falling in love with me. He told me this morning," Emma said and blushed slightly while she was looking at her friend who obviously needed a few seconds to realize the words before she squealed loudly and jumped up from her chair, the wood hitting the stone ground. Ruby came over to her and hugged her tightly before she pulled the chair upward and closer so she was sitting right in front of Emma.

"I'm so happy for you! How did it come? What happened?" Of course her friend wanted to know everything now. It wasn't surprising at all.

"We uhm...talked a little. About his attitude toward me, and then he told me he is falling in love with me, and I told him I love him too." She bit her bottom lip with a shy smile on her lips, not able to hide the blush on her cheeks. Ruby was always so excited about other people being in love or having affairs it wasn't normal anymore. Too bad that Emma's life had never been that interesting,so she had barely anything to share.

"Oh, that's so great!" Ruby clapped her hands, full of joy, before she stopped, looking like she was deep in her thoughts before she narrowed her eyes and leaned slightly forward with a grin that was full of mischief on her lips.

"Did you two. You know." She wiggled with her eyebrows, but Emma just tilted her head to the side and looked confused at her friend who just sighed.

"Did you two sleep together?" the brunette said and lifted an eyebrow, but Emma just shrugged.

"We always sleep to- Oh. Wait. You don't mean it that way." The princess blushed even more now, memories of their previous incidents flashing in her mind but did they count? Probably not.

"Of course I don't mean it that way. So, did you?" Ruby looked so excited and it was almost breaking her heart to tell her friend that they didn't. Yet. It would come, sooner or later, probably in the night after their marriage when everyone was watching. Just the thought of that made her sick.

"No, not yet. He probably wants to wait until the marriage." She knew that it wasn't the full truth. Killian would have taken her a few times if she would have allowed it, but the real thing still scared her in a way. She had heard so many horribles stories during the time she hadn't spent at the castle, the time in her childhood that she just couldn't do it, not yet.

Ruby looked quite disappointed but nodded, not knowing of her friends issue with the actual act. Emma just smiled, just happy about the fact that he loved her and she loved him and it was going to be okay, not like she had expected in the beginning.

Then the door opened and Killian came inside, raising an eyebrow when he saw the two girls sitting at the desk, tilting his head slightly.

"Do I even want to know what you girls are talking about?" he asked and closed the door behind him, looking from Emma to Ruby and back to Emma.

"Girl's stuff. But I will leave you alone and see if Victor has time. I think you need some... _time_ ," Ruby said and wiggled her eyebrows toward Emma who immediately blushed again and buried her face in her hands. The brunette laughed and bowed before Killian before she left.

"What was she talking about?" The prince looked toward her, but she just waved her hand until her eyes fell on a letter in her hand.

"What's that?" she asked with hope in her voice. She was still awaiting the letter from her parents.

"Ah, that one is for you," he answered and grinned before he sat down where Ruby had been and gave her the letter.

Emma's whole face lit up in a smile when she saw the seal of her parents' kingdom,and she literally ripped the paper away to read the letter.

_'Our dearest Emma,_

_We're sorry it took us so long to answer your letter, but we're losing so many people on the front that we needed to concentrate on that. I hope you understand that._

_To answer your question: Yes, we are indeed expecting another child. We're hoping for a little prince, a brother for you. You would be a wonderful big sister._

_We miss you here. It's gone quiet without you, but we hope you're doing well with Prince Killian and that you marry soon so we can unite the kingdoms and end the ogre war for good. We really can't wait to see you again on your marriage day in a wonderful wedding dress._

_With love,_

_your mother and father.'_

The blonde swallowed hard reading these lines. On the one hand, she was happy that her parents were missing her, but on the other, they were really going to have another child just like Killian had said back then. Would they really replace her? It didn't sound like that at all, but she could also feel the pressure of the whole marriage thing on her shoulders.

"Everything alright?" First, she didn't even hear him, her eyes fixed on the paper, but then she raised her head and gave him a small smile while she nodded.

"It's just...you were right. About the child. How did you know?" Even she hadn't known anything about her mother's pregnancy, and he had known about it even though their kingdoms were so far apart.

"I didn't know for sure. I just picked up some rumours while I was in town, and I used it against you to make you feel bad. I'm really sorry for that," he said and bit his bottom lip, looking guilty for a moment until she put her hand on his cheek and kissed him softly, stroking his stubble.

"It's okay. But they really can't wait for the marriage." She sounded insecure and read the letter again before she put it into one of the drawers, leaning back into the chair with a loud sigh.

"About that..." Emma frowned when she looked at him, watching how he scratched the little spot behind his ear. For a second, he almost looked nervous,but she waited for him to finish the sentence.

"The king wants to see us tonight in the throne room. Apparently, something with the marriage." He shrugged like it was nothing, but her face went white. No matter how many years she had prepared to marry someone she barely knew, the closer it came, the more nervous she got. It would be such a huge step in her life.

"I have to go out to the guards. I guess I see you tonight in the throne room? And don't tattle too much with Ruby about me!" He laughed and leaned forward to kiss her. She just smiled against his lips and watched him leave, eyes fixed on his backside for longer than it was appropriate.

"I know, it's a great ass," he said with a cheeky grin when he was at the door, and she just groaned, throwing a book after him.

"Just leave!" she giggled and shook her head. He was so different now that he had opened up to her and had told her the truth. It was almost surreal, but she loved it.

* * *

It was late when she made her way down to the throne room, and all different kinds of thoughts were shooting through her head. What did the king want from both of them that had to do with the marriage? What would he say? Did he know about the problems of her parents and know that the marriage should be sooner than later? Why wasn't he giving his soldiers to them already as she would marry Killian anyway?

She also still held a grudge toward him for hurting Killian but that was not really her business, and she knew it was smarter to stay out of it. If she ruined the thing here, her kingdom was lost as the ogres would simply run over them. When she had left, there were still enough men to protect the front, but the letter her parents had sent her made her worry even more. Normally, her parents were loving people, even in letters but this one sounded too formal as that everyone would be okay.

For a moment, she didn't pay attention. Her eyes were on the ground, and she ran into someone's strong chest. When she looked up, she could see Killian, smiling at her while holding her steady so she didn't fall over her own feet backward.

"Deep in thought?" he asked and tilted his head slightly, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. She just nodded before he took her hand, squeezing it briefly as they walked together toward the throne room.

"Can't be that bad." She knew he was just trying to cheer her up because the look in his eyes showed his worrying thoughts. Why was he worried? Shouldn't he know his father well enough to at least have an idea of what was going on?

The guards opened the door, and they walked into the big empty throne room. The dark and cold walls surrounded them again, and the King sat there, similar to Killian the day he had come back. The atmosphere was like a weight on her shoulders, and she didn't like being in there, not when it looked so empty and cold. Normally, people were around, but since the King had started to change, he spent much time in there without anyone, doing god knows what. She didn't even want to know.

"Ah, you're here, perfect." The King didn't stand up from his throne, and she could feel how Killian tensed up through the way he held her hand as they walked closer, stopping in front of the stairs.

"What can we do for you?" His voice was cold and Emma swallowed briefly, seeing the heartless man in him but as long as she was here, he wouldn't do anything. He said it himself. She was his light, and she would chase his darkness away as long as she could.

"Time flies fast, Killian. And her parents don't have much time left." He grinned like it would be nothing, and this time it was Emma who squeezed Killian's hand in anger, trying to hold it together as she needed to remind herself to be respectful because it was still the King they were talking to. Killian just gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, not trying to hide the disgusted look in his eyes. What had happened that he hated his father so much?

"You have six days to prepare," the king said and got up from his throne, walking over to a small table where he had a bottle of wine and glasses, pouring the red liquor into them.

"Prepare for what?" Killian asked with a puzzled look and looked at his fathers back until he turned around, bringing them down two glasses of wine. Emma's eyes went over to Killian before she took the glass, giving the King a fake smile before he walked back up. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to drink it. The man at her side didn't drink either.

Then the King was busy with his own glass then before he turned around, taking a long sip. He licked over his lips, looking from Killian to Emma with a grin before he chuckled.

"Well, for the marriage of course!"

For a moment, the room was draped in silence until the sound of shattered glass broke through the silence and Emma looked to Killian who had destroyed the glass with his left hand, blood dripping down to the ground, the pieces he was holding cutting into his flesh while he shot his father a look of nothing but darkness and hate.


	21. Chapter 21

Killian didn't even feel the pain that came from his hand, didn't see the blood falling on the cold castle ground. His eyes were fixed on the man in front of him while the darkness rose in him, but right now, he couldn't care less and let it come. His breathing was heavy, and he bit his bottom lip while clenching his hand into a fist. For a long moment, it was silent in the big, empty throne room, just the three of them, and he wouldn't deny that he wanted to draw his sword out to stab the man that had just ruined everything.

"You can't do this," he gritted out between his teeth, taking deep breaths to have control over himself, ignoring Emma's worried look at him completely. Right now it was just him and the king with no one between them. His hand twitched for a second, wanting to grab the handle of his sword while he had his eyes still fixed on the other man.

„I can, and I will. Just be ready." It was the amused smirk of the king's lips that made him snap, and he just turned around, leaving the room with fast steps, leaving Emma behind and not listening to her calling his name. He needed to get out before he did something he might regret.

His mind was dizzy and going darker with the thoughts he would love to live out while he didn't know where his feet where carrying him to, he just needed to get out, away. He didn't look up, eyes fixed on the ground and his own feet while the pain in his hand slowly came into his mind, and he hissed, stopping walking for a moment. He raised his hand and looked down at the blood, saw how he was shaking.

Only then he realized where he was, the fresh air, the flowers around him, the garden, the same place where he had seen his mother in his dream. He clenched his hand into a fist again, welcoming the pain when he heard his name again and turned around, this time not looking into his mother's but in Emma's, her green eyes full of worry looking at him.

"What happened? I mean, it's not much time, but I doubt that would anger you like…this," she said, keeping her distance from him, and he knew that she would probably be able to see the darkness in his eyes, the hatred he felt for the man he had loved so dearly long ago.

He clenched his hand harder, blood reddening the green grass under his feet, and he bit his bottom lip, trying to keep it together. That secret would burn him alive, but he couldn't tell her, couldn't bring her into danger. The castle had it's own eyes and ears.  _He_  would know at some point.

"I…I just can't marry you," he said, and he was disgusted that he even had to think about telling her these words. Seeing how her eyes changed from worry into shock didn't make it better. He knew that they had developed a thing in the last few days, maybe even weeks. He cared for her more than for anything else, and he was falling in love with her even without knowing what exactly that meant.

"What? I thought we-," she started but stopped when he turned his head to the side, avoiding looking at her because god that look in her eyes was breaking him. For a moment, he wanted to laugh at himself. He was so weak because of her. She made him like this, but she also made him stronger at the same time, made him a better man.

"Killian, what's the real reason?" she suddenly said with such a softness in her voice that he cringed. Now his lies didn't even work on her anymore? He chewed on his bottom lip for a long moment before he looked back at her, his nails digging into his wound at his hand and he took a step back from her, running his other hand over his face before he suddenly couldn't take the weight on his shoulders anymore.

"My mother died that day. Six days from today she burned alive because of him! He fucking killed her!" It was a mix of a growl and an angry scream that left his throat, and only when it was out did he realize what he had said. But instead of trying to take it back, he just sank down into the grass, burying both of his hands in his hair. Why did thinking about it hurt so much? It hadn't hurt like this before. He had to bite his bottom lip hard to avoid screaming. He could taste the blood, and he just wanted to stop it, but it didn't. It didn't stop. It hurt, and it was driving him insane. The feelings were too much. He wanted to be numb again.

But then he felt her hands on his cheeks and a shallow heartbeat in his chest, not sure if it was hers or his, but he looked up, eyes widened, and saw how she crouched down in front of him, holding his red cheeks, red from anger and pain and suddenly, it was gone. The feeling of him being torn apart from the inside was gone, and her green eyes were soft and glassy.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, his own pain suddenly forgotten when it was about her, a frown on his forehead.

"Because it hurts me to see you like this. Knowing I'm kind of the reason you got these feelings back," she said with a sob, and her thumbs stroked the scruff on his cheeks.

"Don't you dare apologize, love. You're the best thing that could happen to me." A small smile came up on his lips, and he took her hands in his, pulling her closer with a tug so he could place a kiss on her lips, feeling how he calmed down more and more.

When he pulled away, he used his thumb to dry one tear that was falling down her cheeks, trying to smile, but then he remembered what he had told her. He bit his bottom lip and was about to get up, but his legs were too weak so he sank back to the ground with a sigh.

"Is it true? That your father killed your mother? I mean, I know she died but are you sure it was him?" Her voice was so filled with worry that he just wanted to pull her into his arms while he still held her hand, neither of them caring about the blood that was on both of their skin now.

"He even told me."

* * *

_"Prince Killian!"_

_The knock on his door got him out of his dream, and he groaned loudly, turning around in his bed when they knocked again. With a huff, he got out of bed and pulled some pants on even though he didn't want to talk. He had no desire to get up and talk to any of these bastards, but the guard didn't stop knocking._

_He opened the door. It was in the middle of the night, that man better have a reason to disturb him or he would stab him in the throat with something sharp._

_"Oh thank god you're awake. The King, he…he locked himself into his room and there are weird noises and…please, check on him, you might get inside."_

_Killian raised an unamused eyebrow and shrugged. "He probably found a whore." Then he was about to close the door, but the guard put his hand on the door, and the young prince shot him a death glare full of darkness so that he pulled back._

_"Please?" the guard said, biting his bottom lip. Killian groaned and grabbed a shirt from the cupboard next to the door, there where he had 'lost' it last night._

_"Fine, go ahead," he growled at the guard, and the older man walked a few steps back into the hallway, but while Killian put his shirt on he turned around to the bed again._

_"Back in a few, don't worry," he said with a huff while looking at the girl in his bed who just nodded while hiding under the blanket. No one needed to know that she was warming his bed tonight. It would be a different one tomorrow._

_A few minutes later, he was in front of the room that would lead to the King's chamber. He knocked but no one opened it, and he was already annoyed with the situation so he sent the guards away. The noise of something breaking came to his ears, and he groaned, knocking again._

_"Open up!" he yelled against the wood and it was silent in the room. His foot was tapping against the stone under him in an annoyed and impatient gesture until the door was suddenly opened harshly in front of him only to see the red cheeks and nose of the older man, his breath smelling like alcohol._

_"You're smelling like a whole tavern," Killian said, unimpressed, and moved inside of the room, ignoring the protest. He looked around, seeing several broken things in the chambers of the King that used to be so wonderful, but in the last years the behavior of the once so graceful king had gone weird, given the fact that he had lost a wife and son._

_Today, he was just a drunk. A mad man, and this time Killian had no idea how worse it would get one day. Today, he was focused on the way the king snarled at him when the younger one leaned against the table with a raised eyebrow. At least he had let him inside, that's a good thing._

_"Why are you here?" the King asked and tilted his head, trying to control his voice that was filled with anger._

_"Well, the guards were worrying, and I had to stop my very enjoyable activities to come and check on you. For fucks sake, get a grip you lousy drunk," he said with a huff and crossed his arms over his chest before a little golden item caught his attention, and he walked over to the window sill where the crown was._

_"Don't you dare to touch it!" He ignored the protest again and took it, placing it on his head and looking into the mirror with a cocky grin._

_"Oh, but I like it and look how good it looks on me." He laughed darkly and turned around, but in the next second, he had a hand around his neck and his head slammed back in the mirror so hard that it broke._

_He hissed in pain and gasped, looking at the eyes in front of him that were filled with so much anger that he wanted to laugh, but instead he wasn't able to control the darkness in his body, and before he knew it, he looked the same and it was like looking into a mirror, just not separated with glass, there was nothing between them._

_"You don't deserve the crown!" The King's voice was shaking, and it was their first fight that ended in such a violence. He felt the throbbing pain at the back of his head but ignored it for now._

_"Actually, I do. I'm your only heir, remember? Besides that, it was always mother's crown until you came along, the only one who doesn't deserve it is you." He literally spit those words out and felt the grip tighten around his neck but just growled as a reaction. Since the witch had taken his heart, his fear was mostly gone. He wasn't afraid of this man in front of him, wasn't afraid to die. He would push his buttons._

_"Your mother was a whore, no queen. I saved this land!" The older man yelled at his face and Killian snapped, kicking him in the crotch with his knee so he would let go of his neck before he grabbed a piece of the broken mirror and held it to the throat of the man who was supposed to rule this land._

_"Don't you dare call her a whore," he growled with nothing but darkness and hate in his voice, biting his own bottom lip hard. The way he held the shard around his hand was painful. It was digging into his palm, blood running down his hand._

_"Or what? Are you going to kill me, boy? You know they would take this kingdom away from you, and you're way too obsessed with this life and the power you might get one day. So go ahead, kill me. You don't have the balls anyway."_

_Killian's grip tightened while he had the king backed up against a wall, the tip of the shard against the throat of the other man, and he just needed to move it forward, one movement and it would be over, but he couldn't. He knew the king was right, so he took his arm down and took a step back._

_"You're pathetic," he snarled and dropped the shard, kicking it away and wanted to leave the room._

_"Oh, yeah? Your mother was pathetic. That's the reason I killed her."_

_The prince froze, his hand at the door handle, holding it so tight his knuckles went white. That wasn't true. He did what? His eyes snapped back to the man who was now holding a sword, digging it into the side of Killian and he swallowed, not able to move._

_"You what?" His voice was shaking with anger, and he had the urge to jump forward and kill this monster, but he had no desire to get killed in the process._

_"Did she ever tell you she wanted to run away with you, maybe Liam too? Start a new life somewhere? I couldn't let that happen, you know. It would have been bad for my reputation, so the tragic fire happened." The king shrugged, digging the tip of the sword in his side more, and he hissed in pain, knowing the sharp metal had not only cut his light shirt but also the skin already._

_And he was shaking so damn much. For a second, he was afraid he would break the door handle, the only thing that he was holding while his other hand clenched into a fist, drawing only more blood from the already wounded hand. He looked down on the ground, trying to gather a clear thought, but he heard laughter and that voice again, the voice he never wanted to hear again._

_"And in case you want to tell anyone, I'll make your life a living hell," the King said, and Killian's eyes snapped back to him, but seconds later he felt pain against the back of his head and everything faded into black._

* * *

"So yeah, he basically knocked me out," Killian said as he finished his story, his gaze dropping down on the ground. He swallowed, not sure what she would think of him now, of knowing how he was before, but she just took her hands away from his to put them around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Killian." He smiled slightly against the crook of her neck and would love to know what she was thinking. About everything. Him, the king, the marriage. Just everything, but he was too afraid to ask, the feelings inside of him too overwhelming. The memories, the anger, the pain. It was too much, and he knew that without her, he would fall apart.

"I'm glad you're here." His voice was weak, and he just choked them out before taking a deep breath, breathing her in. Gods, he loved her.

"Let's get inside, alright? It'll be okay."

* * *

Emma needed the whole next day to process things and had asked Killian to leave her alone for a while. Of course he had done as she wished. It was just too much. The marriage would be there in a week, her parents might not make it in time as the invitations weren't out yet, the whole his father killed his mother thing was totally out of the things she could believe, and then there was the thing she was afraid of most: The consummation of the marriage. The sex was bad enough but with witnesses? It wouldn't get better for sure.

She was restless while walking up and down in their room, trying to gather a clear thought about the whole thing. The time they had until the marriage wasn't much for sure, and the servants would walk until their feet were bleeding and work until their hands would have blisters. There was no way to help them or anything, all she could do was just prepare for the marriage, doing all the stuff her parents had taught her before she had left the castle.

The fact that the King had murdered his own wife because she wanted to leave him was another thing. She still had more questions than answers, and it was hard to understand that the king she had met the first day, who had been even nicer than Killian, would be such a man but with recent behavior, it was actually no big surprise that he tried to hide his real face. The young prince had begged her last night to tell no one because he was afraid that she might get hurt, and she had made the promise to keep quiet. It was probably the smarter move. The King was a powerful man and would have her killed with the help of an assassin. He would probably even win the war against her family's army. So in fact, she had to forget everything that Killian had told her about this issue, she couldn't change a thing.

The consummation was the thing she could do something about, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to. She remembered the last time Killian had tried to take her. She had shivered and had started crying because the memories of her childhood flashed back into her mind, and she was so afraid of the pain that she just hadn't been able to control herself. She was so glad he had respected that and had gotten off in another way. But during their consummation, there was no way to get out of it. Their witnesses would watch carefully, and she had no desire to start crying there. She wasn't unhappy with Killian. She loved him and more every day, and it would make a really bad scene if she would get some kind of a panic attack while being under him, crying during the whole process. She hadn't told him about what had happened that made her like this, and she wasn't sure if she ever could.

She didn't want to make him feel bad or embarrass him during the consummation, so she had to do something about it. Telling him was no option she wanted to choose, she would rather just show him. Ask him to sleep with her with honest eyes and maybe he would agree? He had wanted it before, so maybe he would still want her. But she couldn't make this decision alone, way too nervous about it. For a moment she thought Ruby might be able to help her as her best friend, but Emma knew how she was, would always agree to sex so the blonde had chosen to call someone else to her chambers.

* * *

_"Come on, Emma! Let me court you!"_

_The boy was jumping around her, and she couldn't even make her way back to the orphanage once without him on her heels. Sister Nova had asked her to get something from the market, and she had agreed on it, not knowing that the son of the blacksmith would see her and run after her like every single time._

_"Ugh, go home, Walsh! I'm sure your father wants you to help him or something," she said, shifting the basket from her one hand into her other, trying to ignore the grin on the boy's lips._

_"I'd rather help you," he said with a smirk and tried to grab the basket, but Emma just moved it away and hit his stomach with her elbow._

_"Seriously, leave me alone. I need to get that thing back before it gets too dark." She swallowed and watched how the sun was almost completely behind the horizon already, she should have been back a while ago. She even took the more dangerous route that would lead her along the port, but she had to hurry. There was supposed to be a storm, and the streets of the town were never safe, especially not at night._

_"Fine, whatever," Walsh said with a huff and ran his hand through his hair before he turned on his heels. Emma stopped walking for a moment and smirked, happy that she finally got rid of him but also knowing that he would be back the next time._

_She laughed softly and turned around, only to bump into an older man who was looking down at her. For a moment, she just looked at him and swallowed. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, looking down at the ground like she always did when something like this happened and was about to hurry away from him when he gripped her arm and pulled her back so harshly that she let the basket fall down, the vegetables rolling down the port._

_"Why in such a hurry, girl?" he snarled at her and tightened the grip around her arm, she knew she would have bruises if he didn't stop doing it._

_"Let me go!" she hissed at him, but he put his hand over her mouth, looking around before dragging her into a dark corner. Anxiety rose in her, the fear of him was getting stronger, and she knew what he was planning to do, she just knew. She had heard stories from another girl in the orphanage that men liked to do…that._

_She never understood why, they were just kids. Without a family, yes. Without parents, yes. Without a real home, yes. But still, this was disgusting. They were no whores, and he was fat and ugly and no. She tried to bite him in the hand, but he pressed her smaller body against the wall in the dark alley. She couldn't even scream, she could do nothing. For gods sake, she should have used Walsh to guide her back or anything, sending him off was stupid._

_Emma mumbled curses against his hand, tried to do something but she couldn't. He was stronger than her and had this smirk on his lips that made her body shiver. His eyes were glassy and he smelled, was clearly drunk, but she wasn't even sure if he wouldn't try the same in a sober state._

_"Shivering, hm? Sweet anticipation," he mumbled while lifting her skirt, and she tried to hurt him somehow, to slap him, to kick him, but there was nothing she could do. He held her so tight that she was afraid he might break her bones._

_"Now keep quiet," he huffed and took both of her hands in his big one, holding it over her head while pressing her against the wall with his body, trying to open his pants with his free hand. She wanted to scream but couldn't, way too afraid that he would hurt her even more than the thing he wanted to do to her right now, so she just bit her bottom lip hard while tearing up. The girl from the orphanage had survived it, she could do the same. The only thing that escaped her was a whimper, and it apparently wasn't quiet enough so he slapped her so hard across the face that she couldn't even breath for a second._

_She was shivering so hard, couldn't control her own body anymore, and she just let the tears go when she heard the rustle of clothes, turning her head to the side while she had her eyes closed. She didn't want to see him or anything else, she just wanted it to be over._

_In the moment where she thought he would lay her down or something and just thrust inside of her, she heard a dull noise instead and then her hands were free. Without thinking she just shoved her skirt back down and looked around in panic, her eyes red from the tears. The man was laying on the ground, still breathing but without consciousness. She didn't dare to look around more and her instinct told her to run, so she ran, but she didn't even make it far out of the alley._

_"Hey, calm down, lass." The voice was deeper than the one of the man who was laying in the alley, hopefully bleeding to death because that's what she wished him right now. Her tears were still falling from her face, feeling how another hand was around her arm and she just wanted to go. Gods why couldn't they let her go, she was just a girl._

_Only after a few seconds she noticed that the grip around her arm was much softer, not pulling her around like cattle, softly holding her where she was and that was when she opened her eyes carefully to look at the man who was towering above her but sank down to crouch in the next second._

_"Are you okay?" he asked, and his eyes were worried while they lay on her cheek that was red as hell, and it was burning, and she just wanted to stop shivering and wanted to go back to the orphanage, so she just nodded, knowing it was a lie because how was she supposed to be okay after almost being raped, maybe even killed?_

_The man just laughed and let go of her arm, taking his hand back but not moving. She didn't do the same, and her eyes fell on some men walking in the alley where the other one was still on the ground, and she frowned._

_"Did you punch him?" she asked, her voice still shaking, and she hated herself for being so weak. She needed to be strong in this world when she wanted to survive for gods sake!_

_"Yeah. It's not nice to treat a lady like that, no matter what age." She smiled slightly at his words, trying to get a better look at him in the darkness. He seemed to be young, but his voice was rough, his hair was dark, and his eyes were blue. She had never seen him before, probably a sailor with his men._

_"What do you want from me?" she asked then, not trusting to be safe right now, but he just laughed and ruffled her hair. He put two of his fingers into his mouth and whistled, only seconds later another man came to him, giving him the basket full of vegetables back._

_Emma's eyes widened when he gave her the things back she thought were lost, and she smiled. "I just wanted to help. Being a gentleman is really important and he? He wasn't one." He lifted his hand and she shied away for a second, but then he just moved a cloth over her dirty face, trying to clean it without hurting her wounded cheek._

_"What's your name, young lady?" he asked her, still crouching in front of her while she was holding the basket with both hands, biting her bottom lip and unsure if she should tell him. She didn't even know him, but he also saved her._

_"I'm no lady, but the name's Emma," she said in a whisper and looked around, almost afraid like someone else could hear her name but she sighed happily when no one else was close around them._

_"Well then, Emma. Do you need anything? Should I bring you home?" he asked and got up into a standing position again, tilting his head like a dog while smiling at her, but she shook her head._

_"I have no home, I'm an orphan. But no, I'm fine, it's not that far anymore. Thank you, sir." She smiled shyly up at him, the adrenaline in her body the only thing that kept her together. She knew she would freak out and cry as soon as she realized what had just happened, but the shock was too big for now._

_He looked at her with worried eyes before he laughed softly. "I'm no sir, but I hope you get back safe." Then he turned around but Emma stopped, a curious glint in her eyes._

_"If you're no sir, then what's your name?" She didn't know why she was suddenly so curious, but that man had just saved her life, together with his friends who were still in that alley, and she really hoped they would tear that guy there apart because he didn't deserve anything else._

_"Davy. Davy Jones, and in a few years, everyone will talk about me," he answered and winked at her with a mysterious grin on his face before walking into the opposite direction, leaving her behind with a confused look on her face._

* * *

The memories of the incident back then were fresh and painful but the faces of the people that day were long lost. There was a knock at the door, and Emma stopped walking, smiling softly. "Come in," she said and waited for the other blonde to come inside. Tink smiled at her and came inside, bowing briefly, and Emma rolled her eyes before she pulled her friend into a hug.

"What can I do for you, Emma?" she asked and both of them walked over to sit down at the table so they could look at each other.

"First of all, could you stop talking like you're my servant? You're my friend, Tink." She smiled at her and got a nod back as an answer. Emma took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to explain herself. She had decided that Tinkerbell would be the better person to talk to when it was about Killian, and she needed to get an opinion on the whole thing.

"It's about the marriage and Killian," she pressed out between her lips and bit her bottom lip in a nervous way.

Tink just tilted her head to the side and reached over the table, taking one of Emma's hands in her hand. The other girl was always so loving and caring so that she could only feel safe around her. "What is it that's bothering you? I know it's a short period of time, but I'm sure he will be fine with it."

Emma shook her head and squeezed the hand of the other girl slightly. "It's not about that. Not exactly. It's about me and him. About…the consummation of the marriage." She could see in the eyes of the other that she started to understand. Tink smiled at her and bit her bottom lip for a moment, not sure what to say so Emma just started talking again.

"I had…stuff happening to me in the past. I'm actually really afraid to…you know, lose my maidenhood. But I really don't want to embarrass him when the witnesses watch us, do you know what I mean? I'm afraid I might overreact and cry or something, and I don't want him to think it's him." She gritted her teeth and looked down at their hands for a moment, her free hand going through her hair, nervously trying to fix it even if it wasn't messy at all.

"Did you talk with him about that?" Tink asked and Emma shook her head. Of course she hadn't. The last time when she burst into tears when he was about to take her was worse enough. There was a difference between her pleasuring him with her mouth or him getting on her in these ways than the actual act. She had no trouble with heavy kissing sessions, his hands running over her body. It made her feel good, but as soon as his cock was about to slip inside, she started to freak out.

"I just feel so bad about the whole thing. I want to ask him if we might…you know, sleep together before the marriage. I know that's not the point of the whole thing, but I want to be a strong queen, not one who cried during the consummation. I just don't know if he would understand." She saw how a frown was on Tink's face and her friend must probably think that she was stupid. Emma was about to pull her hand away, but Tink kept holding it in a calming way, and she looked up at the other blonde while chewing on her bottom lip.

"A few weeks ago I would have said he wouldn't understand but now? He is so in love with you, Emma. I bet he would do everything you want." The princess felt how her cheeks grew hot. Knowing that Tink knew how much Killian loved her made her blush heavily, they haven't really showed people that they were in love yet. Ruby only caught them kissing once but they haven't said what they felt for each other then, so it was different now.

„What makes you so sure about that?" It wasn't that she doubted that he loved her, but she was curious why Tink would say it in that way.

The other blonde just chuckled slightly and smiled. "Well, probably because he came into my room a few nights ago, falling on my bed like a little boy with that stupid grin on his face only to tell me how beautiful and perfect you are. When I asked him if that was all he wanted to tell me he got up with a blush, said he actually just wanted his book back. So yes, he totally loves you."

She blushed even more after that little story but couldn't stop herself from smiling. Sometimes she also got the urge to just tell people how much he meant to her, but telling that to a random servant seemed a little weird, so she had kept it to herself and just told Killian in faint whispers while they were falling asleep, his strong arms around her.

"Thank you," Emma said with a smile on her face and got up from her chair, pulling Tink up with her and into another, this time tighter, hug. "You really helped me."

Tink smiled when they pulled apart and winked. "So no matter what you do, he will understand. If you need me, you know where to find me." With that the other girl was out of the room, and Emma took a deep breath. She had to do it, sooner than later. The sooner she got it over with, the better it would be during the consummation. He just needed to come back from his hunting trip with Victor.

While she waited for him, she tried to keep her mind off the whole thing. Reading a book, looking out of the window, eating a little, looking through her dresses until he finally opened the door carefully. It was late, and he probably thought she was already asleep or something because he literally snuck in, and she couldn't stop herself from laughing. He froze when he saw her, and she raised an eyebrow at the way he smiled.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked her in a whisper before he cleared his throat and closed the door behind him.

"Why are you sneaking around?" she asked in return, and he rolled his eyes while putting the crossbow back into his chest of weapons.

"I'm not sneaking, I simply didn't want to wake you up." He shrugged before he walked over to her and took her face in his hands, kissing her softly.

"Well, I'm certainly not sleeping." She chuckled and ran her hand up and down his chest, feeling how he was sweating a little. He seemed to notice too in the way his shirt clung to his skin, and he pulled away, removing his shirt and throwing it into a corner.

"You should be. The next days will be exhausting." Emma bit her bottom lip at his comments and shifted from one foot to the other while he put on another shirt. Completely useless actually because she still planned on removing it from his shoulders anyway.

"Yeah, about that…we need to talk." A sentence no man liked to hear ever, and she knew it. That's why she wasn't surprised when he looked utterly confused at her, his forehead in a frown, and she couldn't help herself but giggle a little at his face.

The princess took a deep breath and walked over to him where he was standing in front of the wardrobe. She buried one hand in his shirt, tugging on it slightly, playing with it while she avoided his gaze.

"Emma, what-" He couldn't even manage to finish his sentence before her lips were on his, and he sighed softly, opening his mouth as soon as her tongue drew along his bottom lip, giving her the access she wanted. Her hand fisted in his shirt and pulled him even closer in a way that made him gasp before she pulled away.

"Sleep with me. Tonight."

She knew she just took a leap of faith, just jumping right into it, but why wait and why explain things she didn't even want to think about. Maybe he would ask, but she would try to distract him so that he would forget his questions at least until tomorrow. It was okay. It was him and no one else. Someone who loved her with all he had, even without a heart,and it would be okay. It was him.

For a long moment, he just looked at her, hands on her waist without that he said something. She was actually kind of afraid he would deny her the night she wanted, a night of love and gentle pleasure so she bit her bottom lip for a moment, looking for something in his eyes that would tell her anything.

"Emma, I…Where is this request coming from? I mean, not that I'm complaining but the last time…you know," he said and tilted his head, worry in his eyes, and she sighed, dropping her forehead against his shoulder while her hand was still fisted in his shirt, her other one already under his shirt, feeling his warm skin.

"Exactly because of the last time. I wasn't ready, I couldn't do it, and I don't want to cry during the consummation. I'm afraid it might happen again, and I don't want to embarrass you or anything, so please, sleep with me?" It sounded so pathetic to literally beg him to take her before the marriage, but she was so afraid and already embarrassed that she wouldn't be able to stand the thought that it might happen during the consummation any longer.

"You can never embarrass me, love. I don't care about what they think, but if it's bothering you so much, it will be an honor for me to take you tonight." His voice was so soft and gentle, so different from the last time they had been intimate, and she took her head from his shoulder and smiled at him, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

He smiled back at her and she grabbed his hand, walking backward in the direction of the bed, pulling him with her until her legs hit the back of the bed and she sank down, crawling up until she was comfortable and he was following her with a wolfish grin and already dark eyes, and this time, it wasn't scary anymore, it was exactly what she wanted.

Her hand moved to his necklace, and she pulled slightly on it until his lips were on hers, and she sighed softly, feeling how he settled between her spread legs, one of his hands running up her thigh, lifting the dress in the process.

"Make me yours, Killian."


	22. Chapter 22

His hands were suddenly all over her, running up and down, removing more fabric, exposing more skin, opening the ties of her corset until he got up from the bed, helping her to get her dress completely off. He swallowed when he saw her laying in front of him, only wearing her panties, and he took a long second to just look at her — her messy hair, her red cheeks, her heavy breathing, and he knew he wasn't looking better at all, the bulge in his pants showing how much he wanted this.

The tension between them had been a nightmare, she knew that, and she was as relieved as he that they were about to get it out now, about to take their relationship to another level. Emma smiled at him and held her hand out, wanting him to come back to her, but he just shook his head, shrugging out of his shirt and shrugging his pants off, being completely naked, and he smiled at her before he sat back down and settled between her legs again.

He briefly kissed her, and she heard how he was muttering praises against her lips, words like 'beautiful' and 'stunning' were falling from his lips over and over again while he was kissing her lips, her jaw, down to her throat where he suddenly bit down a little rougher than she had expected. She yelped and glared at him when he lifted his head with that cheeky grin, but he was just doing what she had told him. He was marking her as his. She would just have to cover it the next day, otherwise she would have to tell stories to Ruby and Tink, and she had no desire to share any intimate details about this night.

"What are you-" She stopped and shut her mouth again when he grinned at her while kissing down her stomach, leaving a few bites here and there. She had thought he would go on it, just take her, but he apparently wanted to take his time with her, so his head was between her legs before she could protest. As soon as his tongue licked through her wet folds, she threw her head back into the pillow, her hands fisting in the sheets and her hips rising, meeting his mouth and hearing a low chuckle.

"So impatient," he mumbled against her soft skin when he kissed down her left thigh, kissing up the right one until he was at her center again, just carefully blowing cool air against her hot center, and he felt how something in her stomach was twisting and her hand moved to his head, fisting in his hair, trying to push him down a little.

"Could you just not torture me?" she asked with a soft laugh and looked at him, meeting his blue eyes while he was nibbling on the soft skin of her center, shaking his head a little.

"It's only for your best, Princess. The wetter you are, the less it will hurt." His voice was already rough, and his eyes were dark, filled with lust, and she swallowed, not wanting to think about that it might hurt, but he was probably right. He knew what he was doing so she would just let him have her body and enjoy it. She rocked her hips up a little, and he chuckled against her before he sucked on her folds and licked through them, sucking her clit and thrusting his tongue inside of her, and all she could do was moan, and she felt utterly pathetic when she was at his mercy like this, but it felt so, so good.

He didn't seem to mind the tight grip she had on his hair and the way her hips bucked against his mouth, he was obviously enjoying himself there. Then he suddenly grabbed her hips and held them down, and she let out a frustrated groan, glaring down at him because how was she supposed to not die when he was doing the things with his mouth, and she couldn't even move her hips? But the look she got made her swallow, his stubble was glistening slightly in her arousal and he was grinning, eyes even darker than before, and she just couldn't help herself but smile at him.

When he tore his gaze away from her, she just let her head drop back into the pillow, closing her eyes, concentrating on the pleasure. He removed one hand from her hip, holding her down with the other but used his free hand to run up and down her inner thigh for a moment before he used one finger to push inside of her, slowly and carefully, but she barely felt it, her arousal making him slip in easy. He slowly started to pump in and out of her, his tongue flicking against her clit from time to time, making her hips buck a little but not much as his hand was still holding her in place.

She gasped when he added a second one, now feeling both of his fingers inside of her quite well, and she bit her bottom lip, shifting slightly on the bed and gripping his hair some more when he started to move them in and out as slow as before but picking up the pace soon while his lips were on her clit, sucking it into his mouth, and she moaned loudly when she felt her orgasm building inside of her. He curled his fingers slightly, and only a few seconds later she was moaning loudly, his name falling from her lips over and over again like a prayer, and he moved his fingers slower, helping her through her orgasm until she was done, breathing heavily while he was crawling up her body again, placing a kiss on her lips with a smirk.

"That's a good princess," he mumbled and kissed her again, and she opened one eye to look at him and his stupid smirk before she laughed, pulling him back down by his necklace, tasting herself on his lips. It was a weird taste but not unpleasant and he really seemed to like it.

Emma looked down between them, seeing how his length was pressed against her thigh, and she bit her bottom lip. He was really quite big and for a moment she thought about stopping it right here, he would listen to her, she knew that.

"You can still stop this, you know that," he whispered in her ear, biting her earlobe a little, but she just shook her head.

"No. No, I want that, just promise me you will be gentle," she answered and he lifted himself up more to look into her eyes and smiled at her. She smiled back at him and saw the softness in his eyes before he nodded.

She looked down between them once more and took a deep breath, spreading her legs a little more for him. He moved back so he was sitting on his knees, taking his cock in his hand and stroking a few times before he guided himself to her center, keeping his eyes on her to see her reaction when the tip slowly slipped inside of her. Her breathing became faster, and it was the moment she had always been afraid of, the pain and everything. Normally, she saw the guy's face who had tried to take her against her will once but right now, it was just Killian, his blue eyes, his everything was distracting, and it was okay. It was okay with him.

He leaned forward again and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her softly while he pressed forward slowly. She tensed up under him, but he took one of her hands, interlacing their fingers together and putting it next to her head where he was supporting himself while her other hand went to his upper arm, gripping his biceps, trying to hold onto something.

The prince pressed himself forward slowly, always giving her enough time to adjust to his cock even though it was driving him insane that he couldn't move faster just yet, he didn't want to hurt her. "You're doing great," he mumbled against her lips and kept kissing her, giving her no chance to reply and she was glad that he was being so gentle and caring. He was about half the way in her when his hips jerked forward and she cried out briefly, a single tear slipping down her face but his lips found it, kissing it away.

His cock was completely buried inside of her, and she tried to take a deep breath, just looking in his eyes when he had pulled away to check if she was okay. After she took a moment and was sure she could take him she just nodded with a smile, giving him a sign that she was ready. When he started to move it hurt her for a moment, but the pain was forgotten when it was replaced with pleasure, when he was moving in and out of her, slowly and gently, and she closed her eyes again, savouring the feeling of him inside of her.

"You feel so amazing, love." She smiled at his words but was way too focused to reply, but she didn't mind him talking, didn't mind hearing his rough voice that was turning her on even more and she just knew he was as wrecked as she was. She took her hand away from his and buried it in his hair, the other one going to his back, pulling him closer to her as she just wanted to feel him, the moving of him in her, his length pressing against her inner walls.

"Faster," she suddenly muttered, being confident enough that she could take it. She saw how his smile turned into a smirk, and he kissed her again, moving his hips faster and a moan slipped from her lips. He used that moment to push his tongue inside of her, letting it battle with hers for a moment while they were moving together, finding the rhythm between the movement of his hips and hers.

It was so intense, and she couldn't compare that feeling to anything else. Now she knew why Ruby tended to play wild and get out to find someone to sleep with. He kissed her neck and her jaw, kissing her all over, trying to make the pain go away while he tried to get them both closer to the edge. Her own hands ran up and down his back, both were groaning and moaning together quite soon.

"I'm close," he groaned next to her ear and used one of his hands to slip them between their bodies where they were joined and Emma jerked her hips up fast when his fingers found her clit, rubbing her. She just smiled at him and had to bite her bottom lip to keep a laugh inside. He was trying to make her come first, always a gentleman.

The smile fell from her face when he thrusted inside of her a little stronger, and she came, rough and hard like never before, literally screaming his name from her intense orgasm, the tension falling away from her. Her inner walls tightened around him, adding to his pleasure, and he groaned loudly when he came, maybe her name fell from his lips, she wasn't even sure. She felt how he came inside of her before he slumped forward, holding himself up on his forearms so he wouldn't crush her, his forehead pressed against hers.

Both of them just stayed like that for a while, heavily breathing before he lifted himself up a little and pulling out of her. She suddenly felt empty and cold when he rolled off her, landing on his back next to her with a sigh, running his hand through his slightly wet hair.

"The first time is never really good. The next time will be better, I promise," he panted, and she raised an eyebrow, rolling on her side and slapping his chest until he looked at her.

"You're a moron. It was good. Better than I expected," she admitted and smiled, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before he grabbed the blanket and pulled it over them. She snuggled closer to him and placed her head on his chest, feeling how his chest was rising up and down fast. "I bet you just said that to get your ego stroked."

He laughed loudly and pressed a kiss to her head, wrapping an arm around her to pull her closer while her arm lay around his middle. "Maybe."

She chuckled and shook her head, looking up at him with a smirk. "Idiot," she said and kissed his jaw, feeling his rough stubble against her kiss swollen lips but he just laughed again, pulling her a little closer.

"Yeah but yours."

Emma smiled at his words, her head on his chest, trying to catch a breath. Her own heart was beating so fast that she thought it might jump out of her chest, and she wondered if he felt the same, at least a little, given the fact that he had no heart. Now that her ear was pressed against the place where his heart was supposed to be, she couldn't hear or feel any heartbeat, the sign that he was alive was completely gone and yet, here he was, smiling down at her while she was drawing circles on his chest. He had no heart, and it scared her because she knew there was a darkness that was consuming him more and more every day, and there was probably no real way to stop it, but it was okay, kind of. She didn't need him to have a heart to love him, and he didn't need a heart to love her back.

The Princess pressed a kiss to his chest, right above the spot where his heart should be, where she should feel the heartbeat against her lips and he frowned for a moment, tilting his head to the side so he could look at her.

"What are you feeling, Killian?" she asked him in a whisper like she would be afraid that question might not be appropriate. He took a moment and was quiet, apparently thinking about what she meant before he smiled at her and leaned down, capturing her lips with his.

"Love."

Her smile grew wider, and it didn't take long until the exhaustion found the place in their bodies and both of them fell asleep.

* * *

Emma woke up with a low groan and her hand tightened around the body she was clinging to. Her chest was pressed against his back, and she smiled to herself when she remembered the last evening and the night. She was still in complete bliss when she thought about how careful he had been with her, how he had praised her and how she had woken him up in the middle of the night, asking him to do it again, hoping it wouldn't hurt this time. And it didn't. It wasn't perfect for sure, but it had been better than the first time, no pain, no blood, just the little uncomfortable feeling that didn't stay long because the pleasure he had given her over and over again totally made up for it.

All what she could see of him now was the dark tuft of hair looking out from under the blanket. He seemed to be asleep. She smiled to herself and shifted a little closer, pressing herself against his naked form and pulling the sheet down a little more to place a soft kiss on his neck. His confession was trapped in her mind, the one simple word that made it clear that he was able to feel good and bad things. Maybe it would be smarter to be afraid of him, to keep a little distance because a man who was feeling hate was a dangerous one, but on the other side, she wouldn't be able to stay away from him. She loved him, somehow. She didn't know where it was coming from, it was just there. She fell in love with him slowly over the time she was there and then, all at once. There was no going back.

"Morning," he suddenly groaned and shifted in her embrace, facing her and his nose touching hers. She chuckled softly and leaned up to place a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Morning." She smiled at his sleepy face, his tired blue eyes, and his messy hair before she shifted again and snuggled against him. Her body was tired, and she felt worn out from their activities and sleeping was the better option even through she doubted that she was able to, not now that he was awake too.

"Don't make me get up," she suddenly said, laughing a little against his chest before she looked up at him with a small grin. He just raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes. „I kind of don't want to move?" She bit her bottom lip, hoping that she didn't have to explain why she didn't want to move. A few seconds later, a smug grin showed up on his face, and she knew that he had understood what she meant. She was about to say something, but he had rolled them over, was hovering over her, the blanket slipping down to his waist.

"Think you can take another round?" he asked with a grin, wiggling his eyebrows. His eyes were already darkened even though he had just woken up, a hungry gaze in them, and she laughed softly, putting her hands against his chest.

"I think you, sir, need to restrain yourself a little. Give me time, okay?" She looked at him with a pleading look, but he just leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Of course," he said and rolled back down, pulling her toward him until her head was laying on his chest. He wasn't afraid anymore that she couldn't hear his heart beat because he was very much alive and able to love her. She knew that as much as he did. It was a mystery, kind of, but it was okay.

They were silent for a moment, his hand caressing her arm until he let out a low sigh and looked down at her, meeting her eyes. She watched how he bit on his bottom lip, insecurity in his eyes.

"Are you going to tell me what happened in your past?" he eventually asked, and she swallowed, looking away from him and just pressing herself closer against him. She knew that this question would come, but she really didn't know what to say.

"The whole story?" she asked him, trying to have a strong voice but couldn't hide the little sadness in it. He placed a soft kiss on her head and pulled her against him with his strong arms, making her feel safe.

"Only if you want to," he answered, smiling down at her. She leaned up and kissed him briefly, smiling at him before she settled back into his side, trying to find the right words.

"When I was still a baby, the castle was on fire. No one knew how it happened, but everyone needed to get out. My parents were in the throne room while I was with my nanny. She saved me, got me out, that's at least what my parents told me. I don't know what happened then, but I was separated from my parents almost all my childhood. I grew up in an orphanage, not knowing who I was, hating my parents for giving me up. It wasn't a pretty place and kids don't get adopted often." She stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath before she moved away from him, sitting up in the bed so she could lean against the headboard, taking the blanket with her to cover herself up in the cold room.

He rolled himself on his side, looking up at her with curious eyes, an encouraging smile on his face, one that told her to go on. She smiled back at him, glad that he cared about her and her past.

"I was about eleven maybe when I was on my way home and stumbled against an older man. He pulled me into a dark alley and…tried to take me against my will." Memories were flashing in front of her eyes, and she closed them for a moment, biting her bottom lip hard when the sickness came up in her, but then she felt how he took her hand, squeezing it slightly and she looked at him. He nodded at her, his thumb running over the back of her hand to soothe her.

"A few sailors saved me. I can't really remember, but it must have been the Captain that spoke to me, calling himself Davy Jones. I don't remember what he looked like, only that he had blue eyes, similar to yours. His voice was so strong that the name never really left my thoughts," she said quietly and shrugged, but when her eyes fell on his face, she saw that his jaw was set tight and he had stopped running his thumb over her hand. For a moment she frowned and tilted her head. "Something wrong?"

It seemed like she had snapped him out of his thoughts with her words, and he started to smile again, nodding at her. "Yes, of course. But why did your parents not look for you?" he asked and ran his thumb over her skin again.

"They did. They always said they moved heaven and hell, but I was in a different kingdom. Don't know how I got there, but they found me around a year later. I share the same birthmark with my father on my back, that's how they recognized me. What followed was a crazy time. I had to accept that I was a princess, that my parents never gave me up. I had to learn how to behave as royalty, had to learn how to read, you know, all that kind of stuff. That's also why I never really liked balls or something and liked to get out on a horse in nature. It's not really princess-like, but it gives me peace." She smiled to herself, her eyes fixed on the blanket in front of her until the bed shifted, and he pulled her back into his arms.

"I didn't know. Maybe I would if I would have cared about what happened in the last years, but well, not my strength," he said and laughed, kissing her again like he was addicted to her lips. "I'm just glad they found you and sent you here." He kissed her again with more passion now, cradling her face in his hands. "I'm glad to be with you."

She smiled in the next kiss and threw her arms around him, pressing herself against him, and he groaned when she straddled him. For a moment, she had been afraid he wouldn't accept who she was, but he did, loved everything about her, and she couldn't be more grateful.

"Now you can have your other round," she said with a giggle and rolled her hips against his with a smirk on her face, hoping that he could make her forget the things that had come up again with telling him. Hoping that he could take the pain away.

* * *

Killian walked up and down in the vault where his heart was, trying to gather a clear thought. He had left her a few hours ago after she had requested to stay in bed because she felt sore. It was no question that he had accepted this and had told the servants to bring her food, telling Ruby and Tink to keep her company to have their girl talk about whatever.

It was a good thing because it gave him time to think. He realized last night that he was indeed able to feel love because of her, but he also felt the hate for the king, the man who had ruined his life and kept him in this golden cage and now, now he was about to destroy the whole kingdom. After last night he knew one thing for sure: He needed to stop this wedding.

He ran a hand through his hair and huffed, this whole thing was madness. As soon as he was married, the deal with the pirates would come along. Back then he didn't care about this kingdom, about the princess he was married to, about what would happen as long as he had the Jolly Roger and could go to have a life at sea. He still wanted that but now, with Emma in the picture? It made it complicated. Love made it complicated.

There was no way he could talk to someone about it. He also had no idea how to stop the wedding. He had no desire to lose Emma to the pirates who would treat her like a whore, but he also felt more responsible for this kingdom, the land and people of his family, of his beloved mother who wouldn't want him to give it up for nothing. Gods, he shouldn't have made that stupid deal in the first place. Throwing the crown away for a freedom that could kill him. He couldn't be a king, not now, not as long as the deal was there. But if he would call the marriage off completely, the pirates would get suspicious, they would riot, no matter if Blackbeard was on his side or not. The kingdom didn't have enough soldiers to defend themselves, most of them were fighting with the ogres, trying to keep them out of the land.

He let out a frustrated groan. He somehow needed to push back the coronation, but there was no way that came to his mind. He wasn't able to say no, it would break Emma's heart, and he couldn't explain the whole thing to her, the fear that he might loose her was way too strong. Asking the king to call it off? He wouldn't do that and the pirates would hear about it. After the marriage he would only have a couple of days until the coronation, not enough time to give the pirates something else.

Killian leaned his back against the cold brick wall, sliding down until he sat down, hand running over his face while he started at the box with his heart, the sound of the beat roaring in his ears. It was different now. It was louder, stronger, and he felt it in his chest. It was heavy, it was painful. A small part of him hated Emma for bringing all this back, the confusion, the problems, the feelings, the pain, but his love was stronger. He didn't know why he felt that deeply for her, didn't know how it was possible, and he couldn't really care. This wedding needed to be called off somehow.

He could try to run off to the pirates, try to make another deal, but he had no idea if they were in port right now, and he would need at least a couple of days, but the marriage crept closer every day. People would get invited and come over, the citizens would get prepared for a huge feast.

The prince threw his head back against the cold wall with force, hurting himself in the process more than he had expected and suddenly, it hit him. It was similar to the pain he had felt many years ago when his head had hit the mirror. The day that bastard dared to insult his mother. Memories flashed in front of his eyes, and he could hear the voice of the man he hated so much:

_'Or what? Are you going to kill me, boy?'_

Killian groaned and shook his head, closing his eyes and trying to shake the feelings off that were rushing through his body, pumping him with adrenaline. He started to pant when his chest ached more than it should. He was no boy anymore.

_'So go ahead, kill me. You don't have the balls anyway.'_

His hand reached to his chest, grabbing his shirt at the place where his heart was supposed to be. The man was begging for it. After all these years, he had the balls. His motives were different now. He could-

_'I killed her.'_

Overwhelmed with memories and feelings that suddenly rushed back in his body, he jumped up, feeling the hatred he had for the first time in many years. He didn't know what was happening when he started to shake and walked out of the vault with fast steps. Gathering a clear thought was hard, but if the King would be dead, the funeral would throw off the marriage and give him time until the coronation. It would give him time to make another deal with the pirates. It would give him time to save the kingdom.

The King had to die.


	23. Chapter 23

He was surprised that there weren't any guards in the corridor, but the King had the habit of sending them away when he wanted to smash things. It was only better for him. His blood was pumping in his veins when he slammed his fist against his door. When he didn't get a reply, he just walked in, looking around to see some broken things.

Normally he was the one with anger issues, but Emma made it better. Well, not right now. She was at the other end of the castle, and he was here, with him. He felt the darkness swelling in his chest, and he took a deep breath when his eyes fell on the other man.

Killian tilted his head and walked forward, watching the king - how he was laying on the ground - and breathed heavily. When brown eyes spotted him, the head lifted and looked him right in the eye. Something was wrong. The eyes were glassy, and he couldn't move in any other way. The struggle was shown on his face.

What had happened in here?

"You," he croaked out and Killian frowned. "It's all your fault."

The Prince huffed and raised an eyebrow, looking down on the apparently paralyzed man. "What have I done now?" He simply sat down on the bed, not really caring to help the other one up. The ground was a good position for someone like a king who had always put himself over all other people. He had lost his closeness to his people a long time ago.

He should have pity for the other, how he was on the ground, but deep inside he wished that the other man was in pain. His mind was a mess, questioning what had happened, who did this or if the king did this to himself were running through his mind, but he knew that he wouldn't get any answers if he lost his temper now.

"They came for you. Your heart," the other man gritted out behind his teeth, and Killian's breath got stuck in his throat, and he swallowed, feeling panic rise up inside of him.

"Who?" he asked and jumped up from the bed, looking around the room for any clues, but it just looked like the King had had another night of anger issues.

"The crows."

Killian's eyes widened, and he took a deep breath while his hand was going to his belt where his sword was. The crows belonged to a witch once, magical creatures who could turn into a human or a crow. After the death of the witch, they remained but got hunted for a while when they were loners and seperated from their kind, but after they got together as a group, they were simply working as mercenaries if you got the gold for this. Magic was rare in their times, and they had to survive somehow. Did the Dark One send them?

"Please, son. Help me," the king said in a whisper and coughed, blood coming out of his mouth. Killian raised an eyebrow and crouched down next to the man.

"What did they do to you?" he asked but couldn't feel any sympathy. The King had violated and abused him so much that this was only a thing he could enjoy. If the crows had really attacked them, he would most likely die, and the black men were gone already.

"Poison. Get the healers." It sounded like a demand, and Killian just huffed and got up to stand again, a small dark smirk on his features.

"What did you tell them?" His voice was rough, and he was in no hurry anymore. He knew he couldn't stop the crows. All he could hope was that they didn't find the vault, but the look in the King's eyes told him that he had spilled some things.

Killian drew his sword out and put the tip under the chin of the other man. "You told them." It wasn't a question, but the huff from the other gave him his answer. He gritted his teeth and pushed a little closer, drawing a small amout of blood from breaking the skin.

For a second, a flash of pity ran through his body when he watched the other man on the ground, paralyzed by some poison, probably dying a painful death.

"Come on, son. Your mother wouldn't have wanted this." The rough voice ripped him out of his thoughts, and he took his sword away from the other man's chin.

"You're right. After everything you did, you deserve a painful death," he said with a dark chuckle and saw how the features on the King's face got darker, and a growl left his throat. Killian had no idea anymore if this was right or wrong, if he should let him die painfully slow, but with the risk of someone finding him, he should probably just slit his throat.

He bit his bottom lip while looking away, praying that the vault was safe and sound just like his heart before he turned his back on the man on the ground, ready to go outside.

"This is how you treat your father?!" The King's voice was louder than before, almost yelling, and Killian turned his head, watching over his shoulder how blood was running out of the other's mouth even more than before. He sighed and turned around, anger swelling up in him again. The tip of his sword was pressed against the other's throat again within a second, and a growl left his mouth while his hand clenched around the handle.

"Now you are my father? I wanted a father when I was a kid, and I always asked myself why I wasn't good enough for you. I always wanted a father to train me in sword fighting, to take me out hunting, but Liam always came first, and I never understood why. Where was the father in you when you abused me? Used me as your punching bag because you felt bad?!" His voice was filled with anger, and he was almost yelling at the man on the ground, gripping the sword handle with two hands because he started to shake.

"You have never been a father to me, and I was never your son. If it wouldn't have been for mother, I would have grown up without a father. But I have one, one who loves me more than anything, and you are not him. You're some kind of pathetic asshole who wanted a crown, nothing more. You loved Liam because he was yours, unable to accept me as yours, too. You hated me your whole life, and I learned to hate you, too. The only place for you is hell." He didn't realizethat he was choking on tears during the last sentences, and he also didn't realize that he had pushed the sword deeper with every word, hadn't heard the King choke on blood when the cold iron had pushed through his throat.

Killian blinked the tears away and only when he opened his eyes again did he lookinto a pair of empty ones. His body started shaking for a moment, and he drew the sword out, putting it back into the sheath. He ran his sleeve over his eyes before he crouched down and closed the King's eyes. He couldn't stand the look in them.

He took a deep breath before he turned his back to this man who had been a stranger to him all his life. For a second, he waited while he stood in front of the door before he just started running, trying to forget what just happened. He had to cover the whole thing up somehow, and he already knew how.

"We're under attack! The crows are here! Find them!" he started to yell, and not a second later, he heard the guards start to move. The armaments made their noises like a hammer against his head.

The King was dead, and it was his fault.

* * *

When Emma heard the alarm bell and the wild running in the corridors, she opened the door and stepped out, looking around with the hope to find someone who could tell her what was happening. She was about to stop a servant when Killian came in her direction, and she walked toward him. Without a word, he pulled her into a hug, ignoring the people who were running around them. For a moment, she was confused but wrapped her arms around him before she pulled back a little to look him in the eyes.

"Killian, what's happening?" she asked him and saw the worried look on his face.

He leaned down to kiss her forehead, still holding her. "We got infiltrated. The King is dead. They're looking for my heart. I have to see if it's safe." He smiled weakly at her before he pushed a strain of hair out of her face and let go of her body, about to walk past her, but she grabbed his wrist.

His eyes gazed down to where she was holding his wrist before he looked back into her green eyes. "If you tell me now to lock myself up in the room, I'll slap you. I'm coming with you."

"But Emma-" he started, but she cut him off with a shake of her head.

"No. Let's go," she simply said and interlaced her fingers with his before they both hurried with fast steps into the direction of the burned wing.

They ignored some confused looks of servants and guards who were running around like chickens with a fox in their middle. Emma's thoughts were running as much as the people around them did. The King was dead? The enemy was inside the castle? What kind of enemy? Why did they want his heart so badly?

She got pulled out of her thoughts when they entered the burned wing, and the old room where she had been afraid for her life only a couple of weeks ago. Killian didn't waste any time. He let go of her hand and walked down toward the hidden door she had found. From afar it seemed untouched and she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. When he opened it, she didn't follow him until he turned around and looked at her with a question in his eyes.

"I wasn't sure if you want me to follow you. It's kind of personal," she said and bit her bottom lip, smiling slightly at him, but he just chuckled, holding his hand out.

"You are a part of my life now, Emma."

Her smile grew wider and she took his hand, stepping into the small passage and closing the door behind her before he walked her down into the vault. It was dusty, full of spider webs and dark but he knew where to step. She wondered how many times he spent here with his heart.

It took a few moments until they were in the real vault, a cold place, surrounded by stone walls but with a chest in the middle. His heart could only be in there.

"That's some stuff they write in books, you know. An abandoned vault inside the walls of the castle with some dark secret," she told him with a grin on her face, and he rolled his eyes with an amused smirk, but he didn't make another move.

"I thought you wanted to check?" she asked him and tilted her head to the side, her eyes switching between him and the chest.

"I don't have to. I can hear it. My own heartbeat. It's pounding in my ears like my heart is screaming to jump back into my chest. But it would kill me," he answered with a wry smile on his lips.

Emma just nodded. She had no idea how it was possible, but she hadn't much contact with magic in her life either. Her kingdom hadn't much magic left, so she grew up without knowing much about it, only reading stories in books, but his kingdom seemed to have more magic and also more issues.

For a long moment, she just stood there, playing with her dress and chewing on her bottom lip before she took a deep breath and looked him directly in the eyes.

"Can I?" Just a simple question, but given the situation, it was heavy on her shoulders. She was curious about him, his heart, his story. The fact that they were kind of under attack with a dead king wasn't in her mind right now. It was all about him.

Then he nodded, and she took a step forward to the chest, running her hands over the wood before she opened it slowly. She had never seen a heart that was ripped out by magic, and when her eyes fell on the dark piece of meat she would have preferred to not know how it looked like. It was hard to believe that it was a real heart, but it was beating over and over again, the sign that he was alive.

"Do they all look like this?" she asked and turned her head to him, watching how he had sat down on an old chair. He shook his head as an answer and sighed.

"They normally glow, but given the fact that I'm cursed, it's just rotting. It stopped the sickness inside of me, but I'm sure that it'll just crumble to dust one day, and I'll die anyway. I just have more time left," he said with a sad smile, and her eyes widened before she looked back, her fingers itching to touch it.

"Do you know more about them? Magical, ripped out hearts I mean?" She swallowed and just kept looking at how the heart was beating inside of the wooden prison.

"Not much. I heard that you can talk through it, that you can make people say and do what you want when you have their heart, but I wasn't keen on trying, and it's a Dark One thing. I never really took it out of the box, honestly. I look at it from time to time to punish myself, but that's it." He shrugged and looked away from her, and she smiled at him, but the smile turned into a grin full of mischief soon.

While he was busy looking at the stone wall next to him, she took his heart, no matter how disgusting it looked. It was his heart after all, and she loved all of him. It wasn't heavy at all and not as slimy as she thought it would be.

"Princess Emma is the most beautiful princess in all the kingdoms," she spoke while she had her lips close to his heart, holding it in both palms of her hands.

His head snapped to the side as soon as she started to speak the words, but a second later he repeated her words before he let out a groan.

"Really now?" he said in a huff and got up, taking a step forward to get the heart out of her hands, but she made him stop, and he stood frozen in place with a grumpy expression on his face.

"I think we can consider your theory as true." She slightly giggled, and he couldn't suppress a small smile on his lips while he tried to be mad at her, but he just couldn't.

Emma put his heart back into the chest and closed it. Before she could turn back around, he was behind her, his hands on her waist and placing a kiss on her shoulder. "Don't do that again. It's great power over me you had in your hands. I don't like that."

She turned in his arms and leaned against the stone socket where the chest was placed on. Her hands wandered over his chest for a moment before she looked up at him.

"Why did you check on me first?" she suddenly asked him, and he tilted his head in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You apparently knew that they were after your heart and yet, you came to me first. Our room wasn't on your way to the burned wing, no matter where you would have come from. So why?" She didn't want to pry, but she was curious. His heart was his most vulnerable thing he had. It could be crushed and kill him in a second.

For a long moment, he didn't answer and just looked into her eyes before he smiled and placed another kiss on her forehead. "Because you are my heart, Emma. I don't need that piece of meat inside of there as long as I have you. You make me feel, you make me love, you make me a better person. If they hurt you, they hurt me."

She swallowed at his words before she leaned up and kissed him softly, running her hand over his rough stubble on his cheek, but he dropped his head a little and put his forehead on her shoulder while she stroked his hair a little. It was understandable that he was probably relieved and just glad that his heart was safe and just needed a moment.

"The sickness will spread throughout your whole body, bone and flesh alike. It will cause you great pain and then kill you," he suddenly whispered against her shoulder, and she took his head into her hands and lifted it so she could look at him.

"What?" she asked with confusion on her face, but he simply took a step back, running a hand through his messy hair.

"I told you about the witch who cursed me? That's what she told me, not directly on the day, but in my dreams. I had nightmare after nightmare until my heart was taken from me. I was only fourteen and so afraid of all this. Even after my heart was gone I had nightmares, dark dreams of dark desires that shouldn't be said out loud. But with you..." He stopped for a moment to lift his hand, running his knuckles over her cheek, and she slightly leaned against the touch. "With you, I can dream good things. I'm just grateful you found me."

Emma took his hand in hers and laughed a little, pulling him close. "Found you? More like had to come here to marry that dick of a prince," she giggled and grinned at him while he just huffed and leaned forward to bite her bottom lip.

"We should go back, it should be safe," he said and closed his eyes for a second. Only then it came back into Emma's mind why they were here and what had happened. They had been attacked, the King was dead. Oh god.

"I'm so sorry, Killian." She wrapped her arms around him, and he put his chin on her head with a slightly confused expression.

"Why exactly?" he asked her and put his arms around her too, gently stroking her back.

Her answer was only a slap to his side first before she looked up at him. "The King is dead. I know you didn't like him, and he was cruel to you, but shouldn't you be sad? He was your father after all."

Just thinking about the same thing happening to her father brought tears to her eyes. She loved her parents dearly, even with the whole arranged marriage thing and having a second child. After being lost for so many years, she had learned to love them. They were her family after all, and family always came first.

His teeth were digging in his bottom lip, and she frowned for a moment, would love to know what he was thinking before he simply smiled a little at her. "They poisoned him. There was no way to save him. But you know what his death means, right?"

She closed her eyes for a second before she nodded. He would become king after the mourning time and the funeral, and they would marry. They would be king and queen, and if she was honest, she was kind of afraid of having such a responsibility. This kingdom hadn't had a queen in such a long time, and she didn't know how the people would accept her.

Then she felt how his hand grabbed hers, and he smiled at her, pulling her slightly into the direction that lead out of the vault. It was strange that she didn't really mourn the King's death, but maybe it was because of Killian's behavior. He was so calm now that his heart was safe, now that she was safe. She had also known that the King was a horrible man who had treated his own son like shit, so she wouldn't shed a tear, at least not now, but she would have to write her parents and see what they thought about the whole situation.

* * *

He had gotten up in the middle of the night and was standing in front of the window now, looking out into the dark woods. The King was dead for only a couple of hours and people were already breathing down his neck with questions and offers and just everything he didn't want to deal with right now. He had pushed the marriage back, called a mourning time for a week now. The funeral would be halfway in three days. After the week, they would focus on the marriage with much more room for guests to arrive and planning so Emma would get the wedding she deserves. Not some rushed feast with some lords and ladies. He also planned to propose like a future king to his future queen.

As soon as the funeral was over, he would leave to find Blackbeard and the pirates. He had to withdraw the deal, make a new one, but he wasn't quite sure what exactly he should do. The time was scarce, the rebels of the sea would riot if he would take too much time. He was just happy that no one doubted that the Crows killed the King. The news already went around like wildfire. People were talking, and the men of the darkness were wanted with some great head money on their names. There was no doubt that some bounty hunter would jump on it and get these men out of the way who knew where his heart was.

"You're restless again," a female voice suddenly said, but this time he didn't tense up, he knew it was just his blonde princess who apparently woke up because the side of the bed was empty. She wrapped her arms around him again, and he placed his hands on hers, drawing some pattern.

"It's just quite a lot that has happened in such a short amount of time," he whispered back and felt how she nodded against his back.

"Come on, I know what will help." She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the bed. He just raised an eyebrow and followed in silence.

The bed dipped down when Emma sat at the edge of the bed and patted the blanket beside her. "Lay down and place your head in my lap." The soft smile on her lips was convincing enough, and he nodded, laying down like she wanted him to.

It was dark, but the moonlight gave enough light to make out her green eyes in the darkness, and he smiled up at her. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, and she laughed softly, leaning down to kiss the top of his nose.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" she suddenly said, and he frowned slightly, but then she ran her fingers over his forehead to soothe she small wrinkles.

"What makes you think that I need to talk?" He really didn't know why she said this now. Did she know something that she wasn't supposed to know? The soothing movement of her fingers over his skin made him close his eyes, the headache that had started to build was slowly running out of his head.

"I know something is up. Maybe it's just because of everything that had happened, maybe there's something you don't want to tell me. I just want you to know that you can." After her words, he opened one eye and looked up at her, feeling how her other hand was playing with his hair before he closed the eye again and just relaxed into her touch. He just felt so alive whenever she was touching him, and he started to crave more.

Killian sat up without a word and grinned at her. "I prefer something else," he said with a grin of mischief on his lips, and Emma just raised an amused eyebrow before she leaned in, running her tongue over her bottom lip.

"And here I thought you were exhausted." Her tone was playful, and her fingers were running down his bare chest in a way that made him swallow and his underpants tighter.

"I always have enough energy for you, love," he simply replied and pulled her into a kiss, groaning slightly when she let herself fall back and pulled him with her. He would take this moment, distracting himself from everything that was going on. She was his safe haven, and he would drown in her tonight.

Emma smiled up at him and traced her hand along his stubble before she rolled them over so he was on his back. He didn't seem to mind, so she grinned at him and started to suck on his neck, probably leaving a mark for the next day.

"Killian?" Her voice wasn't more than a whisper, and she straddled his waist, looking down at him while his hand gripped her bare thighs, glad that she was only covered in her undergarments.

"Hm?" he simply replied, stroking up and down her thighs and giving her goosebumps with his gentle touch.

"Let me make you feel good." It was a simple line, and Emma didn't really know what he would say, but she wanted to give him something like he had done for her with her first time. It was still tingling in her bones, and she was glad that he had been so gentle with her.

His brows furrowed together, and he lifted himself up on his forearms, tilting his head. "You don't have to do anything, you know that, right?"

The princess simply nodded before she leaned forward and nibbled on his neck with a small grin, rocking her hips into him and drawing a deep groan from him. "But I want to. Just...let me, okay?"

He didn't say anything but nodded, so she bit down on his flesh and got a yelp from him while his hands gripped her thighs more. "Yes, princess!" he said and laughed softly.

She grinned at him and kissed him briefly before she kissed down his chest, scraping her nails over his chest, his dark hair tickling her hands a little. A few bites here and there to get a groan or growl from him made her grin, knowing that he made these noises because of her was strangely arousing.

Killian bucked his hips up a few times, trying to get friction, and she could feel the growing erection under the short pants he was wearing, so she hooked her fingers under it and removed them, throwing them somewhere on the floor. She removed her bra and saw how he gulped, but she simply grinned at him.

Her tongue made contact with his cock, and he drew in a harsh breath before she swirled it around the tip, tasting the salty precum. She traced a line from the base to the head, trying to remember how he had liked it the last time before she simply took it all in her mouth, bobbing her head up and down a few times.

The sounds he made were glorious, whispered curses and praises mixed between deep growls and loud groans, sometimes her name somewhere in between. When she took him in so deep that her nose made contact with his lower stomach he fisted his hands in the sheets for a moment before she pulled back.

"Fuck, you have to stop," he breathed out, and she released his cock from her mouth, only licking the tip for a few more seconds before she removed her panties and straddled him again.

"Sure you can handle it?" she asked him with a grin while she trailed a finger up and down his erection, watching how it slightly moved under her touch, and he whimpered, a sound she didn't expect to hear in that situation, but it filled her with pride.

"Are you sure you want to?" She bit her bottom lip at his question, she knew that as soon as she would sink down on his length that it would go deeper than it had the last time, but she also knew from Ruby and lots of books that men really liked this position because of that.

"I want to try at least," she answered with a shrug and a smile before she lifted herself and positioned his cock under her, slowly sinking down. Her eyes were closed, and she placed her hands on his chest for support, could almost feel how hard he tried to hold himself back and not just thrust upward to take it.

She sank down slowly, painfully slowly. Her arousal was dripping down her thighs and his cock, making it easier, but it was still a new thing for her, and she needed time. Halfway down she opened her eyes to look at him, the blue staring back at her, and he had an encouraging smile on his lips. She smiled back and took in a deep breath before sinking down all the way. For a second, she bit her bottom lip, trying to ignore the light pain that was soon replaced with pleasure.

"Damn," she whispered under her breath, and he chuckled slightly, winking at her with a cocky grin on his lips. Idiot.

As much as he wanted to move his hips, he waited for her, until she was ready, and she was grateful for it. When she thought she got adjusted to his size, she slowly started to move her hips, her hands still on his chest, moving and shifting around, trying to find the right rhythm and position.

His hips bucked up, and she just knew she got it right. Her movements got faster, and soon they both were panting and covered in sweat. Her fingernails were digging into his chest, and he groaned, his fingers gripping her thighs while she got faster and faster, moving up and down on him.

He suddenly moved one of his hand between them where they were joined and started to draw slow circles around her clit. She moaned loudly at the feeling and moved only faster, riding him and pressing herself more against his hand until she could feel the pleasure growing more and more, and she suddenly exploded without a warning, her walls clamping down on him.

His name left her lips in a scream, and she slumped forward. He wrapped his arms around her lips, bucking his hips up roughly a few more times until he came too with a loud groan and spilled himself in her.

They lay there for a long moment in silence before she lifted herself up and slipped out of him, moving next to his side to rest her head on his chest, noticing the red angry marks.

"I'm sorry," she said with a small smirk on her lips, tracing one line with her finger, and he laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"There's no reason to be sorry. It was perfect. You are perfect. I can handle scratches," he answered with a laugh and pulled the blanket over their spent bodies. The next days would be exhausting, and they needed the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up to this chapter, it was just a re-upload from FFN to here aka all the chapters after this one will be new and need time to write~ Thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

The first three days after the King's death had been rough. Emma had barely seen him. He had to deal with confused people, the council, the funeral, and most of all, with the people of his kingdom. He had been riding to several small villages himself, had invited the people to come to the funeral. Sometimes, she had ridden with him, and one thing she noticed was that the men and women of this kingdom were quite fond of him, more than of his father for sure.

On the second day, they had gotten the chance to sleep in a little more, enjoying each other's presence before a guard had woken them up, telling him that he needed to give an audience, and she gladly kept him company during this time. She wasn't his queen quite yet, but she would give him advice anyway whenever he asked for it, showing the people who were there that this would be usual in a couple of weeks.

On the third day, it was time for the funeral. People from all around the kingdom gathered in and around the castle. They watched how the King was carried to his crypt on the royal cemetery, but for the end ceremony, only a few people had been left. To her surprise, Killian had denied the King the place between his mother and ordered to put the coffin at the other side of the crypt. She was curious but didn't want to pry, not today, not when everyone was mourning.

Today was the fourth day, and she really couldn't complain about it. While the kingdom started to recover from the King's death, Killian did too. Especially today, and she would be lying if she denied that she liked the view. In fact, she could get used to it.

He was standing there with his sword in his hand in that little sparring circle where he had shown her how to handle a real sword. The sun was burning down on his tanned skin after it had been clouded for the last few days (ironic, yeah). He decided to have a sparring battle with Victor, and of course, they had both taken their shirts off, standing there with sweat on their skin and messy hair. If she was a less controlled woman, she would go over there to lick on him, but that would make a weird picture of the future queen.

She wished the day would never end because she could watch them for hours. With every move he made he was literally dancing over the ground, beating Victor every time, and they always started a new round. He was good in what he was doing and way too handsome too, even more when he was fighting, and she could watch the muscles move under his skin.

He suddenly turned his head toward her and grinned. She could immediately feel how all the blood was rushing to her face, and she blushed slightly, shifting her gaze to the ground before she heard him laughing. When she looked back at him, he was still grinning, waiting for Victor to finish his drink.

Killian stretched himself and yawned, running his free hand through his already messy hair before he grabbed the handle of the sword with two hands again, holding his sword up as soon as Victor stepped back into the circle. Emma clenched her thighs together and saw how his arm muscles only got more visible when he raised his sword again to crash it down on Victor, and with that, she decided that they needed to stop before she was exploding.

But before she could say anything, Ruby came down to where she was standing, just a little away from the circle, leaning against a tree to get some shadow.

"You've watched them for two hours now, don't you think it's enough?" Ruby said with a laugh and crossed her arms over her chest, grinning at Emma who still had the slight blush on her cheeks.

"I was actually going to ask them for a break," the blonde said with apparently a glint in her eye that made her friend grin only more.

"Good because I need that handsome man over there," she spoke before she walked a little forward toward the circle.

"Hey, king to be! Can I borrow my man? I think your lady would also want some attention." With these words, Emma's eyes widened a little more and she swallowed but stepped beside her best friend with a sweet smile on her lips.

The men exchanged a look, and Victor let his sword drop to the ground and got over to Ruby while Killian was putting his sword back into the sheath and Emma walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around him and pulled his sweaty body against hers, placing a soft kiss on his shoulders.

"I wasn't really finished with him," he said and turned around with a pout on his lips. She slapped him lightly on the chest with a laugh and leaned up to bit his bottom lip while she rested her hand on his chest, playing with the hair there a little.

"Well, I thought it would be time to train your sword." Wait, did she just say that? Oh god, he was turning her into some lusting monster. There was something inside of her that was always pulling her toward him, and she hated to be without him. She had missed him terribly the last three days even though they had seen each other from time to time.

But when she saw how his eyebrows shot up, and he started grinning again, she didn't regret her words at all. A laugh left his mouth when he lifted her up to sit on one of the bigger hay bails next to the stable, stepping between her legs that she wrapped gladly around his waist.

"Do you really think it needs some training, love?" he asked her with a smirk of mischief on his lips, tugging at the hem of her white top. She was really glad that he let her wear what she wanted when they didn't have to deal with some king and queen stuff. When she was little, she never had dresses, always wore some shirt and pants. She had kept that habit even after her parents had found her again, through they weren't that fond of that. So whenever she could, she got rid of the dress and dressed in clothes she was really comfortable with.

She acted like she needed to think before she shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe you should show me your skills so we can figure it out?" her soft voice asked in the most innocent way while she played with her hair, rolling it over her finger with a tilted head.

A deep growl left his throat, and he lifted her up, carrying her inside the stables before he sat her down the ladder and nodded up.

"Are you serious?" she asked him with a giggle but climbed upstairs to the hayloft anyway, followed by him.

"What can I say, I doubt that we would make it to our chambers, love." He shrugged as soon as he was standing upstairs and next to her with a grin, backing her up against the wall.

"What if someone hears us?" She bit her bottom lip, not very keen on some stable boy to find them in a ... situation up here. That would be quite embarrassing, especially if he would have a big mouth.

"Then they don't know it's us." He was so careless, and she loved it about him. He had his thoughts together and was responsible when it came to his kingdom and people, but when it came to them, they lived a little more. She knew that he hated the golden cage he had grown up in, and she had soon noticed how much he liked his freedom. It almost seemed that things like this when he didn't care about consequences were a little bit of that freedom.

"Well then, let's see if training is necessary," she said and slipped a finger under the waistband of his pants, pulling him closer before she kissed him, softly at first, but it soon turned passionate.

It didn't take long until they got rid of their clothes and landed in the hay, and it didn't take him long to prove that he wouldn't need to train his own sword at all.

* * *

 

"I'm so glad we finally got out of the castle!" Ruby said with a sigh before she took a deep breath like she had been in the dungeon for quite some time.

"Don't act like you never get out," Emma said with a laugh, hearing a soft giggle from Tink next to her.

Maybe it wasn't the most princess thing to do. It was totally not the most future queen to be thing to do, but they did it anyway. After everything that happened, the three of them had planned to get out of the castle together, for at least a couple of hours. Without guards. Without them no one would recognize them. Without being watched by every step they took.

Yes, it was reckless, but it was also the freedom she and Killian always sought and mostly only got when they were together. The three girls had dressed up in the most not noble way, a normal shirt and pants, almost looking like a peasant with a cloak around them in the case that someone they knew passed by so they could simply put the hood up, trying to avoid gazes.

The weather was just as perfect as it had been earlier, and Emma was glad to get out of the cold castle walls around them.

"So, are you going to tell us why you had hay in your hair before?" Ruby said with a stupid grin on her lips while they made their way toward the city that was closest to the castle and that was also considered the capitol of the kingdom because it was the biggest city of all. The castle itself was mostly surrounded by forest with only small towns and villages a few miles away, but if you would go north, you would be able to visit the biggest city and probably the first after the castle had been built.

"I have no idea," Emma answered and shrugged slightly but not able to hide her blush from her friends. Ruby immediately got the clue and nudged her in the ribs with her elbow.

"You did it in the stables!",she said a little too loud, and Emma hushed her, cheeks now fire red, and Tink laughed with Ruby about her reaction.

"Never thought you would do such a thing, Princess," the other blonde said with a teasing smile, and Emma rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out.

"It was his idea," she mumbled under her breath.

"And yet you accepted," the brunette on her right said and whistled while Emma just shook her head. She would not spill more details about this part of her life. Both girls already knew more than enough.

"Did the stable boy catch you?" Ruby asked her with a huge grin and wiggled her eyebrows, but Emma shook her head.

"No. He didn't come in for hours. We've been wondering where he went," she answered honestly with a shrug. She and Killian had speculated about what he was doing during the time he had been supposed to take care of the horses. Good for them, though.

"For hours?!" the brunette said and bit her bottom lip with a teasing smirk, but Emma just slapped her in the side, blushing again before the other girl already changed the topic.

"Excuse me? What am I seeing there? Is that a blush on your face, Lady Bell?" Ruby suddenly said and Emma's head snapped to the side, her eyes growing wide when there was indeed a flush on the blonde's face.

"Oh, you didn't," Emma said with a grin, probably having the same look as Ruby on her face, happy that the topic changed, and she didn't have to spill any more details.

"Well, we certainly didn't do what you guys did!" Tink said quickly back but couldn't keep the smile away from her lips. "He is a really nice guy, okay."

The girls made their way through the city, looking at market stalls while Ruby tried to get more information from Tink. Emma on the other side was amazed by how much was going on in this place even through it was still the mourning week. It was supposed to be a lot calmer so people could mourn the death of their king, but she also had noticed that many people haven't been fond of the old one, so they kept going with their daily business.

Good for them, so they could take their time off and look around. She never really had the time to do it like this. She had been here before but only with guards and Ruby being annoyed with them. Ever since they always had made his plan of sneaking away just like they had done so many times when they were young girls, sneaking out of the castle and taking a ride on their horses or going to the city like they were doing it now.

Emma smiled when the smell of fresh bread reached her nose, and she walked over to the lady who sold the breads in front of her bakery. Ruby and Tink were still completely caught in some fabric stall on the other side of the road. After a quick chat, Emma bought the bread and went back to the other girls to share it with them. They made their way down the road while eating the tasty food. It was much better than the bread they got in the castle.

While Tink and Ruby were busy chatting with some fruit merchant, two kids caught her attention. She tilted her head slightly and watched how both of the kids were sitting in a dirty alley, looking at the food they probably couldn't afford. Their clothes were torn apart, and she felt bad for them immediately. She had been in this situation of not having enough food to feel full.

Without a second thought, she walked over to them and coughed slightly to get their attention. The boy immediately jumped on his feet, standing in front of the girl.

"Hello you two," she said with a warm smile on her lips and crouched down a little, so she wouldn't look down to them but be on the same height instead.

"We did nothing wrong!" the boy exclaimed immediately and held his hand out to shield the little brown haired girl. Emma's smile grew a little sad when she saw that she knew that look in the girl's eye, the one of being lost and unwanted.

"What are your names?" Emma asked and tilted her head, watching how the boy frowned and let his hand sink down but still looked at her suspiciously. She laughed softly and pulled the rest of the bread out of the cloak, holding it out. "If you tell me your names, you can have the rest."

The little girl suddenly stepped forward and smiled at her, getting a disapproving look from the black haired boy. "I'm Freya. This is my brother Gavin."

Gavin huffed, but the girl just took the bread from Emma wish shaking hands before she split it in two halves and gave the other one to her brother.

"Where are your parents?" Emma asked carefully, knowing how much damage this question could make, but the kids were apparently used to it. While Freya's eyes got sad, the boy took the word.

"Dead," he said and shrugged while he bit into the bread. "We live in the orphanage."

Emma's heart sank into her stomach at his words. For children from an orphanage, it didn't look like it would be a good place to stay for them. She swallowed when her memories wandered back to the time she had lived in a similar place.

"Can you show me?" she asked and tilted her head, getting a raised eyebrow from Gavin that reminded her a little of Killian doing the same thing.

"Why? I doubt you're going to take anyone home." The boy seemed to be a lot rougher than his sister, but she understood that. If they were really orphans, living in a place where no one wants you, you had to be like this.

Freya slapped his arm slightly before she smiled at Emma. "I'll show you," she said and reached out with her hand to take Emma's. She smiled at the kid when she got up, hearing how Gavin huffed again, putting his hands in his pockets. He would follow them.

"Emma! What are you doing there?" Ruby suddenly asked and peaked into the alley, raising both eyebrows when she saw her friend with both children. "Are you going to give Killian some kids now? I always thought he would prefer to make them with you." The brunette wiggled her eyebrows and Emma groaned, shaking her head.

Tink also joined Ruby's side with a basket of fruits in her hand, raising an eyebrow at the scene.

"Do you know about the orphanage?", the princess asked her blonde friend. She would know this for sure when she had lived with her for quite some time.

"I do know, but I've never been there", she answered and looked towards the two kids.

"We're going there. I want to see the place," Emma said firmly. She had already made her mind up about this. She wanted to see the place because if she would be queen, there would be no chance that children had to live in a shitty orphanage. She wanted to help them.

It was a quick walk through some alleys until they were in a much less looking part of the city. The whole time the girl had held Emma's held tightly while her brother had been walking behind the girls without saying a word.

They stopped in front of a rather unpleasant looking building. It was huge for sure, but it was bedraggled, and she normally would have doubted that anyone would live inside of there.

"Here we are," Gavin announced from behind and walked past the girls, hands still in his pockets while he walked toward the door. "I'm sure Miss Laine would love visitors." His voice was sarcastic, and he shook his head before he walked inside.

"Miss Laine is the head of the orphanage," Freya said and looked up to Emma before she walked forward and pulled her with her.

"Ah, I heard of her. Not supposed to be the nicest lady around," Tink whispered into Emma's ear while they followed the little girl.

"Don't worry. It wouldn't be the first nasty woman I've met."

* * *

 

_"Emma, do the dishes!" the harsh voice came from behind her, and the young girl almost jumped from the place where she had been sitting with the book. "And put this trash away."_

_The older woman grabbed the book and threw it to the other side of the room. Emma looked after it and felt how tears were dwelling in her eyes before she clenched her fist, biting her bottom lip hard._

_"Don't do that and hurry," the woman said and left the room without giving Emma the chance to say something. With sad, tear filled eyes she walked toward the kitchen where she was met with a cheeky smirk._

_"Come here," the boy said and pulled her into a hug, but she refused to cry._

_"It's not fair," she sobbed against his shoulder but kept the tears inside, only hugging him closer. "It's not fair, August."_

_"You know Moraine, she's always like that," he answered and cradled her head a little, but Emma pulled back, shaking her head while a single tear was rolling down her cheek._

_"But she acts like I'm the worst and only one here! I've been doing the dishes for almost a week now, alone! I have to wake up early in the morning, earlier than all of the others. What is so wrong with me that she treats me like that, August?" Tears were streaming down her face now while she stood in the kitchen, sobbing without a break, her eyes closed and her head hanging down._

_She didn't see the look he had in his eyes before he took another step forward and pulled her back into his arms. "Shhh," he simply said, trying to calm her down. "There is nothing wrong with you. You're special in every way, and she can't deal with it."_

* * *

 

They went inside and Emma looked around with a frown on her face. It really looked terribly in there, and she wondered if the king had offered any support at all. She would have to talk about this place with Killian later. She didn't want any of these kids in here to go hungry.

"Do you want to take a kid or leave money? If not, you can go," a harsh female voice said, and Emma winced slightly. It reminder her a lot about Moraine's voice back in her childhood. She turned around to face the older woman while Freya was slightly hiding behind her, away from the other woman.

"No but-" Emma started, but the older woman just held her hand up with a towel in her hand.

"I have no time for this, I have to take care of thirty brats who all want food," she said with a snarl while Emma just took a deep breath, looking back at Tink and Ruby before her gaze met the one of the older woman again.

She let go of Freya's hand and stepped forward, holding her hand out. "I'm Princess Emma," she told the woman in front of her and watched with satisfaction how the other one's face literally fell apart at her words.

The grey haired woman immediately made a curtsy, and Emma smiled down at Freya who looked at her with big brown eyes, full of disbelief.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm Miss Laine, it's a pleasure to meet you, my princess." Her words sounded shallow, and Emma had a bad feeling about this woman, but she would try to gather information.

"Can we talk somewhere? I'd like to know more about this place," she offered with a sweet smile while Miss Laine was running a hand nervously through her hair. A giggle came from behind, and Emma saw how Ruby had to cover her mouth.

"Of course! Just follow me," the old woman said and just waved in a direction.

"Go with her, I'll be there in a bit." Emma looked at her two friends, and they nodded slightly before they followed the woman into one of the rooms.

The Princess crouched down a little so she could look Freya in the eyes, smiling at her. "You're the princess?" the little girl asked, still completely stunned, and Emma just nodded, moving one of the brown strands behind Freya's ear before she reached inside of her cloak and pulled a little bag out.

"Here, that's for you and your brother. Buy what you want, and I promise you, I'll take care of this place, alright?" Her voice was soft while she spoke to the girl in front of her, barely older than she had been when August had vanished, and she hoped that Gavin wouldn't do the same to her one day.

"Why? I mean, no one else cares..." Freya suddenly started to sob, but Emma reached forward, brushing the girl's cheek slightly.

"Because I know how you feel. You might not believe me, but I do know. Maybe I'll tell you the story one day, okay?" She stood up and smiled down at the kid who started to smile too before she said good bye and ran off, probably to find her brother.

Emma smiled after her before she went into the direction the other three had gone. She had seen herself in the little girl, and it would be wrong to simply ignore this situation.

* * *

 

He would do it today. Yes, it was quite the weird moment, but the sooner the better. The King was gone, and he would become the new king soon and before that, he had to deal with all his open issues. The pirates, the council, the proposal. The last issue would be taken care of tonight.

The fact that the funeral had just been yesterday didn't matter to him. He didn't mourn, Emma didn't really mourn the death of his abuser, hell not even some of the people in his kingdom didn't miss the old king, and he couldn't blame them.

It had been quite the surprise that they showed him so much respect and hope when he had visited some villages or when they came for the funeral. They hadn't come because of the dead king, they had come to see the new one with hope in their eyes. Hope that he would be able to end the ogre war in the west, hope that he could lead this kingdom back to its usual strength.

Ever since his mother was killed, the kingdom just got weaker because that bastard of a king hadn't cared. Killian just knew he would want to make it better, with Emma at his side. The King and the Queen of the South, with him as the rightful heir to the throne.

The Prince was walking up and down in their room, putting candles up. While Emma was out with Tink and Ruby, he would get everything ready. Candles, flowers, dinner in their room, away from everyone. After that, he would propose to her, something that she deserved instead of being thrown into a marriage just like that. She deserved the best, and he would try to give it to her. With every step they took together, she lead him out of the darkness while holding his hand, and he was more than grateful for it.

When he had all set up in the room, he sat down on the table with a book, waiting for her to arrive. The servants would bring the food later, so there was no chance that it would cool down too fast. His thoughts were soon driving off to the plot in the book about pirates and princesses, and he chuckled to himself while reading it.

Quite some time passed before he heard footsteps right outside of the door, and he jumped up from his chair, putting the book aside quickly when the door opened.

"I was wondering when-" he stopped mid-sentence when he saw the red hair swaying in before she closed the door quickly, panting heavily.

His eyes widened slightly, and he frowned. "Ariel?" he asked in disbelief because what the hell was she doing here? How did she even get inside? No one knew about their connection and he really needed to have a talk with his guards. On the other hand, she was a smart, beautiful woman. If she really needed to, she would always find a way.

"Killian!" she exclaimed and stepped forward with fast steps, throwing her arms around his neck, pressing her face against his shoulder before he heard how she started to sob against it. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, holding her close in confusion.

"What- What's wrong? Why are you here? What happened?" So many questions were running around in his head, and he was worried about everyone and everything in that moment. He pulled back slowly and looked into her red, puffy eyes. Ariel was not a woman who cried easily. She was fierce and strong, just like his mother had been.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned down a bit, looking right at her. "Hey, tell me what happened," he said in a soft voice, almost like he was afraid to speak too loud. She seemed completely distraught and just shook her head over and over again.

"I...I came here as fast as I could. It's...Blackbeard. They...he-" she stopped for a moment, trying to catch a breath between her sobs, and Killian's heart started to beat faster in his chest while he held his breath, not daring to breathe until she spoke.

"The Dark One got him. He got your father, Killian."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Damn, this chapter took long and I apologize. Writer's block is a bitch but I hope you're still reading this story with joy haha. I actually just wanted to give you some fluff but Emma's backstory and the "shocking" reveal at the end kinda slipped in. Some already expected that the king wouldn't be Killian's real father, some really did not, what about you? Sneaky, sneaky Dark One tho, trying to get Killian out of the defence. Think he can make it in time to save his real father? What would Emma say? Leave reviews, they fuel my muse to answer all these quesions soon ;) Hope you liked the chapter!


	25. Chapter 25

_His tiny hand was holding the bigger one of his mother while they walked up the long gangplank up to the ship where Ariel was already waiting on top, waving towards the two visitors. The ship was in a bay, quite a bit away from their current resident but Killian didn't mind at all, he loved the sea, the smell, the freedom he felt when he was close to it. He never really understood why he felt that way, he barely knew anything else than the cold castle walls that were around him most time of the year._

_„Ariel!" Killian suddenly yelled and let go of his mother's hand, running up to the red haired woman and jumping in her arms, his arms going around her neck to hold her close._

_„Hey there, little prince," she said with a soft smile and pressed a kiss to his head, looking down to wait for the other woman to come on board. „It's so good to see you, Alaisa."_

_But the Queen was distracted, looking around on the ship, only a few men to see. „Where is he?" she asked and Ariel just chuckled before she put Killian back on the ground, ruffling his hair._

_„He's still in his cabin, waiting anxiously. He's been nervous all day," Ariel said and nodded towards a ladder while Killian just looked between the two women. He really didn't know why they were here on board of a ship but he loved it. It was so much better than one of the royal ships they had, he was never allowed to go on there to play or sail with them._

_He turned to his mother and tugged on her dress to get her attention. When she was looking down at him he bit his bottom lip for a moment, chewing on it. „Are we going to sail?" he asked shyly, afraid that she would say no but she smiled at him and nodded._

_„In a bit, yes. Just be patient." She had barely closed her mouth when Killian threw his arms in the air already._

_„Awesome!" he exclaimed loudly, getting a chuckle from two men sitting on a barrel not far away from them. Ariel had went down the latter and returned only seconds later with a man who was playing nervously with his hands, his eyes on the ground._

_Killian tilted his head to the side and watched him. „Are you the captain?" he asked without any hesitation and the man finally looked up at him and his eyes widened slightly._

_„Aye. How do you know?" He took a few steps forward, keeping his distance between the two visitors._

_„Because of your hat! That's a Captain's hat!" Killian answered and laughed softly, leaning his back against his mother's legs, feeling a hand on his shoulder while her other hand was going through his hair._

_The man's eyes shifted to the face of Alaisa and he smiled at her while biting his bottom lip. „Is that him?" he asked and swallowed before Ariel pushed on his back, causing him to stumble forward until he was only a feet away from Killian and his mother._

_„Yes, yes he is. Don't you see?" Alaisa said with a soft chuckled and the Captain looked down to the boy with the dark hair and the incredible blue eyes, so similar to his. He crouched down so he was on the same height as the boy, smiling at him._

_„What's your name, lad?" he asked and Killian grinned at him, bowing slightly forward._

_„Killian!" the young boy said with pride, causing a chuckle from the Captain and the Queen._

_„Well then, Killian. How about we go on a small sail trip with your mother?"_

_The young prince didn't even gave a real answer except an excited squeal before running up to the helm._

* * *

Killian threw the chair closest to him into a corner, anger boiling in his veins. How dare the Dark One to take his father for his shady plans, the only family he had left.

Blackbeard and his mother had fallen in love during a vacation and according to both of them, they had spent many nights together whenever she was able to leave the castle without that the king got suspicious.

After the forced marriage she had never really been happy until she had met the pirate captain and she wanted to leave with him but wasn't able to because she couldn't leave Liam and her responsibilities, it was her kingdom after all.

Many weeks and months had gone by before she noticed that she was pregnant with Killian, hiding it for a while before she told the king that it was his child even though she knew that it was from Blackbeard.

Killian had met his real father from time to time, first as a young boy and then every few month, had given him the freedom he always knew he wanted. Sailing the seas on a pirate ship instead of being the second choice in the castle.

At first he didn't understand how this man could be his father but then his mother explained everything to him and for some reason, he understood, even at such a young age.

But the king had found out one day and Killian had noticed that way too late. Even after his mother had burned in the fire he didn't really suspect anything but it was all connected. It was all his fault.

After the death of his mother, he really never knew if he was allowed to visit Blackbeard on his ship or when he was even around, he was a pirate after all and they were free.

One day Ariel had found him, close to the sea and had taken the part of a godmother, given the fact his real mother couldn't guide him anymore. She had taken him to Blackbeard, the first time he had seen the Captain after the Queen's death but it was different than he had expected. After the funeral he had thought that his only family he had left was Liam but now there was a complete crew of pirates, giving him a home and support whenever he wanted and he was glad for it.

He sneaked out of the castle as often as he could until he was old enough to ride away without that someone was worried, spending days or even weeks on a 'mission' while he was actually spending time with his family. Especially after Liam's death, he had needed a break from this cursed kingdom that took everything he loved.

And that was exactly the reason why he would go and save his father. The Dark One wouldn't take the last family he had left from him, there was no way he would allow that.

His hands were balled into fists while he stared to the ground where the chair had landed before he looked back to Ariel who looked at him with worried eyes.

„Card room. We have to make a plan before it's too late," he said, trying to calm the anger in his voice but failing. Ariel just nodded and followed him through the castle with fast steps before entering the room where they had all king of maps and boards, showing their strategy for the ogre war in the west.

„What are you going to do?" the red-haired woman asked while Killian was going around in the room to find the map he needed.

„I'm going to get my father and kill that damn crocodile in the progress. He's not going to take another person from me. He only wants me, the god damn piece of meat that's supposed to beat in my chest and for that he's using Emma and Blackbeard to get to me," he explained a grabbed a map, rolling it out on the table where Ariel was standing.

It showed Misthaven, Emma's home, then his own kingdom, the Kingdom of Droacien, apparently some old name from his mother's blood line and it showed the nameless kingdom of the west, home of the Dark One and the ogres.

„Are you saying that—" the mermaid started but Killian just looked up at her and nodded.

„Aye, I'm going to trade myself for him." There was no room for discussion for him and he looked back on the map. A way over the land would be death, given the fact that there was the ogre war on the border of both kingdoms, so he would have to sail over it. He would need a ship and then somehow get through the magic barrier that was supposed to be around the Dark One's castle.

„What about the Jolly Roger? Is she safe?" he asked and stood up straight, his hand going through his hair.

„She is, so are the crew, he only has Blackbeard, probably in his castle. But do you really think it's smart to trade yourself?" There was concern in her voice and he felt bad for doing this to her but he nodded.

„He wants me. People suffered enough because of me, it's enough," he sighed and clenched his jaw.

„What about Emma?" His body tensed at her words and he bit his bottom lip. If he died trying to save his father, she would most likely become queen or sent back to her own kingdom, depending on what the council decides. And she would probably hate him big times if he would go without telling her but if he told her as soon as she was back, she would want to join him. She was a stubborn lass after all.

„I don't know," he answered honestly and sighed again, dropping his head slightly.

_'Help me, mother,'_ he prayed in his thoughts, hoping to find a way without that anyone but the Dark One get hurt. She had called Blackbeard her True Love after all.

* * *

Emma had parted her ways with Tink and Ruby to find Killian, so she could tell him about her day and especially the orphanage. She wanted to change the life of the kids, she wanted to be a good Queen but for that, she needed Killian's help first.

On her way to her room, she had met Victor who told her that Killian was in the cardroom. Emma followed the empty hallways towards it, only to find the prince in there with a red haired woman she hadn't seen before, both looking down at a map.

„Killian?," she asked carefully and both lifted their heads and while Killian's face fell slightly apart and he didn't look happy to see her, the woman on his side smiled at her and came around.

„You must be Emma, I'm Ariel." The other woman made a curtsy and Emma did the same, laughing softly.

„It's nice to meet you but what's going on?" The blonde looked to Killian who clearly had a worried expression on his face. „Something bad?"

The future king just sighed and ran a hand through his hair, swallowing hard as he walked around the table to be closer to the two women before he leaned against the hard wood, chewing on his bottom lip.

„Can you give us a moment?" he asked and looked towards Ariel who just smiled and nodded before leaving the room. Emma felt slightly nervous that he wanted to talk alone with her, what the hell had happened while she was gone?

„I have to leave for a while to take care of something and I'd like you to stay here and keep an eye on the kingdom." His voice was soft but drained in worry and fear. Emma frowned slightly before she took a step forward, running a hand down his arm, trying to calm him and her down.

„Please, tell me what's going on," she begged him, knowing that she couldn't just let him leave like that, without any information about what's going on.

She saw how his face changed, almost like he was in pain and really didn't like telling her about what was going on. Her hand held his bigger on, toying with his fingers until he finally took a deep breath and spoke.

„You…noticed the tension between and the king before his death. That's because he wasn't my real father. My mother was in love with a pirate all those years ago, he's the only family I have left and now he's in danger," he told her, his voice trembling and he closed his eyes.

Emma's eyes widened for a moment and took a deep breath herself, not quite sure what to think of all this. The king hadn't been his real father? Sure, she had known of the trouble between them but to hear it like this, it was different. And a pirate? As the father of the king? That seemed odd to her. When she was a child she heard all kinds of stories about pirates, especially after being back in the castle and her father telling her how dangerous they were.

„Remember the time where I was gone for a while and came back, calling you to the throne room with darkness in my soul? I was with them for a while to clear my mind. He and his crew, they're my family, do you understand that?" he asked carefully, almost afraid that she would push him away.

The princess bit her bottom lip but nodded at him, she understood the feeling of being alone and also of having a family. If he was with them, they couldn't be that bad, right? If they really were his family, she didn't want him to lose them because she denied him to leave.

„What happened to your father?," she asked, trying to let everything sink in while she took his other hand too but he just pulled her into a hug, holding her close. She couldn't say for sure but if he would have a heart, it would probably beat way too fast in his chest right now.

„The Dark One has him."

It was a simply sentence that made her drew in a sharp breath before pulling back, looking at Killian with wide eyes filled with fear and shock.

„What?" It wasn't really a question but for a second she believed she hadn't heard right. What did the Dark One even want from them, why couldn't he just leave them alone? „Please don't tell me you're going to meet with him."

Killian just sighed before he nodded and she took a step back, looking at him in disbelief.

„I have to, Emma. I have to end this or we will never live in peace. I don't even know what his plan is, all I know is that he wants my heart. First he cursed Milah so I would feel something like love, then he almost killed you, poisoned me and now he has my father and I don't even know if he was the one to send the Crows after the king or not! I have to get answers and then push a sword through his chest." He rubbed a hand over his face, taking a deep breath to calm down.

In some way, she understood him but she was so afraid that something would happen to him. The Dark One was not some puppy you could play with, he was dangerous and the cause of the ogre wars. He was the reason that both kingdoms were falling apart and lost more men on the front than ever before.

„So what? You just want to go there and talk to him? I can't let you run into your death, Killian," she said with a trembling voice, balling her hand into a fist. It was almost funny how she had started to develop such a love for him after hating him in the beginning. Sure, everything had changed, she knew the reasons, his missing heart but still.

„There's a weapon to kill him, Emma You just have to let me go and I'll come back with his head on a stake and our peace." He took a step towards to her, reached for her but she just took another one back, out of his reach. „Emma, please."

„I don't want you to die, you fool!," she said louder than planned and within seconds he had pulled her into his arms, holding her close and she couldn't stop the sob falling from her lips. „I just don't want you to die."

„Don't worry about me, Emma. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's surviving. I will come back," he whispered in the crook of her neck before placing a soft kiss against her hair. „Ariel will stay here with you. She was a close friend with my mother and is in close contact with the Crew of my father. If anything happens, she will know faster than anyone. Give me two days."

„Two days? Won't you need more time to get over there?" she asked and pulled back slightly but not leaving his embrace.

„The Jolly Roger is the fastest ship in the realm, believe me," he answered with a wink and pressed another kiss to her forehead, getting a sigh from her. She was so afraid that something would happen to him but she knew how important this was for him. He would never agree to her coming with him, would probably tell her it was too dangerous but damn, she wished she could go with him.

„I don't want you to go alone," she told him in a whisper and he sighed, nodding knowingly.

„I know but I don't want you there this time. The castle is safe, so please stay here and don't come after me. Rule the kingdom while I'm gone, I will hurry." His smile didn't reach his eyes and she had no idea if this was some kind of empty promise or if he would actually make it back alive.

„When will you leave?" She bit her bottom lip, afraid he would leave in only a few hours but he smiled at her and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

„Tomorrow morning before dawn. Ariel will let the Crew know that I'm coming so the ship will be ready when I arrive. We still have some time," he said and winked with a cheeky grin. Emma just laughed at his behavior, shaking her head slightly. If he would leave so soon, she wanted to cherish the time she had left with him

* * *

They lay in their bed hours later, limbs tangled together under the blanket, their bodies covered with sweat and the only noises they could hear for a while was their heavy breathing. He had been making love to her for a couple of times, over and over again and she just knew that he was just as afraid as she was, she could see it in his eyes, feel it in his movements.

She put her head on his chest, still amazed by the feeling of no heartbeat under his skin, no pounding in her ears, it was just a void of nothing inside there.

„Killian?" she whispered in the darkness, feeling how his arm that was around her pulled her a little closer. „How do you know how to kill the Dark One?"

He took in a sharp breath and his body tensed for a long moment before she started to run her fingers up and down his chest lightly and he relaxed again.

„I've read every single book in this castle and some old stories were telling things about a dagger that gives him his power and that he keeps it in his castle. I'm not sure if it's true or not but it's worth a shot," he explained softly, his fingers running over her arm, giving her goosebumps.

„What if they're wrong?" She closed her eyes and sighed, he was taking a leap of faith, not knowing if it would even work.

„I honestly don't know but I will find a way…but can we not talk about it? I doubt it's the right topic for a pillow talk," he said and laughed softly, a laugh that was simply there to cover up how uncomfortable he really was.

She was silent for a moment and her fingers stopped moving on his skin until she turned her head a little so she could look up at him. „Can you tell me about the pirates? Stories about them? Adventures you had? I barely left the places I lived in and I'd love to hear some."

He frowned slightly and looked down at her, tilting his head just a little, apparently surprised at this request but then he nodded with a small smile on his lips. "But of course, love." His lips pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before he turned his head again and closed his eyes for a moment, taking his time to think.

"Well, most of my adventures included sailing to places I've never been to. A kingdom called Arendelle, far up in the North, way out of our reach, not sure if you even heard of it. Bloody cold place during the winter but might be nice for a summer vacation. We also did some…pillage and plundering but we never hurt the innocent. My father is a great man and a good Captain, my mother loved him a lot," he told her with a smile on his lips, his free arm going up under his head to support himself so he could look down at her.

"I heard about other realms, other worlds, different from ours but alike at the same time. There was supposed to be portals, it sounds so dumb when I say it like this, especially in times with the magic gone but I heard so many stories on my journeys with the pirates, you wouldn't believe even half of them." He laughed softly and she smiled up at him.

"Try me," she said with a smirk, placing a kiss on his chest. She had always loved stories of adventures and freedom, of pirates and princesses, of royals and criminals. When she was younger, she had taught herself to read so she could escape her life at the orphanage that was only full of pain and shame.

"Would you believe me if I'd tell you that a mermaid sailed quite frequently with us?" he said, grinning down at her to watch how her eyes grew bigger.

"No way, I thought mermaids hate pirates?" She watched his eyes in the darkness, trying to see the little glint in them, she knew it was there somewhere.

"Actually, she's sleeping down the hallway," he told her with a chuckle and Emma gasped, sitting up slightly in the bed to get a better look at him.

"Ariel's a mermaid?!" she asked, louder than she had planned before she put her hands over her mouth, afraid she had woken someone up. "She is?" she asked again after seeing his grin.

Killian just nodded and grabbed her waist, turning them around in the bed until she lay beneath him, still naked from their previous round of intercourse. His lips found her neck where he left a few love bites.

"Do you think she would tell me about mermaids? I always loved them as a kid." She gasped slightly when he sucked on the skin but he nodded, letting his lips ghost over her ear.

"I'm sure she'd love to do that. I got the same stories when I was younger and you'll love them. She'll distract you and I will be back before you realize I was gone." He laughed and let his lips wander down to her breasts, sucking on her left nipple, then on her right one.

"I wanted stories, not-" she tried to say with a pout but a moan left her lips when the tip of his hard cock found her entrance, just gently teasing. "Okay, you can tell me more stories later." A laugh left her throat and she wrapped her legs around him, pushing him inside of her. Both of them moaned at the feeling.

"So perfect," he mumbled against her neck, leaving only more love bites while her nails left some marks on his back but he never complained.

He set a lazy pace at first so he could save his breath to mutter praises while kissing her senseless.

The rest of their night was filled with him telling her stories about his adventures as a pirate and love making in turns. A few times this night he made jokes how it aroused her a lot to think about him as a pirate but she shut him up with lots of kisses until they finally fell asleep.

* * *

"You're really leaving just like that?"

Killian flinched slightly at the female voice behind him when he entered the stables and he turned around to look into Ariel's eyes that told him that she wasn't amused. He sighed slightly and went over to his horse, knowing she would follow him inside.

The sun wasn't even up yet, it was still dark outside and he had no bloody idea how she found him and knew he was going to leave sooner than he said he would but it was probably the connection they had and that this women knew him since he was a child.

"I have to," he told her with a sigh while he started to get his horse ready, knowing that she wouldn't agree with any of this. "He's my father."

"And she is your future wife," Ariel said with a disappointed sigh but he knew that she knew that there was no way to stop him.

"Listen. I told her everything. Okay, most of it. She knows you will stay with her, she knows I'll rescue my father and be back in no time. I just don't want to say goodbye." He bit his bottom lips at his words before shaking his head slightly, grabbing all the items he need, walking around in the stables while Ariel just stayed on one spot, watching him.

"Oh Killian." She shook her head and sighed.

"I left her a letter, she will understand," he told her with a snarl, not wanting to argue about this over and over again. Emma was like his other half, she knew how important this was for him, that he couldn't just let his father die. Of course he hadn't mentioned that the using the dagger of the Dark One had side effects but if he would have told her, there would have been no way that she would have let him go.

"You always said that you hated how you couldn't say goodbye to your mother."

Ariel's words were like an arrow right in his chest and he gasped briefly, closing his eyes. "I don't plan to leave her forever, I will come back. There's no reason to say goodbye," he gritted out behind his teeth before leading his horse out of its box.

"I just hope you're right," she said as he got on his horse outside of the stables. Her hand moved over the mane of the horse briefly before she looked up at Killian. "Just promise me to be careful."

He nodded and smirked at her. "Of course I will, just keep an eye on Emma for me?"

Ariel smiled in return at him and could only watch how gave his horse the signal and only a couple of minutes later, they vanished in the woods that surrounded the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new chapter, whoop! I figured it's time to break the fluff and happiness and get some angst out, mwahahaha. I hope I don't need that long for the next chapter, given the fact that it'll hopefully be full of angst and tears, so better prepare your soul for some chaos in the next few chapters. You don't mess with the Dark One, after all and Killian's not the nicest guy either *chuckles* Hope you liked this chapter, thanks to everyone who's still reading, I'd love to hear your thoughts! :3


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